Mariangeles:


Is she his wife?
Who partner help?
Partner kor, partnership ni!

i want to belev u'd make dis same comment if it were to b d oda way round.

Harllaby:
Honestly, the man is only being truthful to himself by asking his partner for money. So because you borrowed him 500k you feel like you can rub it on his face. The guy was never at fault from what you wrote instead you are the one that refuses to voice out your feelings by assuming he should know what you want.

Tell him how you feel and if he isn't what you want in a man, then go look for your type.

Be sincere to yourself, are u telling me you will say this same thing it it were to be your sister?

You are obviously only assuming to be the boyfriend why cant you assume your sister is giving such to someone she is not married to? Meanwhile, there things to do with the money at home.

Don't ever marry a man that financially depends on you. It will continue and get worse and you will start disliking him until you fall out of love. Men should for self respect not be asking for money from their gal friends or wife

yeyeosoronga:
That relationship is not going to work and the earlier you realise this the better.
Run for your peace of mind.
It's not your responsibility to meet the needs of his family members, and you are obviously finding it stressful

You could have just advised her instead of saying a relationship that has lasted for 3years won't work simply by hearing her own part of the story..

Well this is the kind of things we get bringing out shit to the internet..

Butter comes with the breadwinner of the family

mrblessed:
There is always a contrived fuss when a man is at the receiving end, but if it is a woman, it suddenly becomes the man's obligation. You have got two problems: a man who is the breadwinner of his family and his seemingly endless borrowing disposition.

My instinct tells me that, you resent his family's financial standing and, of course, will latch on any spurious reason to bolt. More so, the bleating of bimbos of Nairaland are united -- as always -- in an overwhelming demand for termination of the relationship. Be my guest!

funny you, if the reverse is the case, you would have advised the guy to run cause he is dating an entitled bitch. But now, you want to guilt trip her to make her feel like she was wrong for refusing to be an ATM to an entitled dog.

mrblessed:
There is always a contrived fuss when a man is at the receiving end, but if it is a woman, it suddenly becomes the man's obligation. You have got two problems: a man who is the breadwinner of his family and his seemingly endless borrowing disposition.

My instinct tells me that, you resent his family's financial standing and, of course, will latch on any spurious reason to bolt. More so, the bleating of bimbos of Nairaland are united -- as always -- in an overwhelming demand for termination of the relationship. Be my guest!

funny you, if the reverse is the case, you would have advised the guy to run cause he is dating an entitled bitch. But now, you want to guilt trip her to make her feel like she was wrong for refusing to be an ATM to an entitled dog.

Ryan03:
and this idiot resurfaced

may god purnish u and ur barstard genaration it u DAT an idiot

hennylove:
Don't ever marry a man that financially depends on you. It will continue and get worse and you will start disliking him until you fall out of love. Men should for self respect not be asking for money from their gal friends or wife

but you can ask from him abi?

Is it normal to be in a parasitic relationship whereby the female remains the host that's being fed on?

I'm only 24 while he's 31.[/quote]
Ok,what's his future plans for u?,has he proposed?, when are u getting married,. U are.d.one who is dating him and u know what is capable of doing. So don't listen to people advising u to quit after all u ve built with him. I believe at this point, u can only leave wen e is not planning to settle down wit u.I believe when u guys get married and have kids,he will put u and the child first. I've seen a lot of this, tins will change wen u get married. My kobo

jaksmillioniar:
may god purnish u and ur barstard genaration it u DAT an idiot

I am sure you haven't forgotten our last encounter. Dont go and work o, keep looking for a woman who will feed you and your family

Harllaby:
Honestly, the man is only being truthful to himself by asking his partner for money. So because you borrowed him 500k you feel like you can rub it on his face. The guy was never at fault from what you wrote instead you are the one that refuses to voice out your feelings by assuming he should know what you want.

Tell him how you feel and if he isn't what you want in a man, then go look for your type.

