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My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by Blixon: 11:56pm On Mar 11, 2020 |
Good evening NL, I am a young man in my early thirties who has been thinking of settling down for sometime now. I was worried for a bit that I may never find my kinda woman after my previous relationship went sour several years ago. Last year, around May, I met a young lady in her mid twenties. Now she doesnt exactly have everything figured out in her life yet, she comes from a poor background and has no tertiary education but I was so drawn to her that I started investing heavily in helping her and her family, education and otherwise. I have been asked a couple of times when I was planning to settle down, so when I was certain I could spend the rest of my life with this young lady, I decided to take the news home. I had been to her place and her family welcomed me. But on getting to mine, my parents had received negative reviews about her church from a family friend and seemed devastated that I planned to marry someone whose religious denomination has questionable roots and rumours of traditional practices which is a big issue for them. Now while the young lady has decided to join my denomination, and my parents are happy to accept her, they are worried about the kind of faith and practice in her family’s denomination that isnt really considered christian. I have spoken to my girl about their practices and she has told me she is not aware of the rumours concerning their denomination. What do I do? Please help a fella out. I really want to marry her but this refusal on my parents part is breaking my heart. |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by phrancys001(m): 12:07am On Mar 12, 2020 |
Na white garment church ni abi olumbaa? 5 Likes |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by whitebeard(m): 12:20am On Mar 12, 2020 |
![]() phrancys001: 2 Likes |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by Nobody: 12:49am On Mar 12, 2020 |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by Nobody: 12:51am On Mar 12, 2020 |
Blixon:Bros abeg burn that shit marry am. Sha I am an unbeliever so I don't understand why you can't marry someone from another Christian denomination. |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by 50power: 12:51am On Mar 12, 2020 |
Then tell your parents to find another girl for you. Hookup with someone for marriage, friendship, sugar mummy or sugar daddy in Nigeria on https://ehookup.com.ng/ 1 Like |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by GboyegaD(m): 12:58am On Mar 12, 2020 |
Blixon: You are not ripe for marriage. If your parents who wouldn't be living with you in your marital home has so much power, then, stay put with your parents and safe a sister the stress. Also, you been asked when you intend settling down is a concern for me. If you still attend to such questions and get bothered by them, I fear you shouldn't deal with marriage. The challenges you have to deal with after marriage is way more. Lastly, my major pain is that you want to hold someone responsible for other people's beliefs. 3 Likes |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by Mutemenot(m): 1:00am On Mar 12, 2020 |
We always get blind when in love, we neglect certain things thinking love overcometh all but in reality, too many factors play out in marriage. Pls study your parents approach to the issue, don't be too religious and do not be too neutral, just table the issue within yourself and weigh the options. Remember, every decision you take today matters 7 Likes |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by Passionate888: 5:25am On Mar 12, 2020 |
Na white garment church. 1 Like |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by AfroKnight: 8:28am On Mar 12, 2020 |
Sorry. It will take a lot to convince them. If you stick to her they’ll say she has gone to her church to bewitch you. If you dump her, you’d start afresh, looking for a suitable woman. Lord knows how long that would take. Good young women are not many these days. 1 Like |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by 24kmagic: 8:54am On Mar 12, 2020 |
I like the fact you didn't reveal the name of the church for these fools to start comparing which church or daddy GO is better than the other. 1 Like |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by PrimadonnaO(f): 9:37am On Mar 12, 2020 |
I hope you're an active Christian, not one who's lukewarm. I'll advise you don't ignore the concerns of your parents even if you decide to marry this girl. Be prepared to wage spiritual wars and uproot strongholds. If you don't have the spiritual tenacity for the long haul, then abort mission, because that marriage will be far from easy. 2 Likes |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by Randy100: 10:27am On Mar 12, 2020 |
PrimadonnaO:spiritual war my foot. I can bet my left nyash that you are an extreme member of one pentecostal church in Nigeria. 2 Likes |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by PrimadonnaO(f): 10:46am On Mar 12, 2020 |
Randy100: No. I'm not an extremist, but spiritual warfare is real. If she's coming from a family of traditional worshippers, then there's a good chance there'll be trouble. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by Randy100: 11:40am On Mar 12, 2020 |
PrimadonnaO:Stop cracking me up. You are very funny. There is nothing like spiritual warfare. How many have you won? Every marriage has trouble including the one between a christian man and a christian woman. 4 Likes |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by ambivert27(f): 12:40pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
Passionate888: ![]() So what if it's a white garment church? The way you guys talk on here as if there are no good ones among them. |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by Passionate888: 12:45pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
ambivert27:It's just like you girls reject broke guys... White garment church girls is a no no even to some of their guys, they go out and marry then convert her |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by Originalsly: 1:16pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
