Guys and girls,
Stories like these are not uncommon even among our parents.
And there are simple explanations I've come up with based on my readings and little experience.

1. People who had premarital sex are more likely to have extramarital affairs. The reason is simple, research has shown that couples who have had multiple sexual partners where reported to be less satisfied with their spouse in the bedroom.

2. People who are liberal/open minded to sex out of marriage are more likely to have extramarital affairs. For most people their first sexual experience was full of guilt and shame, but as they continued indulge, that guilt went away and became normal, making it possible for them to go from one body count to 30 body count or more. Having this open mind to sex leaves the average married person more likely to cheat without remorse, cuz sex has become just a chore and not longer a bonding and soul sharing experience.

3. People with multiple sexual partners always have a league of friends (Male or female) who they can easily call and have such experience because the bond has been created years back. This is why when married people meet one of their ex , the feelings they have is still there so they are susceptible to sharing that hot passion one more tine. Now, imagine someone that has 5, 10, 20, or 30 of those kind of people. Such a person if married without resolving those issues is a time bond waiting to go off.

4. People who engaged in premarital sex will most likely have found a size(pen.is or vagi.na)/sex style/fetish they like which their spouse may not be able to live up. This may leave them wanting that old experience and fantasizing about their old partners in marriage; thus, when they meet that person they found to be their "ideal", they will want to share that hot passion again.

POSSIBLE SOLUTION TO THE ABOVE
For any person seeking to get married, the best way to break the sexual link with their ex is to abstain from sex for 12 months to 18 months before marriage. This will teach your body to ignore sexual feelings and live without indulging in sex.

This is not an easy journey because in the case where you are already having sex with your current boyfriend/girlfriend deciding to stop will become near impossible. But ultimately, you both must agree to abstain from sex completely for 12 months minimum. Nowadays we have couples cohabiting already before marriage, this is a recipe for disaster and will only lead to marital dissatisfaction.

Marriage does not solve promiscuity, so if you sleep around before marriage (even with your so called boy/girlfriend) the same thing will happen after marriage. Somewhere down the line, years later something will come up and you will fall as long as you have not dealt with the issue.

If you are already married and didnt address this issues before tieing the knot, joy your marriage and hope for the best.

Chi59:
People cussing single girls don't know that nowadays the normal code for adultery is married man sleeping with another married woman. That way, it's harder to detect. Any pregnancy or stds are dumped on the unsuspecting spouse.

mad oo

Jaqenhghar:

LOL. I remember one incident when I was single. We went swimming with one married friend of mine. The guy no fine reach me. that time I dey do small body building so my physique was in point. Him no sabi swim, I sabi swim but na him babes dey rush. Some dey ask am to teach dem swimming. Ca you imagine! Person when no sabi swim

Wow!

Can you imagine daughters of eve? They are rushing married man like ice cream.

Married men are trying.

Thanks for speaking out against this.

Ladies, help men to refrain from adultery. Likewise men, please don't lure women into adultery. It is not good.

Unfortunately life is not always in black and white,should you decide to stay chaste ,don't do it in the hope that someone will reward you in future,do it because you believe in it and your values,bad happens to good people and good happens to bad people,and human beings will disgrace you.Life is not fair.

With all these advice now, some girls will still not hear it.

My question is, what if you don't sleep with someone's husband,but when you marry, young girls constantly sleep with yours?

Are u saying married men should only be sleeping with married women?

Take ur time o.

I know say girls no go even hear that one.

tubolancer:
See, we are not in a happy country, whatever can make you happy do jare. Nothing concern serious people with boys and girls matter or lovers problem. If you have a girlfriend going after married men dump her, you can't control someone destiny. Did you think that most girls doesn't know what they are doing, we the matured one don't give a jack! My problem with young guys of today is that they are too emotional and strange, they won't grow up to become real men like our forefathers. A girl can choose anyone as friends including married men, you don't pick their choice, I beg let our girls enjoy their life and you as a guy don't keep your eggs in one basket. Abeg make una leave me alone jare, Corona dey town.

Thank you

Faysuze:
There is a married man in my office that said he has a crush on me. I was like, guy you have a wife and two kids.
How can you have a crush on me?

He said his wife is so beautiful and endowed, so what are you still looking for if your wife is all that? He said i should stop being rigid and open my options. Open my options to a married man

Some married men never cease to amaze me with their stupidity.

Nairaland people will never see this one. Sometimes the married man is the one who pursues relentlessly but those bats will not see it. Only to be cussing single ladies as if they are the cause of their problems in life.

nokatakata:
How about married men staying with their wives and stop running after women. If there is no receiver, there will be no giver.

A lot of married men especially elderly men are ready to phuck any woman they see. Married men will see a young lady who just got married and will continue to disturb her. They never give up especially when they have money. Your old politicians and rich men are destroying plenty marriages of young couples because they have money to throw around. They will frustrate the woman and stalk her everywhere just because they want to phuck...in the process of stalking, they will scatter the marriage. A lot of men pretend a lot, them like phuck pass oxygen. Them not dey for comot eyes ..whether young ,old, married, single, them go must wan phuck. Many of your pastors, well respected CEO, Directors, philanthropist, motivational speakers are on this table. Them pretend pass devil but like towtow die...

