darkman

u harsh o!

It is just a pity that you found yourself in this kind of situation, but then I think God is good and beautiful for every
situation. So you may not need to panic. I would say that you are lucky that she is already being taken care of
I mean medically.

My piece of advice for you is this; You may need a lot of patience to live with her. The reason being that her state of
mind had been seriously affected and this will take some times to be corrected. Hence it is your duty as her husband
to take good care of her. Who knows the reason God made it possible for you to cross over from Nigeria to live with
her over there. It is  for a while she will later get well but she needs your unconditional love at this trying moments of hers, so don't you get discouraged, stand by her, try to put yourself in her shoe, she needs you more than ever now.

She has been instrumental to your crossing over to America so she deserves your total support at this time and don't
you deny her this priceless help.
You need to pamper her dont shout on her make her feel important most times even at such a time when she do not deserve it. You may have to treat her like a small baby sometimes. You may need to study her behavioural attitude
and make sure you do not fail to keep the Consultant psychiatrist in charge abreast with all your findings since they don't live with her they may not know how she's behaving at home, but its your duty to tell them from time to time, this will go a long way to better her health because it will give the psychiatrists insight to know how to handle her case more effectively. 

Don't expose her to rowdy conditions, try to avoid things that will make her feel downcast or dejected, try to make her
happy at all times because a "joyful heart is a good medicine but a broken heart dries up the bones" I am very sure
with time she will get over it.

Make sure you monitor her to see that she takes her drugs from time to time, even when she is okay, she shouldn't
miss her drugs, at times  she may decline but you will know how you will pet her to take it or device a means of given
it to her in a subtle way she would not be able to suspect, I am very sure if you can do this she wil soon be alright.

Mind you, keep everything harmful (e.g. sharp objects like knives, forks, cudgels, bottles, etc.) completely away from her and dont you ever mention it in her presence or use it as an abusive word against her in any way or at any
time that she is insane or whatever, whatever, don't get her annoyed and avoid anything that will make her to fret.

Above all commit her case to God, "I am the God of all flesh is anything too hard for me?" say
the scriptures. Cast all your cares on HIM He cares for you. I wish her a fast recovery. It is well, I will be praying for you.

hey man,
the bible says that man is ensnared by the desires of his heart, you obviously had desired stepping on the soil of america (or overseas ) so you didnt look and you leaped, thats not a problem.
the problem now is: barely a month you getting tired, my friend you just have to be a man here, this is what responsibility is all about, it mustnt be convenient for you, if you love her and not selfish interest that took you to america then stand by her, do things that will make her happy, you just have to realise that you have so much job on you man, AS FAR AS AM CONCERNED SHE IS A TODDLER especially in this situation, as you would treat a child so you must do to her, prepare to do this all your life while praying and trying medications so you dont get tired, confess your love to her all the time, its difficult but you can have a way out , just be very prayerful and believe god. it is well my friend. BRACE UP , THAT'S WHY YOU ARE A MAN.

na wa for this guy wen just put everybody for high jump so!

Thank you very much guys for advices, I would really love to stay with her if she had been upfront with me about her medical condition, she didn't tell me that she had schizophrenia when we met, I asked her why did she tell me that she had mental problem she said if she had told me i would probably not marry her, I feel like this a conspiracy from her family,

Marriage is an institution that has no graduation date. If we had been married and she developed the mental problem i will understand that she wasn't like that when i met her then i would gladly give her all the love and attention in the world if i eventually marry her knowing that she has mental problem. But hiding the truth and tricking me to marry her isn't going to work, She has been to psychiatric hospital about 2 times before we met and she didn't tell me about it, , Right now i feel so pissed off that i regret coming to America, The way i see it is that her parents are tired of her and they want to give her away to some dumb African man because they know that NO AMERICAN man will marry her knowing her condition, But they have got the wrong person, I am a true born Nigerian man and i will show that i am and proud to be a Nigerian.

Maybe you all should put yourselves in my shoes. Make u marry girl wey no tell u about her condition after u marry her finish u con find out say na psycho tell me weather u go still dey marry,

This should be a lesson to you all out there.

Sorry about that. . . I feel for you greatly, but with God anything is possible

Nigga u cant eat ur cake and hav it, every scam, sori joy as got a price, pay urs like a man and stop bin a winnie!!!!!!!!

I really sympathize with your situation here.

Count your lucky stars that your wife is willing to seek help and treatment, however. Mine is not so cooperative.

