Saintmary:

Submitting to a rich husband should be easier than submitting to a poor man who sees himself as the lord of the jungle with nothing to show for it. I'd rather throw my dirty clothes in the washing machine, have a wide yard to spread my clothes to dry, blend my pepper with the Gen if there's no power supply, mop my glazed tiles myself on Saturday, then when I'm done, make lovely meals with ingredients from my deep freezers, take a relaxing shower, dress up and chill out in front of my 50 inch TV while waiting for hubby to join me for lunch. Most men have ego, why not pick the rich ones. Is this not better than having to drag 10,000 with a poor man who swindled you into marriage with "E go better", and will still demand servitude?

rockstarB:

Lols I cant stop laughing. To think it's good ladies that falls for that crap. I just told one I cant marry him yesterday, he wants to lure me with marriage I have read here multiple times by guys "you're not doing a broke man a favor by dating him" then why should I date or marry one? If that translate to "you're not doing a rich man a favor by dating or marrying him" I'd rather follow the rich man since I no dey do him favor too. He doesnt have to be wealthy, but he must have sense and be comfortable.

Saintmary:

Good luck

princessConfy:
thanks to all that advised me. we are not engaged yet I'll just be observing but will put on hold any marriage plans.
Thanks
UyaiIncomparabl
dominique
eniolorunfe
djon78
Graxie
crackkhaus

Mstick:
You Nigerian men are getting bolder oh!



She should be the Kim to her husband? before Kim bailed Kanye out financially didn't you dolts see the sacrifices he made for her and her family?


Kim has a freaking sex tape, tons of nude pictures and ex husbands but Kanye still exalted her to a goddesslike status how many of you can do that?

You Nigerian men expect women to give,give,give and give without carrying about her own mental state. WTF!!!!!!!

Which Nigerian man can do what Kanye has done for Kim? Marriage is partnership for crying out loud!


Dear unmarried Nigerian ladies both young and older, please date men from other countries and races, don't let this men blackmail you.

princessConfy:
seeing this post frightens me more. my relationship of 5 months is giving me headache. he said he can't give me money except I ask. I've tried to explain to him that I'm not good in asking and I don't ask because he said his ex gf used to be too demanding. now I don't know if I ask small he may think I'm pretending if I ask big he may think I'm too demanding. He will ask me to visit and when I want to leave he'll wait till we are almost at the junction before he will ask if I have T.p. anytime we have an argument he will threatened our relationship...
I don tire... cos I don't know if I should continue or quit.. relationship wahala

KanuSE:


How does she explain this when the husband eventually finds out - wouldn't he think she has a plan B.

She will need to be very careful coz this may cause a big crack in the trust btw them.

Mind you, they live together.

KanuSE:


Why 50 & above , why not go for a young blood?

Haaaa I see what y'all are tryna do there, hope it's not what I'm thinking.

blissbliss:


Well said.

What are your thoughts?

candy2016:
because the woman is also at that range

KanuSE:


The couple need to go back to default setting, a therapist to help them find the gem/mojo that brought them together in the first place.

It appears the couple have forgotten their vows and reasons they decided to be together - the wife is even making a bad situation worse by not knowing how to take control of her beloved husband...too bad.

We are humans and no situation is bigger than us...if u know what I mean.

pocohantas:


Purple pill!

Potential energy!! Lmao!

Mizwisdom:




Lol I support her stance. Most times in Africa, women spend more time with the kids than men even when she's a career woman she is still expected to carry the weight of child rearing on her head. ln most homes the girls are trained right from a young age to learn domestic chores so they can be good wives, you will also notice that boys are on the streets during those times, playing soccer or whatever their adventurous minds lead then to do. Have you ever heard a boy being told 'if you continue this way you won't be a good husband'? I don't need to ask if you've heard girls being spoken to this way. When a boy watches his dad beat his mum, what is his mum's reaction? most women still remain in their marriage, giving the impression that they will stay no matter what is done to them. I don't need to tell you how this behavior affirms domestic abuse in a boy's mind and destroys a girl's self esteem.

olabrinks:
Young girls use your youth wisely. It’s easier to get a provider when you’re young, I know what I’m saying. I know what I told my elder sister then when she was dating a stingy broke ass, at 22, that couldn’t even drop one kobo when my mother was extremely sick in the hospital. I thank God for my sisters life, she’s with a stable man now years later. When I met my husband, I made it very clear to him that I’m not the managing type. I like money and I’m not afraid to hide it all in the disguise of forming miss humble wife. Never. If my husband likes, he should misbehave, keep malice, I don’t care at all. I have peace of mind knowing that there’s money in my back account, I have assets and my child is taken care of and set for life. That’s all I’m going to say.

