Vyvyanvyvy:

He will be 12 years in August , my daughter is 6 years, I have one daughter for my husband she is 2 years and I’m pregnant with another one. Their father is not in Nigeria and I don’t have his contact or his siblings. Yes I have a grocery shop I foot 70% bills in my house

Lol...you got married to someone and you don't know their family house....are you sure you even married that person

You don't have anything to say. She is the mother. The man knew what he was getting into.

Davash222:
Your siblings that are your relatives doesn't want the boy but you want your husband that is not your relative to accept the boy
You should learn to attend to your responsibilities and mistakes. Don't drag your mistakes to that innocent man. He has done more than enough for you.

Marrying a Nigerian girl with two children(not even one) is not what every man can do. That man deserves peace and respect from you.

Vyvyanvyvy:
I had 2 children. When I got married, my husband had none and accepted them like his own children.

Before marriage, we had discussed about the children living with us after marriage but that couldn’t be possible anymore because we were having financial problem so we couldn’t afford to move to a bigger apartment. We were staying in a room self contain with my daughter while my son was staying with my elder brother and his wife.

Now three years after we had moved to a bigger house still my husband doesn’t want my son to come and live with us. At the moment my son is going through hard times. My sister in law has been maltreating him to an extent that he has been stealing, he was caught and beaten like an animal. My brother said he doesn’t want him in his house again. He wants me to come and collect him.

I pleaded with my husband for me to bring him with us but he said no, he should stay there because he doesn't want him to damage our children. I’m angry at him I stopped talking to him and I don’t know where my son will go because I have no mother no father it’s only my elder brother and kid sister even my sister who is married doesn’t want him. I’m pained and in tears seeing my only son suffering while I’m still alive and I’m helpless to protect him.

How do 0you beat someone then they start stealing or were they stealing and because of that they started beating him? because it is not easy to live with a thief.

I just log in because of u

Naturally the man is correct

But there is a way out

Get the issue to ur church for them to intervene, if he refuse to listen to them one member can just help u by taking d child up

Madam please take that your son out of that house, put him in a boarding school... to save your present home

Nigerian women and their limitless troubles. Women. Woe(to)men indeed.

Recipe of a home breaker

janvier27:
Your son is not a thief. He's a small child who found himself in an unfortunate situation, and he'll surely get over it. He needs love and attention. It's difficult not to place blames. I think you should have allowed those kids to get older before marriage. Your elder brother has failed you. So also your husband. Keep appealing to your husband or take a break off to live with your kids and show them love so that they can grow properly. Marriage is not all about keeping a woman at home and raising biological children from her.

uote author=Vyvyanvyvy post=87379664]I had 2 children. When I got married, my husband had none and accepted them like his own children.

Before marriage, we had discussed about the children living with us after marriage but that couldn’t be possible anymore because we were having financial problem so we couldn’t afford to move to a bigger apartment. We were staying in a room self contain with my daughter while my son was staying with my elder brother and his wife.

Now three years after we had moved to a bigger house still my husband doesn’t want my son to come and live with us. At the moment my son is going through hard times. My sister in law has been maltreating him to an extent that he has been stealing, he was caught and beaten like an animal. My brother said he doesn’t want him in his house again. He wants me to come and collect him.

I pleaded with my husband for me to bring him with us but he said no, he should stay there because he doesn't want him to damage our children. I’m angry at him I stopped talking to him and I don’t know where my son will go because I have no mother no father it’s only my elder brother and kid sister even my sister who is married doesn’t want him. I’m pained and in tears seeing my only son suffering while I’m still alive and I’m helpless to protect him. [/quote]




Send your son to a boarding school

Vyvyanvyvy:

I foot 70% of the bills , I pay my daughter school fee including my first child with my husband I pay half of her school fee ,all my son need is a place to stay, my husband won’t be the one paying his school fee

Where is the father? U born for osho free?

Richy4:
Your siblings that are your relatives doesn't want the boy but you want your husband that is not your relative to accept the boy
You should learn to attend to your responsibilities and mistakes. Don't drag your mistakes to that innocent man. He has done more than enough for you.

