Tony36353:

Tale of acrimony

Modified just by using the Poly and Uni dichotomy.

landmark86:
I graduated from Osun State Polytechnic, Iree.
She also graduated from Babcock University.

We both met in 2015 during our NYSC at River State. We serve in the same PPA. She is good, lovely and caring. And to crown it all she is beautiful. I mean so beautiful.

It all started with friendship which later led to relationship. We share so many things together during our time in River State as per what the future holds.

After our NYSC, we both went back to our various base. She is based in Lagos while I reside in Osun. Immediate I finished my NYSC, I got a job with a private organisation as a factory supervisor. But she went further for her Masters in Covenant University, Otta. Despite the distance we still communicate from time to time and at times I do find time to check on her in Otta, while she also do check on me in Osogbo.

After her M.sc, her dad got her a job with a big company in Lagos.

Last year December she came to Osogbo as usual to check on me but fortunately she met my parents and my siblings at my place. They all love and accept her. When she was leaving the next day she told me that her parents told her that they want to meet her fiancé.

12th January, 2020 I travelled down to Lagos to meet her parents. When getting there I met her parents with her only sister. Her dad ask of my parents, state, my qualification and what I do for a living. I told him and immediately he stood up and told me he will never allow his daughter to marry an HND holder.

He said he can't send his daughter to a university & end up marry an HND holder. Never!!! Though my gal is not in support of that, even ever since that time till now she's not her self in that house.
I truly love her and I know she truly love me too. But her parents is the major concern.
Should I call it quit?

Please your advise is needed, what should I do?

If she truely love you then hold on a little bit to see if her love will fade away or otherwise.... If her love remains strong, join her in the fight, if it fades away, find your way and hustle well to prove her father wrong... I wish you all the best.

elefind:

you are a fool, you don't understand English as a language.

a graduate can be at any level of education, high school, college, polytechnic, university.

please learn. fool

You the fool here listening to the cooked up story . Foolish fool

Sometimes you wonder how our parents reason. You don't size someone up because he/she finishes from the Polytechnic and as such he wouldn't amount to much in life. Success in life in all ramifications isn't a function of the tertiary institution attended. It's only here in Nigeria that organisations, establishments, companies disparage between Polytechnics and Universities.
Would the father in question prefers her daughter having a good home with rest of mind being married to a hardworking, ambitious and loving individual or allow educational qualification discrepancy to deny her daughter of true love.
In as much as parents want their children to be married to suitors who are educated (which I totally subscribe to), the ultimate should be hoping for a good home for them.
If a guy is loving, smart, hardworking and ambitious coupled with the fear of God, I will always give my support. This to me is the recipe for outstanding success in life.

humilitypays:
I laugh at you, "when he is done", so you think he is the only one doing Msc in Chemical engineering that will be rushed with a Shell Manager job once he is done The problem most of you young people have is you listen to inexperienced people like you, you don't take professional advice from seasoned professionals, you prefer to believe what people say not what is happening in reality.


Master degree is only helpful when you have lots of relevant work experience in your field...unless you want to join the inexperienced league of Nigerian lecturers with PhD and no relevant experience, teaching nonsense in Nigerian higher institutions and turning Nigerian institutions to mediocre because they only teach what they read on paper without any real life experiences gained from work.



If you like waste your meagre resources on Msc without work experience, that Msc certificate will lay in your wardrobe as an artifact for your grandkids

I know many people who thinks other wise, a lot of people. U speak like as if after one year masters , u can’t also gain work experience. Don’t limit people based on ur own life . U did it that way , doesn’t make it the best way , cheers

adexpa:
It seems the man get some money(babcok n covenant) n he has evaluated you and sees that you did not measure up, you knew where your gal is from n you did not buckle up by upgrading yourself too while she went for her masters. He sees that you are going to draw the girl back n rubbish everything he invested on her. You should know Iron sharpen iron. Leave the girl once the papa disagree n I do not think the man can ever agree.

embezzled money����

Op God will see you through

tidalstorm:
I can see where her parents are coming from. Every parent wants a better life for his/her kid. The expenses they spent on school sef no go be small money.
With your qualifications, you might never be good enough for there daughter. Just leave the girl, work harder and try to further your education to avoid family wahala.
I think it is a social class problem, them dey feel say you no reach their class based on money.