Your parents .... their parents' religion... does it have 'questionable roots'? So how did your parents marry but you can't?... to someone that is of the same faith as you? As your parents are that religious... feed them with Bible. Even if her parents are Red Garment.... she is not... is of the same faith. So ask them if you marry her if you would be unequally yoked. Maybe you need to remind them that it is the girl you are marrying... not ber parents. If her parents were into ehmmm.... spiritual warfare.... their daughter would never become a member of your church. Personally... your parents do not like the girl for other reasons.... this is just a lame excuse. I guess because her family is poor. He who findeth a wife findeth a good thing... stuff them. He whose parents findeth him a wife receiveth misery. 1 Like |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by holicupp(m): 2:58pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
ambivert27: most of them forming born again Christian are Nicodemus by night |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by holicupp(m): 3:03pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by holicupp(m): 3:05pm On Mar 12, 2020 |
Passionate888: how do you know |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by Blixon: 9:15am On Mar 13, 2020 |
GboyegaD:Sometimes, try to read to comprehend before drawing hasty conclusions. How am I not ready? When I wrote *I've been asked* I didnt suggest that the questions bothered me. I even mentioned at the very beginning that I have been thinking about settling down. I simply meant that I was not expecting any resistance when I finally decided I was ready to tell them, because they've been asking. I also wrote i had taken my time to ensure i was ready cos my last relationship was several years ago. So when I was sure I was prepared, I went to see them. No one is happy for their parents to not be on their side when they decide to settle. If not for anything else, their blessing is still important. |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by Olunmercy56(f): 10:37am On Mar 13, 2020 |
GboyegaD: Thanks so much, you said it all, pizza and a Martina for you sir. I just pity the lady, she will see shege for her in-laws rules. Maybe his parents is still feeding him ![]() ![]() |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by Blixon: 11:03am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Olunmercy56:Thanks |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by Blixon: 11:09am On Mar 13, 2020 |
Originalsly: My brother, i'm not sure whatelse could have led to their conviction as they had confirmed from their own prayers that nothing was wrong with the young lady even though they haven't met her. it got bad to the point they say they wont show up if i went ahead with my plans. I know my parents are very religious and I am too, but I had expected them to see a potential for a possible conversion than to feign being scared to eat or drink at their potential in-laws abode for fear of what it may contain from their religious practices. I just need to find a way to convince them because their blessings are important to me. 1 Like |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by GboyegaD(m): 1:58pm On Mar 13, 2020 |
Blixon: Oga, you can just read my suggestion and move on. If you read your response, you will realize there is some manning up to do. You need their blessings, what an adult sees sitting down, etc have robbed so many of a lifetime joy. They have raised you and if they cannot trust your decision in this regard, then I am not only scared for you, I am scared for your wife as well. The sole decision on whom to marry lies only in the hands of the spouses. Others are just passersby in your story. No one ask them what happened and most importantly, the society focuses more on you as the head of the home. I have said my beat, follow your instincts. |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by Blixon: 2:28pm On Mar 13, 2020 |
GboyegaD:I understand what you are driving at, and thanks for caring, but look at it this way for a moment: What harm would it cause if we all just get along. As much as I am within my capacity to make my own decisions, I do not have to fight with my family to prove myself a man like you put it. The points my parents raised are what any parent as dedicated as mine are would have done. I'm only soliciting advice from well meaning people on how to make this easier for everyone involved. |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by GboyegaD(m): 2:36pm On Mar 13, 2020 |
Blixon: I understand you and the point your parents raised as a concern. You know your fiancee better to make them see her as different from what her family/cultural traditions project. You need your conviction most importantly at this time as that is the only way to explain without shoving it down their throats. While at that, you also want to be as convincing as you should be to pass the message across that you have chosen her as the person you want to be with. In it all, don't fight, don't make a fuss, and be true to yourself about what you want. Remember, the pains or glory from your decisions are yours to bear and the best others can is to show emotional concerns. |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by Blixon: 2:46pm On Mar 13, 2020 |
GboyegaD:Thanks for your kind words. I had convinced them when I visited and they accepted initially. The issue got out of hand when someone else they discussed with about it made a fuss of the evil practices people from her parents denomination are capable of. It opened a can of worms in my absence. I live very far away from them and visiting them is not an option for either of us presently. I was quiet when I was told of their stand on this issue over the phone. But i intend to have a proper discussion with them after I have gathered my facts. Thanks again. |
Re: My Parents Refused Her Because Of Her Parents Church by SavageResponse(m): 2:53pm On Mar 13, 2020 |
Blixon: You can't completely ignore the rumors you have heard about their religious practices |
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