Well, no one wants a women who has no source of income. Personally I would not advice any woman to b totally dependent on any man.

its funny how so many men on this thread are saying that if they find a great woman, educated, intelligent that matches what they are seeking in a mate.... but because she may be unemployed at that point in her life, they will dismiss her as a possible life mate?!?!?!?!?!?

you gotta focus on the foundation of that person, her character, her lifestyle, her being.... and nothing else. anyone can lose a good job.

I agree with you op. Before I went for my NYSC there is a married old man in my area that gave me an advice that during NYSC there will always be opportunity but people do fail to see it. That's it's after NYSC people will be realising those opportunities they've missed. I payed careful attention to this warning by making sure I applied for every opportunity coming my way then. Even some that required NYSC certificate and it worked for me. Fast forward to after my NYSC, I went back to thank him for the advice. He now said he'll offer me another one. I said I'm listening He said "never marry a lady that is not earning any income to complement you". He said it's very important I keep to it. The man must have been talking from experience. Am still holding on to this advice. It's the truth. It's not easy to be taking care of all your immediate family and some of the extended families needs coupled with some unforeseen contingencies during this period. It's a suicidal mission!

Kfaaji:
I agree with you op. Before I went for my NYSC there is a married old man in my area that gave me an advice that during NYSC there will always be opportunity but people do fail to see it. That's it's after NYSC people will be realising those opportunities they've missed. I payed careful attention to this warning by making sure I applied for every opportunity coming my way then. Even some that required NYSC certificate and it worked for me. Fast forward to after my NYSC, I went back to thank him for the advice. He now said he'll offer me another one. I said I'm listening He said "never marry a lady that is not earning any income to complement you". He said it's very important I keep to it. The man must have been talking from experience. Am still holding on to this advice. It's the truth. It's not easy to be taking care of all your immediate family and some of the extended families needs coupled with some unforeseen contingencies during this period. It's a suicidal mission!

That man must have seen life

The major thing is that, especially we black people, we are susceptible to the Black tax i.e expenses from extended family members.
The honest feeling is: "I can handle taking care of my parents, but why do I have to still be taking care of hers?"
Especially if they are the type that hungrily went in on you and collected "flenty" money during wedding list matters.

Those expenses for her side should come from her own income.

2buffagain:
Gentlemen. The reality of living in the 20th century has changed, and so must every notion formed from previous days that no longer hold weight today.

Women are not the only ones who should be asking what you do.
You should also be asking her what she does....and guaging her wifeability from her response.
Nobody likes to suffer...yourself included. So why sign up for a lifetime of every financial request of your immediate family (and possibly both your extended families ) coming to just you alone?

Gone are the days where families survived on one income alone.
Those days, houses in Nigeria used to cost #5M or less.
These same houses now cost well over #30M.
I can bet your income did not also inflate 6x over the same time.

The reality is that you need a wife who also brings something home, and honestly it should hopefully be around the same (or more God willing) of what you pull in.
This way one person's income can cover the family stuff and the other person's income goes towards savings/investments/emergencies/joblessness buffering/ etc. Your family will go farther and you can even both retire earlier if this is done right.

Also Naija guys please, have some respect for yourself.
If you meet a girl and she has the mental configuration of always wanting money from you, just know that is not the one.
As a sister here once said, "A girl who truly likes you, won't ask you for money...unless it's bad and you are her last resort."
Na woman talk am. Believe that sister. Peep that one game from her, and most of you will be alright.
If a girl really likes you, she'll be too busy trying to think of ways to be an asset to your life or impress you...not a taker.

Get you a girl who makes her money with a good source of income and who understands that her income is to be included in plans.

You have been told.
You should be done with your broke girl phase right about now ^{(much like how women should be done with their bad boy stage).}
It does nothing for your life.

NOTE: I am not saying go and marry an idiot because she makes money....obviously.
You are still looking for a good wife, who just ALSO happens to be equipped with income and/or good income prospects.

you sound that a freeloader and a liability. What a disgrace!!

MrBrownJay1:
its funny how so many men on this thread are saying that if they find a great woman, educated, intelligent that matches what they are seeking in a mate.... but because she may be unemployed at that point in her life, they will dismiss her as a possible life mate?!?!?!?!?!?

you gotta focus on the foundation of that person, her character, her lifestyle, her being.... and nothing else. anyone can lose a good job.

In this age of ‘equality’, would any woman marry a man who ticks all the right boxes but not the financial one?