Hmmmmmm u no see plenty people wey no go school but they hammer die? Who BSc epp? This one no be money matter na social affiliation matter.
Cus if poor Bsc graduate come d man house, him go give her daughter out for marriage be that.
Mumu society.

jaxxy:


I'm sure it's not about the degree bt prospects and vision. The guy didnt do a good job presenting himself. Every family has expectations including his, I'm sure they won't be happy with him if he brought an orange seller home as his fiance. He only needs to articulate himself better even if he hasn't yet gotten there. Nobody is saying he must have a better degree or be more than the gal bt he must have smtn going for him.

Why try to excuse the obvious by justifying his rejection on the basis of poor presentation of himself..when it is clear that he been a polytechnic graduate was the basis of the rejection.If he had B.SC will he be rejected? And you saying presentation..havent you met people before that have strong prejudice regarding certain things..it doesn't matter what you say or how you appear it doesn't change their perspective.

..and your trying to equate the rejection of the guy to that of an orange seller is ridiculous and very lame because the guy in question is educated at least to higher education level unlike an orange seller who will most likely be a high school dropout..probably due to inability of her parents to sponsor her education...

He is a supervisor and gainfully employed..suggesting something is going on for him.Please read properly to comprehend the guys plight instead of just saying something for saying sake.

baralatie:

a woman earns #1500000/ month she lives in victoria island the guy earns #180000/month and lives at ilasa mushin.

how do you want the bold to work?

If the reverse were the case and the man earns #1500000 per annum and the man earns #180000 per month, will the emboldened work?

If yes, why?

Midex88:

Nairalanders. I hail o

You dey mind the guy?

lol which rich parent will allow her dota marry a nobody from a low class family.....lol

humilitypays:
I laugh at you, "when he is done", so you think he is the only one doing Msc in Chemical engineering that will be rushed with a Shell Manager job once he is done The problem most of you young people have is you listen to inexperienced people like you, you don't take professional advice from seasoned professionals, you prefer to believe what people say not what is happening in reality.


Master degree is only helpful when you have lots of relevant work experience in your field...unless you want to join the inexperienced league of Nigerian lecturers with PhD and no relevant experience, teaching nonsense in Nigerian higher institutions and turning Nigerian institutions to mediocre because they only teach what they read on paper without any real life experiences gained from work.



If you like waste your meagre resources on Msc without work experience, that Msc certificate will lay in your wardrobe as an artifact for your grandkids

now concerning the lecturing part I don’t even understand your pain, lecturers r doing very well n many people dream to be lecturers. So what’s the blabbing about ? They r inexperienced but they educate the so called experienced ones , like u say ! Please if u are really educated relax b4 replying messages!!

Well am happy for one of the first timer ever a good response by a majority of these that replied to the guys issue.And the bitter truth has been stated too. There guy has to thread softly and be very cautious.so as not to be trapped in a lifetime ugly situation all in the name of trying to marry the girl at all costs with the obvious red flags abound. Very critical flags, marriage is supposed to be a lively union not a hellish one. Many people who fall victim are the ones who complicated issues in the first place. When they would have simply worked away and not marry the said partner.It is the frustration they saw that made either a husband kill the wife or the opposite as we are seeing the huge cases abound present day. Thank you

greggng:



Don't call it quit ...go and upgrade yourself . Is a mere challenge. Every parent want the best for their children ...keep in touch with her while u upgrade yourself through part time or any how. Thereafter go back for her ..Another alternative is for you to give her big belle ....that way high bp go kill him papa..,then you can marry both her and her mama ...the choice is yours

what kind of nonsense advice are you people even giving this guy

That he should not call it quit but use his probably scarce resources or meagre income to go back to school to upgrade his academic qualification just so he can marry one Babcock graduate, what kind of nonsense is that Is she Queen Elizabeth of England that marrying her will automatically turn the guy to Duke of Edinburgh


The op should walk at his own pace, he should not attempt to run in order to satisfy an insensitive man and his daughter which may lead to his crash. He should continue working, saving massively, updating his CV with his work experience, work achievements, job trainings and be applying for jobs in better companies, his current experience will pave way for him to get a better job, and from there a better pay package and he can then enrol for a PGD and maybe Masters if he so wishes to but not to satisfy any lady.


