There is no manual or operating procedures when it comes to relationship or marriage.

It is best you do whatever you believe in and be ready to bear the consequences of your action.

One secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...it is a mystery so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

@ the bolded is not true cos ive tried severally to develop feelings for one or two good guys I felt would make a perfect spouse but it just didn't click. And it took me years trying to see if there's a way I can build the love for these guys, or feel something for them but same same.
You can't really force this feelings or develop it yourself, it won't work. This things happen naturally and if it not there, it not there. That is why most marriages are having problems today because you have people advising you saying, " you can build love, love grows in marriage, just marry the man first and love will come later" jaggons. If it actually works like that, then it would have happened for me when I tried forcing it for those guys I talked about earlier.

Feeling is something you can't control. That is why when you feel something for someone, you can't control how fast it grows until it reaches a peak where it becomes a threat. Likewise you dont have the power to control your feelings and make it grow for someone it doesn't click with. It's a natural phenomenon beyond every living being.

Please let not be misguided.
I believe in true love with genuine feelings and that is what covers all sins. As in no matter what the person does to you, you still want to be with them.

It took me 4 years after my ex to fall in love again. And this new guy is a Nairalander. Yes! And this happened within a few weeks. But we had a little misunderstanding and I was heartbroken to which I confided in a guy here about how I felt. So he asked me, how long have I dated this new guy that the love hurts so badly. I told him just a few weeks and he went wow! Like is it not too early to love so deeply?
Now I didn't realized that my feelings had grown so fast and so deep for this guy until he mentioned it and I paused to think but realized its not my fault! Its how nature works and we can't control these things.

Love is as much a choice as it is a feeling. It could leave you feeling overpowered but then it is what it is-a choice. You can train your brain to love as much as to hate or feel indifferent to someone. Especially when you focus on values you cherish in a lover and place them side by side with the man in your life.
The problem with most of us females is that we're quite unrealistic. You say you want a man who treats you right yet you follow after the one who maltreats you like a little puppy. Only to end up heartbroken and embittered towards men.
Here's the test of true love: True love stands the test of time.

Omar09:


I don't know if you were actually conscious when you posted this. I mean you are asking women to reprogram themselves, and to do things for themselves. You are asking women to pause their emotions the thing they live and strive on, their skill? C'mon man, it's not possible. They'd rather die than do that. You don't tell a specie to not act on how nature built it. If you had asked men not to be emotional then I'd say you asked them to leave a terrain that's not theirs unto one which is theirs "logic".

I'm a woman , and I am logical more than some men, I don't think I have feelings like other women. no one has ever broke my heart because my heart does not belong to anyone.

bukatyne:


Men can't learn to love?

They can.

Its a difficult one.

A woman can learn to love.
But a man can never
.


It can only happen by bad condition of life.

Thats why you see some men take chill when they lack money or hit by serious sickness. But once they are off it, their true self will reflect.

Toks2008:
Have you ever heard these words from ladies?, "I know John truly wants me but i dont have any feelings for him but i have strong feelings for Jude yet he is treating me like trash"

Ladies are ruled by their feelings but unfortunately, many ladies have been sent to their early graves cos of this same feelings and many are down with mental illness and some are even locked up in psychiatry all in the name of feelings.

Now understand this; your feelings are very important but you also have the power to control it. Not every man who approaches you for romance really desires you and not every man who proposes marriage really wants you for the right reason so you need to really have a strong grip on your feelings and the first step to achieving this is to be self-sufficient in all ramifications to avoid hinging your feelings on the material things the guy can offer but rather on his true intent which is expressed in how he treats you.

Every lady has Phronesis(A type of wisdom or intelligence) that enables her know if a man sincerely wants her but she usually develops feelings for another who will most likely treat her like trash.

Your feelings can destroy you if channeled towards the wrong person so no matter how attractive that guy may look, no matter how sweet and smooth he sounds, no matter the material things he showers on you, no matter how good he is in bed, as vital as these qualities are, please always press the pause button on your feelings and observe him carefully for the right attributes. Yes people do change but a man who truly desires you will most likely always desire you regardless.

The movie Beauty and the beast is more than a fiction...one secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...this is a mystery... so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

I know this is extremely difficult for many ladies but it is the only way you can reduce the possibility of ending up in the wrong hands.

Hope this makes sense.

Talking to a brick wall here. This is actually agaist science and how things works. The beast was a Rich guy anyways.