In my opinion, marriage in today’s world is severely overrated. Overcalculation squeezes the fun out of any venture.

funmisticqueen2:
you sound that a freeloader and a liability. What a disgrace!!

Sounding daft as always. How can one person be ugly, stupid and bitter at the same time? What kind of misfortune is that one?

Belafonte:
In this age of ‘equality’, would any woman marry a man who ticks all the right boxes but not the financial one?

in this age of woman being intelligent and educated, of course they will... unless of course you are talking about useless good for nothing slay queen that have nothing to offer a man but a warm coochie.
REMEMBER a man may be broke AFTER paying the rent/bills/food etc and that certainly does not make him a poor dude....far from it!

In my opinion, marriage in today’s world is severely overrated. Overcalculation squeezes the fun out of any venture.

i dont believe it is... it only is in Africa/Nigeria etc where marriage is a do or die mission. thus many are marrying donkeys not because they want to spend the rest of their natural life with their loved one, BUT SIMPLY BECAUSE thats what society/family/religion/friends etc demands of them.

there should be no overcalculation here... you find someone, she ticks all the natural foundation/character/desire that you need in a mate, and you you guys settle to spend the rest of your lives together. having a job is irrelevant, so long as she is intelligent/educated and actively seeking for employment.

Belafonte:


Sounding daft as always. How can one person be ugly, stupid and bitter at the same time? What kind of misfortune is that one?

it's not good to talk about yourself in this fashion. Are you that depressed?

MrBrownJay1:


in this age of woman being intelligent and educated, of course they will... unless of course you are talking about useless good for nothing slay queen that have nothing to offer a man but a warm coochie.
REMEMBER a man may be broke AFTER paying the rent/bills/food etc and that certainly does not make him a poor dude....far from it!



i dont believe it is... it only is in Africa/Nigeria etc where marriage is a do or die mission. thus many are marrying donkeys not because they want to spend the rest of their natural life with their loved one, BUT SIMPLY BECAUSE thats what society/family/religion/friends etc demands of them.

there should be no overcalculation here... you find someone, she ticks all the natural foundation/character/desire that you need in a mate, and you you guys settle to spend the rest of your lives together. having a job is irrelevant, so long as she is intelligent/educated and actively seeking for employment.

Yup. prospects/potential

I hope you won't rush to do DNA tests for the kids sha. Someone who needs to share the expenses may have to do much to get her boss to give her bonuses and promotions.

And as bosses do not normally appreciate hard work in their women staff, additional overtime might be necessary to secure that raise; skin to skin.

I really cannot understand why a man will want a woman to take over his role. This feminist idea is really taking root in the psyches of men.

2buffagain:
Yup. prospects/potential

... yet you were adamant earlier that she needs INCOME and you were quick to write:

2buffagain:
You can't even run some very necessary, idiot-proofing diagnostic tests on a female prior to marrying her, if she doesn't have income. How will you know for sure that she is not of the "My money is mine and your money is ours" idiocy category? The type of idiot that will rather "borrow" you money in a rough patch to pay rent/mortgage for a house she ALSO lives in.

so how can you run your above "idiot proofing diagnostic test" if she is an educated/intelligent woman (with no income) actively seeking employment?!?!?!?

funmisticqueen2:
you sound that a freeloader and a liability. What a disgrace!!

...
U are a bigger disgrace if this is the only thing u could make from his post...

MrBrownJay1:


... yet you were adamant earlier that she needs INCOME and you were quick to write:



so how can you run your above "idiot proofing diagnostic test" if she is an educated/intelligent woman (with no income) actively seeking employment?!?!?!?

Prospects and potential are "okay" to go off of.
Testing is and will always be better.
I still prefer to observe a woman's actions than just hear her talking about what she would do in scenarios.

2buffagain:
Gentlemen. The reality of living in the 20th century has changed, and so must every notion formed from previous days that no longer hold weight today.

Women are not the only ones who should be asking what you do.
You should also be asking her what she does....and guaging her wifeability from her response.
Nobody likes to suffer...yourself included. So why sign up for a lifetime of every financial request of your immediate family (and possibly both your extended families ) coming to just you alone?

Gone are the days where families survived on one income alone.
Those days, houses in Nigeria used to cost #5M or less.
These same houses now cost well over #30M.
I can bet your income did not also inflate 6x over the same time.

The reality is that you need a wife who also brings something home, and honestly it should hopefully be around the same (or more God willing) of what you pull in.
This way one person's income can cover the family stuff and the other person's income goes towards savings/investments/emergencies/joblessness buffering/ etc. Your family will go farther and you can even both retire earlier if this is done right.

