uruba23:
I think someone told you men do hustle...

so the women who look after these patients are jobless?

funmisticqueen2:
you are the exception to the rule.

Not anymore. I now follow the rules. Each has his/her role. It happened once. Never again.

funmisticqueen2:
so the women who look after these patients are jobless?

They may not be, but their jobs are usually more dispensabke/flexible. If a man comes to tell me that he wants a day off to look after a sick child, I will just be looking like "why? Where is your wife?".

funmisticqueen2:
so the women who look after these patients are jobless?

Majority have their personal business

dominique:
There's an element of truth in the write up though not all men are like that. I was admitted early this year, the lady I shared a ward with had a miscarriage and appendicitis surgery. It was her elser sister by her side throughout the time I was there. I only got to see her husband on the day I got discharged which was the 3rd day I spent there. That aside, I've seen countless men stay by their wives side when ill but the number is considerably lower than women who put their lives on hold to nurse their husbands to health

hope you are doing better now?

uruba23:
Majority have their personal business

lol.

One case was a houseofficer in the hospital we worked. Her consultant was empathetic which is rare because the man is a terrorist. Her husband had a kidney stone. And the way things sounded, she was the breadwinner as the man's business hasn't been doing well for a few years.

RisenPhoenix:


Not anymore. I now follow the rules. Each has his/her role. It happened once. Never again.



They may not be, but their jobs are usually more dispensabke/flexible. If a man comes to tell me that he wants a day off to look after a sick child, I will just be looking like "why? Where is your wife?".

why not anymore?

Aren't you her father, if your wife falls sick who will care for her.

The ones that annoy me the most are the absentee husbands of women in labor. That's why I can never marry someone from the armed forces

funmisticqueen2:
lol.

One case was a houseofficer in the hospital we worked. Her oga was empathetic. The man had a kidney stone. And the way things sounded, she was the breadwinner as the man's business hasn't been doing well for a few years.

Well she louded it...Else you won't have hear meanwhile the man must have been enduring a lot taking care of his family quietly..

uruba23:

Well she louded it...Else you won't have hear meanwhile the man must have been enduring a lot taking care of his family quietly..

not really. Babe is kinda quiet. I heard this gist from the husband's elder sister who was my friend.

[s]

FrLukas:
You don't know where the thread is going?

I think you do.

I think we all do.

This thread = men are evil/men are scum.

[/s]

funmisticqueen2:
not really. Babe is kinda quiet. I heard this gist from the husband's elder sister who was my friend.

Okay o Enjoy

RisenPhoenix:


It is you doctors that will target the man to be sending upandan. "Go and bring blood", " go and pay for test", "go and find money for operation", "go and buy drug". I've been to hospitals you know.



Exclusive sex is what I meant. Sex with prostitutes is anything but exclusive.



Those vows were probably written by women. Most men just utter them without attention. Trust me, at that point in time, all men wish they had a fast forward button. We just repeat what we are told to repeat while mentally scheduling the different styles that we will utilise that night. So we can truthfully say that those vows were taken in a state of unconsciousness/under duress.

we Target who is available. And it is mostly women I send. But I do sometimes have pity on the elderly female caregivers and help them with tests only the first time.

I've learned my lesson not to run around for patients.

funmisticqueen2:
Back in the day when I used to date, my ex came to my house straight from the hospital looking really depressed. He said all the male patients he attended to had their female relative taking care of them. Could be their wife, mother, sister, daughter or inlaw. Whereas all the female patients had not one single male relative.

He said there were elderly patients who had been at the hospital for months and for one day, their sons never visited. Their daughters would raise money and still alternate the nursing duties.

Daughter one will stay one month. Daughter 2 will stay the next. Daughter 3 will stay. And so on.

All the sons do is call on phone. That's all. Not one visit. Yet the sons are always listed as next of kin.

