I lost my father when I was 11 months old and since then it has been my mum taking care of me and my elder sister.

Things weren't so rosy for us, my father's people took all he had and left us homeless. To the point that, from just 2 years old to 18 years old, I lived in (Oworo, Shomolu, Mushin, Ladi Lak, Sango Ota, Alakuko, Ikeja, Egbeda, Ajah and Epe).

This is a result of being homeless, we always had to move when people evicts us from their homes and by this, I couldn't finish High school (ss3) even though I was very brilliant and had represented Ogun state in a spelling bee competition.

Along the line, my mum's extremely caring in my field of need, she tries to get me everything other children enjoy too but one thing is she's so bad-tempered and she nags too.

She had subjected me to a lot of abuse while growing up, I knew it wasn't love then, it was just an abuse.

She had thrown knife at me before, hit me with hard objects and causes so much depression to my existence through this. This is the main reason I had to hustle up to leave her roof at 18, it wasn't so easy for me but I did it and she never wanted it but who wants to be in a home where you gets constantly abused?

Sometimes I wonder why people ignore all these things and mistake it for love? Or is t just my mentality cos I know that abuse is a big crime in the US.

Even on mother's day, I couldn't post her picture cos I won't be an hypocrite to have said shes the best in the world, she nags and this makes me dislike her.

Even my sister thought she could cope but now she's out and she's the only one living now (mum) . I'd appreciate any advice.

99.846% of Nigerian ladies don't have strong connection and good relationship with their mothers, reason they hate and detest mother inlaws so much, especially if their man is so close to his mother.

So calm down and keep pushing positively, you are not the only lady that isn't in good relationship with her mother.

No matter what, she's still your mother. I'm sure her bad tempered was due to the hardship and frustration, now that you old enough you can talk to her and encourage her as well.
Catering for you and your sister at a very early stage is bad for any single mother

U re just talking like a small pikin.

Do u tink its easy raising children all alone?

Do u tink about she shame she faced after ur papa's demise?

Do u know the kind of allegations she was subjected to which led to the retrieval of ur father's properties by his families??

Can u count how many days she had to sleep with empty stomach just to face her responsibilities (u and ur sister)

Do u tink its easy moving from one location to another??

Do u tink its easy trying to provide necessities for u just for u to b equal with ur mates?

Do u tink its easy facing abuse from ur husband's family? Am sure she faced it.

Av u sat down and tinn about how troublesome u could be? Dont tell me u re not while growing up.

Do u think about how depressed she is? Even in depression she was stil there for u and ur sisters.

Do u know how hostile one can b why depressed??

Do u know what she had to cope with just to feed u, pay bills and other necessaries??
Am very sure one day she was deep in thought and u came with ur usual wahala, dat is why she threw u knife, not dat she wanted to but u and depression caused it.

Its a pity u didn't see her one of those nights wen she was crying alone cus u were deep asleep. She needed a helping hand but non showed up, instead she was denied of her husband's properties. This alone may make her hate u guys u know!!!

Its a pity u re putin her into sword again tru ur actions and inactions.


U BETTER APPRECIATE HER FOR NOT TAKING THE DECISION TO SELL UR SISTER ON EBAY TO LIBYA AND TRANSFER U TRU DHL TO COTONOU

NextD18:
99.846% of Nigerian ladies don't have strong connection and good relationship with their mothers, reason they hate and detest mother inlaws so much, especially if their man is so close to his mother.

So calm down and keep pushing positively, you are not the only lady that isn't in good relationship with her mother.

You skipped your common sense medicine again today, very bad.

OlawaleBammie:
U re just talking like a small pikin.

Do u tink its easy raising children all alone?

Do u tink about she shame she faced after ur papa's demise?

Do u know the kind of allegations she was subjected to which led to the retrieval of ur father's properties by his families??

Can u count how many days she had to sleep with empty stomach just to face her responsibilities (u and ur sister)

Do u tink its easy moving from one location to another??

Do u tink its easy trying to provide necessities for u just for u to b equal with ur mates?

Do u tink its easy facing abuse from ur husband's family? Am sure she faced it.

Av u sat down and tinn about how troublesome u could be? Dont tell me u re not while growing up.

Do u think about how depressed she is? Even in depression she was stil there for u and ur sisters.

Do u know how hostile one can b why depressed??

Do u know what she had to cope with just to feed u, pay bills and other necessaries??
Am very sure one day she was deep in thought and u came with ur usual wahala, dat is why she threw u knife, not dat she wanted to but u and depression caused it.

