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My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us - Family (23) - Nairaland

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My Husband Doesn’t Love Me / My Husband doesn’t give me sexual satisfaction because he uses condom / My Husband Doesn’t Satisfy Me Sexually, Our Kids Not His – Wife (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Vyvyanvyvy: 3:06pm On Mar 13, 2020
Blyzz:
well you're right, all boils down to love. If the man love the woman so tenderly, he'll do his best to care for the kids. But if the reverse be the case, I'd also tell you from experience, I've seen men who took their kids to their mother or siblings, because the wife at home maltreat the man's child and takes care of her own children. I've seen men who had kids outside end up marrying a woman with a kids also.

From my view, I can tell you the man is going through phycological stress. Thinking of what to do. Having a daughter at home, then another unborn child on its way. So adding another two children in the house, I think he's worried of that. Mind you, most men would accept the woman at first base on the eye of attraction. Then after having sex with her, bearing children for him. It not likely to renew old promises, I hope you get me.
Why does he have to worry when he doesn’t buy anything for them ? Even the child we have together I’m the one paying her school fee even for him to give me money for scan it’s a problem. It’s not like he doesn’t have any but he is a very stingy man

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Mstiti: 3:06pm On Mar 13, 2020
I cannot believe that people are advising you to ship off your child to someone or somewhere else because of a selfish husband. That is your child. He is part of you and your responsibility. You should not have gotten into a marriage where your minor aged kid is not accepted. What's done is done and now you need to figure out how to move forward. Getting rid of your kid is not an option. You and your minor children are a package that come together. You really dont have a choice. The choice is your husband's. It is really up to him to decide whether he wants to accept you (and ALL your children) and remain in the marriage or not but your 11 year old child belongs with you and there is no way around that. Dont abandon that child for anything or anyone.

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by SweetCunt97(f): 3:08pm On Mar 13, 2020
Vyvyanvyvy:

Why does he have to worry when he doesn’t buy anything for them ? Even the child we have together I’m the one paying her school fee even for him to give me money for scan it’s a problem. It’s not like he doesn’t have any but he is a very stingy man
Mam, what about sending your son to boarding school? That should straighten him out. He'll come home during the holidays.

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by SweetCunt97(f): 3:10pm On Mar 13, 2020
Vyvyanvyvy:

Why does he have to worry when he doesn’t buy anything for them ? Even the child we have together I’m the one paying her school fee even for him to give me money for scan it’s a problem. It’s not like he doesn’t have any but he is a very stingy man
What's now the essence of being married? Just to bear Mrs Phhsssh

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by deathmen12: 3:10pm On Mar 13, 2020
You are good man, people can easily condemn others people’s children but if it’s their own they will cover it up and be praying to God to change them.
janvier27:
Your son is not a thief. He's a small child who found himself in an unfortunate situation, and he'll surely get over it. He needs love and attention. It's difficult not to place blames. I think you should have allowed those kids to get older before marriage. Your elder brother has failed you. So also your husband. Keep appealing to your husband or take a break off to live with your kids and show them love so that they can grow properly. Marriage is not all about keeping a woman at home and raising biological children from her.

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Miarose: 3:11pm On Mar 13, 2020
Strong Mama. If the men on this thread had mothers like you, they will not be so bitter.
How would they feel if their mothers chose a man over them? A lot of them will die of pain but here they are recommending you to do same.
You are making the best choice .. dont be scared..

Even in the bible was Jesus was being crucified, his mother was in the crowd.. No mention of Joseph.
we are not the same as them..
Our calling is different
God be your strength.



Vyvyanvyvy:

Yes you are right before I brought my problem here have already made up my mind to bring my son to the house this Sunday but I didn’t want to act fast so I decided to come here and seek opinions / advices from others too because is very important. My children are not my relative responsibility while I’m still alive it’s my duty to care and protect them myself nobody can take care of them better than me and if I die ( God forbid) I know my sister will never abandon my children the same way I will do for her kids if she is not around.

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by revolt(m): 3:12pm On Mar 13, 2020
Shifi1:
take him to his father na
I WONDER OOOOO...A LOT OF THESE SINGLE MOTHERS HAVE MENTAL ISSUES. SHES PROBABLY TRYING EVERYTHING POSSIBLE NOT TO LET THE FATHER KNOW THE BOY. BUT COME TO THINK OF IT. NOW THE BOY HAS DEVELOPED A KlEPTOMANIC BEHAVIOUR, EVEN HIS DAD WILL BE RELUCTANT TO HAVE HIM. NOW SHES ANGRY THE POOR HUSBAND ISNT ACCEPTING THE CHILD. A BOY THATS STARTED STEALING. LIKE HE WAS THERE WHEN THEY WERE CREATING HIM.

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by revolt(m): 3:14pm On Mar 13, 2020
Vyvyanvyvy:

He is not in Nigeria
how convenient... I'm sure his father has people. The main issue here is the fact the boy has developed terrible behaviours and if cares not taking may be too late.

