Good evening everyone, I've been a guest for quite a while, created an account cause I need advice from the audience.

How long should an engagement ring be worn for? I've been engaged since last year May (dated for 4yrs), my Fiance hasn't talked about proceeding to do introduction or marriage, it's like he just proposed to me because he felt like.

This man has refused to be on his own, his Grandma and 5 siblings (younger and older) live with him and he takes responsibility for them all, two of his siblings living with him also have their partners living with them. It's only a 3 bedroom flat. I feel like quitting the whole thing cause I don't feel comfortable going to his house. When I do, he wants me to cook for everyone which gets me strained.

With the look of things, he has no plans of moving out for them cause he rented the apartment, neither do they have intentions of moving out on their own, it's more like a family house. My period is two days late and I'm scared to the marrow.

Please advice me on what to do cause I can't live with him if they're still there after marriage, he's not even talking about marriage, I've not asked him yet so as not to sound desperate but why propose if you don't have plans of doing the next thing after a max of 6 months?

He's 31 and I'm 24

Thanks.

If you dont talk to him, you will never know.

Give him money to rent another apartment if you can't cope with him and his family in the same building.

Or better still, give him money for wedding expenses if you can't wait or exercise some patients till he's ready for wedding!

You are 24!
-Do you work?
-Are you a student?
-Are you learning any skill?
-Do you have any meaningful thing to boast of?

Who and what are you exactly to the society and what exactly are you impacting in his life to warrant such thoughts of pressurizing him into sending his families out and marrying you as soon as possible!!

Smh! Keep fvckin him with reckless abandon, until you get pregnant, then will you understand the gravity of your fvckery!!

No use your head now wey you young!
Kpata kpata you'll turn to a single mother and a feminist wannabe, nothing go still change! Men go still dey ball higher!
Ask single mothers and feminist wannabes how they ended up and if anything changed in their lives after ranting and hating on men.

Let him know before he turns you to Lord of the rings, dont forget that thing becomes heavy on your finger the longer it stays,without actualizing its purpose, which is marriage.

Wise up! Dont let your heart, soul and time be enslaved and wasted.


WE SELL YOGHURT LACTIC CULTURE, FOR YOGHURT PRODUCTION.

You should have taken to your heels the moment you saw that living arrangement. Don't worry, he will marry you officially when he feels he needs a live-in househelp for his siblings and nanny for his grandma.

NextD18:
Give him money to rent another apartment if you can't cope with him and his family in the same building.

Give him money for wedding expenses if you can't wait or exercise some patients till he's ready for wedding!

Do you work?
Are you a student?
Are you learning any skill?
Who and what are you exactly to the society and what exactly are you impacting in his life to warrant such thoughts of pressurizing him into sending his families out and marrying you as soon as possible!!

You know why I like you?

Half the time I read your comments, they are exactly what I am going to type..

No homo..

You are still very young for this nonsense.

You alone wears the shoe and know where it pinches, Goodluck.

When he's supposed to tell you exactly when the wedding is taking place as he's giving you the ring...


Some girls una too mumu

For your mind now you're engaged. You better go on your knees and pray to whatever you believe in that you're not pregnant so you can easily throw away that chain and walk away.

lol.., @24 you act desperately
I'm sure you must have other serious suitors coming your way but you prefer to stick with a guy who is not yet even sure of himself.

it's clear he's playing you and you still stick your ass there for 5 good years!!

return his ring and move on with your life, hope you are not already pregnant sha

It is better to leave the relationship now than regret it later.
He will waste your time till you are 28 and by then, you will become more desperate.
If marriage is a priority to you, make hay while the sun shines.

He wants to turn you to lord of the rings ni. Just talk to him about the whole thing.

You remind me of the proverbial Yoruba addage about a man who doesn't want to move or work but wouldn't allow others to move or work and when those that are ready to work says he should leave the road for them,he will say no,I am not ready to work therefore nobody else should work


Does my little folklore teach you something?

The elders will say aboro lonsofun omoluabi,tobadeinu e, ADI odindin

Use your tongue to count your teeth,Op.
If you like keep fv*king him and don't use your head.

Do the work of he that sent you while its in the day because night shall come when no man can work. Do not heed to these advises you see here, women are generally unreasonable with few exceptions. Sit that man down and talk to him. Whatever you gain from this union put it aside and talk to him, tell him your concerns and get something tangible, like a bargain from him which must have a TIMELINE. Though marriage is not for everyone but truth is you need to understand his side of the bargain

crackkhaus:

You know why I like you?

