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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / What Should I Do About My In Law (4639 Views)
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What Should I Do About My In Law by Doveyvia: 10:33am On Feb 14, 2020 |
Good morning Nairalanders, I've been married for 2yrs and have a son for my husband, before marriage, I made it clear to my husband I didn't want live-in in-laws which he agreed to, after marriage, he brought his sister IN, thought she was staying a few days or a week max but she's been with us for over 5 months and doesn't look like she's going anywhere, I'm no longer comfortable cause she's disrespectful, she never calls me by my son's name, she calls me my name even though she's aware we're not mates in all ramifications, but as my husband's sister, I respect her but I'm thinking I should start calling her by her first name too, or, what do you guys suggest? In addition, she doesn't help with anything in the house, she just sleeps and eats, she just registered for this year's jamb. |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by IamD18: 10:35am On Feb 14, 2020 |
Would you have complained like this if she was your own sister? Everyone knows your last paragraph is a lie. 26 Likes 1 Share
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Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by Ifesinachi22(m): 10:40am On Feb 14, 2020 |
Friday is my second favorite 'F' word. Food is my first ![]() 1 Like |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by donbachi(m): 10:40am On Feb 14, 2020 |
She no do well...just take am sey na ur own younger sister..pray 4 her to gain admission into the university,make she for carry her wahala go...remain the good wife u are to ur husband.some family member na cancerous beings. 14 Likes |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by Nobody: 10:40am On Feb 14, 2020 |
God save my brothers from pretending beches. |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by Doveyvia: 10:44am On Feb 14, 2020 |
IamD18: My sister wouldn't call me by name and she equally wouldn't sit around watching me do everything for her. 45 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by Doveyvia: 10:46am On Feb 14, 2020 |
donbachi: My husband said she'll be going to school from home, so, I'll have to put up with her for about 4 more years |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by Doveyvia: 10:47am On Feb 14, 2020 |
Bozzyironlady: Read again, this time, slowly. 7 Likes |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by Biglittlelois(f): 10:47am On Feb 14, 2020 |
Bozzyironlady: How is she a pretending beech? What happen to your assimilation tendencies? 27 Likes 1 Share |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by TrendsSecurity: 10:49am On Feb 14, 2020 |
If you're not Yoruba, you can not understand this lady's plight. Forget that the lady is not helping with house chores, you see that addressing by the first name and she can't address her by her first name cos she's 'Iya Oko' can be very painful. Imagine, a secondary school leaver o! She's so insolent. What I see is that the problem is with the husband. I can't let anyone disrespect my wife like that, it's bad 48 Likes 1 Share |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by donbachi(m): 10:50am On Feb 14, 2020 |
Doveyvia:may her boyfriend give her belle,marry her,so she go pack go join am,4rm dia dey go school..make u enjoy ur marriage ijn. 3 Likes |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by ambient: 10:50am On Feb 14, 2020 |
IamD18: Why should she tolerate another person bad home training,you left your house to come and eat and sleep in another person house without positive contribution? No sister would tolerate that abeg. 27 Likes |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by Ladylite: 10:51am On Feb 14, 2020 |
Marriage thrives by knowing what and who and when to ignore. 2 Likes |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by TrendsSecurity: 10:51am On Feb 14, 2020 |
Would her sister address her by her first name? And if it's her sister that's not helping with chores, she can send her back home and it won't create problem for her in her husbands house cos laslas it's a family affair IamD18: 21 Likes |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by jenifer007: 10:53am On Feb 14, 2020 |
Madam sorry o....I feel your pain but is your husband aware she calls you by your name |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by Skyfornia(m): 10:54am On Feb 14, 2020 |
Na waoo...drinking panadol for nothing. She called you by your name and so what? You want her to address you by another name?? I don't know why some people are bothered by this. I think it is illiteracy. That's how I addressed my client by her name and she said I should call her 'Mama Hansen' instead. Mama Hansen my foot!! 2 Likes |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by Doveyvia: 10:56am On Feb 14, 2020 |