In response to an earlier post about the cause of schizophrenia, yes, the vulnerability to it is genetic, but not directly genetic. There is usually a time of severe stress, trauma, or emotional abuse that triggers the disorder in early adulthood. Mood swings are the hallmark symptom, and can be the most severe. Hallucinations and delusions are also common symptoms, and can be just as destructive to a relationship. The best way I've found so far to deal with my personal situation is to allow her to take control of the situation. Let her help herself, and only intervene if it's absolutely necessary. Those low mood swings tend to get worse if she feels she can't deal with this on her own; it kills her self-esteem. But medication seems to be the common antidote, as long as it's taken regularly. Most importantly, if a medication is prescribed that works, make sure she stays on it. In many cases, patients will feel like they've "beaten" the disorder and will begin to ween themselves off of their medication after a long period without symptoms, but the truth is that no cure has been found yet, and the reason for the lack of symptoms is the medication.

In response to everyone telling you to trust in God, I would advise against it. While a religion can provide comfort in many areas of life, depending on it to magically fix this situation would be ridiculous. Place your faith in science and medicine, where it belongs.

God will help u out

jamyle:


Maybe you all should put yourselves in my shoes. Make u marry girl wey no tell u about her condition after u marry her finish u con find out say na psycho tell me weather u go still dey marry,

This should be a lesson to you all out there.

i can never be in your shoes, lailai
see wetin papers dey cause?
instead of you to marry the ladies in your area, you decided to settle for internet love, thats the reward
bros, in fact, i wish i can see you and give you a very good slap as a brother
i mean, do you mean there are not alot of good girls in your area in Nigeria or wherever you live that you could marry, instead you decided to settle for internet love.
now you are repeating the fruit of your labor, if she didnt have an sickness, you would have been boasting that you are a smart guy,
sorry to say, God don catch you.

as for the poor girl, i wish her well but u, this stupid self-seeking guy, na God catch you
your own don finish because i know it is a matter of time before you abandon this lady

@jamyle
Abeg divorce the girl. What nonsense. You are practically living in a house with a mad woman-she might get worse. Dont worry, american government will take good care of her and put her in a nursing home.

The fact remains that she LIED about her condition. She had always known that she was mentally unstable before she met you but still she lied to you. Thats rubbish-personally,i hate deceit with a passion.

Heavens will not fall if you leave her. People that are advising you to stay with her no not what they say. Asking a nigerian man to stay with a certified oyinbo mad woman

But you sef, because of papers see the mess you have gotten yourself into. Shame on you. Who told you that you cant get a girl with foreign citizenship in naija if that was what you were looking for. Anyway, its too late to scold you. Just free the girl and move on with your life. I hope you expressed your anger and disappointment to the girl's family. Marrying the girl off with her condition knowing fully well that no americana will marry her. Please, show them that naija men have pride and dignity. Let them look for another man for the child. Nonsense!

see what internet marriage has caused u??,

guess u were enthralled by the prospects of emigrating 2 the united states, that u fell headlong into a trap!!!, marrying someone that u barely know,

u gotta get close to ur maker,
He is the only 1 that can deliver u now

earthrealm:

see what internet marriage has caused u??,

guess u were enthralled by the prospects of emigrating 2 the united states, that u fell headlong into a trap!!!, marrying someone that u barely know,

u gotta get close to your maker,
He is the only 1 that can deliver u now

Well said

But u said u were going back to naija
What happened? u changed ur mind based on what the ******* told u??

Well i wish you all the best cos everyone has actually raised a cool & nice suggestion.Stick to God and all is gonna be well buddy.See ya around

chewy21:

I really sympathize with your situation here.

Count your lucky stars that your wife is willing to seek help and treatment, however. Mine is not so cooperative.

In response to an earlier post about the cause of schizophrenia, yes, the vulnerability to it is genetic, but not directly genetic. There is usually a time of severe stress, trauma, or emotional abuse that triggers the disorder in early adulthood. Mood swings are the hallmark symptom, and can be the most severe. Hallucinations and delusions are also common symptoms, and can be just as destructive to a relationship. The best way I've found so far to deal with my personal situation is to allow her to take control of the situation. Let her help herself, and only intervene if it's absolutely necessary. Those low mood swings tend to get worse if she feels she can't deal with this on her own; it kills her self-esteem. But medication seems to be the common antidote, as long as it's taken regularly. Most importantly, if a medication is prescribed that works, make sure she stays on it. In many cases, patients will feel like they've "beaten" the disorder and will begin to ween themselves off of their medication after a long period without symptoms, but the truth is that no cure has been found yet, and the reason for the lack of symptoms is the medication.