Marrying a Nigerian girl with two children(not even one) is not what every man can do. That man deserves peace and respect from you.



Haba!! U are acting as if he was doing her a favor by marrying her.. That mentality is so rustic in my opinion

Yes it's a favor... Can u marry such?

Vyvyanvyvy:

I foot 70% of the bills , I pay my daughter school fee including my first child with my husband I pay half of her school fee ,all my son need is a place to stay, my husband won’t be the one paying his school fee

My sister! Who do you see being there for you many years down the line? This man or your son? A man who does not love my child does not love me.

Vyvyanvyvy:

He will be 12 years in August , my daughter is 6 years, I have one daughter for my husband she is 2 years and I’m pregnant with another one. Their father is not in Nigeria and I don’t have his contact or his siblings. Yes I have a grocery shop I foot 70% bills in my house

I can imagine how u feel.
Sorry to ask though, how old re u?
Talk to your husband if he doesn't my dear your happiness, future of u and safety of u n ur kids are Paramount.
You can also put him in a boarding school but I bet you he won't still have the love or grow up with one. I say this because I was a boarder.
I'm not married but take the bold step either stay married an allow your son suffer or leave the marriage

Vyvyanvyvy:

He will be 12 years in August , my daughter is 6 years, I have one daughter for my husband she is 2 years and I’m pregnant with another one. Their father is not in Nigeria and I don’t have his contact or his siblings. Yes I have a grocery shop I foot 70% bills in my house

My dear, just take it easy on your husband. Whether or not you foot 70 or 100% of bills is not the issue. When that boy comes to live under the same roof with your husband, he is indirectly taking the responsibility of being his parent or guardian, which is not an easy task. This is not about money because when he lives with you guys, the neighbours would notice someone new, questions will arise, his friends will ask questions...

So it's a big mental battle for him as well, try not to see things from your own perspective alone. Can you put the boy in a good boarding school? That way he only needs to come home during holidays... At least if you tell your husband that, he should be willing to consider.

All the best dear.

Tallesty1:
Go ask step kids their experience with step moms. It is a good way to start.


And no woman comes to take the step kid away from the woman. They stay in the house because that is where they actually belongs

Not trying to make excuses for the man but these cases are different

There is no difference really.
You cannot shout about evil step mums and how they should allow their step children stay in peace with their father, while asking a step father not to rise up and be supportive of his wife's children from a previous relationship.
You can't speak with both sides of the mouth.
This child in question doesn't have his father around, and yet a man wants him to be homeless and not stay with the only other parent he has around.
We have wickedness embedded in our DNA. Real wickedness. This is worse than witchcraft. When will the needs of a child starts superseding the ego of an adult, my people? Where is our humanity as a people?
My 1st cousin married a woman with a child , and they have 2 children together now. That boy from a previous union looks after his younger ones like a hawk.
Nobody from my part of the family (the step dad's side) treats him as an outsider. He comes to their grandma's (my aunt) place with his younger ones, and lives like the prince he is. Grandma is everyone's grandma to him.
He's just a child for God's sake.
Secondly, don't see children as possessions to be taken away at will by anybody. When we start seeing them as human beings, you will stop being afraid that a man he never grew up with will just come and take him from nowhere to claim him. Can't you render help to a stranger, talkmore of a child from your wife.
I'm sure you know people who are sending the children of poor people to school, and those children are living with them. I know those raising their house helps, and sending them to good schools. Are they planning to claim those househelps as their possession? Has that stopped them from rendering help, despite knowing the househlep will leave at some point and be 'claimed' by her people?

Vyvyanvyvy:
I had 2 children. When I got married, my husband had none and accepted them like his own children.

Before marriage, we had discussed about the children living with us after marriage but that couldn’t be possible anymore because we were having financial problem so we couldn’t afford to move to a bigger apartment. We were staying in a room self contain with my daughter while my son was staying with my elder brother and his wife.