He is a man for crying out loud, all he needs is to sort his financial life first not degrees. Once he succeeds financially, he will even start meeting better ladies with better profile than the Babcock graduate he feels is the best for him now.


His major challenge now is money not degree, let him sort that out gradually.


Many Directors and Managers of companies you see today and envy were not employed as manager, they grew gradually to become that over the years.


Let me use my immediate elder brother as an example to encourage the op and other HND holders reading this thread.


My brother finished with OND, worked small and went back to finish his HND. After his HND, he went for NYSC and with the experience he had with his OND, he got a job in a factory as Technician. He worked there for 2 years and with the experience and his performance, he got promoted to Production line Supervisor, he upgraded his CV with this new role of a supervisor and got a better job in a bottling company as Line Supervisor but with a better pay package.


He worked there for 2 years there and started his PGD, and like 6 months after he finished his PGD while working at the new company, he got another job in a bigger brewery as a Manager earning x4 of his previous salary and he relocated to another state and enrolled for Msc immediately. Before he finished his Msc, he started getting offers from other breweries with better pay pack....he later moved to one big brewery as a manager again, his previous company came back for him again with more packs and offers for him to come back, he went back.


Do you know he is getting offers with some IOCs now as a senior manager

He is happily married with kids now, his wife is a Bsc holder from one Nigeria's top unis, who just finished her Msc and they met when he was in his final HND programme while the lady was an undergraduate in a university.

He started as an OND holder and gradually walked his way up.


I have so many friends who are HND holders working in blue chip firms, some have even relocated to dfiferent countries abroad through their HND certificate. One got a job in Denmark from Nigeria using his HND in Electrical Electronics Engineering.


Many of you commenting are still undergraduate, young school leavers and struggling graduates who still think high of your Bsc and Msc, you guys need real life experience.

HND is only a challenge for people who want to work in Nigeria's yeye federal and state government owned ministries and parastatals where they only focus on paper degrees and certificates without considering people's experience, skill, performance and contribution to organizational growth, which is why Nigeria is a mess with its leadership and government bodies

Liliantalks:
now concerning the lecturing part I don’t even understand your pain, lecturers r doing very well n many people dream to be lecturers. So what’s the blabbing about ? They r inexperienced but they educate the so called experienced ones , like u say ? Please if u are really educated relax n reply messagees!!

lecturers are broke people if you don't know lol. How much are they paid 180k - 250k lol.

I know most of you commenting are young graduates without experience and undergraduates still seeing lecturers as demigods, they are broke, without being prideful, I can pay 2 lecturers comfortably every month, that is to tell you how broke they are and how vital your PhD is

The only thing that make them seem comfortable is sorting money they collect from students after exam to pass or upgrade them, without those dark money they make through sorting and forcing students to buy poorly written handouts, they are broke. For your info, some of my course mates are now lecturers, so I speak with facts.

A HND holder working with NLNG or Mobil or shell will pay 3 lecturers, so get that into your head Lilian

landmark86:
I graduated from Osun State Polytechnic, Iree.
She also graduated from Babcock University.

We both met in 2015 during our NYSC at River State. We serve in the same PPA. She is good, lovely and caring. And to crown it all she is beautiful. I mean so beautiful.

It all started with friendship which later led to relationship. We share so many things together during our time in River State as per what the future holds.

After our NYSC, we both went back to our various base. She is based in Lagos while I reside in Osun. Immediate I finished my NYSC, I got a job with a private organisation as a factory supervisor. But she went further for her Masters in Covenant University, Otta. Despite the distance we still communicate from time to time and at times I do find time to check on her in Otta, while she also do check on me in Osogbo.

After her M.sc, her dad got her a job with a big company in Lagos.