Its a pity u didn't see her one of those nights wen she was crying alone cus u were deep asleep. She needed a helping hand but non showed up, instead she was denied of her husband's properties. This alone may make her hate u guys u know!!!

Its a pity u re putin her into sword again tru ur actions and inactions.


U BETTER APPRECIATE HER FOR NOT TAKING THE DECISION TO SELL UR SISTER ON EBAY TO LIBYA AND TRANSFER U TRU DHL TO COTONOU

dear op... Read nd digest dis... Maybe u will see dis situatuon in a different way!!!

No matter what she did I'll tell you who you are

You're an ingrate.
If she had thrown you away at 18months and followed another man you won't be typing all this bullshit. This children sef when I suffer for them sometimes I ask myself is it worth it. But I keep doing it for God. See here now.

My mama has broken my femur, cracked my humerus, beaten me blue and black, poured pepper on my body, the unthinkables,yet I adore her. For she is all I've got. She's your real family. If all the chips are down she go still show. She must get your back. See as you type well. She sent you to school. You no dey see tabon tabon on nairaland? Bad English everywhere. But you. .. .No make me talk Abeg. You dey make me vex. Make I no go over ex catch corona

Shibaraba:
No matter what she did I'll tell you who you are

You're an ingrate.
If she had thrown you away at 18months and followed another man you won't be typing all this bullshit. This children sef when I suffer for them sometimes I ask myself is it worth it. But I keep doing it for God. See here now.

My mama has broken my femur, cracked my humerus, beaten me blue and black, poured pepper on my body, the unthinkables,yet I adore her. For she is all I've got. She's your real family. If all the chips are down she go still show. She must get your back. See as you type well. She sent you to school. You no dey see tabon tabon on nairaland? Bad English everywhere. But you. .. .No make me talk Abeg. You dey make me vex. Make I no go over ex catch corona

D master storyteller, you never disappoint

Your mother didn't hate you. It was all frustration. She probably did not handle it well, and you were too young to see and understand her pain.
She tried to get you things other privileged children had, she didn't even want you to leave..she no even sell you self. Best you pour out your mind to her face to face then mend up.

Op is one helluva ungrateful child....do you think it's easy caring for children.

You had better move closer to your mum and appreciate her now that she's still alive
Ungrateful pikins everywhere.

NextD18:
99.846% of Nigerian ladies don't have strong connection and good relationship with their mothers, reason they hate and detest mother inlaws so much, especially if their man is so close to his mother.

So calm down and keep pushing positively, you are not the only lady that isn't in good relationship with her mother.

Where did you get this statistic from?

NextD18:
99.846% of Nigerian ladies don't have strong connection and good relationship with their mothers, reason they hate and detest mother inlaws so much, especially if their man is so close to his mother.

So calm down and keep pushing positively, you are not the only lady that isn't in good relationship with her mother.

Oga that's a man and your stats is from your scale of ignorance


OP, she took care of you up till when you became independent, remember that. Don't be ungrateful, unthink those thoughts you have stored up against her. You're introducing illness into your life. Forgive any hurt you feel, make sure you take good care if her.

NextD18:
99.846% of Nigerian ladies don't have strong connection and good relationship with their mothers, reason they hate and detest mother inlaws so much, especially if their man is so close to his mother.

So calm down and keep pushing positively, you are not the only lady that isn't in good relationship with her mother.

@bold:

To think the OP is male

Shibaraba:
No matter what she did I'll tell you who you are

You're an ingrate.
If she had thrown you away at 18months and followed another man you won't be typing all this bullshit. This children sef when I suffer for them sometimes I ask myself is it worth it. But I keep doing it for God. See here now.

My mama has broken my femur, cracked my humerus, beaten me blue and black, poured pepper on my body, the unthinkables,yet I adore her.

For she is all I've got. She's your real family. If all the chips are down she go still show. She must get your back. See as you type well. She sent you to school. You no dey see tabon tabon on nairaland? Bad English everywhere. But you. .. .No make me talk Abeg. You dey make me vex. Make I no go over ex catch corona

Your mama suppose dey for Hague (The detection centre of the International Criminal Court)


This is not parenting but witchcraft

I'm so impressed. I'd try to think about it but one thing is, do you justify abuse on children?

OlawaleBammie:
U re just talking like a small pikin.

Do u tink its easy raising children all alone?

Do u tink about she shame she faced after ur papa's demise?

Do u know the kind of allegations she was subjected to which led to the retrieval of ur father's properties by his families??