Interestingly, most of these women were married and had jobs in faraway cities. Some had to give up their jobs, some had to take leave, while some had to ask to be transferred just so they could take care of their parents. Some of them actually go to work from there.

He ended it by saying he wanted girls. That didn't sit right with me because it seemed he wanted girls as potential caregivers and nothing more. But since I knew I wasn't going to be the mother of those bedside daughters, I kept my thoughts to myself.

Apart from the stats he pulled from the hospital, I noticed same trend in our society.

Husband is sick. Wife cares for him. Carries him everywhere. Does everything for him. Stays with him at the hospital. Gets a loan to use and blablabla.

Wife is sick. Wife's relatives come to take care of her. Wife's relatives carry her everywhere. Wife's relatives do everything for her. Wife's relatives stay with her at the hospital. Wife's relatives get a loan to use and blablabla. Husband starts cheating to relieve the "stress" of his wife's sickness.

I thought this was a Nigerian/African thing, but it is not. It is a universal thing.

In the western world, only 3% of wives leave their husbands when they are ill. But among women, about 21% of husbands leave their wives after they became ill. The men leave within 6 months of the diagnosis. This one is not from the bureau of inverifiable facts. This was from a detailed research that studied men and women and their fight or flight reactions to spousal illhealth.

I don't know where I'm going with this but I just wanted to remind you, woman, to put yourself first.

When shit hits the fan, you are all you've got.

These men ain't loyal!!

Copied

Women should marry men who really love and care for them.

Women should stop putting pressure on one another to be the primary caregiver.

Women should stop letting men get away with only providing.

Women should stop acting like their husbands are inept in child care. Might not be your way, however realize he also loves and is invested in the child.

RisenPhoenix:


Not anymore. I now follow the rules. Each has his/her role. It happened once. Never again.



They may not be, but their jobs are usually more dispensabke/flexible. If a man comes to tell me that he wants a day off to look after a sick child, I will just be looking like "why? Where is your wife?".

@bold:

How sad.

Instead of countering OP with facts, they resort to name calling and gas lighting.

bukatyne:


Women should marry men who really love and care for them.

Women should stop putting pressure on one another to be the primary caregiver.

Women should stop letting men get away to only providing.

Women should stop acting like their husbands are inept in child care. Might not be your way, however realize he also loves and is invested in the child.

true

funmisticqueen2:
hope you are doing better now?

Much better, thanks

funmisticqueen2:
I am a lady, not a piece of paper with current affairs.

What you are doing is wrong. Is this what you will call your wife, mother, sister or female friend?

This girl, you don de act mature oo.

RisenPhoenix:


You can't work and nurse at the same time. I have alternated with my wife to stay with a sick child for a week. It was terrible because my wife just left her work entirely so she could sleep during the day, while I still had a business to run in the daytime and still stay awake at night. I was sometimes going for 48 hours without sleep with a few hours sometimes in between. In the end I left it to her and her then yet to be married sister.

At least I tried. Lol.

At least you agreed to look after a sick person. Most men won't, leaving the sick child all to the woman.

The post isn't about calling men trash but that they can do better. When someone is seriously sick, sometimes the best healing they can get is the support system. If the husband or son is always out hustling for hospital bills, and the person feels abandoned or neglected, chance of recovery might be drastically reduced.

No one is saying don't hustle for money but make out more time to be there with the person when they are sick.

Davash222:
Daughters are to stay with their parents at the hospital while the sons go and hustle money for hospital bills. If everyone stay at the hospital, how will they pay for bills?

It's time you girls drop this una nonsense feminism that is making you girls look and act like dummies.

It's not about feminism. It's about caring.

In a situation whereby the parents only had sons, do you know they'll feel more loved when they are sick if their sons visit more often than with their daughter in-laws always present?

See, people that are seriously sick recover better when they have great support system from close family member be it husband or son. No one is saying don't hustle, but endeavour to take out quality time and spend it with that person. From sickness may result death, let their last moments on earth be spent with a busy man whom they know loves and cares deeply about them.