Half the time I read your comments, they are exactly what I am going to type..

No homo..

No surprises here. Just like he is, is the way you are. I wonder who dates you people.

Bunch of walking, imbecilic narcissists.

UyaiIncomparabl:


No surprises here. Just like he is, is the way you are. I wonder who dates you people.

Bunch of walking, imbecilic narcissists.

Women 100x better than you obviously.

Kill yourself...

HelloHolla:
Good evening everyone, I've been a guest for quite a while, created an account cause I need advice from the audience.

How long should an engagement ring be worn for? I've been engaged since last year May(dated for 4yrs), my Fiance hasn't talked about proceeding to do introduction or marriage, it's like he just proposed to me cause he felt like, this man has refused to be on his own, his Grandma and 5 siblings(younger and older) lives with him and he takes responsibility for them all, two of his siblings living with him also have their partners living with them, it's only a 3 bedroom flat, I feel like quitting the whole thing cause I don't feel comfortable going to his house, when I do, he wants me to cook for everyone which gets me strained,with the look of things, he has no plans of moving out for them cause he rented the apartment, neither do they have intentions of moving out on their own, it's more like a family house, my period is two days late and I'm scared to the marrow, please advice me on what to do cause I can't live with him if they're still there after marriage, he's not even talking about marriage, I've not asked him yet so as not to sound desperate but why propose if you don't have plans of doing the next thing after a max of 6 months?
He's 31 and I'm 24
Thanks.

I hope you'll learn to see that he's really not into you like that. A man who hasn't made plans to leave and cleave definitely has no business getting married. That he is 31 doesn't mean he's ready. You cook and tend to his family whenever you are around them, right? You'll do worse when you get married. You'll become head chef and senior nanny to his siblings and aging Grandmother.

Have a serious discussion with him, tell him to give you a time, set your own time too since you're the one whom the shoes hurts. If he still shows signs of unseriousness and unwillingness, then I see no reason why you shouldn't start extending your search outside. This is your future. Don't ruin it. The partner you marry is liable to make or mar you.

In the end, it's all your brunt to bear. Choose wisely now to avoid coming to the front page of Nairaland tomorrow seeking for marital advice.

Ladies, even if you date a douchebag, please endeavor not to marry that douchebag. Please, see it as an importance to marry a man that has sense. You're Queens and Queens do not eat debris nor settle for less.

Thread wisely and carefully.

crackkhaus:

Women 100x better than you obviously.

Kill yourself...

The ilks who liked your post are obviously your flocks. I see how much they've influenced you since you've dated quality women.

I don't have anything to say to you, but I'll rather just hope that I never come across men like you in my life.

You're a total waste of time.

Why did you accept his ring with all these observations? I know Nigeria is hard but living with a crowd and wanting a woman to join you there is insensitive. Some women don't mind and because you accepted his proposal, it comes across as you don't mind.
You are just 24 and shouldn't fret too much. If he isn't serious please move on. Discuss your fears first and if he still doesn't show seriousness, take a decision. As for being pregnant, I'm sure you did biology in school. Unprotected sex leads to pregnancy.

UyaiIncomparabl:

[s]
The ilks who liked your post are obviously your flocks. I see how much they've influenced you since you've dated quality women.

I don't have anything to say to you, but I'll rather just hope that I never come across men like you in my life.

You're a total waste of time.[/s]

Boo hoo.. The whinging of an obsessive compulsive liar...

You seem to forget you already arranged the chance to come across a man like me...
Now I'm quite thankful I had more important places to be that day, and postpone it.

Knowing what I know now about you, it would have been a total regret and waste of my time.

UyaiIncomparabl:


I hope you'll learn to see that he's really not into you like that. A man who hasn't made plans to leave and cleave definitely has no business getting married. That he is 31 doesn't mean he's ready. You cook and tend to his family whenever you are around them, right? You'll do worse when you get married. You'll become head chef and senior nanny to his siblings and aging Grandmother.

Have a serious discussion with him, tell him to give you a time, set your own time too since you're the one whom the shoes hurts. If he still shows signs of unseriousness and unwillingness, then I see no reason why you shouldn't start extending your search outside. This is your future. Don't ruin it. The partner you marry is liable to make or mar you.

In the end, it's all your brunt to bear. Choose wisely now to avoid coming to the front page of Nairaland tomorrow seeking for marital advice.

Ladies, even if you date a douchebag, please endeavor not to marry that douchebag. Please, see it as an importance to marry a man that has sense. You're Queens and Queens do not eat debris nor settle for less.