Can u count how many days she had to sleep with empty stomach just to face her responsibilities (u and ur sister)

Do u tink its easy moving from one location to another??

Do u tink its easy trying to provide necessities for u just for u to b equal with ur mates?

Do u tink its easy facing abuse from ur husband's family? Am sure she faced it.

Av u sat down and tinn about how troublesome u could be? Dont tell me u re not while growing up.

Do u think about how depressed she is? Even in depression she was stil there for u and ur sisters.

Do u know how hostile one can b why depressed??

Do u know what she had to cope with just to feed u, pay bills and other necessaries??
Am very sure one day she was deep in thought and u came with ur usual wahala, dat is why she threw u knife, not dat she wanted to but u and depression caused it.

Its a pity u didn't see her one of those nights wen she was crying alone cus u were deep asleep. She needed a helping hand but non showed up, instead she was denied of her husband's properties. This alone may make her hate u guys u know!!!

Its a pity u re putin her into sword again tru ur actions and inactions.


U BETTER APPRECIATE HER FOR NOT TAKING THE DECISION TO SELL UR SISTER ON EBAY TO LIBYA AND TRANSFER U TRU DHL TO COTONOU

ayobamiJR:
I lost my father when I was 11 months old and since then it has been my mum taking care of me and my elder sister.

Things weren't so rosy for us, my father's people took all he had and left us homeless. To the point that, from just 2 years old to 18 years old, I lived in (Oworo, Shomolu, Mushin, Ladi Lak, Sango Ota, Alakuko, Ikeja, Egbeda, Ajah and Epe).

This is a result of being homeless, we always had to move when people evicts us from their homes and by this, I couldn't finish High school (ss3) even though I was very brilliant and had represented Ogun state in a spelling bee competition.

Along the line, my mum's extremely caring in my field of need, she tries to get me everything other children enjoy too but one thing is she's so bad-tempered and she nags too.

She had subjected me to a lot of abuse while growing up, I knew it wasn't love then, it was just an abuse.

She had thrown knife at me before, hit me with hard objects and causes so much depression to my existence through this. This is the main reason I had to hustle up to leave her roof at 18, it wasn't so easy for me but I did it and she never wanted it but who wants to be in a home where you gets constantly abused?

Sometimes I wonder why people ignore all these things and mistake it for love? Or is t just my mentality cos I know that abuse is a big crime in the US.

Even on mother's day, I couldn't post her picture cos I won't be an hypocrite to have said shes the best in the world, she nags and this makes me dislike her.

Even my sister thought she could cope but now she's out and she's the only one living now (mum) . I'd appreciate any advice.

Well, you just have to deal with it with caution

She may have not been thus bad, but separating from your dad, could have made her worst

My advice is, don't be too close to her and don't be too far from her

She needs you guys now and always, answer her from a distance

She will still get worst at old age

But assuming she has a man friend, it will help so that she can still make love with him a d ut will help her calm her nerves and her head, helping her state of mind to be in the right mood

If she needs help, assist if you can and have the resources

Lastly, don't give her chances in your marriage but don't be hard on her

Be firm and accomodating

People are going to call you ungrateful since she's caring and did her best to provide, but....and whilst I understand that her behaviour is a result of frustration, bad temper and nagging aside, she threw a knife at you before, this isn't normal and not something to just be swept under the rug, even if it's an isolated incident.

I always stress that people are not one dimensional, she can be a caring mother who provides and have traits of an abuser at the same time. Your matter is kind of difficult because Nigerians have a habit of dismissing abuse as long as the parent caters financially, to add to this your own mum is even caring, I understand the pressures she's faced but we can't ALWAYS use this as a reason to excuse unhealthy parental practices...like throwing a knife at your child. It's definitely a sticky one....

To be fair, I appreciate that you may not be able to narrate your entire life story, but I don't know the full, intricate details of what went down in your household, as far as what your faults may be etc

ayobamiJR:

I'm so impressed. I'd try to think about it but one thing is, do you justify abuse on children?

To ur question bro, i dont justify abuse on children in any way. But note this.


I read where u mentioned US the other tym, i was like this one don watch us film taya.

Africa mothers are the best, the way they raise children is top notch, its cus u hav bn watching Hollywood movies dat is why u tagged it an abuse, here in africa its not an abuse

My mother once used firewood pursue me sotey, as she realized she couldn't catch up with me, she threw it at me

She beat me with broom, omorogun, iro aso(rapper) metal plate, metal tray, peg and d likes, but today am happy bn brought up well, tho i didn't leave with her for long before we part ways.