RisenPhoenix:
The men are hustling to pay for the hospital fees. If they come and sit down with the daughters and the wives where will the money to pay come from?

Also, men marry for sex. If a wife is unhealthy and not up for sex, what is the point of remaining in the marriage? But a woman with a sick husband will stick around for the upcoming inheritance.

What a thing to say! So crude!

funmisticqueen2:


He said there were elderly patients who had been at the hospital for months and for one day, their sons never visited. Their daughters would raise money and still alternate the nursing duties.

Daughter one will stay one month. Daughter 2 will stay the next. Daughter 3 will stay. And so on.


All the sons do is call on phone. That's all. Not one visit. Yet the sons are always listed as next of kin.

Interestingly, most of these women were married and had jobs in faraway cities. Some had to give up their jobs, some had to take leave, while some had to ask to be transferred just so they could take care of their parents. Some of them actually go to work from there.

You want the head of the house to give up his job so the woman can takeover the bills and nag the man to death?

Well, it would interest you to know that women are the same reasons men can't abandon their jobs and travel faraway to take care of their parents. A woman would give the man ten thousand and one reasons to stay back and take care of his immediate family. She would remind him of God's 11 commandments, with the eleventh being "for this reason shall a man leave his father and mother and cling to his wife".

The point is no woman on earth would encourage her husband ( and a good provider ) to abandon his job to take care of his parents. A lot of men won't do it out of fear of losing their worth (financial) in the home.

Meanwhile, when a woman tells you she's resigning from work, be rest assured she's got a good a solid provider (a man). When a woman is doing so much to take care of her aged parents, to the extent she's considered resignation, then you should commend the man in her life.

About listing men as next of kin, it's even wrong to list any child as next of kin when you have a responsible spouse. This is one of the important discussions you should have with your partner before marriage.

Acidosis:


You want the head of the house to give up his job so the woman can takeover the bills and nag the man to death?

Well, it would interest you to know that women are the same reasons men can't abandon their jobs and travel faraway to take care of their parents. A woman would give the man ten thousand and one reasons to stay back and take care of his immediate family. She would remind him of God's 11 commandments, with the eleventh being "for this reason shall a man leave his father and mother and cling to his wife".

The point is no woman on earth would encourage her husband ( and a good provider ) to abandon his job to take care of his parents. A lot of men won't do it out of fear of losing their worth (financial) in the home.

Meanwhile, when a woman tells you she's resigning from work, be rest assured she's got a good a solid provider (a man). When a woman is doing so much to take care of her aged parents, to the extent she's considered resignation, then you should commend the man in her life.

About listing men as the next of kin, it's even wrong to list any child as next of kin when you have a responsible spouse. This is one of the important discussions you should have with your partner before marriage.

what of single men then, they are just as bad. What excuse do you have for them

Acidosis:

You want the head of the house to give up his job so the woman can takeover the bills and nag the man to death?

Well, it would interest you to know that women are the same reasons men can't abandon their jobs and travel faraway to take care of their parents. A woman would give the man ten thousand and one reasons to stay back and take care of his immediate family. She would remind him of God's 11 commandments, with the eleventh being "for this reason shall a man leave his father and mother and cling to his wife".

The point is no woman on earth would encourage her husband ( and a good provider ) to abandon his job to take care of his parents. A lot of men won't do it out of fear of losing their worth (financial) in the home.

I hear this one loud...very loud

Anyone who takes anything most of these women say serious will just jam rock.

Today, men should put their wives and immediate family first. Tomorrow, one smallie is trying to be smart-by-half and implying the same man should leave his wife and kids to go stay at the hospital with his sick parent(s).

funmisticqueen2:
what of single men then, they are just as bad. What excuse do you have for them

While women are by nature better caregiver, we can't conclude that single men abandon their parents. By the time the parents are aged and inactive, majority (both men and women) in the family already are married.