Honestly I don't know if women have feelings. I always find them cunning.

pansophist:


Chop knuckle

Confirm man.

Toks2008:
Have you ever heard these words from ladies?, "I know John truly wants me but i dont have any feelings for him but i have strong feelings for Jude yet he is treating me like trash"

Ladies are ruled by their feelings but unfortunately, many ladies have been sent to their early graves cos of this same feelings and many are down with mental illness and some are even locked up in psychiatry all in the name of feelings.

Now understand this; your feelings are very important but you also have the power to control it. Not every man who approaches you for romance really desires you and not every man who proposes marriage really wants you for the right reason so you need to really have a strong grip on your feelings and the first step to achieving this is to be self-sufficient in all ramifications to avoid hinging your feelings on the material things the guy can offer but rather on his true intent which is expressed in how he treats you.

Every lady has Phronesis(A type of wisdom or intelligence) that enables her know if a man sincerely wants her but she usually develops feelings for another who will most likely treat her like trash.

Your feelings can destroy you if channeled towards the wrong person so no matter how attractive that guy may look, no matter how sweet and smooth he sounds, no matter the material things he showers on you, no matter how good he is in bed, as vital as these qualities are, please always press the pause button on your feelings and observe him carefully for the right attributes. Yes people do change but a man who truly desires you will most likely always desire you regardless.

The movie Beauty and the beast is more than a fiction...one secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...this is a mystery... so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

I know this is extremely difficult for many ladies but it is the only way you can reduce the possibility of ending up in the wrong hands.

Hope this makes sense.

Well said. But the heart is a dangerous device. Wanting what destroys it.

.

One secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...it is a mystery so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

@ the bolded is not true cos ive tried severally to develop feelings for one or two good guys I felt would make a perfect spouse but it just didn't click. And it took me years trying to see if there's a way I can build the love for these guys, or feel something for them but same same.
You can't really force this feelings or develop it yourself, it won't work. This things happen naturally and if it not there, it not there. That is why most marriages are having problems today because you have people advising you saying, " you can build love, love grows in marriage, just marry the man first and love will come later" jaggons. If it actually works like that, then it would have happened for me when I tried forcing it for those guys I talked about earlier.

Feeling is something you can't control. That is why when you feel something for someone, you can't control how fast it grows until it reaches a peak where it becomes a threat. Likewise you dont have the power to control your feelings and make it grow for someone it doesn't click with. It's a natural phenomenon beyond every living being.

Please let not be misguided.
I believe in true love with genuine feelings and that is what covers all sins. As in no matter what the person does to you, you still want to be with them.

It took me 4 years after my ex to fall in love again. And this new guy is a Nairalander. Yes! And this happened within a few weeks. But we had a little misunderstanding and I was heartbroken to which I confided in a guy here about how I felt. So he asked me, how long have I dated this new guy that the love hurts so badly. I told him just a few weeks and he went wow! Like is it not too early to love so deeply?
Now I didn't realized that my feelings had grown so fast and so deep for this guy until he mentioned it and I paused to think but realized its not my fault! Its how nature works and we can't control these things.

Aunty, I pity for you o.

You strike me as the kind of lady who finds abusive guys appealing. Guys with good intentions who will treat you like a queen irritates you.

Dont worry, you won't have sense now. Your sense will come when you get married to someone who will make your life miserable and that stupid thing you call love will clear off your mumu eyes.

That's cos they don't know how to love...


Women make love complicating.

Ariza:
You are wrong Lol very wrong! .

Let's see, I have a collection of handsome guys, like I like handsome guys but guess what I only have them as friends. Never dated a handsome guy close to my friends . I don't really have specs when it comes to dating, I flow with feelings. Once I like you,we are good to go. Thing is I have never answered the question " what attracted me to you" successfully without some gibberish or honestly. I don't really know.

But having learnt to control emotions the hard way and for too long I find it difficult to connect again. Most times I will just look away and focus on more important things and that's where the issue is. I miss the old way . You see , let's just leave me out of this and focus on your thread. . You don't know me.

I have been flowing with your opinions and i am quite fascinated. But i must point out something which I will put forward to you a a question.

I don't really have specs when it comes to dating, I flow with feelings. Once I like you,we are good to go

What brings about those feelings? There is definitely something that will attract you to someone and i am sure you know it. Sometimes it might be composite qualities.

We are all humans we have preference (both men and women).

