Please I'm new here on this platform and I just want some advice to clear my mind.

Let me just go straight to the point. My girl that we've been dating for a year plus now just told me a week ago that she lived a couple's life with her ex back in school right from when she entered 300l (4yrs course) and the guy 400l (5yrs course) and I've not been able to get over it.

It happened a week ago, we were together and she saw a post of her ex engagement to his current girlfriend and she started feeling bad, so I asked her what happened and a little bit angry with her thinking maybe she was not over her ex yet. She told me she has gotten over him but she just remembered her past so I try to console her to let go and if there's something she hasn't told me yet about her past that is still eating her up she can tell me because before now we've talked about a lot of things about our past and we've try to forgive each other and let the past be in the past.

She had told me it was this only guy she had dated and it was the same guy that disvirgined her. I was not bothered about that because I was not a virgin either. She told me she has moved on even before I came and she stayed for close to a year to heal up and all through this time I was asking her out but she never said yes and never told me she was going through heart break.

Now, it's a year and few months into our relationship, she's been a very good girl, supportive and hard working. And now she just told me this, coupled with some lies she has used to cover it up in some of our previous conversations about her school life.

I'm not perfect either and I've had my past which I have told her. I never lived a couples life back in school and it was only a girl I've also had anything sexual relationship to do with.

Why am emotionally down now is because I know what it is like to live a couples life in school. I never lived as one but I know of people that lived as such in school and I know what happens.

Now I don't know if I can forget about this and we move on. I love this girl so much and she has shown to also love me as much and I've tried to forget about what happened but most times when I see her now I tend to always remember and it eats me up.

Do you guys think I can forget about this?

You should thank God that your girl lived a couple life. That means she has proven faithfulness.

What of those in school that could not stay with one person for 2 months plus numerous flings and runs for money

She should have unfriend that dude since to avoid seeing and comparing progress . Her only healing now would be to marry before her ex, so dude, if she tick most of the boxes, fast forward things

I'd feel the same if i were you.

Couple's life in school eh... chai!, Let me not talk because you'd feel discouraged about her. If your heart is no more there, Let go.

Just because you didn't live a couples life now you think she is worse than you y is it that we humans only call what we don't do sin? But if we do it then its ok

Let he who is without sin be the first to cast a stone Mr.jailer.Listening to Asha's Mr jailer

xendra:
Just because you didn't leave a couples life now you think she is worse that you y is it that we humans only call what we don't do sin? But if we do it then its ok

I don't think there's a place in the I post I ever said she's worse than me. And I'm not judging her either I'm only seeking advice so I can get it off my mind.
Moreso, I'm human and we all feel bad about some of these things sometimes

Oga say the truth. The real reason why you are angry is because you could see from her reaction that she still isn't over the ex. Which is why she was sad to see that he is getting married.

You are only blaming this "couple's life" just to lie to yourself that you are angry with her about something else. Whereas your true anger is the realisation that she still feels something strong for the guy.

No matter the lies the two of you tell yourselves, that's the simple truth.

Sometimes when I look at these girls on campus and seeing how they freely live with guys it baffles me and I wonder if they weren't given good home training back home

My friend lives with one at school. She does all the cooking and washing and every night correct knacking is sure for him, person pikin o imagine a small girl that her poor parent sent to school

Op let me ask you, do you think if this guy comes back to her and due to the feelings they once had for one another invites her to his place, don't you think something go sup? Especially if he's cute and has sweet mouth lol

912:
Oga say the truth. The real reason why you are angry is because you could see from her reaction that she still isn't over the ex. Which is why she was sad to see that he is getting married.

You are only blaming this "couple's life" just to lie to yourself that you are angry with her about something else. Whereas your true anger is the realisation that she still feels something strong for the guy.

No matter the lies the two of you tell yourselves, that's the simple truth.

That might be part of it too. But I feel she has shown that she has moved on before now. But seriously bro if you know how some of these couples life in school is, you will understand how I feel.
But anyways thanks.

Jasonjay101:
Please I'm new here on this platform and I just want some advice to clear my mind.