Now three years after we had moved to a bigger house still my husband doesn’t want my son to come and live with us. At the moment my son is going through hard times. My sister in law has been maltreating him to an extent that he has been stealing, he was caught and beaten like an animal. My brother said he doesn’t want him in his house again. He wants me to come and collect him.

I pleaded with my husband for me to bring him with us but he said no, he should stay there because he doesn't want him to damage our children. I’m angry at him I stopped talking to him and I don’t know where my son will go because I have no mother no father it’s only my elder brother and kid sister even my sister who is married doesn’t want him. I’m pained and in tears seeing my only son suffering while I’m still alive and I’m helpless to protect him.

Why not take him to his father

letskeeptalking:


You foot 70% of bills in your house and yet you allow your husband to dictate to you what to do with your own son.

Madam, I don't think you are a serious person.

Personally I will rather be single than be with a man who will stand between me and my children. Even if I have to live in poverty. But you are financially capable, you just want to answer 'Mrs' at the expense of your child.

After bouncing him off relatives for years, you are now using your husband as an excuse to run from your duty.

Shame!

Very easy to conclude and write the word shame but you were sometimes ago here asking for opinions about your relationship with another married man. You people should be very calm and objective giving advice to people. And what is wrong with dialogue. That the man is not willing to accept her boy into the house today doesn't mean he wont accept him tomorrow. And also boys are always very difficult to handle especially when he is grown to the age of knowing that her mum's husband is not her father. Don't even pray for such,.

Oyindidi:
Lol, men hate independent women see as e dey pain you

not all men.

24kmagic:
No one is talking about how a woman will have two kids for a man whose family and relatives she doesn't know, and who she's not married to.
I no pity your condition one bit.

That your husband sef... How were you able to convince him to marry you? You said somewhere that you foot 70% of the bills, I think that's why he married you. I mean, wtf?
You foot 70% of the bills and you can't get your husband to accept your 12years old boy into his house.

Asin, e get wetin you never tell us.
Because something is not adding up.

It will shock you the kind of homes some people come from and the lack of parental upbringing thereof.
I am saying this confidently because right now, there's one seated beside me whose mentality would rhyme very well with the OP's.

Madam i understand your worries, i think you should keep begging your husband, at thesame time put him in boarding school by so doing he won't be around much, only during holidays. I think your husband is scared of his stealing habit of which you have to assure him that he won't do such a thing in his house. may God help you. but don't break your marriage for your boy as some nairalanders are suggesting.

Vyvyanvyvy:
I had 2 children. When I got married, my husband had none and accepted them like his own children.

Before marriage, we had discussed about the children living with us after marriage but that couldn’t be possible anymore because we were having financial problem so we couldn’t afford to move to a bigger apartment. We were staying in a room self contain with my daughter while my son was staying with my elder brother and his wife.

Now three years after we had moved to a bigger house still my husband doesn’t want my son to come and live with us. At the moment my son is going through hard times. My sister in law has been maltreating him to an extent that he has been stealing, he was caught and beaten like an animal. My brother said he doesn’t want him in his house again. He wants me to come and collect him.

I pleaded with my husband for me to bring him with us but he said no, he should stay there because he doesn't want him to damage our children. I’m angry at him I stopped talking to him and I don’t know where my son will go because I have no mother no father it’s only my elder brother and kid sister even my sister who is married doesn’t want him. I’m pained and in tears seeing my only son suffering while I’m still alive and I’m helpless to protect him.

Oyindidi:
You love the mother but you no want her son in your house. Yeye husband

No keep leg closed. Just they open am anyhow to pass the responsibility to an innocent man.

is this another fake story

Davash222:
Your siblings that are your relatives doesn't want the boy but you want your husband that is not your relative to accept the boy
You should learn to attend to your responsibilities and mistakes. Don't drag your mistakes to that innocent man. He has done more than enough for you.

Marrying a Nigerian girl with two children(not even one) is not what every man can do. That man deserves peace and respect from you.

Are you okay? Her brother should be responsible for her son when she's alive? Didn't the man know she had him when he agreed to marry her? Oh, he thought he could have her while her son is sent off to live on the streets. Yeah.