CHoccolaTE:
I keep saying it that women should never fall for the cheap scam of "marry a broke man and build him, grow with him"

Its Absolute crap, men are very egotistical even when it makes no sense, you will see them being arrogant and full of themselves. Feeling like kings and superstars on top nothing. This egotistical behaviour is pronounced when they are dealing with women because religions and African society tells them that women are inferior to them.

Ladies, never marry a broke or stingy man, you dont live in western societies where marrying a broke man can still benefit you because while you bring money for running the house the man will cover the home front and will not boss you around. In Nigeria even when a man is broke he wants to be treated like a king, infact his feeling of entitlement increases and he starts demanding more respect.

Of course this isn't a general thing but majority of them are like that, marry a broke man and still carry 100% house chores on your head and have to deal with stress of pregnancy and raising children and increase your humility to him even while feeding him and providing for him because he is busy having ego issues. Ask him to assist with housework or attempt to make decisions at home that's when he will start claiming you are rude and disrespectful and you are insulting him because he is poor.

Better marry a rich man. Or comfortable man at least. One thing I like about men is that they are not afraid to demand their rights and even extra on top of what they deserve. Women are scared to demand what they are entitled to, the same bible and Quran that made men leaders and heads of families also mandated them to provide for their families but that part of the religions is hardly focused on or discussed because it deals with what benefits women

ImaIma1:


Submission has never meant apologising for his own wrong plus yours.

Do you know that it takes two people (husband and wife) to make sure their marriage works? It is not the burden of the woman alone.

Many of you women use the "virtuous" woman mantra to limit yourselves and take a truckload of nonsense form your men who are supposed to love you like Christ loves the church.

Do you demand love from your husband? Or you only submit and submit until you become a shadow of yourself?

Read Esther chapter 8, submission wasn't the only theme. There was love and respect from the king.

Raalsalghul:


At the bold, valid points, but are the rich/comfortable guys enough to go round for women: at least for those interested in marriage.

If No, then what are their options?

CHoccolaTE:
I keep saying it that women should never fall for the cheap scam of "marry a broke man and build him, grow with him"

Its Absolute crap, men are very egotistical even when it makes no sense, you will see them being arrogant and full of themselves. Feeling like kings and superstars on top nothing. This egotistical behaviour is pronounced when they are dealing with women because religions and African society tells them that women are inferior to them.

Ladies, never marry a broke or stingy man, you dont live in western societies where marrying a broke man can still benefit you because while you bring money for running the house the man will cover the home front and will not boss you around. In Nigeria even when a man is broke he wants to be treated like a king, infact his feeling of entitlement increases and he starts demanding more respect.

Of course this isn't a general thing but majority of them are like that, marry a broke man and still carry 100% house chores on your head and have to deal with stress of pregnancy and raising children and increase your humility to him even while feeding him and providing for him because he is busy having ego issues. Ask him to assist with housework or attempt to make decisions at home that's when he will start claiming you are rude and disrespectful and you are insulting him because he is poor.

Better marry a rich man. Or comfortable man at least. One thing I like about men is that they are not afraid to demand their rights and even extra on top of what they deserve. Women are scared to demand what they are entitled to, the same bible and Quran that made men leaders and heads of families also mandated them to provide for their families but that part of the religions is hardly focused on or discussed because it deals with what benefits women

emmaodet:


To stay single.
It is either a rich man or they stay single.
Mtcheeeeww
As if the rich men too are ready to marry liabilities or ladies from poor homes.
I don't know why ladies from poor homes don't feel comfortable in their level, after all, they grew up in that level.
And i don't like the way ladies talk as if they are doing a poor man a favour by marrying him, they are not and will never do

ImaIma1:


So it is ok to allow the man to be immature, stubborn and egoistic. But the woman has to be the Miss goody two shoes. A man has a big responsibility in marriage and he cannot be encouraged when he fails in that responsibility.

You say love conquers all. From who? The woman alone?

