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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us (94871 Views)
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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by generalwo(m): 10:34am On Mar 13, 2020 |
It's a difficult situation and only God can intervene.... I can understand why the man doesn't want the child... Like you said.... He doesn't want the boy to be a bad influence on his kids which is totally understandable but on the other hand.... He's a man... The alpha in the home.... I am sure if he brings the boy in.... He can tame his excesses.... Unless the boy has gotten out of hand which I am suspecting is the case..... In between..... Your family rejecting your child speaks alot..... Do not blame anyone... Try your best to see how you can resolve this without having issues with anyone..... Also, this is the time you need to go down on your knees to pray to God.... Stealing is not a good habit at all and can lead a child to do so many evil things.... Keep pleading with your husband.... Give him assurances that you will keep your boy on a leash and that he won't influence your other kids negatively.... Not talking to your husband because of this will not help issues... It will only paint you as a bad wife before your husband.... Trust me on this. Beg him and pray 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Oluwaseun2020(m): 10:35am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Abeg help man o.... thanks 2007919121 zenith bank God help you in turn ![]() |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by safarigirl1(f): 10:36am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Davash222: |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Olatara(f): 10:36am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Oyindidi:Maybe you are talking to the man. You can never tell. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Spartacus01: 10:36am On Mar 13, 2020 |
It's sad that your son has started stealing but I believe with time and correction, he will change for good. I can't blame your husband if he doesn't want the boy around him and his own kids. After all he is already accommodating your daughter. Kudos to him for that. Why not look for a very good boarding school to put your son? That should solve the accommodation issue as well as school. You will have to check up on him from time to time. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Blixon: 10:36am On Mar 13, 2020 |
yvelchstores:Apart from what you put in CAPS, I think the husband is just scared for his 2 year old daughter and unborn baby. Most men I know don't marry single mothers who have boys. Girls can be managed as they marry off to another family at some point. A problem boy is a huge problem on any family for life. There are severe consequences later on of keeping them at home especially if you later have your own kids as a man, the man won't be home 24/7 to monitor how the boy gets on with his kids, there are issues of older male kids especially compromised ones like ops son, sexually molesting their younger half sisters even half brothers, also teaching the young boys to become thieves or wayward is a potential risk. Not to mention the potential for the boy to grow up and start competing for his step dad's property with his biological kids, or even his real father showing up later on if the boy grows to be successful and the step dad loses everything. The issues are too many to deal with. 7 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by dominique(f): 10:36am On Mar 13, 2020 |
My kids over marriage anytime any day, it's not even a topic open for negotiation. Oyindidi: Don't mind them. The moment a woman posts "I pay bills" or something like that, they start vibrating 8 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 10:37am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy:Can we talk via pm? But u shud relax ooo, ur quick decisions may ruin u.... Pls chill 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by drololaaof: 10:38am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Yours is not the only case ,some men will promise heaven and earth before marrying you but afterwards they will change gear I don't know what happen to their father,but you ought to keep your self and take care of this children they are precious than this useless husband you went to marry . Keep your toto now it is not compulsory you eat the dick 5 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Raalsalghul: 10:38am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Smile4mee01: Preach! 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by tiwiex(m): 10:38am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Shifi1: That's the annoying thing about single mothers. The whole world owes them something but they dare not bring the baby daddy into it. He has contained their madness, they are even scared to mention is name. Na the man wey marry her with two kids be d mumu. He really tried sha. That's a huge red flag for anyone. The complications are just unnecessary and should be avoided. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by giftedben: 10:38am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy: Madam it is not easy but if you are financially ok, I think it is time to make or break with your husband. My best advice to you is to make him understand that you can't sleep knowing fully well your child have no place to stay. He is their Step father and as such, have taken responsibility to see your children come off age. If he does not see reasoning with you, then he has betrayed your trust towards him and when you don't trust someone, why stay married to that person?!. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Vyvyanvyvy: 10:39am On Mar 13, 2020 |
oglalasioux:Thanks you so much I really appreciate your advice . You are a true man 10 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by israel90: 10:39am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Since you have something doing rent one room for him let him stay there. |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Doggeddized(f): 10:39am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Davash222: |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by airminem(f): 10:39am On Mar 13, 2020 |
I hope your children are getting education/skills/handwork atleast, with or without being taken in by your husband. Nigeria isnt easy, but try and take care of those children by providing and giving them attention. It isnt any of your husband's fault from my opinion. Its what inequality society offer to Us daily.. Be strong and honest. |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by chopmymoney(f): 10:39am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Take him to a boarding school while you keep appealing to your husband. Not talking to him or been moody towards him won't do you any good. 3 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 10:40am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy:I don't understand why you are here on this forum. You already have a strong resolution why exactly are you here? You'd rather be a single mother with your children, so why have you not rented an apartment already? You want people to tell you what to do but you already made up your mind. Rent an apartment and move in with your children, make it clear to your husband that you will not be separated from your children if he wants you he has to accept your children as was agreed. Stop allowing single bitter girls insult your husband 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by decision01: 10:40am On Mar 13, 2020 |