If the OP were your sister, would you honestly have given her this kinda response or advice? Haba! Fear God na! If it's the other way round, you'll tag the girl a gold digger, you'll call the guy mumu for spending on the girl and her family. ..and to think your comment came in first. You're the typical eni ibi ti n p'onmo re Ile iwe!

OP, don't mind him, it's not your responsibility to cater for his family either directly or indirectly. If you don't feel up to it, you're not under any obligation to. I can lend my man money or support him to do projects, but it has to be a symbiosis kinda thing. Regarding his being the breadwinner of his family, there's nothing wrong with that. Fingers are not equal, he can continue winning bread for them but he'll do so with his resources. I only help when there's a genuine reason or when it's of utmost necessity. Once you start taking me for granted, it ends there.

What I'm saying is, it's your call if you wanna do it or not, you're not bound to do it.

Ryan03:
I am sure you haven't forgotten our last encounter. Dont go and work o, keep looking for a woman who will feed you and your family

I Neva know who u are so get lost

Take your own decision

VivleBriella:


he used to buy me things when we initially started(first 2 months) but I usually insist on footing the bills, cause I didn't want him to see me as a leech, guess he got used to me footing the bills and left me to myself

Hahahaha, NL romance section guys don finish work for this one body.

My dear lady, no sane REAL man will marry a girl who rejects his giving!
Except a leech who has ulterior motives. You are indirectly telling the MAN you don't need him.

Ladies, when your man spends on you, be humble enough to accept it. And appreciate it. And Say, "thank you" and add a word of blessing from time to time.

That is how to be humble, okay?

PS
I dey talk of man o, not boys wey still dey explore.

IYANGBALI:
but you can ask from him abi?

you don't have to ask but a responsible man will never depend on a woman's money. The man's responsibility is to cater for the woman. And anything the woman does is extra for him

VivleBriella:
Good day everyone

I've been a guest for a couple of years now, created an account to seek advice

My dear nairalanders, does it always end well marrying the Breadwinner of a family? He's the last born with 4 elder siblings but they all depend on him.

Yes, I knew he was the Breadwinner from day one but I thought with time, everyone else will be able to stand on their own, but it hasn't happened yet, we've dated for 3yrs now and he doesn't support me financially. I don't complain but he feels entitled to my money and when I get tired of him always asking me to lend him some money and decide to say no, he nags and tells me I'm not being supportive enough.

This is driving me really crazy cause he reminded me of how unsupportive I've been to him and his family, he's driving me insane, you can't possibly put the responsibility of your family on my shoulders, that's crazy and insensitive, over the years, I've borrowed him nothing less than 500k which I know for sure he's never giving back.

Is it normal to be in a parasitic relationship whereby the female remains the host that's being fed on?

I'm only 24 while he's 31.

Marrying a breadwinner is to assure you that you will never run out of bread.

This girl has received good advice from people here but i doudt if love will allow her to leave the r/ship. If you have made up ur mind to walk out, i am available atleast i would not be borrowing from you

paix:
Marrying a breadwinner is to assure you that you will never run out of bread.

Hahahaha

babe abeg use your head !!!
signs are written every where.

Run run run

SweetCunt97:
Reverse is the case. Right from time immemorial women spend men's money and the man should b a man and know how to handle the situation. Her crime is being extravagant but this male in question has older sibling leeching off him and him leeching off the op.

You tripped... sadly

VivleBriella:
LordKO

Bukatyne

Thanks for the contributions everyone
I didn't go mute, I just didn't think replying everyone individually's the right way..

I've decided to let him go, it's not like he hasn't done anything for me since we started dating, he used to buy me things when we initially started(first 2 months) but I usually insist on footing the bills, cause I didn't want him to see me as a leech, guess he got used to me footing the bills and left me to myself, he's extravagant to some extent, give him 100k today and in two days, he doesn't have a dime on him anymore, usually can't stand seeing him broke, hence, always giving in to his demands but I've had enough cause he already told me point blank he can't marry me during an argument, cause I'm not supportive and submissive..

And to the bloke who thought vivlebriella's for wedding cards, no, it's not, it's just some random nick I thought bout to open an account with but thanks for your contribution, it's appreciated.

