Please forgive my poor writing skills and the length of this story.
I'm S,I come from Western Nigeria, I'm a Yoruba guy,about 5 years ago I met a woman on Instagram through a fitness group,she always upload some good fitness techniques which was very fortunate for me cos I was a bit of a gym instructor myself so I added her up just to view her fitness posts,I didn't say hi or even text her because that wasn't really my attention, a couple of weeks later I noticed she always post a picture of a guy in army uniform and shower him with encomium, I noticed some pattern among the picture and I knew it was my naija brothers at work,she was being catfished so I texted her one day, sometimes later she replied, we talked at length,she said she's from baton rouge in Louisiana, with time I got to know about the guy,the guy told him he was deployed in Iraq,he only sent him pictures, no video calls and always request for money and gift cards,so I took it upon myself to save her,I explained the situation she was in for her and told her to do somethings which later resulted to her finding out he was a scammer.
After he broke up With the guy she stopped answering my texts,so I just figured she thinks all of us are like that over here so I didn't really think much of it.
A few months later she texted me and apologized for not replying my text ,she said she was heartbroken because she has been dating the guy for a year and already gave him some money too.
Since that day we began to talk so frequently I got to know somethings about her she was only 35 then and I was just 24 so she was 11 years older than me, she had 2 kids and she is a very beautiful woman that looks like she's in her 20s I wish I could upload her picture here but I've been advised against that.
As time goes on we began to call each other, do video call like almost everyday sometimes for hours and I got to talk to her kids too she had a 16 year old girl and a 14year old boy.
After some months she told me she has fallen in love with me,i like her like a lot too because i had gotten used to her so we started dating.
I admit at first I didn't realize our relationship could get serious because of the distance, months got into years and she even send me lots of gifts on my birthday,she even offered to send me money to celebrate my birthday ,I guess she read that things are very difficult here but I refused the money cos I believed that would reduce me to a gee guy,so I told her that I get by just fine,she was quite stunned too cos she said every guy she's met online just ask for money so I joked that it was because she was frequenting dating sites and that is the den of scammers all over the world.
In the 5th year of our relationship that was in January she just called me from no where and told me she was in Lagos with her daughter to see me,I totally thought she was joking until I saw the pictures she sent me,I was dumbfounded and restless cos I hadn't prepare for that, she lodged in an hotel and gave me the name, after some hours if preparation and pondering over thousands of ideas like what If she doesn't like how I look and shit,trust me I am a handsome guy in my level but I couldn't shake that feeling but at last I manned up and went to her,when I got to the door it felt like i walking towards a moving train I knocked and she opened the door, I was in awe cos she was even more beautiful in person, she stared at me for like 5 seconds blocking the entranceway, the moment of silent was pulsating as a million ideas run through my head in that period of time,before I could maintain a straight face she lean towards me and french kissed me for like a minute,she literary hugged me for like 5minutes none stop before Letting me go even her child was just laughing.
I got into the room greeted her kid and asked them how their trip was,I stayed with them for a couple hours before I left.
She stayed in Nigeria for 2 weeks and we got engaged, only my brother and some of my friends know about this woman, now we're engaged already preparing for marriage and we have plans of me moving to the united States or us moving to France together.
She's richer than me and she's a doctor (PhD) but I am doing good myself so money is not an issue the problem now is that my parents are very traditional and I don't see them accepting this woman especially because she has grown up kids, her daughter is 21now already finished college and working with amazon she lives alone and we're so close to the extent that she always call me her dad cos her real father died,the second born likes me too he is in college too.
I love this woman but the age difference is there which is not a problem with me but my parents are saying otherwise, my dilemma now is that should I listen to my parents or follow my Heart.
Note:I've made like a 80% decision of marrying her irrespective of what my parents say or not.
I just thought I should ask for people's opinion maybe I'll see people that understands my condition.
Please Forgive my poor writing skills and the length of this story

Give am belle.

You are welcome.

I forgive ur poor writing skills but ain't gonna forgive the length of the story.
I think whoever read all will advice u better.

Modified.

See ehn, if u marry an Old woman and d marriage crash, nobody will blame ur family,
If u marry ur mate and d marriage crash, nobody will blame ur family,
If u marry underage and d marriage crash, nobody will blame ur family,
Everyone is gonna blame u so I advice u to do whatever it is u wished cos if u follow ur parents decision and u later failed, ppl will still blame u.