janvier27:This is the best advice this yr...Your children first...Nothing else matters.. God bless u. 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 10:40am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy: Bring that boy into your house, it is YOU dt brought him to this world & he's an innocent child. If it breaks your marriage so be it. But do not be confrontational with your husband. Just keep begging him & let him know the boy was sent into the streets. Beg ur in-laws too, tell them to beg him. Tell his pastor too. And be extra sweet to ur husband too, be affectionate & show some extra care. Don't just tell him wt an attitude because ur the breadwinner. Be wise. Remember u have his own children ur also bringing into the world & he can decide to make ur life miserable. Your son already has emotional abandonment issues dt can destroy his future. You have to be a mother to him now dt he needs you. It's your duty. PS - do not send him to boarding school yet. He already has pain and is easy recruitment for bad gang, because he's looking for acceptance. Let him stay under you. Show him love & teach him discipline, guide him spiritually. You can send him to boarding school in later years. 6 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by KIDfurniture(m): 10:41am On Mar 13, 2020 |
2 not even 1.. lol. Nigerian women are evil.. they re selfish and lazy. Wait were u married to the fathers of the kids or u just dey enjoy unprotected sex. Baba werey la won obiri naija... Vyvyanvyvy: 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by innobarca(m): 10:41am On Mar 13, 2020 |
You had kids with a man and his friends and family does not know?you also do not want to find his relatives? In Nigeria? I do not want to believe that. Some women be forming smartness but when it is time to be smart, they will fail woefully. Single mothers that are capable of taking care of their kids do not send them to live with relatives... From what I have seen around. You foot 70% of the bills but you can't send your child to a good boarding school? Or you are just talking bla bla bla. Finally.... Nobody failed you, take full responsibility of your mistakes. Your relatives has tried for you in taking care of your child, its difficult to handle a stubborn child, very difficult. The child has a father, the father has relatives. I pay this, I pay that..... You don't need to say all that. Who knows maybe you will also leave your current husband soon, Later move to the 3rd man. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by JayPeeOham: 10:41am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy: Observations: Have you thought of the fact that quitting your present marriage will leave you with 4 kids who have no "Father"?? Besides, quitting a marriage is not as easy as quitting a relationship. Plus, you make it seem like it's your husband's obligation to house another man's child when the "other man" is still very much alive and can come claim his Son anytime any day. It's his choice to make, however, you can influence his choice to your favor as a woman! Suggestions/Advice: >Don't quit your marriage as it will only make your children more vulnerable in the long run >You need your husband to understand you and you can't achieve that by not talking to him. Massage his ego by using your woman charm, every man has a soft spot that can only be accessed by one woman who knows the way to that spot. And you're his wife here so you should know your husband's soft spot ![]() >Send your child to a boarding school in the interim since you have the funds like you said >Do not under estimate the power of prayers. Take it all to the Lord's feet by going on your knees. This is key! Lastly talking about your son and stealing, no offense, but truth be told, there is no justification for someone being a criminal!....just like there's no excuse for failure. Look at it this way, will you see reasons with your husband raping another woman because you the wife starved him of sex ![]() ![]() ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by IMASTEX: 10:41am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Davash222:Don't mind her. She isn't seeing the negative influence the boy might bring along which will now become the full responsibility of the husband to curtain to avoid polluting the other children. I know someone who the father & mother are willing to pay anything just to have the guy leave at a distance from them. Someone in his thirties. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by cr7lomo: 10:42am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Women and selfishness are 5 and 6....look at the way they are condemning a man that did her a favour ( a true fact) ... Y are most women this dumb... How can u get pregnant for a man that u know nothing of his family TWICE!! Oh my ...that alone shows how weak mentally that woman is ..... Those saying he agreed initially but declined after marriage... So if u wanna by a car , after agreeing to pay , u find out that particular car is a post salvage vehicle , will u still buy it , knowing fully well that u don't want previously salvaged vehicles... Will u now force the person to buy it ?? Her siblings that are even blood rejected the boy , but u want a stranger just because he is husband to accept him ... A criminal in the making , so that he will come and destroy his own children... Men , pls b careful with women... They are very selfish and unreasonable beings 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by KIDfurniture(m): 10:42am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Make the man just rent house for u and ur kids abeg. 2 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Sirk2018: 10:42am On Mar 13, 2020 |
The boy is already in secondary school I suppose. Take him to a boarding school pls. |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Sweetiliscious(f): 10:43am On Mar 13, 2020 |
movement2020: ![]() 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 10:43am On Mar 13, 2020 |
[quote author=Oyindidi post=87392189] Which can stingy man be this? My sister follow your heart, it seems you're not enjoying your marriage. Test water before you dive inside, this man no be here o[/qu Which this kind of comment from u, u be mumu... She-diot Ahn ahn... How can he be best of friends and not buy her anytin at all at all.. I think the Op is lying one side one side.... But the greatest thing is love of which the man gave to her her daughter 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Sixfeetbelle: 10:43am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Mymynd4u: He initially agreed to the two. Why change his mind now? Explain that. Accept a child out of gesture? What kind of charitable work is that? No child deserves being treated as an extra load that must be carried. See, I'm even having this suspicion about the man now. I want to believe his family and friends are making jest of him taking care of another man's child, and he's beginning to renegade on his promise to prove he's 'still a man'. If that's the issue here, divorce is the best case scenario. 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by MadeMan01(m): 10:44am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy: Marrying a woman with kids from another man is a bold thing with numerous potential for disappointment. 1. Blood is thicker than water. A man will spend all resources money, emotional to raise another man kids, and when they become adults, they go and look for their biological dad 2. The mother of the kids will grow wings and be emotionally blackmailing you to accept kids of hers with another man who refused the kid In this case, the woman's own siblings are having issue controlling and accepting her son and she is trying to blame her hubby. 3 . I understand the woman is in a tight space after all all the kids came from her womb. But you cannot force a man to take on that responsibility if he doesn't do it willingly. 4. The man tried to marry a woman with two previous kids. I praise him. I can't do it. I recommend this only if the man has kids from his own earlier relationship or marriage. 5. Finally, only if they are financially buoyant to accommodate . If care is not taken, this woman will gain her child and lose her husband 4 Likes |
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by bongo4real(m): 10:44am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Vyvyanvyvy: Consider sending him to boarding school until he is done with college. Bringing him to the house will cause more troubles in your home. I suggest you consider sending him to boarding school so that you can plan the next options. |
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