Sparing the children of today is what has brought about this high level of societal decadence, halfbaked simps calling themselves men, useless female children who doesnt know what to do in a home but bn coming here to claim equality and dependency.

Just live ur mother the way she is, according to ur narration, we can deduced dat she tried alot and she passed tru depression,

Now u re his joy, happiness and everything and it wil b better u dont turn out to b another nightmare for her again.

Unfortunately. No one judged by listening to ME (the other party). It would be so foolish to assume that this is our life story in details, Nah.

I had even written a movie script that is yet to be produced with this story and it sure make sense and inside the story, I was busy glorifying mother's love but I sure as hell knew that children are not meant to be subjected to sufferings.

Did I even tell you how she stopped sponsoring my school at a time?

Or did I tell you how she maltreated me when she remarried in another mans house?

Did I tell you how she misdirected my own life with a bit of her promiscuity?

Did I tell you of the day that she showered me curses for almost 1 hour because I said I've rented an apartment and I can't stay with her anymore?

Don't think I'm an ungrateful child cos I bought my mom mobile phones, paid her salaries for not even working for me, took great care of her when she's down.

She might have sold me. Yeah and I might just end up with some rich nigga. Cos at a point in time, just like typical African parents, she stopped doing things and withdraw the love when I clocked 17.

Not to make excuses. Abuse in any form is bad. But.....
If you try to reflect on why she behaved the way she did, you would most likely find it easier to forgive her. Most people behave the way they do because they don't know better. My guess is that she was like that due to frustration.

You have removed yourself from that situation. Try to make sure you never get into it again. You don't have to be her bestie but don't forget to be there for her as she was there for you. Remember she was there for you when no one was.

Acidosis:


Your mama suppose dey for Hague (The detection centre of the International Criminal Court)


This not parenting but witchcraft

So what do we call a mama that didn't teach her kids to mind their business? I no beg you for endorsement no make me call your mama ashi

I understand you completely.
Those calling you ungrateful have not lived that life.
That was her idea of parenting and it is sad that we pass off being physically and emotionally abusive as good parenting.
.
She's family and you should take care of her needs as much as you can.
You will notice that as she grows older, she will be less angry and more lonely.
Call once in a while to check on her, and provide for her needs.
With time, you will feel less anger/resentment.

ayobamiJR:
Unfortunately. No one judged by listening to ME (the other party). It would be so foolish to assume that this is our life story in details, Nah.

I had even written a movie script that is yet to be produced with this story and it sure make sense and inside the story, I was busy glorifying mother's love but I sure as hell knew that children are not meant to be subjected to sufferings.

Did I even tell you how she stopped sponsoring my school at a time?

Or did I tell you how she maltreated me when she remarried in another mans house?

Did I tell you how she misdirected my own life with a bit of her promiscuity?

Did I tell you of the day that she showered me curses for almost 1 hour because I said I've rented an apartment and I can't stay with her anymore?

Don't think I'm an ungrateful child cos I bought my mom mobile phones, paid her salaries for not even working for me, took great care of her when she's down.

She might have sold me. Yeah and I might just end up with some rich nigga. Cos at a point in time, just like typical African parents, she stopped doing things and withdraw the love when I clocked 17.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


To this, i tink we have to summon the elders, what if all wat u said are nothing but the truth nko??

This one pass my power


Abeg lalasticlala show face abeg, Dominique, mynd44 who else??

Shibaraba:

So what do we call a mama that didn't teach her kids to mind their business? I no beg you for endorsement no make me call your mama ashi

Whatever you call my mama won't change nada.

Question is were you abused as a child? YES, based on your narratives

You don't have to be her bestie biko. Provide for her needs and call once in a while to check up on her. You owe her that.

Yes she took care of you and so did many other widows who took charge after their partners passed. It is no excuse to abuse a child. Abuse is abuse.

Acidosis:


Whatever you call my mama won't change nada.

Question is were you abused as a child? YES, based on your narratives

Hehehe.. . Naughty boy. Happy quarantine

OlawaleBammie:


To ur question bro, i dont justify abuse on children in any way. But note this.


I read where u mentioned US the other tym, i was like this one don watch us film taya.

Africa mothers are the best, the way they raise children is top notch, its cus u hav bn watching Hollywood movies dat is why u tagged it an abuse, here in africa its not an abuse

My mother once used firewood pursue me sotey, as she realized she couldn't catch up with me, she threw it at me

She beat me with broom, omorogun, iro aso(rapper) metal plate, metal tray, peg and d likes, but today am happy bn brought up well, tho i didn't leave with her for long before we part ways.