Why disturb ur self

When a human especially a lady speaks like "I can't control my feelings " or I don't feel for him and all that, just know that she is completely without common sense which is the case for many 9ja 'fine girl's a.k.a (ngbeke)

This is how one foolish girl keep calling and forcing even though she can see that I don't remember her not because of beauty but simply because I think she is too sense less for my liking.

Love is like respect!

It is always reciprocal

Anyways, that is not my business

Toks2008:


It did not click because you never wanted it to click.

How can you want to be with people no matter what they do to You? That is no longer feelings but foolishness.

And lastly, you can control your feelings and it will do you a whole lot of good if you start learning how to.

Hmmm

You forgot to mention that Jude has more money than John in your story.
If I hear say woman dey emotional...ta! They think they are but they arent. I even think it is the other way round. A man like a woman for any reason. A woman? Trust me she has done her calculations....

I think the reason why we have chosen to distort reality is that men are emotional but do not like to be seen that way. Hence they pull off the logical front

Women do not like to be seen as materialistic, hence they pull off the emotional front. Las las na scam.

Otherwise explain to me why I will love someone who doesn't love me in return... tell us wetin Jude get abeg (money or chest)...lol

One secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...it is a mystery so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

@ the bolded is not true cos ive tried severally to develop feelings for one or two good guys I felt would make a perfect spouse but it just didn't click. And it took me years trying to see if there's a way I can build the love for these guys, or feel something for them but same same.
You can't really force this feelings or develop it yourself, it won't work. This things happen naturally and if it not there, it not there. That is why most marriages are having problems today because you have people advising you saying, " you can build love, love grows in marriage, just marry the man first and love will come later" jaggons. If it actually works like that, then it would have happened for me when I tried forcing it for those guys I talked about earlier.

Feeling is something you can't control. That is why when you feel something for someone, you can't control how fast it grows until it reaches a peak where it becomes a threat. Likewise you dont have the power to control your feelings and make it grow for someone it doesn't click with. It's a natural phenomenon beyond every living being.

Please let not be misguided.
I believe in true love with genuine feelings and that is what covers all sins. As in no matter what the person does to you, you still want to be with them.

It took me 4 years after my ex to fall in love again. And this new guy is a Nairalander. Yes! And this happened within a few weeks. But we had a little misunderstanding and I was heartbroken to which I confided in a guy here about how I felt. So he asked me, how long have I dated this new guy that the love hurts so badly. I told him just a few weeks and he went wow! Like is it not too early to love so deeply?
Now I didn't realized that my feelings had grown so fast and so deep for this guy until he mentioned it and I paused to think but realized its not my fault! Its how nature works and we can't control these things.

mr nobody so u are a woman, u are lucky if I've found u in real life I'll fvck the hell out of u.

I pray u are not a lady because if you are

Hahahha

You are heading to Shiloh or suicide loading

Lastly, even if your try to "control" your feelings and decide to end up with someone you dont genuinely feel a thing for, youll never be satisfied emotionally take it or leave it. You'll only live in pretence all your life. And God help you, along the line you now find someone you have true feelings for, your tune will start changing.

Im not even going further with this argument cos I dont belong to the school of thought who like to deceive themselves or settle for the undesirable when the desired is not available.

I have read so many submissions here and I want to share my thoughts on this issue
1: 1st Corr 14 Vs 32.... and the spirits of the prophets are subject to the prophets.

For those of us that believe in the scriptures, if this is not applicable to you, then, you lack self control and discipline. It will therefore be a fallacy of hasty generalization to use your obvious life of lack of discipline and self control as a basis for conclusion - THAT ONE CANNOT REALLY CONTROL HOW SHE (or HE) FEELS TOWARDS HER (or HIS) LOVE INTEREST

2: The fellow that drew a thin line between love and acceptance..please permit me to add that your analysis is spot on except for the fact that the dichotomy you tried to create does not exist. Love and acceptance are two sides of the same coin.

You cannot marry someone you don't have any atom of love for (I stand to be challenged on this point).

3: This brings me to my final point - TO LOVE IS A CHOICE. Thumbs up to the person that made the submission earlier.

Whether I feel something for you or not, if I DECIDE to marry you - for any reason whatsoever, then I love you - to an extent. The fact that I lack self control and the discipline to stick to my MARRIAGE COMMITMENT by abandoning my partner at the sight of another love interest does not justify the fact that I could have chosen not to.