Also Naija guys please, have some respect for yourself.
If you meet a girl and she has the mental configuration of always wanting money from you, just know that is not the one.
As a sister here once said, "A girl who truly likes you, won't ask you for money...unless it's bad and you are her last resort."
Na woman talk am. Believe that sister. Peep that one game from her, and most of you will be alright.
If a girl really likes you, she'll be too busy trying to think of ways to be an asset to your life or impress you...not a taker.

Get you a girl who makes her money with a good source of income and who understands that her income is to be included in plans.

You have been told.
You should be done with your broke girl phase right about now ^{(much like how women should be done with their bad boy stage).}
It does nothing for your life.

NOTE: I am not saying go and marry an idiot because she makes money....obviously.
You are still looking for a good wife, who just ALSO happens to be equipped with income and/or good income prospects.

NIce point.
She should also be a giver and not a receiver, very key

RisenPhoenix:
I hope you won't rush to do DNA tests for the kids sha. Someone who needs to share the expenses may have to do much to get her boss to give her bonuses and promotions.

And bosses do not normally appreciate hard work in their women staff, additional overtime might be necessary to secure that raise; skin to skin.

I really cannot understand why a man will want a woman to take over his role. This feminist idea is really taking root in the psyches of men.

As a high earner, I think a good configuration is to have one person pull steady income which we budget with, and the other person be entrepreneurial so that person brings in burst money e.g Real Estate, sales, etc. Big (and I mean big) money drops that are not limited by salary/raises etc.

2buffagain:


As a high earner, I think a good configuration is to have one person pull steady income which we budget with, and the other person be entrepreneurial so that person brings in burst money e.g Real Estate, sales, etc. Big (and I mean big) money drops that are not limited by salary/raises etc.

The same person can have two income streams. It is not necessary that one should have the steady income and the other should invest. The man can; and should; do both.

And entrepreneurship does not preclude a woman from being forced/tempted to use her enticements. She will still need to obtain favours from men in the form of contracts, connections etc.

RisenPhoenix:


The same person can have two income streams. It is not necessary that one should have the steady income and the other should invest. The man can; and should; do both.

And entrepreneurship does not preclude a woman from being forced/tempted to use her enticements. She will still need to obtain favours from men in the form of contracts, connections etc.

The more the merrier, but as to the bolded.

Lol I guess your mind is made up that the only way a woman can make something of herself outside the home is by thoting.

For your sake bro, I hope you stay in Africa/Middle East and never entertain any plan to live outside of those areas. This your mindset will cause you problems anywhere else.

2buffagain:


Lol I guess your mind is made up that the only way a woman can make something of herself outside the home is by thoting.

For your sake bro, I hope you stay in Africa/Middle East and never entertain any plan to live outside of those areas. This your mindset will cause you problems anywhere else.

Women are the same worldwide, and bosses are the same worldwide too. I've seen for myself firsthand.

You are only trying to justify your desire to rely on your wife's contribution to what should rightly be your own responsibility.

Yes, I know that it will cause me problems elsewhere, which is why I will always remain in Nigeria despite having dual citizenship. But my view being unpopular among the Western simp culture does not make it wrong.

2buffagain:


The more the merrier, but as to the bolded.

Lol I guess your mind is made up that the only way a woman can make something of herself outside the home is by thoting.

For your sake bro, I hope you stay in Africa/Middle East and never entertain any plan to live outside of those areas. This your mindset will cause you problems anywhere else.

I’d say most women thot or would thot to make ends meet or meet set targets. It’s a firmly held belief of mine that has proven true more often than not.

MrBrownJay1:


in this age of woman being intelligent and educated, of course they will... unless of course you are talking about useless good for nothing slay queen that have nothing to offer a man but a warm coochie.
REMEMBER a man may be broke AFTER paying the rent/bills/food etc and that certainly does not make him a poor dude....far from it!



i dont believe it is... it only is in Africa/Nigeria etc where marriage is a do or die mission. thus many are marrying donkeys not because they want to spend the rest of their natural life with their loved one, BUT SIMPLY BECAUSE thats what society/family/religion/friends etc demands of them.

there should be no overcalculation here... you find someone, she ticks all the natural foundation/character/desire that you need in a mate, and you you guys settle to spend the rest of your lives together. having a job is irrelevant, so long as she is intelligent/educated and actively seeking for employment.

I, personally, wouldn’t marry a woman who spends too much time out of the home. I believe whatever energies she expends working to build someone else’s business would be put to better use in the home.

