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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us (95200 Views)
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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Vyvyanvyvy: 10:45pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
LadySarah:Thanks my dear my children comes first too no matter what . I taught getting married will bring more happiness for us but since things are not working according to plans, it’s better for me to protect my children 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Vyvyanvyvy: 10:46pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
Topleague:Thank you my brother you are a true man 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by eyinjuege: 10:51pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy: Put him in a private boarding school immediately, and find a way to sort out where he will be staying during the holidays and half term 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by jelel6: 10:57pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
Please, for all the guys here who are apparently sympathetic to the Husband, I have a question for you... How can a man marry a mother of two little kids who are not adults yet and NEEDS TO stay with their mom, would be so ungentlemanly after marriage to request a boy of 12 years begins looking for a relative to stay with whilst his mother is alive, well and capable to look after them? I'm sure the woman lived with her son and daughter before the husband met them, why marry the mother only to push her son away? Why ask a woman to push her son away because of you? Things took a hit financially, so you agree with the mother to take the boy to relatives pending improve conditions. Afterwards, the reasonable thing to do is to ask the boy back as soon as things improved. Common! How can a man feel OKAY when his "marriage" separates his wife and her son? If a husband CANNOT accept the children of his wife as his partial responsibility due to marriage, how can he then expect any relative whatsoever, to accept the children? Who can be closer to a child than a mom and a step-father? Original poster @Vyvyanvyvy, if you were my sister, I'd be baffled as to why you'd marry a man who would refuse to allow a small boy stay with you guys. He cannot stay alone. Your husband's excuse that he will influence the girls negatively is simply some fake bullshiit I'd expect from an unthoughtful person. If that boy were his, do you think he'll send him off to his own brother and leave him there because he's supposedly stealing #100 and biscuits? No! He'll never give up on his OWN CHILD. His own child will never run out of chances. Besides, a 12 year old boy stealing is NOTHING NEW. Majority of boys did worse growing up. I Stole moms stuff too when I was younger. Majority of the guys or girls, men and women you see commenting here STOLE THINGS if they will be honest with you. But now is the time to straighten your son out. But you can only be sure the best training can be giving if he's with you. In my short time existing, I've felt real pains when I see how some people treat their relatives who are not part of the immediate family. I'd be honest to say I myself will not be keen to take in a relative who's not immediate nuclear family, that's the heart. But if I do (which is possible in all ramifications), I'm SURE I'll be Fair and just with them. So you'd understand me when I say I'll NEVER MARRY a woman who can't be fair with my wards. Even if she brought home that said relative, She must be fair and kind to them. And I'm ready to divorce them one after the other if need be. Reason with your husband with respect and understanding. If he's still adamant, say your brother threatened to throw your son out so you have no other options than to go and bring him with you. If he's still insisting that NEVER means NEVER, I think you can be rest assured he's laying down the ultimate ultimatum, in no uncertain terms: Son or Hubby? Choose! 31 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by worworbabe: 10:58pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
movement2020: Why will she hand her son over to anybody. It appears like aliens and not humans are typing on this thread. 14 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by eyinjuege: 11:08pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
rain21: Very complicated |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by eyinjuege: 11:20pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
Human beings sha. So quick to call a 12 year old boy a molester of younger children, but closing their eyes to the possibility of the husband being a pedophile eyeing his step daughter. Why would you think a young boy would molest his sister? And people saying he's a thief. What has he stolen? I'm almost 100%sure that majority of those labelling the child a thief also stole from their mother's purse at that age 19 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by jelel6: 11:24pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
worworbabe: I'm really baffled too. Guys or suppose real men talking like a 12 year old boy is some THING to ship off to anyone who would take him! I almost couldn't believe it reading the first few pages of opinions, mostly from guys. You can never know a person until you understand their thoughts process. And everyone's thought process basically classify them as thoughtful or unthoughtful. I'd easily classify every commenter here into one of those two groups. 18 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 11:32pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy: then do it this is probably why the first man run away, you women nag a lot, give that man a breathing space or watch him ran away like the first one, we don't want too much liabilities, we need rest of mind, stop nagging him. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 11:44pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
It shouldn't be a big deal nah.Couples like this should agree on how they should live and co-parent before and later after marriage. I knew a couple from work who the woman never wants to see his son.She prefers they send money to the boy's grandmom for upkeep and comes to their house like a guest and stay maybe 3days and leave.The man has had no problems with it even long after marriage til now.I think the boy should be 7yrs or 8yrs now.So my point is aint u people very strange.I'm sure it happens alot with Step mom's but it's not an issh.I think,Kids are so lucky only a few men would cut out their step kids this days or don't dad's need to live together with their growing kids jelel6:?? 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by BennyDGreat: 11:46pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
You seriously need wise counsel on this matter. Too many lives at stake. Too many angles to this matter. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by sweetdude001(m): 11:56pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
