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How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? - Family - Nairaland

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How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by shekhaz(f): 12:52am On Apr 04, 2020
I opened this thread to get views and advice from my fellow women who are in my shoes. I got married in 2012 and we are blessed with two lovely kids. My husband had always travel even before we got married. But last year he decided to stay back to work his way to getting green card. I have been trying to manage his absence by keeping busy with work and the kids. But covid 19 is making everything difficult now. Often times I have always cried myself to sleep at night. I never saw myself living in this situation but these past few weeks has been hell. Presently I have insomnia, I miss him so much I think I might break down soon. I don't know what to do anymore. He never takes me seriously when I cry to him. He believes I am not being emotionally strong since it will only be for a short while.
I know I can't be alone in this. Please I need advise from women who have been in this situation. How did you cope? Are you guys together now? How did deal with the kids when they miss their daddy?
Thank you for your input

1 Like

Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by Betakeshi: 12:58am On Apr 04, 2020
You'll be alright.

12 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by Ladylite: 1:09am On Apr 04, 2020
shekhaz:
I opened this thread to get views and advice from my fellow women who are in my shoes. I got married in 2012 and we are blessed with two lovely kids. My husband had always travel even before we got married. But last year he decided to stay back to work his way to getting green card. I have been trying to manage his absence by keeping busy with work and the kids. But covid 19 is making everything difficult now. Often times I have always cried myself to sleep at night. I never saw myself living in this situation but these past few weeks has been hell. Presently I have insomnia, I miss him so much I think I might break down soon. I don't know what to do anymore. He never takes me seriously when I cry to him. He believes I am not being emotionally strong since it will only be for a short while.
I know I can't be alone in this. Please I need advise from women who have been in this situation. How did you cope? Are you guys together now? How did deal with the kids when they miss their daddy?
Thank you for your input

Am in the UK and I know how you feel.

Sadly you can't seem to see the bitter truth. A man who really cares will be there. True love always finds a way.

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by Boston001(m): 1:47am On Apr 04, 2020
I can relate to you very well. My family are in Nigeria and I am an American due to situation beyond my control o have not been able to travel home recently. For one thing video chat and constant communication makes it easy. The digital romance is fun and they are well provided for too.
Talk to your husband to make it fun

3 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by GboyegaD(m): 2:13am On Apr 04, 2020
Just keep communicating as much as you can. One of the challenges though is you can't tell how quick the paper process will take. It might take years and it might be months. Just keep yourself busy and hope hos paperwork comes through quick enough.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by dawnomike(m): 2:17am On Apr 04, 2020
You are really in a big pair of shoes and so many women are going through the same as you are... You are not alone.
Speak with friends/family to sometimes come around and help with the kids or get a house help to help out with the workload. The Lord is your strength

2 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by APOPTOSIS: 2:46am On Apr 04, 2020
My Uncle experienced similar issue.
Not easy at all.
And you said he is yet to get his green card..?
That's more years oo.
Do more VIDEO CALLS.
U need DaTa to actualize that.
He won't come in any time soon as long as he is fighting for his Green Card in the USUS, which will in return benefit you and your kids.
Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by Nobody: 2:49am On Apr 04, 2020
I'm sorry about your situation. Try to make him understand your plight
Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by Nobody: 7:11am On Apr 04, 2020
If I tell you the probable truth about the situation you guys are in now, you can't handle it from the way you sound so I advise you make more of video calls and keep hoping for the best.

4 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by crackkhaus: 8:01am On Apr 04, 2020
At least you're not complaining of being sex-starved and fighting the temptations to cheat. This is usually the issue with people in long distance marriages.

You will be fine.

15 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by Depriest2020: 8:51am On Apr 04, 2020
I don't know if it's sex you miss most about him? If it is, then I advise you be collecting from your ex till he comes back. But don't forget to apologise to him.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by Acidosis(m): 8:58am On Apr 04, 2020
Do regular video calls. You'll be fine

1 Like

Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by AmbitiousDrama7: 9:28am On Apr 04, 2020
I can make you feel alright all you need is.....
Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by bukatyne(f): 9:53am On Apr 04, 2020
shekhaz:
I opened this thread to get views and advice from my fellow women who are in my shoes. I got married in 2012 and we are blessed with two lovely kids. My husband had always travel even before we got married. But last year he decided to stay back to work his way to getting green card. I have been trying to manage his absence by keeping busy with work and the kids. But covid 19 is making everything difficult now. Often times I have always cried myself to sleep at night. I never saw myself living in this situation but these past few weeks has been hell. Presently I have insomnia, I miss him so much I think I might break down soon. I don't know what to do anymore. He never takes me seriously when I cry to him. He believes I am not being emotionally strong since it will only be for a short while.
I know I can't be alone in this. Please I need advise from women who have been in this situation. How did you cope? Are you guys together now? How did deal with the kids when they miss their daddy?
Thank you for your input

What changed this COVID-19?

