Find or do something that will bring out the motivation in her. I've trained women before. They shocked me with their wills & determination to lose weight despite the wicked exercises I gave them. If she doesn't want it, you'll simply be wasting your time

u need to put her under stress a bit to help reduce her weight. allow her to run errands herself. let her go to the market. and do some chores. as she walks around, it's an exercise. and it's helping in her weight reduction. and then advice her to reduce the rate of her eating all these junks. that's a major factor. all this soft drinks and snacks. and if she's yet to find work u need to help her get a job or establish a business for her because this issue of growing fat happens to mostly house wife. because the more u stay at home the more u r hungry and always looking for something to eat. keeping her busy will make a difference

Bro, I'm happy you knew what you wanted before you went into that union.. I'm glad too that your wife knows your stance on certain kind of body shape that u don't like... No matter how you present the issue here, some people will fault u.. due to the fact that it is a sensitive issue to them or to their loved ones.

If u are looking for a way to approach the subject, After she must have finished feeding the baby one beautiful day, tell her that she's the most wonderful mother in town.. Bring an old pictures of both of u.

Tell her that you are looking for this lady, can she help you locate her? She will understand

Encourage her, both of u should do it together.. Don't leave her to a solitary exercise/ fitness, it's boring for anyone who wants to remain on her comfort zone... Show that you are completely in support of her health and fitness wellbeing

If she was picky about her eating during pregnancy, I think you should cut her some slack cos there is evidence she tried.

I was truly overwhelmed by the whole after birth experience - the lack of sleep, exclusively breastfeeding amongst others. For some, it could be postpartum depression. I couldn't even understand why I was always hungry n adding weight when breastfeeding when others claim they lose weight when breastfeeding.

Cheating is the easiest response to an issue like this but I bet you the repercussions are unwelcome. Kindly work with her to adopt a weight reduction strategy - intermittent fasting, going to the gym, meal planning or whatever works for her.

You will be fine.

Sepsis:


She did. As a matter of fact she did so well to maintain her weight during pregnancy through controlled calorie intake. I was the one who was admonishing her to eat but she was the picky eater because she didn’t want to blow up.

Well it worked. We had a healthy baby. She was fine after delivery. Now it’s like she doesn’t care anymore. Like she can’t be bothered because the husband is going no where and she has a beautiful baby. It appears she’s content and nothing else is important.

I’m tired.



I agree wholeheartedly with this. Habits are key. The cause of this blowing up is the stress eating of junk earlier on but now the damage has been done. It reeks of indiscipline to eat carelessly and thinking about it just makes me mad. Now the determination to lose the weight is out of the window and I’m stuck with a curse.

Waoh....just waoh

Sepsis:


I don’t care if anybody snatches anyone. If it happens, it’s all for the best. I’m in the best shape of my life and all it takes to find a replacement is a decision.

Sepsis:
Hey guys. I could use a little perspective on something that’s been bothering me. Got married for a little over a year now and I have a kid. The baby is not up to a year yet. The crux of the matter is my wife started stress eating after she delivered. Her weight was normal after delivery so it wasn’t as a result of the pregnancy. After delivery, she started eating a lot of junk. She wasn’t staying with me then - she was with her folks. Her eating wasn’t supervised.

Now she came back all fat and bigger than normal. When we dated, she knows my stance on being overweight. I have a special dislike for fat or thick girls. They always look lazy and clumsy and I’ve never been attracted to a fat lady.

Now she’s overweight. She looks way older than I am and I don’t know how to force myself to be attracted to her. When I see pictures of men and their wives looking fit, it makes me wish that was me.

We haven’t taken any picture together in up to six months. She hasn’t taken any either. I can’t post her on my social media because I’m not proud of the situation.

She has a good character and takes care of the baby well. I work full time, run errands and cook for the house. Her main job is taking care of the baby. I have tried to help out domestically to lessen her burden. In fact, since we started living together she hasn’t gone to the market for one day.

I don’t know how to approach this situation. Already I’m sexually frustrated and I’m too young to be feeling this way.