sapoyoro:I don't knw where I insinuated that she should leave her child... I will ignore the insult coz I don't have to come to your level. 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by nnamdibig(m): 12:05am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Alot of people are just quick to blame the man. If the man accepts the boy and many years to come the useless guy comes back to take his biological son, lots of you here will still yab the man why him no born him own son. It's already a complicated issue and should be handled carefully. Madam OP born 2 pikin with a guy she can't have access to his relatives and you are blaming a man that is probably scared of allowing a 12yr old boy(who is stealing) to come be bad influence to his daughter? That stealing alone might be the reason the man changed his mind. OP forget all these divorce them they tell you here and speak to your husband. While doing that, you must locate your babypapa relatives so they come take care of their own. no be when the boy grow finish now them go come claim am. Find out why your man changed his mind about accepting your son(that did not just happen, something caused it). This is not a we and them fight, it's your reality handle it carefully. Again reduce the way you born pikin until you are stable. 4 children is enough for now. Non of the people telling you to divorce your husband can handle a house help that is stealing(they normally send them to their parents.... including relatives that are stealing) 12 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by sweetdude001(m): 12:09am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy:Ur huSband is not a bad man, its apparent u Neva loved him u jus wanted someone that d marry u in d first, u r saying son, ur son, watching out for ur own which u do av a right to, he also as a right to watch out for is daughter too, ur son is more important to u, his daughter is more important to him too, in life always put ursef in peoples opinion before u judge, u cant abandon ur son but stop acting like ur husband does not have the right to have some reservation... To be honest d situation he is is not a very pleasant 1, I am sure had it been d boy stayed wit u from d onset he d not av a p... Stop thinking abt u, think about his feelings too, as a woman u wnt accept dis if reverse was d case, if u did u d make d childs life hell jus like ur brothers wife... That's d nature of u women. 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Smile4mee01: 12:17am On Mar 13, 2020 |
@ Guys : Learn from this. Never , ever agree to marrying a single mother. There is a reason why Male Lins kill cubs before they take over territories. Its not emotions, its logic for your own good. My 2 cents# 23 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by jelel6: 12:25am On Mar 13, 2020 |
culturedboss: It could work for some people I'm sure. I can't understand those who would change their minds on something as important as this afterwards. If the kid is all grown up. Like 18-20 and Happy to stay alone, maybe. But I'm not personally going to say my own son or daughter should live elsewhere simply because of marriage. NEVER. If my future wife agrees then later changes her mind on something like that thinking she's married now and I'm boxed, she's dreaming. Divorce is allowed for me and I intend to use it as much as needed. My happiness is not really tied to anything talkless of woman. Happiness is a choice and state of mind for me. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 1:14am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy:Well I would advise your brother to bring him home ....while you technically distract your husband with love by cooking his best meal and prepare your son his best meal and let him know his daughter's half brother is coming to stay with his half sister .......by the way you know if you want to find your sons father you can put his name or picture on nairaland...I hope he is aware he has a son to start with. |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 1:21am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Belafonte:Yimu be doing as if you didn't steal when you are twelve. 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Godsfavour78: 2:16am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Oyindidi:which game madam. Oya confess ![]() 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Godsfavour78: 2:33am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy:so you pay the rent your husband better have 1000 good reasons for keeping your son from the house. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by realtalk19: 6:11am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy: It is well with you. God will surely see you through 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by femi4: 6:18am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy:The problem is your boy. He's such a bad influence. Your hubby didn't have problem with your girl living with you. Until the boy stop behaving irresponsibly like his father, he has no biz in the house. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by worworbabe: 6:28am On Mar 13, 2020 |
jelel6: It sure is baffling. I have heard of men's jealousy and it shows itself on their opinion on this thread. He has a problem with the boy being from another man. If it was his own son misbehaving, would he send him out of the house? I am glad that the woman made the right choice already. Once he starts to get his mother's care and love, he will behave better. 6 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by crackkhaus: 6:41am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy:Good idea... please update the thread when you have done this. Get a divorce lawyer while at it too, please. 8 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by crackkhaus: 6:48am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Sixfeetbelle:I don't even understand all this your plenty talk or the others writing epistles on the thread. The matter is quite straightforward - if her husband won't accept, she's left with two choices: She can either go on her knees and plead with him until he changes his mind, or if this is too degrading on her person, she can end the marriage to have all her kids under one roof. It's not rocket science. 16 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by sisisioge: 6:58am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Hmmmm...my opinion is quite different. Your brother really tried for helping you house and raise him all along, its really not an easy task especially since he's such a handful. Why not just have the talk again with hubby, let him know its not a permanent arrangement and help him understand why it's really important to help him grow into a good young man, bring the boy home to integrate him into his loving family, counsel him like never before about his behaviour and how it affects the people around him ( at least he would know you love him and have your(his) family's support) then find him a good boarding school. He would be in school during school terms and at home with you and your family during the holidays. I just feel you should create a sort of win-win here. Remember, your daughters already love your husband as their father, breaking that bond may be bad for them too. It is well, you should have brought the boy to live with you from the beginning regardless of the size of your space. Good luck. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by movement2020: 7:02am On Mar 13, 2020 |
worworbabe: Anybody.. Check the meaning. The boy still has a father but the wife has lost contact. So, giving the boy to the father's siblings is termed anyone. What about if the father is late and the family decides to take the boy so as to see their late child's face. Your use of words if really wrong. 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Vyvyanvyvy: 7:24am On Mar 13, 2020 |
realtalk19:Amen thanks 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 7:52am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Go get your son and bring him home. He needs your love, care and attention. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by chudyprince: 7:57am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Oyindidi:why is the son not with his own biological father |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Vyvyanvyvy: 8:04am On Mar 13, 2020 |
OceanOfJoy:Thanks am going to pick him up on Sunday 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Oyindidi(f): 8:07am On Mar 13, 2020 |
chudyprince:The father is not in Nigeria 4 Likes |
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