Marriage is mutual...between two people. It's not only the woman that takes vows. It's two of them. So they owe each other. A husband should also be held accountable. He is not immune to being held accountable for his actions.

That's why husbands bully their wives...because the wives don't know what they are entitled to as wives.

djon78:


We have to be balanced when we throw around this word of submission.

The woman should submit but what did the Bible tell the man: husband love your wife!!! How? As Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.

Men even have the tougher task, to love there wives to the extent of dieing for her.

Also note it was the man the Bible commanded to love. The woman was never given that injuction

Definitely of love? 1 Corinthians 13 vs 4 gave the characteristics of love which are:
Love is patient, kind, it's not boastful, it's not proud. It's not rude, it's not selfish etc

Which woman will you shower with all those qualities that will not worship and adore you.

Most of you quote bible to soot your own narrative. You won't love a woman as the Bible commanded you to. But you will want her to submit to you.
That's very very very selfish.

anslem04:



Surprisingly men with these unique attributes are the ones who suffer the worst blows from women , naa such men dey father bastards, women live such men to Bleep with guys below benchmark tell me its a coincidences
... you can research if its not a big deal, the founder of cac ayo babalola life and how is wife treated him. naija male & female deserves one another.

life is not maths where yu say 2 + 2 must =4 , life is a mystery that is my point.

anslem04:





lets not full ourselves, in these modern are there really submissive women, we all know a woman talks 10 in reply for everyone word a man ulters.
Interestingly when women share there story online,i am gentle & calm, i don't talk back whu ask them ... none regardless i advocate men to be more liberal, alway show maturity & understanding, maintain ur stands where needed the r/ship go survive.

djon78:



Not really true. You should love but one should not be mumu.
The man should be firm as a man. But still love his woman.
I mean being balanced. A man should show great love, care and attention to his woman. But on another hand he should be firm and call his woman to order when he messes up.

Women greatly respect those kind of men.
And I am talking from experience.
And I never meant being a doormat or weakling.

anslem04:




With much respect to your experiences, do you know love is neva 50-50, in life 4get the word "balance" the best anyone can get is 60-40.
From collective experience r/ship tends to work or survive beta when a woman loves more. ... i believe u agree no need 4 me writing epistles.

djon78:


Women have higher tendency of being in love or falling in love more than men.
In fact they easier fall in love that's why the Bible was silent on them loving there husbands.

But men have higher tendency of not giving in to love emotions so that's why bible commanded to love.

A relationship works better when a woman loves more but neglecting that love can lead to catastrophe. Many men prefer that situation but they use it to maltreat and neglect there woman. Which leads to scenario like this topic.

We men look at these things from our own selfish position.
You marry a woman that loves you more but at the other hand still maltreat and mess up her life because she loves you more. And this is exactly the case with many Nigerian homes. Many women are in regret.

That's why many of these modern ones go for ready made men. Especially the younger ones in there 20s. They trade off there young freshness for a ready made man. At least she knows what she is getting.

ImaIma1:



People keep talking about wisdom...the woman using wisdom. Is this wisdom not also available to the man?

Submission is not automatic. The Bible talked about love from the husband and submission from the woman but somehow the love is always downplayed while the submission is magnified. Why?

Besides, does submission mean the woman doesn't have a say? Means she has to nod when the husband talks? Not object to anything, argue if she disagrees?

The world has evolved. The man is not the sole provider anymore ( that was one of the things that made them feel like gods). They are supposed to be a team anyway with a leader. That has to be managed well.

emmaodet:


And point of correction ma -
You can Only DATE a rich man (that is the limit of your power in a relationship that God has given you has a woman) but the Rich man determines who he is going to Marry(at this point, a power transfer was done to give the man a leverage or edge to also determine his future without the woman having absolute control and power over relationship)
It would have been unfair to Man if the woman determines who she dates and also who she is marrying.
That means the other gender will always be going to relationship with no protection from his side.
And that is why mist rich guys hardly marry ladies from poor homes because these guys have more than required girls they need in their life time.
They see the beautiful, the busty, big ass, productive and working, classy, financially stable in-laws etc They have far more than enough to choose than settling down with a low budget poor downtown lady all in the name of I Love You scam words and being Deceptively Submissive.

Never Trust the Love and Submissiveness of a Broke Lady

Raalsalghul:


At the bold, valid points, but are the rich/comfortable guys enough to go round for women: at least for those interested in marriage.

If No, then what are their options?