Do u know who Tonto Dike's mother is? Exactly, nobody will blame her, no one even cares to know her mother. Ur present is ur responsibility, Ur future is ur burden to bear. Don't worry about Parents opinion. U will still carry the cross regardless
@Thecollector11, I hope this help

Mynd44, lalasticlala seun Dominique

Emmanuel Macron would have given you a better advice but he's busy now battling Covid-19 with his edede wife in his country.

Give am belle.

Thank me later.

Follow your heart

Same actor playing two roles.

Kampack:
Follow your heart

Thanks

Hmmmmm

dukeprince50:
I forgive ur poor writing skills but ain't gonna forgive the length of the story.
I think whoever read all will advice u better.

Modified.

See ehn, if u marry an Old woman and d marriage crash, nobody will blame ur family,
If u marry ur mate and d marriage crash, nobody will blame ur family,
If u marry underage and d marriage crash, nobody will blame ur family,
Everyone is gonna blame u so I advice u to do whatever it is u wished cos if u follow ur parents decision and u later failed, ppl will still blame u.

Do u know who Shekau's mother is? Exactly, nobody will blame her, no one even cares to know his mother. Ur present is ur responsibility, Ur future is ur burden to bear. Don't worry about Parents opinion.
@Thecollector11

Mynd44, lalasticlala seun Dominique

Thank you for your input, I've always wished that my parents will be actively involve with my family when I get married but I guess this changes thing,I just hope my whole family does not turn against me cos of this issue cos the distance will be another factor then.

Thecollector11:

Thank you for your input, I've always wished that my parents will be actively involve with my family when I get married but I guess this changes thing,I just hope my whole family does not turn against me cos of this issue cos the distance will be another factor then.

Lemme tell u a story abt wat hapnd while I was still in school.
There was a guy who wanted to study a four year course, his parents pressured him to study medicine cos Job will be available in dat field, he was frustrated but had to do wat his father told him, after his professional exam, he failed and the boy could not contain the depression, he had to commit suicide cos he felt he can't go back and start from beginning. Do u think anyone will blame d father? If the boy had followed his heart, he may probably still be alive. Parents can tell u wat is best for u but the best option is not always d right option. Na u wear d shoe, na u know where e deh pain u

From your story it seems the said lady is 40 years old while you are 29 years old.If she's still fertile then there's hope because if you can impregnate her your parent will have no choice but to accept her bt if it's otherwise then that's where the problem lies. Moreover are you really sure you love this woman or just blinded by green card? I know Nigerian men can date a granny for greencard so i guess you are lucky to find a 40 years old woman!!

Petyprincess:
Typing..

Second typer

man up and do what is in your mind

Arent you a man?

Thecollector11 I must really commend the fact that u got u a good heart which is smtin I admire alot......I got me a white lady to but she's from Ireland we've not really talked bout relocating cuz I atimes skip the topic but of a truth i'm living my best life in Nigeria but something she fell in love with is that good haert of mine which is best at the moment

that by the way, as for ur parent I believe ur an adult of ur own and should make ur decision urself plus ur parents don't really have to know she's got kids man up and follow ur heart

one more thing is always make the poor woman happy, the true better Nigerian can come from u for real. just keep the good Nigerian blood going

Petyprincess:
From your story it seems the said lady is 40 years old while you are 29 years old.If she's still fertile then there's hope because if you can impregnate her your parent will have no choice but to accept her bt if it's otherwise then that's where the problem lies. Moreover are you really sure you love this woman or just blinded by green card? I know Nigerian men can date a granny for greencard so i guess you are lucky to find a 40 years old woman!!

wow, wat a brilliant advice, clap for urself.

After typing for 10mins, this is the nonsense u could come up with. He is moved by greencard?
did u jump the part where he said he never knew she will come to Nigeria?
Green card was not part of his agenda

sexylassie2:
man up and do what is in your mind
Arent you a man?

my sister no HE ARENTING A MAN!

Please follow your heart, your happiness matters,do what makes you happy,let your parents know the reasons why you want her and let them know ,they can always visit you

[s]

dukeprince50:
wow, wat a brilliant advice, clap for urself.