BOTTOM LINE: MAN (WOMAN) KNOW THY SELF

Chi59:

Love is as much a choice as it is a feeling. It could leave you feeling overpowered but then it is what it is-a choice. You can train your brain to love as much as to hate or feel indifferent to someone. Especially when you focus on values you cherish in a lover and place them side by side with the man in your life.
The problem with most of us females is that we're quite unrealistic. You say you want a man who treats you right yet you follow after the one who maltreats you like a little puppy. Only to end up heartbroken and embittered towards men.
Here's the test of true love: True love stands the test of time.

You are a Wise woman... sorry to say most young ladies in Naija are too dumb.

One secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...it is a mystery so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

@ the bolded is not true cos ive tried severally to develop feelings for one or two good guys I felt would make a perfect spouse but it just didn't click. And it took me years trying to see if there's a way I can build the love for these guys, or feel something for them but same same.
You can't really force this feelings or develop it yourself, it won't work. This things happen naturally and if it not there, it not there. That is why most marriages are having problems today because you have people advising you saying, " you can build love, love grows in marriage, just marry the man first and love will come later" jaggons. If it actually works like that, then it would have happened for me when I tried forcing it for those guys I talked about earlier.

Feeling is something you can't control. That is why when you feel something for someone, you can't control how fast it grows until it reaches a peak where it becomes a threat. Likewise you dont have the power to control your feelings and make it grow for someone it doesn't click with. It's a natural phenomenon beyond every living being.

Please let not be misguided.
I believe in true love with genuine feelings and that is what covers all sins. As in no matter what the person does to you, you still want to be with them.

It took me 4 years after my ex to fall in love again. And this new guy is a Nairalander. Yes! And this happened within a few weeks. But we had a little misunderstanding and I was heartbroken to which I confided in a guy here about how I felt. So he asked me, how long have I dated this new guy that the love hurts so badly. I told him just a few weeks and he went wow! Like is it not too early to love so deeply?
Now I didn't realized that my feelings had grown so fast and so deep for this guy until he mentioned it and I paused to think but realized its not my fault! Its how nature works and we can't control these things.

You correct wella.
Some feelings projected at a particular target are uncontrollable.
If you see who you like you go know.
If you nor like the person,if the person like make e do like angel nothing changes.
Yes!
It is absolutely correct love grows over a time but it is also correct it needs a spark and a catalyst to grow.
If none@ all,
where the feelings wan emanate?

Ariza:
Oga Toks, simple question to you Sir. Can men learn to love? If so how do they do it? I have asked this question on ubunja's thread (No greenlight, No approach) once and even asked people offline but none has ever given me a satisfactory response. No one gave steps or guidelines to learning how to love. And I made this conclusion.

You can never learn to love, you can only learn to accept. There is a thin line between the two, a difference most people do not notice while some do. Loving someone comes naturally, it is an unintentional attachment to someone and unprepared attraction to a person.But accepting someone is an unnatural,intentional and prepared decision to take someone as a significant other. When you love someone,you want the best for him or her but when you accept someone,he or she is the best you think you can have. In Marriages/Relationships these days, people accept one another rather than love each other that is why it is so easy for them to question their decisions and flip over when a better person shows up. Unfortunately, your thread suggest this as the best way to relationship in the guise of loving who loves one which practically almost impossible to do.

But then I'm open to learning, maybe there's something I'm missing. So sir please answer my questions I typed earlier. I come in peace.

This is why I hate too much antonyms in write up.
what is accept again and love?

The thing many ladies focus on this life is, they build too many fantasies in their head and when a man who comes their way doesn't meet up to such standard then they start lowering their standard...

The point is, women don't really know what they want.
And sorry to say, you appear like one of those who don't know what they want.

Women are naturally inconsistent.
They can be brilliant, but when it comes to emotional stuff that is their biggest weakness.

Yes o...but we love the butterflies in our bellies. We love the sheer feel goodness it leaves us with...may God bless us with wonderful people.


As for beauty and the beast....biko dont spoil the magic of the fairytale. I have probably seen all versions of the movie and would continue to see more.

samtoles:


Aunty, I pity for you o.

You strike me as the kind of lady who finds abusive guys appealing. Guys with good intentions who will treat you like a queen irritates you.

Dont worry, you won't have sense now. Your sense will come when you get married to someone who will make your life miserable and that stupid thing you call love will clear off your mumu eyes.