How do you behave when he is around that he does not really believe you miss him?
Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by bukatyne(f): 9:53am On Apr 04, 2020
Depriest2020:
I don't know if it's sex you miss most about him? If it is, then I advise you be collecting from your ex till he comes back. But don't forget to apologise to him.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by freecocoahubby(m): 9:57am On Apr 04, 2020
Ladylite:


Am in the UK and I know how you feel.

Sadly you can't seem to see the bitter truth. A man who really cares will be there. True love always finds a way.

Not when borders are now closed! Abi what is this one saying undecided

9 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by shekhaz(f): 10:41am On Apr 04, 2020
GboyegaD:
Just keep communicating as much as you can. One of the challenges though is you can't tell how quick the paper process will take. It might take years and it might be months. Just keep yourself busy and hope hos paperwork comes through quick enough.

Thank you, we do lots of video chat everyday though. But him not being around is the challenge. The kids always want to see him
Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by shekhaz(f): 10:42am On Apr 04, 2020
Depriest2020:
I don't know if it's sex you miss most about him? If it is, then I advise you be collecting from your ex till he comes back. But don't forget to apologise to him.
Really
How can you say this?
Please I only asked for input from women in my shoes. If you've got nothing good to say, better you don't comment

13 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by thorpido(m): 10:43am On Apr 04, 2020
Constant communication will help you.Do video calls regularly with him.
Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by shekhaz(f): 10:45am On Apr 04, 2020
Boston001:
I can relate to you very well. My family are in Nigeria and I am an American due to situation beyond my control o have not been able to travel home recently. For one thing video chat and constant communication makes it easy. The digital romance is fun and they are well provided for too.
Talk to your husband to make it fun
Thank you, we do video chat. It really helps but the reality of everything just set in now that we are all alone at home. When I go to work, I deal with the loneliness at night. But now it's becoming unbearable. We usually do stuffs together when we are both home. Doing everything by myself now
Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by shekhaz(f): 10:49am On Apr 04, 2020
dawnomike:
In are really in a pair of shoes and so many women are going through the same as you are... You are not alone.
Speak with friends/family to sometimes come around and help with the kids or get a house help to help out with the workload. The Lord is your strength
You know women around me believe I am lucky. That after all no man to cook for every time. And he will be sending us money regularly to cater for our needs. See why I came here for different views. I am an emotional person I guess that's why I am like this. The house chores is not even a bother, I just miss having him around. Thank you for your kind words

6 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by shekhaz(f): 10:52am On Apr 04, 2020
bukatyne:


What changed this COVID-19?

How do you behave when he is around that he does not really believe you miss him?
I didn't say he doesn't believe I miss him. The lock down with nothing to do aside take care of the kids makes me miss his companionship.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by shekhaz(f): 10:58am On Apr 04, 2020
AmbitiousDrama7:
I can make you feel alright all you need is.....
Don't send me any private message pls. Post your advice here or keep it to yourself. Thank you

15 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by bukatyne(f): 11:19am On Apr 04, 2020
shekhaz:

I didn't say he doesn't believe I miss him. The lock down with nothing to do aside take care of the kids makes me miss his companionship.

You said he doesn't take you seriously.

I believe you meant he is teasing you.

Sorry about the loneliness, there not much you can do than video calls others have suggested.

If you also go through activities together, it would help.

For instance, if you do the kids' assignment together, initiate a call or he does and banter through the assignments together.

Please stay strong.

4 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by bukatyne(f): 11:21am On Apr 04, 2020
Ladylite:


Am in the UK and I know how you feel.

Sadly you can't seem to see the bitter truth. A man who really cares will be there. True love always finds a way.

Really?

How would her husband be there?

2 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by GboyegaD(m): 11:54am On Apr 04, 2020
shekhaz:


Thank you, we do lots of video chat everyday though. But him not being around is the challenge. The kids always want to see him

Get them to video chat with him. For the now, just try to be strong for the family. It is challenging however, I do not know how best to advise beyond telling you to stay strong. I pray for grace for you.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by otipoju(m): 12:57pm On Apr 04, 2020
It's a long road ahead. I can't say all I know. To avoid this kind of situation is why I chose not to marry until I traveled. I can't be having to call one woman and children every day and not being able to go see them. When I want to.

Ask him about Advance parole though. But most times you dont want to leave until you get the green card.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by emmaodet: 1:21pm On Apr 04, 2020
Are you a lawyer ? Based in sagamu? Because from what you wrote up there, it seems you are someone i know.
Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by missimelda01(f): 2:03pm On Apr 04, 2020
Op you're trying, I think you should talk to him about it, since there's a lockdown he should be able to spend more time with you and the kids. I can't cope in such relationships honestly.

2 Likes

Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by AmbitiousDrama7: 3:03pm On Apr 04, 2020
shekhaz:

Don't send me any private message pls. Post your advice here or keep it to yourself. Thank you

Oh well but think about it you deserve better, your children needs a Dad not just a father
Re: How Do You Cope Alone With Husband In The US? by belcom10(m): 10:05pm On Apr 04, 2020
May God see you through, stay strong.

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