After typing for 10mins, this is the nonsense u could come up with. He is moved by greencard?
did u jump the part where he said he never knew she will come to Nigeria?
Green card was not part of his agenda

[/s]

right now! me,Trump, Xi,Macron,Buhari and Co are on conference call because of covid 19.
I will greet you after

[s]

dukeprince50:
Lemme tell u a story abt wat hapnd while I was still in school.
There was a guy who wanted to study a four year course, his parents pressured him to study medicine cos Job will be available in dat field, he was frustrated but had to do wat his father told him, after his professional exam, he failed and the boy could not contain the depression, he had to commit suicide cos he felt he can't go back and start from beginning. Do u think anyone will blame d father? If the boy had followed his heart, he may probably still be alive. Parents can tell u wat is best for u but the best option is not always d right option. Na u wear d shoe, na u know where e deh pain u

[/s]

dukeprince50:
wow, wat a brilliant advice, clap for urself.

After typing for 10mins, this is the nonsense u could come up with. He is moved by greencard?
did u jump the part where he said he never knew she will come to Nigeria?
Green card was not part of his agenda

Continue deceiving yourselves!! No be Nigerian guys? Will he be asking this question if she was a Nigerian? Of course age is just a number as long as she's American! So he should man up nd marry her without his parent's blessing! Hw many Nigerian guys will go for single mothers with kids who is living here? I'm not disputing or questioning his love for her bt i believe this ain't pure love!

Petyprincess:

Continue deceiving yourselves!! No be Nigerian guys? Will he be asking this question if she was a Nigerian? Of course age is just a number as long as she's American! So he should man up nd marry her without his parent's blessing! Hw many Nigerian guys will go for single mothers with kids who is living here? I'm not disputing or questioning his love for her bt i believe this ain't pure love!

I do not blame u for thinking he is after d greencard, True love is hard to find, and wen u see one, its hard to believe, I know y u doubt him. I pray one day u find a man that will love u genuinely regardless of ur flaws.
Saying because he is a Nigerian guy automatically means he is after d green card is insulting.
Haven't u seen people saying they are in love with the opposite sex far older/younger than them? There are such threads on Nairaland sef.
Are u a child?

Bro I’ll advice you to follow your heart, because I was in the same position as you in 2014, met this sweet young black American nurse in 2010 and in 2014 she was into me So bad she sent me all manner of gifts and was ready to come naija and I told my mom and sisters bout her but my mom was against it and I had no option but to obey, she felt so disappointed in me and moved on, now she’s married and I’m full of regrets and my mom can’t even help my life in anyway, and naija girls just dey use person dey play ludo if u no get money, my brother marry her because if u hid to ur parents advice u’ll leave to regret this chance
Because ur parents can’t propel u to ur destiny