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Bishop(m): 3:14pm On Mar 13, 2020
Vyvyanvyvy:

He will be 12 years in August , my daughter is 6 years, I have one daughter for my husband she is 2 years and I’m pregnant with another one. Their father is not in Nigeria and I don’t have his contact or his siblings. Yes I have a grocery shop I foot 70% bills in my house


Arrange for your son to be in a boarding school, this time frame will give you enough time to keep talking to your husband also it will make him believe he is just there for a while during holidays until he accepts him gradually only if your son is of good behavior. Cheers

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Oyindidi(f): 3:14pm On Mar 13, 2020
Ivebeenbanned:

I like you a lot already grin
Thanks honey. Let me bring tank for their tears

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by revolt(m): 3:16pm On Mar 13, 2020
janvier27:
Your son is not a thief. He's a small child who found himself in an unfortunate situation, and he'll surely get over it. He needs love and attention. It's difficult not to place blames. I think you should have allowed those kids to get older before marriage. Your elder brother has failed you. So also your husband. Keep appealing to your husband or take a break off to live with your kids and show them love so that they can grow properly. Marriage is not all about keeping a woman at home and raising biological children from her.
what Is it then? These kids sef

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by deathmen12: 3:17pm On Mar 13, 2020
It’s not entitlement Oga, the boy is just 12, and you can’t conclude he is a thief... so if it was the elder brother son will the elder brother send the boy out of his house? May God not let us be in a situation when our children will go and stay with relatives, heart of men is too polluted.
Belafonte:


This is the entitlement we are talking about. How did her elder brother fail her? By refusing to house a thief? Do bear in mind that may have been the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Why doesn’t she send the boy to his father, after all, he’s alive

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by movement2020: 3:18pm On Mar 13, 2020
worworbabe:


From your experience, now that the Father is nowhere to be found, isn't it best that the child stays with his mother?

Sure, that's the best but now that the man is not accepting, should we blame him. Depends on your view but I can't due to lots of factors. The child is facing the consequence and should we allow him to suffer? NO. We need to find an accommodation for him. The mother therefore should be responsible since the father is no where to be found.

I already proffer the two solutions in my earlier post.

Plead with the woman with help of woman power, relatives, close allies, Pastor et al.

We both know the father can still be found if necessary contacts are made. If not, let the boy go back to his relatives at least till the new father will accept.
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by revolt(m): 3:18pm On Mar 13, 2020
Vyvyanvyvy:

He will be 12 years in August , my daughter is 6 years, I have one daughter for my husband she is 2 years and I’m pregnant with another one. Their father is not in Nigeria and I don’t have his contact or his siblings. Yes I have a grocery shop I foot 70% bills in my house
good job. No contact for a man you had 2 kids with? Interesting ...

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Ivebeenbanned(f): 3:18pm On Mar 13, 2020
Oyindidi:
Thanks honey. Let me bring tank for their tears
Lmfao.
The comment section surprised me a lot today sha. They were more smart people giving advice than useless Nigerian men with their toxic masculinity. I was thinking to myself "is this the nairaland I know?".

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by sorepco(m): 3:19pm On Mar 13, 2020
A woman who does all dese is a good woman. Infact she is an asset to dat man! I tot di man took all di resosabilities sef



Davash222:

I do this, I do that... abeg make we hear word.
Take the boy to his dad!

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 3:19pm On Mar 13, 2020
xendra:
but if it was the mans child, your wide mouth will open to call women evil and unwilling to accept their husbands child as their own. Iranu

It doesn’t matter if gender were switched..... most people don’t want to raise another person’s child that won’t see him or her as a mother or father figure.....and that happens with children that are already grown...just as the case here cos the child in question is already 12years .anything from age 6 and above is not a good idea...
..kids like that are hard to raise....its easier to take on a partner with a younger child..it’s easier to raise them with your own without any issues. .

.remember the woman said they moved to a new apartment, now they’ve stayed 3years in the new house...meaning the younger female child from the OP was brought in with at a very young age probably 2 or 1 year old....or even lesser.
The man doesn’t want unnecessary gang up btw the children...this boy will come now and start making his sister know the daddy of the house isn’t their father....na so wahala dey start for house....

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by remigreat(f): 3:20pm On Mar 13, 2020
This OP story looks like a concocted one or better still seeking advice for someone who's currently going through similar situation. Like seriously, I assume you're a grown ups who should know what's best for you. Since you're "OK" financially, leave that man alone and take full responsibility over your son. I believe the man would support you in raising the other kids you both own. I wish you well in your decisions.

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 3:20pm On Mar 13, 2020
Vyvyanvyvy:

Why does he have to worry when he doesn’t buy anything for them ? Even the child we have together I’m the one paying her school fee even for him to give me money for scan it’s a problem. It’s not like he doesn’t have any but he is a very stingy man
What happened to your Son's father?

Sending the child abroad for better opportunities would be better right?