Last year December she came to Osogbo as usual to check on me but fortunately she met my parents and my siblings at my place. They all love and accept her. When she was leaving the next day she told me that her parents told her that they want to meet her fiancé.

12th January, 2020 I travelled down to Lagos to meet her parents. When getting there I met her parents with her only sister. Her dad ask of my parents, state, my qualification and what I do for a living. I told him and immediately he stood up and told me he will never allow his daughter to marry an HND holder.

He said he can't send his daughter to a university & end up marry an HND holder. Never!!! Though my gal is not in support of that, even ever since that time till now she's not her self in that house.
I truly love her and I know she truly love me too. But her parents is the major concern.
Should I call it quit?

Please your advise is needed, what should I do?

get her pregnant already

[quote author=Robisky001 post=89088703]LOL.. Op, the house has harmoniously agreed you settle for your likes to avoid being called a gold digger or an opportunist. [/quote

Seconded!

OP, we the Ndi Elders of Nairaland hereby go with the above verdict. If you choose to do otherwise, do not come crawling back and crying to us for any effing advice or directions!!!


A word is enough for a wise HND Holder!!

[quote author=humilitypays post=89127927][/quote] LOL take a breath

Kobicove:


OP, answer this question honestly...

If you marry this lady will you be able to provide her with the level of comfort she is already used to since she was born?

Love alone is not enough to sustain a marriage these days, money is the main ingredient required!

At the bolded is where you have shot yourself in in the leg.
So you agree that the lady is used to a particular comfort she is not to go below which now brings the question -
Why do we millions and millions of poor and broke nigerian ladies from poor homes who are used to the system and level of comfort yet running away from their broke boyfriends who are ready to marry them? Where are they running to? Are they not used to that level again? Or do we only use this statement when a poor man is marrying a richer lady?
Do you actually think a rich man who overlooks the broke state of a lady and decides to marry her is not compromising on his on comfort for the sake of the So called Fvcking love most people are using to Scam men?
Then all of a sudden, Love is no more primary criteria to marry rather it is Money while Love becomes Secondary and when we preach the Redpill that men should wake up and not settle for Most leeches and Parasites parading nigeria street looking for who to Scam with love, most people will start fidgeting.
Fvck Love, let's scrap that Motherfvcker and just turn relationship/daring/marriage to business, that way people won't be easily scammed

BadLuckonmyGame:
your writing skill is so poor. I'm sure your spoken English is the same. I don't blame the parents. Your types are the ones giving OND and HND graduates problems.

BadLuckonmyGame:
your writing skill is so poor. I'm sure your spoken English is the same. I don't blame the parents. Your types are the ones giving OND and HND graduates problems.

BadLuckonmyGame:
your writing skill is so poor. I'm sure your spoken English is the same. I don't blame the parents. Your types are the ones giving OND and HND graduates problems.

Types

Supported�

silento:
Wetin happen to ur dick give her belle and relax they will call u to sort out things

humilitypays:
lecturers are broke people if you don't know lol. I know most of you are young graduated without experience and undergraduates still seeing lecturers as demigods, they are broke, without being prideful, I can pay 2 lecturers comfortably every month, that is to tell you how broke they are and how vital your PhD is


A HND holder working with NLNG or Mobil or shell will pay 3 lecturers, so get that into your head Lilian

you see , we hv different aspirations in life , not everyone wants what u want , broke is relative, broke to you may not be broke to me , and their achievements and personality beats any oil company worker a million times , everybody will not be rich , but people can achieve their dreams, be average, and happy . Is like saying because there is no much money in lawyering people shouldn’t be lawyers any more .

humilitypays:
You didn't even get it right, it will create a society of forever bitter man-hating single women who have the money but no happiness as young gigolos and playboys turn their hearts to piano, dribbling them around as they continue to search for that missing man in their life till old age.



Most will then fall victim to real life and internet romance scammers and playboys from Nigeria and outside Nigeria.

This is already happening to women in Western countries like US, UK, Australia, etc. And the cause of their problem is feminism and gay practice that are discouraging more of their young men from getting married.