Don’t mind the mumu gal... ladies can lie oo instead of them to tell us it’s money they are falling in love with they are talking about feelings. Most of them are gold diggers take it or leave it. Test your girl with money u will see she will fail woefully. They can’t handle it.

Omar09:


I don't know if you were actually conscious when you posted this. I mean you are asking women to reprogram themselves, and to do things for themselves. You are asking women to pause their emotions the thing they live and strive on, their skill? C'mon man, it's not possible. They'd rather die than do that. You don't tell a specie to not act on how nature built it. If you had asked men not to be emotional then I'd say you asked them to leave a terrain that's not theirs unto one which is theirs "logic".

You're talking thrash. A lot of ladies that got deeply burnt by these same mistakes Op described have learnt to control their emotions the hard way.

Many ladies equally learnt from those that got hurt and are guarding their feelings.

I've been without a lady for the past 5-6years, not because I was impotent or not good enough, but every lady I met seems unattached to me, even I don't sex because I believe in feelings for one to have a sexual intercourse. But fortunately it all came to reality early month of December last year, in the bank precisely, I had the positive feeling for a lady I met in the bank, I approached her and we talk nice with the exchange of contacts, and lo and behold we've been having a smooth relationship since then to this day. My major concern is good job and financial stability, that is my main challenge because it been keeping me from marrying her.

Feelings sometimes comes like a wind. Unexpected. But I think lady's has many feelings, hence the confusion.

One secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...it is a mystery so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

@ the bolded is not true cos ive tried severally to develop feelings for one or two good guys I felt would make a perfect spouse but it just didn't click. And it took me years trying to see if there's a way I can build the love for these guys, or feel something for them but same same.
You can't really force this feelings or develop it yourself, it won't work. This things happen naturally and if it not there, it not there. That is why most marriages are having problems today because you have people advising you saying, " you can build love, love grows in marriage, just marry the man first and love will come later" jaggons. If it actually works like that, then it would have happened for me when I tried forcing it for those guys I talked about earlier.

Feeling is something you can't control. That is why when you feel something for someone, you can't control how fast it grows until it reaches a peak where it becomes a threat. Likewise you dont have the power to control your feelings and make it grow for someone it doesn't click with. It's a natural phenomenon beyond every living being.

Please let not be misguided.
I believe in true love with genuine feelings and that is what covers all sins. As in no matter what the person does to you, you still want to be with them.

It took me 4 years after my ex to fall in love again. And this new guy is a Nairalander. Yes! And this happened within a few weeks. But we had a little misunderstanding and I was heartbroken to which I confided in a guy here about how I felt. So he asked me, how long have I dated this new guy that the love hurts so badly. I told him just a few weeks and he went wow! Like is it not too early to love so deeply?
Now I didn't realized that my feelings had grown so fast and so deep for this guy until he mentioned it and I paused to think but realized its not my fault! Its how nature works and we can't control these things.

Being on this forum should teach you a lot. Many threads on this forum may be projected against women but there is bright side of it.

I recommend every woman to read Miseducation by Ubunjà esp the one's written for men and Dating drills by Harddoón You may not enjoy what you read but it's gonna help you guard yourself (heart)

Sometimes, you need read what you should know and not what you want to hear. Just like this thread. This thread is "undebateable" true.

'One secret ladies don't know is they can develop feelings for any man'


Mr man, how do you know?! Are you a lady?! Imagine!

Well, what's most promiscuously perpetuated in society as love is an exaggeration, just like a balloon is an exaggeration of dimension.

that's why I have to agree with the Op on women marrying men who don't desire them dreaming they come in. cos they made a feeble stew out of delusion, naivety and infatuation, then convince themselves with rabid vigour to be love, and predicate their existence on it.

We are all humans and we all love as we also hates

So called heart broke is for both genders


The only reason many women suffer more in love is LUST period

If a woman finds a guy that has the time to bring out in her all best of emotions of romances OVER

She is ready to die to have him until she finds another or better

Women LUST just like men LUST

But because of the advantage men enjoy in the society when it comes to love and relationships

A man can easily walk away from bad relationship cox he is sure of another in short time unlike a woman who will always have to wait for people to approach first

Hello... I'm only talking about o feeling of love and not the other ones you mentioned up there. Those ones can be easily put in check. That of love is just so overwhelming and sometimes very difficult to control and no one can explain how and why it is so. It is beyond the human control; that is not to say you can't walk away from it but it will still be there.
You can walk away from the object of love but you can't quench that love in your heart. You can't. Unless you want to pretend its not there or you have never truly fallen in love.
I'm out!