However, I can also appreciate OP’s points. To each, their own

Belafonte:
I, personally, wouldn’t marry a woman who spends too much time out of the home.

like a biz owner, a doctor, lawyer, architect, engineer etc... that kind of woman?!? so what should she do at home all day? watch telemundo?!

Belafonte:


I’d say most women thot or would thot to make ends meet or meet set targets. It’s a firmly held belief of mine that has proven true more often than not.

*Some* women. Not most.

If it's "most" then that's possibly a naija factor where there is no such thing as worker's rights or really justice of any kind that does not involve money or sex.

RisenPhoenix:


Women are the same worldwide, and bosses are the same worldwide too. I've seen for myself firsthand.

You are only trying to justify your desire to rely on your wife's contribution to what should rightly be your own responsibility.

Yes, I know that it will cause me problems elsewhere, which is why I will always remain in Nigeria despite having dual citizenship. But my view being unpopular among the Western simp culture does not make it wrong.

You do realize that the actual definition of a simp is a man who feels he needs to pay for everything about a woman, right?

With natural game, you can have a financially contributing wife and STILL have your respect.

MrBrownJay1:


like a biz owner, a doctor, lawyer, architect, engineer etc... that kind of woman?!? so what should she do at home all day? watch telemundo?!

There are millions of women who aren’t doctors, etc, who don’t spend their days watching telemundo

2buffagain:


*Some* women. Not most.

If it's "most" then that's possibly a naija factor where there is no such thing as worker's rights or really justice of any kind that does not involve money or sex.

I’m talking about women offering wetness to get ahead, not even being harassed here.

Belafonte:
There are millions of women who aren’t doctors, etc, who don’t spend their days watching telemundo

pls enlighten me then because majority of EMPLOYED WOMEN go to work in the morning and come back home at night....so what type of working women (that dont spend too much time outside the home) are you talking about?! what specific job are you talking about?

Belafonte:


I’m talking about women offering wetness to get ahead, not even being harassed here.

In certain parts of the world, it would be far easier for the woman to get ahead if, upon any on-toward approach by her boss, she sues the company for multiples of her salary. Even if she gave green/mixed signals

Much easier on the back and the kitty, wouldn't you say?
Unless it's one of those morally questionable industries like entertainment, only a foolish man today in those countries would exchange business for sex with any female. He basically becomes her bitch after that.
Far cheaper to simply go relieve his sexual appetites with a prostitute... If he no longer sends his wife like that.

Again, Naija factor is what makes your experience on that subject a "most" and not a "some".

lalasticlala can we get some front page love on this thread?

2buffagain:


You do know that the actual definition of a simp is a man who feels he needs to pay for everything about a woman, right?

With natural game, you can have a financially contributing wife and STILL have your respect.

No.

A simp is one who is subservient to women, does not understand their manipulations and puts them on a pedestal. One way of doing this is by giving in to the feminist idea of role blurring, which is what your method leads to. If she has to contribute financially, then her work is as important as yours, so you have no moral right to consider yourself as the head of the family, nor can you shirk equally being responsible for roles that are traditionally hers like child nurture and housework; this is straight out of feminism 101.

Having a financially contributing wife automatically disqualifies you from any respect in marriage. Only pimps and players make money off women and they can only sustain it for a short while, and tend to use fear and addictions more often than game; also it only works on damaged women. An alpha male does not shirk responsibility; ever. He also has too much pride in his abilities to sponge off a mere female. Do you think alphas like Donald Trump, Aliko Dangote or Ned Nwoko for example squabble over who pays the home expenses with their wives?

MrBrownJay1:


pls enlighten me then because majority of EMPLOYED WOMEN go to work in the morning and come back home at night....so what type of working women (that dont spend too much time outside the home) are you talking about?! what specific job are you talking about?

Women who run home businesses or run businesses from home.

2buffagain:


In certain parts of the world, it would be far easier for the woman to get ahead if, upon any on-toward approach by her boss, she sews the company for multiples of her salary. Even if she gave mixed signals

Much easier on the back and the kitty, wouldn't you say?

Again, Naija factor is what makes your experience on that subject a "most" and not a "some".

Isn’t that the default in crazy situations? Do conquerors not take the wives and daughters of their conquests for wives? It is what it is. The nature will always play out when push comes to shove.

Even your ‘negotiation-in-the-west’ despite the woman being a SAHM is still women reverting to type and taking full advantage of the situation they find themselves. Bring same women here and they’d do no better.