TrendsSecurity: She's Iya Oko ,but I thought Yorubas equally respect an elder sibling's spouse? Well, my husband said other girls are ready to call her mummy just to be his wife. 2 Likes |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by Doveyvia: 10:57am On Feb 14, 2020 |
donbachi: She's unfortunately a Tomboy and I see no boyfriend coming into the picture, thank you sir. 2 Likes |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by Doveyvia: 10:58am On Feb 14, 2020 |
jenifer007: Yes, he is, she wasn't like this when I was dating her brother, she changed immediately we got married |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by donbachi(m): 11:00am On Feb 14, 2020 |
Doveyvia:well,i will advice u hand everything to GOD. |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by TrendsSecurity: 11:00am On Feb 14, 2020 |
Yeah, sure. In fact, if you're disrespecting your brother's wife, it's your brother you're actually disrespecting. Maybe, you don't get me, I was saying the thing would be more painful if you're both Yorubas and other Tribes may not understand your plight completely Doveyvia: 1 Like |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by Doveyvia: 11:02am On Feb 14, 2020 |
TrendsSecurity: I get you, thank you sir |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by TrendsSecurity: 11:02am On Feb 14, 2020 |
For your second sentence, that's why I said your husband is the problem. And trust me, you might even have a bigger problem in that marriage already that you've not known apart from this one Doveyvia: 6 Likes |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by Doveyvia: 11:02am On Feb 14, 2020 |
Skyfornia: So, it's cool I call her aunty while she doesn't reciprocate? No problem. 3 Likes |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by Nobody: 11:08am On Feb 14, 2020 |
Put your foot down. While I am a strong supporter of the traditional home where the husband rules supreme, this rule should not be misused to become oppressive. A woman has a right to feel safe in her own home and should be given every opportunity to be so. Table your grievances politely at first, then remind him of your past agreement while stressing that you might have considered permiting her stay if she was more helpful and polite, but she isn't. If after a day or two he does not formulate a satisfactory plan on which she will leave the home, then repeat it once more a week later and tell him that you will pack out until she leaves. Don't shout, don't insult and don't cry; don't go emotional and remain calm and logical at all times while not witholding food or sex etc before the deadline. He will take you seriously if he wants to remain married to you. 10 Likes |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by Mummiesgirls4(f): 11:11am On Feb 14, 2020 |
You have luck I am not that your sister in law ooo, you go report me tire be that. You people attach so much meaning to meaningless things 1 Like |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by Skyfornia(m): 11:11am On Feb 14, 2020 |
Doveyvia: What is the benefit of calling you aunty? Please I really want to know...call her aunty too 1 Like |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by jenifer007: 11:12am On Feb 14, 2020 |
Doveyvia: Na your husband cause am be that....she knows your husband gat her back.....except you are really a strong woman that's the only way you can make her respect you....you are the woman of the house any thing you don't like,make it known.....the fact that you are way older than her automatically means she must respect you.....I am also Yoruba and I have never called any of my uncles' wives or my older cousins' wives by name. Don't bottle up cos it might lead to hypertension...be guided 6 Likes |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by Doveyvia: 11:12am On Feb 14, 2020 |
Mummiesgirls4: I'm lucky someone I'm 7yrs older than is calling me by my first name? Be sure your fingers aligns with your brain before quoting me. Ciao little brat . 23 Likes 1 Share |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by ResidentSlut(f): 11:13am On Feb 14, 2020 |
Why can’t people be called by their own names? How’s your name disrespectful to you? I’ve never understood that. The more serious problem is to figure out when she’s leaving. Prolonged visitors that you didn’t agree to their stay can become very physically draining with time. She needs to leave. if not now, there should be a plan for why she’s still there and when she’s going to leave. 1 Like |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by ResidentSlut(f): 11:14am On Feb 14, 2020 |
Doveyvia: But she’s not your aunty is she? Am I missing something? 1 Like |
Re: What Should I Do About My In Law by Doveyvia: 11:14am On Feb 14, 2020 |
jenifer007: Thanks ma'am , it's just all very weird to me, I don't feel comfortable calling her by name but I'll have to learn it?. |
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