Sparing the children of today is what has brought about this high level of societal decadence, halfbaked simps calling themselves men, useless female children who doesnt know what to do in a home but bn coming here to claim equality and dependency.

Just live ur mother the way she is, according to ur narration, we can deduced dat she tried alot and she passed tru depression,

Now u re his joy, happiness and everything and it wil b better u dont turn out to b another nightmare for her again.

complete bullshit. all of these children you are referring to were brought up on the so called African discipline. the yahoo boys, runs girls - etal are mostly from very poor backgrounds where they will literally beat children to death. the leaders of this country, who rob us blind, who have no empathy, were all brought up with the rod.

all the my parents beating made me what i am is anecdotal.

what is a fact is that this is a country where people have no qualms about swindling, murdering, kidnapping.

if anything, i would say that using beating is what makes nigerians lower animals who will only respond to violence and nothing else.

the beatings from childhood have configured most nigerians to be bullies. why are our soldiers thugs who consider themselves above the law? why will danfo drivers block the road unless some one comes at them with a whip? because that is the conditioning of beating. people cannot think coherently or logically. we only respect violence.

Emotional/psychological abuse of children. It's a very conflicting situation for children.

This is entirely different from physical 'discipline' (the African style) which many people here are using as examples to castigate the OP

Sorry about that.

OlawaleBammie:
U re just talking like a small pikin.

Do u tink its easy raising children all alone?

Do u tink about she shame she faced after ur papa's demise?

Do u know the kind of allegations she was subjected to which led to the retrieval of ur father's properties by his families??

Can u count how many days she had to sleep with empty stomach just to face her responsibilities (u and ur sister)

Do u tink its easy moving from one location to another??

Do u tink its easy trying to provide necessities for u just for u to b equal with ur mates?

Do u tink its easy facing abuse from ur husband's family? Am sure she faced it.

Av u sat down and tinn about how troublesome u could be? Dont tell me u re not while growing up.

Do u think about how depressed she is? Even in depression she was stil there for u and ur sisters.

Do u know how hostile one can b why depressed??

Do u know what she had to cope with just to feed u, pay bills and other necessaries??
Am very sure one day she was deep in thought and u came with ur usual wahala, dat is why she threw u knife, not dat she wanted to but u and depression caused it.

Its a pity u didn't see her one of those nights wen she was crying alone cus u were deep asleep. She needed a helping hand but non showed up, instead she was denied of her husband's properties. This alone may make her hate u guys u know!!!

Its a pity u re putin her into sword again tru ur actions and inactions.


U BETTER APPRECIATE HER FOR NOT TAKING THE DECISION TO SELL UR SISTER ON EBAY TO LIBYA AND TRANSFER U TRU DHL TO COTONOU

and she transferred all the aggression and frustration to the children. if i grow older and my parents are dependent on me and i have a bad day at work - does that entitle me to treat them like shit?

ornicus:


complete bullshit. all of these children you are referring to were brought up on the so called African discipline. the yahoo boys, runs girls - etal are mostly from very poor backgrounds where they will literally beat children to death. the leaders of this country, who rob us blind, who have no empathy, were all brought up with the rod.

all the my parents beating made me what i am is anecdotal.

what is a fact is that this is a country where people have no qualms about swindling, murdering, kidnapping.

if anything, i would say that using beating is what makes nigerians lower animals who will only respond to violence and nothing else.

the beatings from childhood have configured most nigerians to be bullies. why are our soldiers thugs who consider themselves above the law? why will danfo drivers block the road unless some one comes at them with a whip? because that is the conditioning of beating. people cannot think coherently or logically. we only respect violence.

See oga, na wetin i know i talk, and na wetin u know u galk as well, to each of his own abi how dem dey take talk am.

ornicus:


complete bullshit. all of these children you are referring to were brought up on the so called African discipline. the yahoo boys, runs girls - etal are mostly from very poor backgrounds where they will literally beat children to death. the leaders of this country, who rob us blind, who have no empathy, were all brought up with the rod.

all the my parents beating made me what i am is anecdotal.

what is a fact is that this is a country where people have no qualms about swindling, murdering, kidnapping.

if anything, i would say that using beating is what makes nigerians lower animals who will only respond to violence and nothing else.

the beatings from childhood have configured most nigerians to be bullies. why are our soldiers thugs who consider themselves above the law? why will danfo drivers block the road unless some one comes at them with a whip? because that is the conditioning of beating. people cannot think coherently or logically. we only respect violence.

wait first, are u a male or female??