Before I start, I'm actually an old member of Nairaland but had to create a new account for privacy's sake.

From the very start, I knew something was coming but what I did not know was that it will be of such profound magnitude. I’ll have to admit I never really saw such deceit coming, not even in my wildest imagination. Left to me, she was the most perfect girl I’ve ever come across but like they do say, when it’s too good to be true, then it definitely is. If there is one thing I so much detest in a relationship, it’s infidelity.

One thing infidelity does is that it messes with the affected person psychologically to the point it becomes improbable to trust again. I believe we all have a choice to abstain from infidelity, if not for our self-esteem then for the respect we have for our partner and if both reasons can’t keep oneself from it then I’d say such a person doesn’t deserve to be loved. Cheating on a partner makes one look cheap and that’s how I saw it when I fell a victim of infidelity. I saw my partner as a cheap, deceitful person who simply wants to get down with any guy that comes around (That’s literally how I felt and still do).

Before I became a victim of infidelity, I initially had my fears due to rumors I heard about my partner sleeping around though that was before we started dating or so I thought. When we started dating, I held her in high esteem because I believed she valued her dignity, was matured, or at least so I thought and would not indulge in such but guess I was wrong. She lost the respect I had for her the moment her game was up. Now all I see when I look at her is a “loose girl” and it pains me a lot cause deep down I’m still in love with her and at the same time, I’m angry and bitter for the way I was deceived and emotionally traumatized.

The suspicion

Okay, there was this guy (Buchi) I knew was always calling her and all but she said he was her classmate right from primary school and that’s all. Though it was difficult to swallow, I did let it slide and put it behind me until I noticed something different. Anytime he called, they no longer speak English but Igbo and though I’m Igbo, it’s embarrassing that I can’t speak or hear most things so that was the advantage she had. It got to a point where she’ll go outside to answer his call and anytime they finish talking on the phone, she’ll become moody and this really got my attention big time. Whenever I ask her why does she become moody whenever she talks to him, she claims it’s nothing that she’s just like that although she gets moody a times, this was beyond normal.

From everything that was happening, I did not need a prophet to tell me that there was something wrong so I decided to find out what was really happening.

How I got to know about her infidelity

At that time, I was really bent on finding out all her misdeeds though I knew I would get hurt, but I just had to do it. As God will have it, there was one morning when we were about going to church and while she was having her bath, I took her phone and went to her Whatsapp chat with the guy she claimed was her primary school classmate and I could not believe what I saw. In the chat, the guy asked her what they were and she said they were sex mates… My heart began beating faster and I seriously wanted to go to the toilet after reading that (laughs). Immediately she came out from the bathroom, I confronted her and she said it was a game they were playing on Whatsapp that it’s not true. Now, where I messed up was I didn’t really go through the chat and I wasn’t thinking straight at that time so I took her word for it because she sounded so convincing and innocent trust me so I let it go and we went to church.

After I was this close at finding out her misdeeds, she now made her Whatsapp accessible using a pin code and that was what really ascertained me that she actually was a cheat and I said to myself that this time, I must get it right. For my plan to work, I needed her Whatsapp pin so one day while she was with her phone, I pretended to be asleep and when she was about typing her Whatsapp pin, I quickly looked stylishly and I finally got it.

One fateful day, she went out with her female friend and left her phone at my place because it was dead so after she left, I quickly used my laptop to power on the phone and immediately went to her Whatsapp to go through the chats again and this time, carefully so I did just that and from what I saw, she really was a cheat, in fact, the chat was really nasty and I can’t speak of it. Truth is after I read it all, I cried my eyes out cause I felt used and betrayed by someone I trusted a lot. After I got hold of myself, I called her friend so I could speak to her but she hung up so I waited till the next day for her to get back.

The next day seemed to take forever to come but nevertheless, it came and I couldn’t wait to hear another lie from her but at the same time, I was eager to see her cause I feel a void in me whenever she isn’t close to me. Anyways, she later came back and was apologetic, she said she hid it from me because she was scared I would break up and that she never had sex with the guy (I still don’t believe that) but they’ve kissed. It was all like a dream to me but I had to accept reality and although what she did hurt me, I was ready to forgive her and put everything behind as long as she stays away from the so-called primary school classmate, I guess she wasn’t ready to be forgiven. She still spoke to the guy regularly and said she would stop speaking to him soon that she can’t just stop talking to him like that… I was dumbfounded sincerely.

To cut the long story short, I kept having this bitterness inside of me whenever I think of what she did and it was driving me crazy so things fell apart and we went our separate ways.

Conclusion

One of my greatest fear right now is that I’m still in love with her despite all that has happened and that I might not be able to love another the same way or if possible, more. I really want to see her happy, I really do but also, I want her to experience the pain I went through or even far greater pain cause I’m still hurting inside and I don’t know how to let go of this hurt other than thinking about it or expressing it out in writing. The biggest question I have that has gone unanswered is “why did I have to be cheated on and lied to the face?”. I remember her looking me in the eye and telling me there is nobody else, that I’m the only guy she’s with presently… isn’t that witchcraft?

Now I keep asking myself if I was an experiment to her or was I just used to while away time though I have no answer to those questions yet but I’d really like to know if she truly ever loved me but I surely can say I loved her deeply and I still do to the moon and back.

We have been there b4. Move on bro. Such thing is normal now. Don't be too emotional when it comes to girls matter.

All cheats are fools!
She's nothing but a dirty, cheating fool!