Thread wisely and carefully.

Wow, I love this.

Lemme book space, this is going to front page.

NextD18:
Give him money to rent another apartment if you can't cope with him and his family in the same building.

Give him money for wedding expenses if you can't wait or exercise some patients till he's ready for wedding!

Do you work?
Are you a student?
Are you learning any skill?
Who and what are you exactly to the society and what exactly are you impacting in his life to warrant such thoughts of pressurizing him into sending his families out and marrying you as soon as possible!!

Keep fvckin him with reckless abandon, until you get pregnant, then will you understand the gravity of your fvckery!!

She said her period is two days late, meaning she's suspecting that she's pregnant

rain21:
lol.., @24 you act desperately
I'm sure you must have other serious suitors coming your way but you prefer to stick with a guy who is not yet even sure of himself.

it's clear he's playing you and you still stick your ass there for 5 good years!!

return his ring and move on with your life, hope you are not already pregnant sha

Unfortunately, she's suspecting that she's

UyaiIncomparabl:


I hope you'll learn to see that he's really not into you like that. A man who hasn't made plans to leave and cleave definitely has no business getting married. That he is 31 doesn't mean he's ready. You cook and tend to his family whenever you are around them, right? You'll do worse when you get married. You'll become head chef and senior nanny to his siblings and aging Grandmother.

Have a serious discussion with him, tell him to give you a time, set your own time too since you're the one whom the shoes hurts. If he still shows signs of unseriousness and unwillingness, then I see no reason why you shouldn't start extending your search outside. This is your future. Don't ruin it. The partner you marry is liable to make or mar you.

In the end, it's all your brunt to bear. Choose wisely now to avoid coming to the front page of Nairaland tomorrow seeking for marital advice.

Ladies, even if you date a douchebag, please endeavor not to marry that douchebag. Please, see it as an importance to marry a man that has sense. You're Queens and Queens do not eat debris nor settle for less.

Thread wisely and carefully.

In addition to chef and nanny, she would also be housekeeper, dishwasher, errand girl and mai ruwa (in case there's no running water there). How can a young girl open her eyes and jump into a relationship with a man with this kind of family baggage on his shoulder? Even if he eventually marries her and moves away from that family house, his siblings will still continue to pile up demands on him and if he's unable meet the demands, she will be blamed and resented.

She's lucky she's got age on her side, unfortunately she may have gotten pregnant. If I were her, I'd pawn off that ring to those aboki gold buyers in Yaba market and flee from marrying into such family.

crackkhaus:


Knowing what I know now, it would have been a total regret and waste of my time.

OK.

If the relationship is not progressing, you need to quit it.
This is not about ring or no ring.

Those siblings with live-in partners, they and the partners are irresponsible.
He should help his siblings become self-sufficient and move out of that house.
He caters for their every need, that's why they keep bringing more and more responsibilities.

Gaggi:
Why did you accept his ring with all these observations? I know Nigeria is hard but living with a crowd and wanting a woman to join you there is insensitive. Some women don't mind and because you accepted his proposal, it comes across as you don't mind.
You are just 24 and shouldn't fret too much. If he isn't serious please move on. Discuss your fears first and if he still doesn't show seriousness, take a decision. As for being pregnant, I'm sure you did biology in school. Unprotected sex leads to pregnancy.

Thank you for the contribution, I accepted his ring because I thought he was going to "change" and perhaps, start living on his own, obviously, he doesn't look like he's moving anywhere, he has chased off other eligible suitors off me.

dominique:


In addition to chef and nanny, she would also be housekeeper, dishwasher, errand girl and mai ruwa (in case there's no running water there). How can a young girl open her eyes and jump into a relationship with a man with this kind of family baggage on his shoulder? Even if he eventually marries her and moves away from that family house, his siblings will still continue to pile up demands on him and if he's unable meet the demands, she will be blamed and resented.

She's lucky she's got age on her side, unfortunately she may have gotten pregnant. If I were her, I'd pawn off that ring to those aboki gold buyers in Yaba market and flee from marrying into such family.

He moved out once, but they came visiting and saw there were vacant rooms, before we knew what was happening, they'd moved IN with him fully cause the former house rent expired, now, he thinks I'm trying to separate him from his family.

Winneygirl:
Those siblings with live-in partners, they and the partners are irresponsible.
He should help his siblings become self-sufficient and move out of that house.
He caters for their every need, that's why they keep bringing more and more responsibilities.

He tried helping but they usually end up squandering the money on irrelevances, mostly virtual games.