Let me just go straight to the point. My girl that we've been dating for a year plus now just told me a week ago that she lived a couple's life with her ex back in school right from when she entered 300l (4yrs course) and the guy 400l (5yrs course) and I've not been able to get over it.

It happened a week ago, we were together and she saw a post of her ex engagement to his current girlfriend and she started feeling bad, so I asked her what happened and a little bit angry with her thinking maybe she was not over her ex yet, she told me she has gotten over him but she just remembered her past so I try to console her to let go and if there's something she hasn't told me yet about her past that is still eating her up she can tell me. because before now we've talked about a lot of things about our past and we've try to forgive each other and let the past be in the past.
She had told me it was this only guy she had dated and it was the same guy that disvirgined her, I was not bothered about that because I was not a virgin either. She told me she has moved on even before I came and she stayed for close to a year to heal up and all through this time I was asking her out but she never said yes and never told me she was going through heart break.
Now, it's a year and few months into our relationship, she's been a very good girl, supportive and hard working. And now she just told me this, coupled with some lies she has used to cover it up in some of our previous conversations about her school life.
I'm not perfect either and I've had my past which I have told her. I never lived a couples life back in school and it was only a girl I've also had anything sexual relationship to do with.
Why am emotionally down now is because I know what it is like to live a couples life in school, I never lived as one but I know of people that lived as such in school and I know what happens.
Now I don't know if I can forget about this and we move on. I love this girl so much and she has shown to also love me as much and I've tried to forget about what happened but most times when i see her now I tend to always remember and it eats me up.
Do you guys think I can forget about this?

a lot of people never forget their first love,a lot of girls never forget the guy that disvirgined them. In this case her ex was both. The truth is ,the purest love a girl has for a guy is when they are young. As she grows older,she will swallow the female redpill and not date for love but who loves her and is capable of taking care of her.

She is not the first or last that feel something for an ex. Its normal, most people end up with others and not the love of their life but live perfectly fine. How many married couples do you think married the love of their life?

As for the couple living,you use the word "forgive" as though she cheated on you. The thing is she didn't. Make research ,find out if she has a high body count from sleeping with various men or he was her only sexual partner all those years.
If he was the first and only one she has been with then it doesn't necessarily makes her morally bankrupt.
Whenever someone confides in you of a terrible past, don't show shock or disappointment else they will not tell you more.

When you explain to girls that chastity is not what a guy plays with when searching for a wife they will be arguing and online motivational speakers will be advising them that they are free to have sexual prowess as a man forgetting how guys sees things is different from how ladies see things. They will be shouting "patriarchy" when you advice them.
At the end it is them that will feel used and cheated in the end if after several sex he marries another person. How many guys will feel bad or exploited after couple living only for the relationship not to work?

Let this be a lesson for all!


Check out the comments of most girls on this post, accusing him of judging her. Being skeptical about someone past and worrying if it may affect your relationship is not judging. The way most women are conscious of men financial capacity(which I support) and if he can take care of a family is the same way men are conscious of the sexuality of ladies when choosing a spouse.
They can only rant online but will they force us to marry?

bro,

u should be very grateful that she even told u.

truth is, she is yet to get over him (completely), she feels that his engagement is a huge blow to her & will only feel better if she walks down da aisle b4 him.

as her boyfriend, it's obvious u haven't done enough to divert her mind away from him.

try to know her personal desires, cravings & goals. then work hard to see them fulfilled. when dz is done, she won't even notice if her ex becomes king Solomon II...

forget her past.

moreover if u hit that pvssy right, that guy's d|ck will be deleted from memory

Jasonjay101:
Please I'm new here on this platform and I just want some advice to clear my mind.

Let me just go straight to the point. My girl that we've been dating for a year plus now just told me a week ago that she lived a couple's life with her ex back in school right from when she entered 300l (4yrs course) and the guy 400l (5yrs course) and I've not been able to get over it.