Nigeria will get to that stage with time, I only pity the ladies that will fall victim

It is really really disheartening. See how they call the guy gold digger and should find is level but can't say that to women.
They will tell you women are hypergamous in nature.
Hypergamous kill them there.... Spits*
Who no like beta thing? Is it the man that doesn't like good things?
There is nothing like hypergamy, it is normal human nature.
If you put down toyota camry 2010 nigeria use and tokunbo, most people will pick the tokunbo.
If you place the tokunbo alongside brand new of same brand and year, most will opt for the new. It is not about hypergamy, humans love good things irrespective of the gender yet demonize the male gender and ladies like funmistic.queen and other feminist won't see this as toxic society to men or matriarchy.
Put down fried rice with eggs and turkey and another without eggs and turkey and most will opt for the turkey own.
People will choose a samsung brand new phone to nigeria used. It is not hypergamy.
What the guy did is what any normal human being should do.

stuffs4me:


True talk bro.. The OP is a gold digger and the lady's dad saw his conny tricks from a mile away. Ordinary factory worker with a diploma wants to marry a lady with B.Sc and masters that works in a big company in Lagos.

The OP should go and eat his mumu love.

Look how you are judging your fellow guy... I hope you already have a house and company of your own.

From ur post op, you graduated from the polytechnics. Secondly, u are a factory worker, whether the supervisor or director, it doesn't change much. With these, I can presume u are hustling to make ends meet. Now, juxtapose ur position with that of ur fiancee, who graduated from two of the most expensive schools in the country, u will agree with me that ur social classes are not near equal, hence her Dad's turned down of ur request. However, it depends on ur fiancee and u shaa, but bear in mind that if the father fails to give his consent and blessings, I don't think u both would make headways in ur future union. In conclusion, either u give it time to upgrade ur class academically and financially or you think of someone of ur class, if you are really in haste to settle down.

Their is something more hidden to this, the man is not coming straight, but young man zero your mind, be silent and work on those lapses, by so doing , the same man will be the one to call referring to you as in-law.

Two steps to achieving this ;

(1) Suspend marriege talks with the girl but keep showing her your undiluted love.

(2) Hold unto the Lord for divine direction.

I just read comment and its hilarious.

I know not much about relationship that leads to marriage but Oga OP upgrade your standard, give her chance and hustle. Buy land, Build house, open business, then if possible do masters. Finally go back if she is available.

meetme01:
Op, to be sincere, if you don't upgrade before you get married to that lady if eventually things is sorted. You would have issues in your home.

See, it's not a curse. Married folks can attest to this.

Her standard is much higher academically, financially etc than yours. You have been seen as a gold digger. She would want to reside in Lagos due to her job. Not mainland Lagos but on the island. Can you afford accommodation in Lekki or or VI.? She would have much say in the home because her income is much higher and her parents would be supportive. If you're not careful, your home would be dictated by her parents. Before you know, you would turn to their houseboy. At the long run, a hit or foul language on the lady will end the marriage.

Please, yoruba would say, ile ola niyonu. Another says, iyawo burku se fe, ano buruku o se ni (You can mange a bad wife but the in-law should not be harboured).

If you like yourself, make her your best friend and remain best of friends. She would love it that way and any request for support or assistance, she would be glad.

Marriage is not only about love o.

Sir, please don't let us keep deceiving the younger ones behind us. Don't let us keep beat round the bush and talking with half mouth.
Let us say it out BOLDLY that Marriage has never been about Love But Money, Personal and Selfish interests.
Please, let us quit the lies and know that there is Nothing called Love.
Love is only used and called when a Broke and Poor lady wants to Scam a rich or stable guy into Marriage,, anything outside that is Balderdash

If a man holding a Master degree dates a girl that is holding a HND it is okay, but society seems to have a double standard when it is vice versa.

silento:
Wetin happen to ur dick give her belle and relax they will call u to sort out things

@op if you truly love her as you claimed then don't take this advice .
Some Fathers' are very stubborn , he might still reject you even after pregnanting her.
The last thing you will do is not taking the blessings of parents before.....

chilet4cici:
My little advice don’t marry a girl if at least one of the parent is not in support of the marriage... Thank me later

This is more than prophetic.