In response to everyone telling you to trust in God, I would advise against it. While a religion can provide comfort in many areas of life, depending on it to magically fix this situation would be ridiculous. Place your faith in science and medicine, where it belongs.

@Poster. Please take the advice of the above Nairalander. He is at most knowledegable concerning this conditin. 95% of mentally ill patients are not violent however they can becoem very aggrevated and irritable.

Please do not listen to these Nairalanders that keep telling you to take her for deliverance, pray hundred times a day and so on. They are simple minded people and do not understand the complexity of this predicament.

Learn more about the illness and educate yourself on the symptoms and medications and you will be able to manage your wife or at least have a full understanding of her illness. People with this condition if treated properly, live fairly normal lifes as others. The final decison is yours, stop looking for justifications by others to make your decisions

That woman you married is a human being like you and using your "Naija" sense in this situation will only come back to hunt you later on in life, Pay your pernitance. As for having children. She is well and capable of doing so and the children are not going to come out abnormal in any fashion. Please do not listen to people who simply coin this ailment as madness and ill advice you. They themselves are suffering from the worst disease known to man

IGNORANCE!!!!

I am sincerely sorry to hear this

All d best!

i suggest you leave her im sorry that sounds too harsh but you dont want to spend the rest of your life suffering you might as well be dead. let her family take care of her!

Met a lady on the net and married her within a year is totally un-african
thats the result for your foolishness. now you can realise the mess you got into by placing the cart before the horse.
Turn the problem to God.

there is solution for your problem contact us with this E-mail fatimoolugoke@yahoo.com

Awwwww!

Hi
i just want you to know that i told you earler that i am native doctor i will help you cure the mental problem of your wife.
if you like it not force.
where is your wife now i will help her .

I would advise you to stand by her side. Depression is a big issue in the U.S, especially amongst the whites and black americans. Sometimes, depression leads to madness. In severe cases, they are usually taken to rehab. If you really love her, then stand by her side. Ask her questions, and know her problems. There is always a reason behind every depression. Since you are now her husband, its ur job to comfort her, talk to her, ask her of her problems and try to find a solution to it together. Besides, if you a christian, always pray for her;if she doesn't attend any church, tryna get a good one around and attend together. Another thing, most of those depression drugs adds more to the problem; talk to her doctor in person and tell her what is happening maybe she needs to change her prescription.
If you know you can't handle it, or you don't really love her, then leave. It's better to stay single than live in such situation. Because, you might end up being depressed urself. But, I advise you to stay with her.
I remember the case of a cameroon man here in the U.S, who married a depressed black american lady. He just married her for the papers. After few months, he traveled home to visit his wife , cos he was already married back in cameroon;he later came back to the U.S . After getting a lota money from the black American lady, he divorced her, bought a very huge house and he started living a rich life. A week later, he was seen in cold blood murdered in his house. I mean, this used to be a man I know very well at the African Market. No one knew who killed him, after some time, the case was closed.

Don't ever go native;if anything happens to ur wife in the U.S. U will be held responsible for giving her any drugs. They might even send you to jail before deporting you.Remember, u not an American;so be careful.

Hi there,its okay.what u just said is not strange,i have been on drugs for the past 4years since i was diagnosed with depression and psychosis.if you saw me when it started and you are not liberal you wont want to come close to me.but i thank God that am even better than most people that claim to be alright.(apart from financial issues).listen if you love her two things u can do:stand by her and make her always use her drug.one thing i want u to know is we are all prone to mental illness and anything can trigger it to become a big diesease that can be called a name like schizerphenia.just dont leave her.who says she cant have kids.all she would do is use the drug to a particular level of stability before pregnancy then give the doctor a notice immediately she gets pregnant so as to stop the drugs.all she needs is care,love,trust and someone to believe in her.am 24yrs and a friend indeed.call me on +2348105977902 to talk to a friend which u need now

ayodele123:
Met a lady on the net and married her within a year is totally un-african
thats the result for your foolishness. now you can realise the mess you got into by placing the cart before the horse.
Turn the problem to God.

You don't have to be harsh on him

Dizasparks:



You don't have to be harsh on him

You just respond to someone's post after 11good years. Hmmm, there is hope for every situation that is not working according to our expectation.