It happened a week ago, we were together and she saw a post of her ex engagement to his current girlfriend and she started feeling bad, so I asked her what happened and a little bit angry with her thinking maybe she was not over her ex yet, she told me she has gotten over him but she just remembered her past so I try to console her to let go and if there's something she hasn't told me yet about her past that is still eating her up she can tell me. because before now we've talked about a lot of things about our past and we've try to forgive each other and let the past be in the past.
She had told me it was this only guy she had dated and it was the same guy that disvirgined her, I was not bothered about that because I was not a virgin either. She told me she has moved on even before I came and she stayed for close to a year to heal up and all through this time I was asking her out but she never said yes and never told me she was going through heart break.
Now, it's a year and few months into our relationship, she's been a very good girl, supportive and hard working. And now she just told me this, coupled with some lies she has used to cover it up in some of our previous conversations about her school life.
I'm not perfect either and I've had my past which I have told her. I never lived a couples life back in school and it was only a girl I've also had anything sexual relationship to do with.
Why am emotionally down now is because I know what it is like to live a couples life in school, I never lived as one but I know of people that lived as such in school and I know what happens.
Now I don't know if I can forget about this and we move on. I love this girl so much and she has shown to also love me as much and I've tried to forget about what happened but most times when i see her now I tend to always remember and it eats me up.
Do you guys think I can forget about this?

Simple answer is you can’t.

Long answer is that you can only learn to live with the stake of such thing, you guys promise to be true to yourself and this is piercing you and you have to be true to both you and her. What I can tell you is to be Patient with what she has told you for like 2 months and see if time can heal it, don’t force yourself to forget or disillusion your mind to avoid it. Face it and think it if you must and watch how you remain within 2 months and if you do then maybe you could live with it, if not then the whistle goes. Even if you live with it there are a lot of future consequences to this event, you may also need to live with the children of the event too and even many more of what might tell you later or what you may find. So Bro brace up, if you can run this path then ensure something worth it makes you do it else there is no sane reason anyone should ply that route.

ITbomb:
You should thank God that your girl lived a couple life. That means she has proven faithfulness.

What of those in school that could not stay with one person for 2 months plus numerous flings and runs for money

She should have unfriend that dude since to avoid seeing and comparing progress . Her only healing now would be to marry before her ex, so dude, if she tick most of the boxes, fast forward things

Thanks man.
She has actually unfriend the guy for long the post is just from one tagged friend or so. And she actually tick most of the boxes but concerning marriage we've discussed and settled that, which I've made it known that I'm not in competition with anyone.

vincentjk:

My friend lives with one at school. She does all the cooking and washing and every night correct knacking is sure for him, person pikin o imagine a small girl that her poor parent sent to school

Father Lord,may my daughter never be exploited this way...I know I am not a saint and I have a past,but I have never exploited a lady to this extent

Jasonjay101:


That might be part of it too. But I feel she has shown that she has moved on before now. But seriously bro if you know how some of these couples life in school is, you will understand how I feel.
But anyways thanks.

The question is.. Do they ever really move on??
Someone she spent that much time and who also disvirgined her? Bro she can NEVER forget him that's the plain truth. That doesn't mean she still wants to be with him. The memories and possibly regrets is what made her sad. Plus she was young then. Trust me, if she knew things would turn out this way between them, she would have gone that extent with him.

My advise for you is, forget it. LET IT GO. It was her past and she has been a good girl to you. One guy which isnt bad. Like someone asked, what if she was a 'distributor' and you later found out?

Kingarthur21:

Father Lord,may my daughter never be exploited this way...I know I am not a saint and I have a past,but I have never exploited a lady to this extent

Keep calm, It is not still the worst type of exploitation in the world.

bjprodint:
Let he who is without sin be the first to cast a stone Mr.jailer.Listening to Asha's Mr jailer

xendra:
Just because you didn't leave a couples life now you think she is worse that you y is it that we humans only call what we don't do sin? But if we do it then its ok

someone who live couple life spotted red handed.

stanliwise:
someone who live couple life spotted red handed.

nah! I never even had a BF in school, I was too scared. But its something I've noticed we all do, cautiously or not

A person who funicates will preach to another to stop drinking alcohol that it's a sin just because he doesn't drink

stanliwise:
Keep calm, It is not still the worst type of exploitation in the world.

what is worse than this? In fact meeting a Bleep boy who bleeps and dumps after a few weeks or months is better than who will use you for years.