Thecollector11:
Please forgive my poor writing skills and the length of this story.
I'm S,I come from Western Nigeria, I'm a Yoruba guy,about 5 years ago I met a woman on Instagram through a fitness group,she always upload some good fitness techniques which was very fortunate for me cos I was a bit of a gym instructor myself so I added her up just to view her fitness posts,I didn't say hi or even text her because that wasn't really my attention, a couple of weeks later I noticed she always post a picture of a guy in army uniform and shower him with encomium, I noticed some pattern among the picture and I knew it was my naija brothers at work,she was being catfished so I texted her one day, sometimes later she replied, we talked at length,she said she's from baton rouge in Louisiana, with time I got to know about the guy,the guy told him he was deployed in Iraq,he only sent him pictures, no video calls and always request for money and gift cards,so I took it upon myself to save her,I explained the situation she was in for her and told her to do somethings which later resulted to her finding out he was a scammer.
After he broke up With the guy she stopped answering my texts,so I just figured she thinks all of us are like that over here so I didn't really think much of it.
A few months later she texted me and apologized for not replying my text ,she said she was heartbroken because she has been dating the guy for a year and already gave him some money too.
Since that day we began to talk so frequently I got to know somethings about her she was only 35 then and I was just 24 so she was 11 years older than me, she had 2 kids and she is a very beautiful woman that looks like she's in her 20s I wish I could upload her picture here but I've been advised against that.
As time goes on we began to call each other, do video call like almost everyday sometimes for hours and I got to talk to her kids too she had a 16 year old girl and a 14year old boy.
After some months she told me she has fallen in love with me,i like her like a lot too because i had gotten used to her so we started dating.
I admit at first I didn't realize our relationship could get serious because of the distance, months got into years and she even send me lots of gifts on my birthday,she even offered to send me money to celebrate my birthday ,I guess she read that things are very difficult here but I refused the money cos I believed that would reduce me to a gee guy,so I told her that I get by just fine,she was quite stunned too cos she said every guy she's met online just ask for money so I joked that it was because she was frequenting dating sites and that is the den of scammers all over the world.
In the 5th year of our relationship that was in January she just called me from no where and told me she was in Lagos with her daughter to see me,I totally thought she was joking until I saw the pictures she sent me,I was dumbfounded and restless cos I hadn't prepare for that, she lodged in an hotel and gave me the name, after some hours if preparation and pondering over thousands of ideas like what If she doesn't like how I look and shit,trust me I am a handsome guy in my level but I couldn't shake that feeling but at last I manned up and went to her,when I got to the door it felt like i walking towards a moving train I knocked and she opened the door, I was in awe cos she was even more beautiful in person, she stared at me for like 5 seconds blocking the entranceway, the moment of silent was pulsating as a million ideas run through my head in that period of time,before I could maintain a straight face she lean towards me and french kissed me for like a minute,she literary hugged me for like 5minutes none stop before Letting me go even her child was just laughing.
I got into the room greeted her kid and asked them how their trip was,I stayed with them for a couple hours before I left.
She stayed in Nigeria for 2 weeks and we got engaged, only my brother and some of my friends know about this woman, now we're engaged already preparing for marriage and we have plans of me moving to the united States or us moving to France together.
She's richer than me and she's a doctor (PhD) but I am doing good myself so money is not an issue the problem now is that my parents are very traditional and I don't see them accepting this woman especially because she has grown up kids, her daughter is 21now already finished college and working with amazon she lives alone and we're so close to the extent that she always call me her dad cos her real father died,the second born likes me too he is in college too.
I love this woman but the age difference is there which is not a problem with me but my parents are saying otherwise, my dilemma now is that should I listen to my parents or follow my Heart.
Note:I've made like a 80% decision of marrying her irrespective of what my parents say or not.
I just thought I should ask for people's opinion maybe I'll see people that understands my condition.
Please Forgive my poor writing skills and the length of this story

Bros nawa oooo, all this long Methuselah yet no picture of the lady?

[s]

dukeprince50:
I do not blame u for thinking he is after d greencard, True love is hard to find, and wen u see one, its hard to believe, I know y u doubt him. I pray one day u find a man that will love u genuinely regardless of ur flaws.
Saying because he is a Nigerian guy automatically means he is after d green card is insulting.
Haven't u seen people saying they are in love with the opposite sex far older/younger than them? There are such threads on Nairaland sef.
Are u a child?

[/s]

Madridguy,come and ask your brother how he met his woman

This question of yours have almost become monotonous and insipid. I mean, why should my young life be predicated on the whim of individuals who have lived out their life, irrespective of their opinion which might be visceral or a primitive perspective.

This reminds me of my mom(the only human I can compromise for or lay down my life for)when she called me home to tell me that she hasn't got any problem with all tribe apart from one, and I shouldn't marry from that particular tribe. I told her plain and lurid that she hasn't the jurisdiction to make such dictate. not out of impudence, but out of the sheer reason she hasn't got first hand knowledge of what makes me tick. suffice to say; no human feel exactly your happiness and pain, so why should another have a say on how the aforementioned affect you.

Thecollector11:
Please forgive my poor writing skills and the length of this...
Please Forgive my poor writing skills and the length of this story

OP, this is not magical fairytale land where everything ends happily after.

Before you marry this woman you need to ask yourself some had questions:

Do you live this woman with your whole being or are you just overwhelmed by the fact that she is a foreigner who is financially independent?

Are you ready to spend your whole live with the possibility that you may never have any biological children through her?

Are you aware that by the time you are 49 she would be 60 years old and would have retired from work therefore you need to be ready for the possibility of bearing the whole burden alone including that of medicare due to old age?

Marrying a lady from a tribe different from your own comes with a lot of challenges how much more marrying a person from another country whose ways are completely different from ours here in Africa.

Ponder on the above question, once you can answer them honestly then you can take your decision.

Petyprincess:
From your story it seems the said lady is 40 years old while you are 29 years old.If she's still fertile then there's hope because if you can impregnate her your parent will have no choice but to accept her bt if it's otherwise then that's where the problem lies. Moreover are you really sure you love this woman or just blinded by green card? I know Nigerian men can date a granny for greencard so i guess you are lucky to find a 40 years old woman!!

I don't really care about green card,we might not even live in the US ,yes we've been together for 5 years and I love her very much