Why should your husband father a child that isn't his?

You want him to pretend like he has four children?

You know He is married to your not your children?

The secret you don't know is that your husband isn't doing much for the children(including his own)he might be feeling like he is competing for your love because you've probably directed most of your love to your 6 year old daughter, and gave her special treatment in the house, he might not have accepted your son so he doesn't compete with him too

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Oyindidi(f): 3:20pm On Mar 13, 2020
revolt:
good job. No contact for a man you had 2 kids with? Interesting ...
Nothing new here, it happens sometimes
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by deavicky(m): 3:21pm On Mar 13, 2020
Ivebeenbanned:

Wasn't talking to you. Didn't ask for your silly opinions, Nigerian man.
my mind is telling me u are in the same situation. Having messed up yourselves, you still want to be treated like nothing happened.
I'm Nigeria man and will continue to reason in that direction till i become an American man which I don't think that will ever happen.

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Oyindidi(f): 3:22pm On Mar 13, 2020
Ivebeenbanned:

Lmfao.
The comment section surprised me a lot today sha. They were more smart people giving advice than useless Nigerian men with their toxic masculinity. I was thinking to myself "is this the nairaland I know?".
My sister, them dey cry for my mention since
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Ivebeenbanned(f): 3:23pm On Mar 13, 2020
deavicky:
my mind is telling me u are in the same situation. Having messed up yourselves, you still want to be treated like nothing happened.
I'm Nigeria man and will continue to reason in that direction till i become an American man which I don't think that will ever happen.

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Ivebeenbanned(f): 3:23pm On Mar 13, 2020
deavicky:
my mind is telling me u are in the same situation. Having messed up yourselves, you still want to be treated like nothing happened.
I'm Nigeria man and will continue to reason in that direction till i become an American man which I don't think that will ever happen.
Learn to construct a proper sentence, Nigerian man.
Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by sorepco(m): 3:23pm On Mar 13, 2020
SUPERWOMAN....we need women like dis. But on di Oda hand hope u don't argue with ur man when he tries to correct ur girl child.
Maybe he afraid u mite do same with di boy. Also e b like u get pass ur husband...if u r too proud he won't accept di boy. Had it bn ur are humble I think e go allow am.


Vyvyanvyvy:

He will be 12 years in August , my daughter is 6 years, I have one daughter for my husband she is 2 years and I’m pregnant with another one. Their father is not in Nigeria and I don’t have his contact or his siblings. Yes I have a grocery shop I foot 70% bills in my house

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by lepasharon(f): 3:24pm On Mar 13, 2020
Vyvyanvyvy:

Have already been paying rent for the house we are staying and why should I waste money again ? I have school fees and other bills to pay. my son should be with me , his father {my husband} and his siblings he doesn’t need to be living apart like an orphan when I’m alive and healthy

Since you do so much, what does your husband do?

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by rali123(f): 3:24pm On Mar 13, 2020
Vyvyanvyvy:

You are right my dear I should have waited for my kids to grow. See when we first met he had all those sweets words that he loves them they are his he will treat them well etc etc and I taught it was God that send him to my life ooo if I knew it would be like this today i wouldn’t even wasted my time marrying him. Have a lots to say but Not everything is good to say on social media

I totally understand what you are going through because a very close friend is going through similar thing, the husband does nothing for the child as well but he lives with them(just a boy about 14years)...

He does not need to go to boarding school for now, he needs YOU, you need to monitor him, show him love and understand, make him see what hes doing is wrong by talking to him all the time and I bet you he will change for better, talk to him about everything, hes friends, school work, what he likes, what he doesn't anything you can think of please...

Your husband, you need to have a heart to heart talk with him, everytime even if it means waking him up at night everyday till he sees reason why the boy needs to stay with both of you, your husband is strong man regardless. God bless you and your home.

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Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by PinkHealthGroup: 3:24pm On Mar 13, 2020
revolt:
I WONDER OOOOO...A LOT OF THESE SINGLE MOTHERS HAVE MENTAL ISSUES. SHES PROBABLY TRYING EVERYTHING POSSIBLE NOT TO LET THE FATHER KNOW THE BOY. BUT COME TO THINK OF IT. NOW THE BOY HAS DEVELOPED A KlEPTOMANIC BEHAVIOUR, EVEN HIS DAD WILL BE RELUCTANT TO HAVE HIM. NOW SHES ANGRY THE POOR HUSBAND ISNT ACCEPTING THE CHILD. A BOY THATS STARTED STEALING. LIKE HE WAS THERE WHEN THEY WERE CREATING HIM.

You are a fucking dolt!!

4 Likes

Re: My Husband Doesn’t Want My Son To Come And Stay With Us by Nobody: 3:24pm On Mar 13, 2020
Vyvyanvyvy:

I foot 70% of the bills , I pay my daughter school fee including my first child with my husband I pay half of her school fee ,all my son need is a place to stay, my husband won’t be the one paying his school fee
how old is that your son

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