Omo,guys bad o, enjoy cooking,washing and knack from girl that he has not paid bride price for?

Jasonjay101:


That might be part of it too. But I feel she has shown that she has moved on before now. But seriously bro if you know how some of these couples life in school is, you will understand how I feel.
But anyways thanks.

Why do I get the feeling that you are here to discuss couples life in university. Let's just get straight to the point and stop beating around the bush.
As for your girlfriend, she should stop jumping from guy to guy and make something of herself. If you can't deal, let her go.

Yes, you can forgive her past because you were not in the picture during the cohabitation. No, you can't move on with her if she is still addicted to her ex like someone hooked on drugs. It is not a good addiction.

Take a break from the relationship and explain to her that she needs time to get her priorities right. You both need to leave all emotional baggage behind before entering a new relationship (especially her).

No matter how much you love a woman, if she loves her ex more than you, or does not love you enough to respect you to the point of feeling low because her ex moved on in your presence, you'd do a lot of good to yourself if you leave her to deal with her demons. It is not your fight, and you can't win.

Saintmary:

Why do I get the feeling that you are here to discuss couples life in university. Let's just get straight to the point and stop beating around the bush.
As for your girlfriend, she should stop jumping from guy to guy and make something of herself. If you can't deal, let her go.

I suppose you read the post well. She's not jumping from man to man ok and she has a life, a good one at that.
And am not here to discuss campus couples life.

xendra:
Just because you didn't leave a couples life now you think she is worse that you y is it that we humans only call what we don't do sin? But if we do it then its ok

I know you will support this

Was she sent to school to live a couple life?

You have 100% tolerance for IMMORALITY

Jasonjay101:
Please I'm new here on this platform and I just want some advice to clear my mind.

Let me just go straight to the point. My girl that we've been dating for a year plus now just told me a week ago that she lived a couple's life with her ex back in school right from when she entered 300l (4yrs course) and the guy 400l (5yrs course) and I've not been able to get over it.

It happened a week ago, we were together and she saw a post of her ex engagement to his current girlfriend and she started feeling bad, so I asked her what happened and a little bit angry with her thinking maybe she was not over her ex yet, she told me she has gotten over him but she just remembered her past so I try to console her to let go and if there's something she hasn't told me yet about her past that is still eating her up she can tell me. because before now we've talked about a lot of things about our past and we've try to forgive each other and let the past be in the past.
She had told me it was this only guy she had dated and it was the same guy that disvirgined her, I was not bothered about that because I was not a virgin either. She told me she has moved on even before I came and she stayed for close to a year to heal up and all through this time I was asking her out but she never said yes and never told me she was going through heart break.
Now, it's a year and few months into our relationship, she's been a very good girl, supportive and hard working. And now she just told me this, coupled with some lies she has used to cover it up in some of our previous conversations about her school life.
I'm not perfect either and I've had my past which I have told her. I never lived a couples life back in school and it was only a girl I've also had anything sexual relationship to do with.
Why am emotionally down now is because I know what it is like to live a couples life in school, I never lived as one but I know of people that lived as such in school and I know what happens.
Now I don't know if I can forget about this and we move on. I love this girl so much and she has shown to also love me as much and I've tried to forget about what happened but most times when i see her now I tend to always remember and it eats me up.
Do you guys think I can forget about this?

I really don’t know if you would take my advice but I really need you to know that people make mistakes. A woman’s heart is always ready to love but most guys are deceptive and evil so they just play her . But see it as her past has made her a better person for you . So long she didn’t abort o cos I am seriously against that one but even at that if you feel you can still move past that then it’s great of you.

Jasonjay101:


That might be part of it too. But I feel she has shown that she has moved on before now. But seriously bro if you know how some of these couples life in school is, you will understand how I feel.
But anyways thanks.

Yeah like you I never liked people that could degenerate to a level of playing house while still in school. Acting like people that are practically married and the number of abortions most of them rack up before living school is alarming.

On the average such cohabiting students leave school with at least two or three abortions under their belt.

So I totally share you concern about cohabiting while in school.