Bro use change of diet. Use keto diet, where you eat alot of fat and small or non amount of carbohydrates. Her body will enter the state of ketosis and the liver will start producing ketone from the fat in her bodyand the body will start using it to serve a fuel instead of glycogen.

If you think i am lying google about it.

I rest my case.

Gloriagee:
Waoh....just waoh

I don’t exactly mean that. But I hate to be threatened with a woman leaving a relationship due to infidelity. Heavens won’t fall

Sepsis:


I don’t exactly mean that. But I hate to be threatened with a woman leaving a relationship due to infidelity. Heavens won’t fall

Hmmn.

You're very insensitive. Your replies are just wow. I mean wow

Lolo24:
You're very insensitive. Your replies are just wow. I mean wow

Because I don’t try to sugar coat it?

Sepsis:
Hey guys. I could use a little perspective on something that’s been bothering me. Got married for a little over a year now and I have a kid. The baby is not up to a year yet. The crux of the matter is my wife started stress eating after she delivered. Her weight was normal after delivery so it wasn’t as a result of the pregnancy. After delivery, she started eating a lot of junk. She wasn’t staying with me then - she was with her folks. Her eating wasn’t supervised.

Now she came back all fat and bigger than normal. When we dated, she knows my stance on being overweight. I have a special dislike for fat or thick girls. They always look lazy and clumsy and I’ve never been attracted to a fat lady.

Now she’s overweight. She looks way older than I am and I don’t know how to force myself to be attracted to her. When I see pictures of men and their wives looking fit, it makes me wish that was me.

We haven’t taken any picture together in up to six months. She hasn’t taken any either. I can’t post her on my social media because I’m not proud of the situation.

Go on facebook and search for Nsikak Effiong. She sells food plans, ask her for postpartum weight loss food plan, then encourage your life to follow up the food plan religiously. You can peruse through her wall to see picture proofs of the efficacy of her food plans

don't be surprised this is a pot bellied man complaining about his wife weight here. Help her out by engaging her in some exercises to kip fit and attain the desired body you want and crave for rather than doing nothing but complain.

She's your wife, if you want her to lose weight, work together with her and don't body shame her because she's added some weight. Pregnancy has a lot effects on women and they handle it differently. She needs you more than ever before and this is not because she's added weight but because y'all need to stay healthy.

LordKO do you have anything to say?

OP, it's usually not just pregnancy that makes women fat but breastfeeding also. I remember adding more weight as I breast fed my baby and not during pregnancy.

She is your garden, so tend her as you will prefer. Make out time to exercise with her, help her with better meal choices.... Help the situation as complaining will make you more frustrated.

Also, if you both can get a hang of it now, better for you as the weight may get worse as more kids are born so establish a routine that works for her so after baby no 2 same principle can apply.

All the best.

Sepsis:


She did. As a matter of fact she did so well to maintain her weight during pregnancy through controlled calorie intake. I was the one who was admonishing her to eat but she was the picky eater because she didn’t want to blow up.

Well it worked. We had a healthy baby. She was fine after delivery. Now it’s like she doesn’t care anymore. Like she can’t be bothered because the husband is going no where and she has a beautiful baby. It appears she’s content and nothing else is important.

I’m tired.



I agree wholeheartedly with this. Habits are key. The cause of this blowing up is the stress eating of junk earlier on but now the damage has been done. It reeks of indiscipline to eat carelessly and thinking about it just makes me mad. Now the determination to lose the weight is out of the window and I’m stuck with a curse.

I don't know how to explain this... When I was breastfeeding, the hunger was so violent that sometimes I will have dizzy spells and almost fall down. You can't understand until you experience this yourself... The hunger that comes is like mercury is boiling in your stomach and then you eat only to get hungry again.... It's real bro. Your wife is not to blame! Help her.

Sepsis:


I’m a doctor. I work full time and weekends too plus I run errands for the house and I cook too. I have side hussles to keep money coming in. Long and short is, I’m an extremely busy man.

I don’t care if anybody snatches anyone. If it happens, it’s all for the best. I’m in the best shape of my life and all it takes to find a replacement is a decision.