Toks2008:
Have you ever heard these words from ladies?, "I know John truly wants me but i dont have any feelings for him but i have strong feelings for Jude yet he is treating me like trash"

Ladies are ruled by their feelings but unfortunately, many ladies have been sent to their early graves cos of this same feelings and many are down with mental illness and some are even locked up in psychiatry all in the name of feelings.

Now understand this; your feelings are very important but you also have the power to control it. Not every man who approaches you for romance really desires you and not every man who proposes marriage really wants you for the right reason so you need to really have a strong grip on your feelings and the first step to achieving this is to be self-sufficient in all ramifications to avoid hinging your feelings on the material things the guy can offer but rather on his true intent which is expressed in how he treats you.

Every lady has Phronesis(A type of wisdom or intelligence) that enables her know if a man sincerely wants her but she usually develops feelings for another who will most likely treat her like trash.

Your feelings can destroy you if channeled towards the wrong person so no matter how attractive that guy may look, no matter how sweet and smooth he sounds, no matter the material things he showers on you, no matter how good he is in bed, as vital as these qualities are, please always press the pause button on your feelings and observe him carefully for the right attributes. Yes people do change but a man who truly desires you will most likely always desire you regardless.

The movie Beauty and the beast is more than a fiction...one secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...this is a mystery... so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

I know this is extremely difficult for many ladies but it is the only way you can reduce the possibility of ending up in the wrong hands.

Hope this makes sense.

What a load of bullshit. Maybe oyibo ladies are ruled by feelings. But naija chicks are hard headed and pragmatic. In school, Enough fine boys were dumped by their chicks for less handsome toasters with jobs. The heck, when I was in school one chick no gree for me and was dating a gross looking older man.

This is just more of toks2008 patriarchal women are dumb BS.

Forget that nonsense. Women dumping their hot, good in bed , big Willy boy friends for stodgy 5 minute men who can provide is right in all our faces.

One secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...it is a mystery so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

@ the bolded is not true cos ive tried severally to develop feelings for one or two good guys I felt would make a perfect spouse but it just didn't click. And it took me years trying to see if there's a way I can build the love for these guys, or feel something for them but same same.
You can't really force this feelings or develop it yourself, it won't work. This things happen naturally and if it not there, it not there. That is why most marriages are having problems today because you have people advising you saying, " you can build love, love grows in marriage, just marry the man first and love will come later" jaggons. If it actually works like that, then it would have happened for me when I tried forcing it for those guys I talked about earlier.

Feeling is something you can't control. That is why when you feel something for someone, you can't control how fast it grows until it reaches a peak where it becomes a threat. Likewise you dont have the power to control your feelings and make it grow for someone it doesn't click with. It's a natural phenomenon beyond every living being.

Please let not be misguided.
I believe in true love with genuine feelings and that is what covers all sins. As in no matter what the person does to you, you still want to be with them.

It took me 4 years after my ex to fall in love again. And this new guy is a Nairalander. Yes! And this happened within a few weeks. But we had a little misunderstanding and I was heartbroken to which I confided in a guy here about how I felt. So he asked me, how long have I dated this new guy that the love hurts so badly. I told him just a few weeks and he went wow! Like is it not too early to love so deeply?
Now I didn't realized that my feelings had grown so fast and so deep for this guy until he mentioned it and I paused to think but realized its not my fault! Its how nature works and we can't control these things.

I disagree with your opinion that feelings cannot be controlled.. What are feelings? They are love, hatred, anger and every other emotions. Feelings are nature, so they spring up naturally but it's left for you to channel it properly. Feeling s( like, love, hate, anger etc) can be controlled.. Human beings have the power to control it.. This is one gift that even God cannot take away from us Free Will... We can control feelings..

You speak of true love. True love is simple yet entails a lot. What most of you calls love is lust. You could quickly switch to pain, anger when heartbroken and then you split or jilt your partner in the context of relationship. Then you claim you truly love him or her? This is lust not true love... There is just one word for true love, it's unconditional sacrifice. Even, the bible preaches it. The principle of Forgive and Forgot is where True love is built...

The Op actually nailed it.. It is better for a lady to marry who loves them then who they love. Most ladies that marry who they love and not who loves them, end up wrongly.

simplepee:
Love market, phew.

The market is selling fast courtesy of lock down