Kingarthur21:
a lot of people never forget their first love,a lot of girls never forget the guy that disvirgined them. In this case her ex was both. The truth is ,the purest love a girl has for a guy is when they are young. As she grows older,she will swallow the female redpill and not date for love but who loves her and is capable of taking care of her.

She is not the first or last that feel something for an ex. Its normal, most people end up with others and not the love of their life but live perfectly fine. How many married couples do you think married the love of their life?

As for the couple living,you use the word "forgive" as though she cheated on you. The thing is she didn't. Make research ,find out if she has a high body count from sleeping with various men or he was her only sexual partner all those years.
If he was the first and only one she has been with then it doesn't necessarily makes her morally bankrupt.
Whenever someone confides in you of a terrible past, don't show shock or disappointment else they will not tell you more.

When you explain to girls that chastity is not what a guy plays with when searching for a wife they will be arguing and online motivational speakers will be advising them that they are free to have sexual prowess as a man forgetting how guys sees things is different from how ladies see things. They will be shouting "patriarchy" when you advice them.
At the end it is them that will feel used and cheated in the end if after several sex he marries another person. How many guys will feel bad or exploited after couple living only for the relationship not to work?

Let this be a lesson for all!


Check out the comments of most girls on this post, accusing him of judging her. Being skeptical about someone past and worrying if it may affect your relationship is not judging. The way most women are conscious of men financial capacity(which I support) and if he can take care of a family is the same way men are conscious of the sexuality of ladies when choosing a spouse.
They can only rant online but will they force us to marry?

Well said bro. Well said

Jasonjay101:
Please I'm new here on this platform and I just want some advice to clear my mind.

Do you guys think...

In my opinion I think this lady is still emotionally tied to her ex.

She still needs to experience at least 2 or 3 disappointments or heartbreaks so that she will toughen up!

Jasonjay101:
Please I'm new here on this platform and I just want some advice to clear my mind.

Let me just go straight to the point. My girl that we've been dating for a year plus now just told me a week ago that she lived a couple's life with her ex back in school right from when she entered 300l (4yrs course) and the guy 400l (5yrs course) and I've not been able to get over it.

It happened a week ago, we were together and she saw a post of her ex engagement to his current girlfriend and she started feeling bad, so I asked her what happened and a little bit angry with her thinking maybe she was not over her ex yet, she told me she has gotten over him but she just remembered her past so I try to console her to let go and if there's something she hasn't told me yet about her past that is still eating her up she can tell me. because before now we've talked about a lot of things about our past and we've try to forgive each other and let the past be in the past.
She had told me it was this only guy she had dated and it was the same guy that disvirgined her, I was not bothered about that because I was not a virgin either. She told me she has moved on even before I came and she stayed for close to a year to heal up and all through this time I was asking her out but she never said yes and never told me she was going through heart break.
Now, it's a year and few months into our relationship, she's been a very good girl, supportive and hard working. And now she just told me this, coupled with some lies she has used to cover it up in some of our previous conversations about her school life.
I'm not perfect either and I've had my past which I have told her. I never lived a couples life back in school and it was only a girl I've also had anything sexual relationship to do with.
Why am emotionally down now is because I know what it is like to live a couples life in school, I never lived as one but I know of people that lived as such in school and I know what happens.
Now I don't know if I can forget about this and we move on. I love this girl so much and she has shown to also love me as much and I've tried to forget about what happened but most times when i see her now I tend to always remember and it eats me up.
Do you guys think I can forget about this?

So the same guy fúcked her continuously for at least 3 years while in school.

Trust me anytime she sees that guy again the guy will still fúck her if he still wants to.

I understand your dilemma and I don't envy you

See Brother man, listen and listen carefully!

Let her go! I mean it, let her go! I repeat let her go!


This is the one reason Sir Elton John sung a song that reads

*Daniel My Brother.....do you still feel the pain of the scars that won't heal?*


Brother you see this kind of scar. It can Never heal. Believe me, it will still hunt you or her. It will forever be a pain that can't heal. One day it's either he is coming to her or she is going to him for one reason or the other, It must Happen. Also believe it or not, this thought of her past will Always hunt you for as long as you're with her.


I repeat let her go!
A word is enough for the wise.