Oyindidi:
Lol, men hate independent women see as e dey pain you

Lol. I think men hate women who brags about paying for house bills. My elder sister does that. I always warn to stop it that de husband didn't marry her on credit neither did she bring any huge money from her parents house.
If things go bad for your husband just try n maintain the tranquility in ur home by not broadcasting his condition

Oyindidi:
You love the mother but you no want her son in your house. Yeye husband

What a dumb statement to make.

Do you know the emotional troubles men face to know that their wives had children for other men not to talk of accommodating them?

I hope you will have your own children out of wed luck and start looking for another man to house them. Only then you will understand.

The plain truth is no one on earth will treat your children The same way you would. Stop sending your children to go leave with their uncles and aunts. They might b3 maltreated.

Back to the topic
What about his father?

Send him to a boarding school that's the option for. If your husband still don't accept him to stay with you guys during holidays he doesn't love you completely. if you don't take measures to settle your son it means you prefer Di*l over him that's simple.

DozieInc:
Complicated matters.
Too bad your relatives wouldn't accommodate your son, very few men would want to raise another man's child.
Quarreling or not talking to your husband won't profer solution.
Try make him see reasons, appeal to his conscience. Don't make it seem as if he is obligated to house your son.
Best wishes

I support your comment I don’t know why most women don’t know how to handle men . Continue appealing to your husband and also be the best wife to your husband .. also put him in your prayers that is the only way you can convince him .. not talking to him will only make matter worse and push him to another woman ... the way you are going with the matter I see you losing your husband and being a single mother to 4 children but God forbids.. Better kneel down and make peace with your husband immediately

chrisxxx:

No keep leg closed. Just they open am anyhow to pass the responsibility to an innocent man.

He knew she had a son. He should have refused to marry her, not marry her and expect her son to go live on the streets. What is wrong with you people?

I am sorry but your children are more important than your husband. Your boy is still young. He can still change for the better. Find someone who can talk to your husband and if he refuses, your children are still more important. They are the future and you are responsible for them.

Vyvyanvyvy:

He will be 12 years in August , my daughter is 6 years, I have one daughter for my husband she is 2 years and I’m pregnant with another one. Their father is not in Nigeria and I don’t have his contact or his siblings. Yes I have a grocery shop I foot 70% bills in my house

jesmond3945:
Op that boy is your son and blood. He is growing up with resentment and hatred in his heart. it is a matter of time it will come crashing down and he would never forgive you or his dad. Thank God you are footing the bill. The mistake you made was to remarry. it never ends well. Reach out to his father if you have his contact, if that fails. Plead with your husband one more time on bended knees with weeping, if that fails. Then go for your son, if it means leaving the house. This is because as long as he is away from you, happinesss and peace of mind eludes you.

I couldn't have said it better. Very sensible advice.

Madam, since you are a bit financially stable, why not find a Borden school, put your son there and try convince your husband for accommodating when school is on vacation.

Vyvyanvyvy:
I had 2 children. When I got married, my husband had none and accepted them like his own children.

Before marriage, we had discussed about the children living with us after marriage but that couldn’t be possible anymore because we were having financial problem so we couldn’t afford to move to a bigger apartment. We were staying in a room self contain with my daughter while my son was staying with my elder brother and his wife.

Now three years after we had moved to a bigger house still my husband doesn’t want my son to come and live with us. At the moment my son is going through hard times. My sister in law has been maltreating him to an extent that he has been stealing, he was caught and beaten like an animal. My brother said he doesn’t want him in his house again. He wants me to come and collect him.

I pleaded with my husband for me to bring him with us but he said no, he should stay there because he doesn't want him to damage our children. I’m angry at him I stopped talking to him and I don’t know where my son will go because I have no mother no father it’s only my elder brother and kid sister even my sister who is married doesn’t want him. I’m pained and in tears seeing my only son suffering while I’m still alive and I’m helpless to protect him.

still cant phantom why women cant stay away from premarital sex.

Just imagine marrying second hand woman