Towtow dey sweet sha! Na lack of self control for men dey cause all the wahala.

Yea.. May b u are right... The most important be say.. Make God give us money so that they won't use car with tinted glass to carry our girl or wife

Rapmoney:
I have a former school mate. We met way back in the university. ...

Rapmoney, you write very well. Do you write professionally? Would you like to pursue a writing-related career?

AfroKnight:


Wow!

Can you imagine daughters of eve? They are rushing married man like ice cream.

Married men are trying.

Hehehehe. The thing tire me. The irony was he wanted us to go swimming so I can catch a babe. He was chastising me for being single. As we reach na him babes come dey show love. I just weak

Wayne4uall:


There are some single guys out there that are more caring than most married men.. I think the problems is from most girls.. They don't know what they want.. They will neva love a guy that loves them but they will put all their efforts in sometin that does not belong to them

Of course single guys are supposed to be taking care than married men , but how many of them? Less than 10%.......single guys break heart of girls farrrrr more than married men. Married men give attention to girls farrrrr more than single....... As a result, they fall easily.... Go and ask girls that dated married men, they had been heartbroken by single guys times without number.

;Di[color=#770077][/color] if married woman giv me totoo,I will vandalise it since am not going to marry then no man will vandalise my wife ttoto

As far as I'm concerned ladies have no excuse whatsoever to sleep with married men. Because the only thing they want from you is your body, they don't even love you not to talk of wanted to leave their wives for you. You are just a sex machine. I think it's only lazy ass ladies with no self worth that sleeps around especially with married men for financial gain. Thou some wealthy married men might want to entice and influence you with their money just to sleep with you speaking from experience but no amount of money can quantify your dignity and moral uprightness as a lady because after the sex and the money what else? Nothing I guess. You can make such money yourself if you are hard working, focus and ambitious in life.
The most important virtue ladies should try and imbibe is contentedness, be ok and satisfied with the little you have and can get from people around you without you have to sleep around or sell your body for money.

Jaqenhghar:

Hehehehe. The thing tire me. The irony was he wanted us to go swimming so I can catch a babe. He was chastising me for being single. As we reach na him babes come dey show love. I just weak

Can you just imagine the irony.

They can’t tell me they didn’t see his wedding ring. Wetin dem dey find?

See, let me tell you the truth. Married or single, a man is a man, and a woman is a woman.

All it takes to be married is to sign a paper. All it takes to be unmarried is to sign a paper. In some societies, if you and your spouse have been away from each other for a period of time, you are free to remarry.

Let's put sentiments aside and look at things with clear eyes. Marriage is just another societal construct. That woman you call your wife is and will always be a stranger (highest a friend). That man you call your husband is and will always be a stranger (highest a friend). They can drop your ass the next minute because of ... anything imaginable.

Don't make a mountain out of a molehill

Liliantalks:
mad oo

Exactly my sister. If DNA test becomes mandatory in Nigeria today, a lot of married women will commit suicide. Married women commit as much abortion as single women and some of them have affairs with married men. But these nairaland bats are busy barking up against the wrong tree.

Chi59:
Some ladies don't do it for money or even the sex.
Young men are often in a haste, unwilling to work the knots that is a woman's emotions.
Many of you young men are absent, forgetful and downright indifferent. You are impatient and very careless.
But you see married men, marriage has amended their character and their attitudes to females. Years of living with a woman makes them quick to say sorry, to pay attention, to show up, to be patient.

Modified: See them bashing me. Blo.ody hypocrites. It takes two people to commit adultery. If the lady is guilty, how about the man who breaks his vows?

babe u said fact, they pay more attention to ur feelings and emotions, they r Married but know how to make u feel wanted and appreciated, They r good listeners , and yes better givers. Getting men of all those qualities combined is very very hard.

Chi59:

Exactly my sister. If dna test becomes mandatory in Nigeria today, a lot of married women will commit suicide. Married women commit as much abortion as single women and some of them have affairs with married men. But these nairaland bats are busy barking up against the wrong tree.

na them sabi

Rapmoney:
I have a former school mate. We met way back in the university. No doubt, she was an intelligent girl then and was always shinning in her department. One particular issue she had and which I also detested was her fondness for sleeping with married men/people's husbands. I really didn't know what she would be looking for since her parents provided most of the things she needed in school. She wasn't from a poor home, neither were her parents super rich but they were very comfortable and could give her what she needed. I really didn't like advising people personally, especially when they are so much engrossed in an activity. You could easily be seen as a killjoy or fun-destroyer. Though, I did couple of times but the attempts were like pouring water in a basket. Today, she would be in Awka with Engineer Julius, tomorrow, it would be in Asaba with Chief Akpofure. No value for people's matrimonial territory! No retreat, no surrender.