I don't know what happened to my earlier response.

This post doesn't connect with the first one:

First you say he uses your money to care for his families; here you say he spends extravagantly.

On what exactly?

Also, if you told us in the first post that he said he wouldn't marry you because you are ' not supportive' and stubborn, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

Anyways, you now know what to avoid in another man.

VivleBriella:
Good day everyone

I've been a guest for a couple of years now, created an account to seek advice

My dear nairalanders, does it always end well marrying the Breadwinner of a family? He's the last born with 4 elder siblings but they all depend on him.

Yes, I knew he was the Breadwinner from day one but I thought with time, everyone else will be able to stand on their own, but it hasn't happened yet, we've dated for 3yrs now and he doesn't support me financially. I don't complain but he feels entitled to my money and when I get tired of him always asking me to lend him some money and decide to say no, he nags and tells me I'm not being supportive enough.

This is driving me really crazy cause he reminded me of how unsupportive I've been to him and his family, he's driving me insane, you can't possibly put the responsibility of your family on my shoulders, that's crazy and insensitive, over the years, I've borrowed him nothing less than 500k which I know for sure he's never giving back.

Is it normal to be in a parasitic relationship whereby the female remains the host that's being fed on?

I'm only 24 while he's 31.

is he borrowing money from you to care for his elder siblings? Why are they depending on him? My dear focus on your business and use pliers to hold your money ... Anybody that choose to run charity organisation must do so from their own purse

crackkhaus:

I agree.

But you should have said the same thing here

https://www.nairaland.com/5800075/need-advice-no-insults-please#88558030

Otelemuye
Nice reference thou #thumbs up

boyjo:

Hahahaha, NL romance section guys don finish work for this one body.

My dear lady, no sane REAL man will marry a girl who rejects his giving!
Except a leech who has ulterior motives. You are indirectly telling the MAN you don't need him.

Ladies, when your man spends on you, be humble enough to accept it. And appreciate it. And Say, "thank you" and add a word of blessing from time to time.

That is how to be humble, okay?

PS
I dey talk of man o, not boys wey still dey explore.

Hmmmmm, you have a great point there.

crackkhaus:

There..

That's all I came to expose here - the Nigerian woman's psyche.

Thanks for being a good sport.
Cheers...

Lol. No news of course, women and double standard!

Harllaby:
Honestly, the man is only being truthful to himself by asking his partner for money. So because you borrowed him 500k you feel like you can rub it on his face. The guy was never at fault from what you wrote instead you are the one that refuses to voice out your feelings by assuming he should know what you want.

Tell him how you feel and if he isn't what you want in a man, then go look for your type.

Why is he not truthful to himself with his sister and ask them to go and work.. Shei na elder sisters sef suppose pamper their kid brother?

VivleBriella:
Good day everyone

I've been a guest for a couple of years now, created an account to seek advice

My dear nairalanders, does it always end well marrying the Breadwinner of a family? He's the last born with 4 elder siblings but they all depend on him.

Yes, I knew he was the Breadwinner from day one but I thought with time, everyone else will be able to stand on their own, but it hasn't happened yet, we've dated for 3yrs now and he doesn't support me financially. I don't complain but he feels entitled to my money and when I get tired of him always asking me to lend him some money and decide to say no, he nags and tells me I'm not being supportive enough.

This is driving me really crazy cause he reminded me of how unsupportive I've been to him and his family, he's driving me insane, you can't possibly put the responsibility of your family on my shoulders, that's crazy and insensitive, over the years, I've borrowed him nothing less than 500k which I know for sure he's never giving back.

Is it normal to be in a parasitic relationship whereby the female remains the host that's being fed on?

I'm only 24 while he's 31.

While nothing is wrong supporting the man that you love, but known when you are being used. In this situation, I think that you are being taking advantage of. You are not his wife. You dont even know if he loves you for what you can provide or who you are. You are 24 years old, still very young. Invest your money to better yourself and future. While you are not desperate for marriage, I will say dump him already.