Let's not forget the fact that it is the same women that resist the idea of entertaining relatives. Usually when the man wants to invite his aged parents to the house, most wives are never comfortable. But when it comes to theirs (like we are discussing on this thread), they're willing to give up their master bedroom.

You can't justify this trend/thread by ignoring the obvious fact that women are selfish.

crackkhaus:

I hear this one loud...very loud

Anyone who takes anything most of these women say serious will just jam rock.

Today, men should put their wives and immediate family first. Tomorrow, one smallie is trying to be smart-by-half and implying the same men should leave his wife and kids to go stay at the hospital with his sick parent(s).

Na so brother.


The world must revolve around them for us to have peace.

funmisticqueen2:
what of single men then, they are just as bad. What excuse do you have for them

You did not think your OP through.

When you see everything through a lens of men's behaviour versus women's behaviour, you become completely blinded to nuances...which is a big problem for most of you - one dimensional thinking.

If you want an answer to this question, simply go back to your aged patients and ask them if they have any unmarried sons, their locations, before sitting down to form silly assumptions in your head.

As for those young female patients who are married but you hardly see their husbands, ask the patients directly why their husbands are not always by their sides.
They are the ones to give you reasons, not you jumping up and down looking for what isn't there.

Acidosis:

Na so brother.


The world must revolve around them for us to have peace.

Like babies...

Thank goodness I have the peace of the Lord with me.

Copied from where?

The immutable reality is that biologically women are predisposed to nuturing while men are providers. In all almost all species of living things the females nurture while males hunt, except for a few cases like lions and even at that lions defend and protect their territory and pride while the lionesses nurture their young and feed the alpha male lion.

We can try to analyse and nitpick at why women seem more caring than men, but the fact remains that that is how we have been designed.

Argue with Nature...and your keypad.

Look at them arguing fervently that men are supposed to provide.
If tomorrow a woman starts a topic to say men must provide they will get angry and start shouting what are you bringing to the table?
Mtshew

As for the topic everyone should take time out to visit and car for loved ones whether you are the so called provider or not, even if it's only during weekends. Some men don't even bother to show face at sick beds, only making foolish long distance calls or looking for how to chase side chicks because the wife is finally sick and cannot stop them.

Ishilove:
Copied from where?

The immutable reality is that biologically women are predisposed to nuturing while men are providers. In all almost all species of living things the females nurture while males hunt, except for a few cases like lions and even at that lions defend and protect their territory and pride while the lionesses nurture their young and feed the alpha male lion.

We can try to analyse and nitpick at why women seem more caring than men, but the fact remains that that is how we have been designed.

Argue with Nature...and your keypad.

Lmao...

The thing is, even in situations where a male is present with the sick person at the hospital...it's still those nurses and ward orderlies that will be observing him in a funny way

In Nigerian hospitals where ward orderlies don't like to get their hands dirty, it's the family member who does the cleaning, washing used sheets/clothes, and bathing the sick person. And the hospital staff prefers when it's a female...

This one will just come online and be typing whatever she likes and some people will be busy nodding head like agama lizard.

I grew up in and around hospitals following my mom to work and playing in the hallways (one time even spying in to witness a woman give birth), it's even the nurses that tell any male that has stayed too long to go and look for money to settle bills, or go to the pharmacy, or go get this/that...anything to get them out of sight.

CHoccolaTE:
Look at them arguing fervently that men are supposed to provide.
If tomorrow a woman starts a topic to say men must provide they will get angry and start shouting what are you bringing to the table?
Mtshew

As for the topic everyone should take time out to visit and car for loved ones whether you are the so called provider or not, even if it's only during weekends. Some men don't even bother to show face at sick beds, only making foolish long distance calls or looking for how to chase side chicks because the wife is finally sick and cannot stop them.

we wont agree with you because we aren,t in love with you.