Break up with her if you want to have an health life


Note wether you forgive her or not she will still cheat on you

Think twice

adewumiopeyemi:
Break up with her if you want to have an health life


Note wether you forgive her or not she will still cheat on you

Think twice

We've broken up already

TheOdumodu:


We've broken up already

And you still love her

Move on!
That is the key!

Op with time you will heal up but you have to prepare for a long ride.

I had the Same experience with my first love, I Was madly in love until I got cheated on. I initiated a break up but i couldn't get over this gal. I wanted her and at the same time hated her guts.

Long story short....I became a play boy, every other gals I ever dated felt the heat and the pains hidden for years.

Love with your head inclusive!

Pretend to forgive her and start using her as sex tool then find another girl

Huh

A story so long...

Please end this relationship and move on with your life

Victornezzar:

And you still love her

Have you ever being in love?

Mariangeles:

Have you ever being in love?

Yes but I use my head

Victornezzar:

Yes but I use my head

Then you didn't love deeply.
It's still OK not to lose one's self in love.

my guy the last I checked people with genuine story of break up no dey get plenty write up like this oo. ur own even get paragraph. the girl must be right for cheating cos ur life must boring and stereotype. only cheating u are giving paragraphs and heading if I am the girl I will cheat again and again

TheOdumodu:


We've broken up already

and she doesn't miss you or beg for you both to come back together?

bro, your problem is that you are trying to make sense of the mistakes SHE made, as if you have any hand in that, while you should instead disregard it all as dating a mad woman who was deceitful/unfaithful,disrespectful/untrustworthy. there are many demons like that out there....and its not your fault if you fell for one of them (as some of them are quite good at their deceit).

you cant go around carry a grudge for this mad woman, because it would mean you give her too much importance in your life. instead, try to let go of this negative vibe and see the positive in all this.

Fear women

Mariangeles:


Then you didn't love deeply.
It's still OK not to lose one's self in love.

Thanks for your 2nd statement

TheOdumodu:


We've broken up already

NEVER TAKE HER BACK EVEN IF YOU'RE DYING FROM HEARTBREAK!
The reality is, that part of your life is dead! Accept it.
The good news is, with time, your heart will heal and be whole again.

Before I start, I'm actually an old member of Nairaland but had to create a new account for privacy's sake.

I love this line die

My verdict BASED ON WHAT OP SAID OOOOO

Dear Op. Sorry for the insult. But you dey craze, you dey mad, you dey gbongbolo cigar.

You dey wait for angel of God to tell you say your babe na osho-omo ole.
It pains me when boys are used to play ludo. E dey pain me. Below are some of shibaraba guidelines to a happy life for boys.
She dey lock her phone like CBN. ..... Dump her
You call her she no quick pick especially at a particular time.. ..Dump her
She dey go outside go answer call. .. .Dump her
She dey always press phone.. . .Dump her
She claims na her bestie. ... Dump her
She dey talk to her ex... .. Dump her
She compares you to her ex...... Dump her
She goes about with friends....... Dump her
Party everywhere. ... Dump her
She speaks on phone in hushed tones... ..dump her
She uses language anytime you're there..... Dump her
She lies. ... . Dump her
She scopes. ..... Dump her
She uploads pics of another boy when no be her immediate family..... Dump her
She screens you from viewing statuses. .. . .Dump her
She drops cryptic messages. . ... Dump her
She even mess and the mess over smell.. ... Dump her. She Don go chop ijekuje with one boy be that.

No come disturb us for here with lamentations. If you're a man though. Don't dump. Keep observing. For I believe men know how to handle oshos.

Pele

Unfortunately, 98% of 9ja ladies no dey fit appreciate & accept guys wey dey love & trust like u.

OP

Na you shoot yourself.

I no fit hear bad thing about person still choke head.

If say nobody been warn you about her and you went innocently, i for pity you.

Warri people say dog wey no dey hear hunter whistle, dey loss for bush.

You didn't pay heed to people's advice to you concerning her, now you've paid dearly for it. Mind you, in every rumour, there is some truth.

I'm done.

see,
u are still trying to have compassion on her & she has none for u.

b4 someone will decide to cheat on u, that person have taken u to be a fool-a big one.

get busy, enlarge ur friendship base and catch fun

Cheating breeds lies, deceit and danger, I call people that cheat comfortably evil and cruel, they can kill, move on bro, you'll be fine.

Descortes:
and she doesn't miss you or beg for you both to come back together?

She actually does but I can't go back. Sometimes she still comes around the house

Mariangeles:


NEVER TAKE HER BACK EVEN IF YOU'RE DYING FROM HEARTBREAK!
The reality is, that part of your life is dead! Accept it.
The good news is, with time, your heart will heal and be whole again.

Yeah! I can never take her back. I just have to move on

madone:
my guy the last I checked people with genuine story of break up no dey get plenty write up like this oo. ur own even get paragraph. the girl must be right for cheating cos ur life must boring and stereotype. only cheating u are giving paragraphs and heading if I am the girl I will cheat again and again

Lol haba. I just had to express myself in writing

Sorry about your predicament. I've never suffered a heartbreak. My trick right from when I was still very young was to always have it at the back of my mind that anything can happen and that no one should be fully depended on.
Fortunately or unfortunately I still reason that way. I keep my expectations low, I hardly get disappointed. I don't know if it's a good thing but it works for me.
Perhaps you may want to try this line of reasoning in your next relationship. No need taking the anger on other girls, it will only affect you on the long run.

That lady is using you to play draft. If you don't move on now, what will hit you will be equivalent to a trailer.