Well, she got married in 2010 and it was all rosy. Few years into the marriage and it was something else. No day would pass without her posting criptic lines on Facebook about cheating husbands and how 'God' would see her through. I didn't need a babalawo to tell me what has been going on. Even a dumb primary 3 pupil in a local village school would be able to tell what has been happening. I later confirmed this from another former schoolmate who worked with her in Lagos. Her past has come back to hunt her.

In as much as I sympathize with her, it's pertinent to note that some activities are enjoyable until things start going south. Nemesis doesn't forget. You can't sleep with people's husbands as a spinster and expect yours not to be sugar daddy to some young girls out there. Wetin dey go around, still dey come around. Wetin happen for fowl house, go still happen for goat house.

If you are a young woman, get focused and leave other women's husbands alone. There's a reason why they call it MARRIAGE. It's a sacred matrimony whether it's conducted in a church, mosque, shrine, court, private house or even village square. It's not a visa to success. Person wey bring wood wey ants full, nor need to complain when lizards start to visit am for house. Many young women will tell you that they are being disturbed by married men. The truth is that such girls are the ones who give married men the cushioned platform to do that. I'm very sure he's not going to beat you if you don't give him your contact details.

Finally, as a young man, beware of girls who constantly tell you that they don't do married men even when such information is not relevant to you. It's mostly the other way round; a clear conscience fears no accusation.

Thay last bit you put there. Truth

Liliantalks:
babe u said fact, they pay more attention to ur feelings and emotions, they r Married but know how to make u feel wanted and appreciated, They r good listeners , and yes better givers. Getting men of all those qualities combined is very very hard.

Gbam!

I thought chy59 and liliantalks were not on the same page? anyway you guys should continue lighting up the thread

nokatakata:
How about married men staying with their wives and stop running after women. If there is no receiver, there will be no giver.

A lot of married men especially elderly men are ready to phuck any woman they see. Married men will see a young lady who just got married and will continue to disturb her. They never give up especially when they have money. Your old politicians and rich men are destroying plenty marriages of young couples because they have money to throw around. They will frustrate the woman and stalk her everywhere just because they want to phuck...in the process of stalking, they will scatter the marriage. A lot of men pretend a lot, them like phuck pass oxygen. Them not dey for comot eyes ..whether young ,old, married, single, them go must wan phuck. Many of your pastors, well respected CEO, Directors, philanthropist, motivational speakers are on this table. Them pretend pass devil but like towtow die...

Towtow dey sweet sha! Na lack of self control for men dey cause all the wahala.

[center][/center]. The day I hear my pastor escapades with female church members ,,I just weak,,,them Nick name pastor MC HAmmmer

TheFacelessMan:


Many years back, i slept with the wife of a Mafia Don...

This is how it ended





There is a good story in here. Just too lazy to write...

do grace us with that story bro, u never can tell one or two lessons may be learnt from it

Galactico4ever:
I thought chy59 and liliantalks were not on the same page? anyway you guys should continue lighting up the thread

You done?

Delite01:
As far as I'm concerned ladies have no excuse whatsoever to sleep with married men. Because the only thing they want from you is your body, they don't even love you not to talk of wanted to leave their wives for you.

Tell that to Regina and Sade Okoya.

Snow white, FFK’s wife.

The late Stella Obasanjo.

Etc...

Liliantalks:
babe u said fact, they pay more attention to ur feelings and emotions, they r Married but know how to make u feel wanted and appreciated, They r good listeners , and yes better givers. Getting men of all those qualities combined is very very hard.

will jesus come if they pay that more attention to their wife's feeling and emotions?..don't u think if they pay more attention to their wife's emotions,there won't be any need to start chasing single girls hup han Dan?

There is a problem and no one is trying to solve it or have preferred a solution to it, and instead people are here spewing sanctimonious trash.

God ab initio made it possible for a man to be with more than one woman if he so chooses. Look everywhere in the animal kingdom. The alpha males always have a harem of females at their beck and call. And so it was in the olden days and old testament.

Women were fine with it until lesser men got to making laws and in a bid to ensure that Alpha males do not keep monopolizing all the women, they passed the laws we know today to accommodate one man , one wife.

However, that gave rise to the following problems :

1. Alpha males still exist. Women still want them even when they settle for "lesser" men.

2. Most women are primed to respond to mainly alpha males. Any attempt to be with any "lesser man" results in disaster.

3. This now decreased the incentive for men to actually upgrade themselves to alpha male levels since the thinking is that after all, we have solved the problem by enacting a one man , one wife law.

4. More women are born, more than men and they survive longer at any age range. What happens to the excess women?

5. Being an alpha male has always involved having some wealth at any point. How many wealthy men are available in the whole world.

6. How possible is it for non wealthy man to be with a woman who has primed herself for an alpha male?

These are real problems and cannot be wished away. Just like we do not have solution for how very poor people will survive during this covid-19 and just assume somehow things will take care of themselves, but they dont. Same way we think that by quoting the bible and using man-made laws that goes against natural design will just not work. We need a much more better solution. Genital Mutilation is also an option.

Wat about Regina??

Chi59:
You done?

"Done" as in? i've been a silent listener till now