Here, you made it clear that you do not love your wife.
I dare to put it to you that you're irritated by her...

Sepsis:


That’s the problem I have- delivery. That’s exactly why I haven’t been vocal about it. I don’t want to come off as insensitive and overbearing and I don’t want to change the way things are negatively. I’m afraid I might never talk about it so it is not perceived as an issue. I’m aware it bothers her already and talking about it might plunge her self esteem further. She’s my wife - I love her with my life and sometimes I wish thick women were my type. Unfortunately, that’s not the case and hence this problem.

She’s taking care of the baby and it’s so demanding. She has been exercising at home but it’s not consistent and I don’t want to put her under that kind of pressure. I feel she should do it at her pace but it should be sustained. Problem is, she doesn’t care because there’s no incentive to it. Her attitude to the whole thing is more like - I have to manage her like that

Here you are, claiming to love the wife you dared to say nasty things about. What a liar!
Do you know what love is?
How do you think she'd feel if she read those words knowing they came from her husband?
You are not a good husband.
A man that cannot protect his wife is not a strong man. You're weak and a coward!
What you should've discussed with your wife confidentially, you brought here for anyone to say whatever they want about her without her knowledge. That is not fair.
As you have done to your wife, millions will discuss your matter without your knowledge.

.

Sepsis:


I don’t exactly mean that. But I hate to be threatened with a woman leaving a relationship due to infidelity. Heavens won’t fall

Stop wasting your time & energy discussing the issue with your wife.She won't listen to you because many women believe deep within their hearts,"They are amazing just the way they are" like that Bruno Mars song.
Instead Introduce Competition from other women.
Take 4 or 5 photos together with your female work colleagues or IT students who possess the body type you find attractive.
Make sure your wife sees the photos & if she asks questions about them,casually respond to her.
In 2-3days,you'll start seeing changes in your wife's attitude to her weight

Pele oh

Sepsis:


I don’t exactly mean that. But I hate to be threatened with a woman leaving a relationship due to infidelity. Heavens won’t fall

That's a good one.

Sepsis:


Because I don’t try to sugar coat it?

Yeah...you should know women prefer to hear sweet nothings.

Mariangeles:


Here, you made it clear that you do not love your wife.
I dare to put it to you that you're irritated by her...

Here you are, claiming to love the wife you dared to say nasty things about. What a liar!
Do you know what love is?
How do you think she'd feel if she read those words knowing they came from her husband?
You are not a good husband.
A man that cannot protect his wife is not a strong man. You're weak and a coward!
What you should've discussed with your wife confidentially, you brought here for anyone to say whatever they want about her without her knowledge. That is not fair.
As you have done to your wife, millions will discuss your matter without your knowledge.

what is love If I may ask you, Why do people crave this nauseating feeling of been indispensable ??. Truth is i love people genuinely but just dont go around thinking I won't live without you, like you're assuming an over bloated feeling of self importance in my life.

crackkhaus:

Yeah...you should know women prefer to hear sweet nothings.

bro i just tire for these girls oo.

DeckXavier:
bro i just tire for these girls oo.

Tell a woman who weighs 170lbs that she is the sexiest woman you've been lucky enough to come across in your life, she will believe you and make herself believe it too.

I honestly don't know how they do it.

Sepsis:
Hey guys. I could use a little perspective on something that’s been bothering me. Got married for a little over a year now and I have a kid. The baby is not up to a year yet. The crux of the matter is my wife started stress eating after she delivered. Her weight was normal after delivery so it wasn’t as a result of the pregnancy. After delivery, she started eating a lot of junk. She wasn’t staying with me then - she was with her folks. Her eating wasn’t supervised.

Now she came back all fat and bigger than normal. When we dated, she knows my stance on being overweight. I have a special dislike for fat or thick girls. They always look lazy and clumsy and I’ve never been attracted to a fat lady.

Now she’s overweight. She looks way older than I am and I don’t know how to force myself to be attracted to her. When I see pictures of men and their wives looking fit, it makes me wish that was me.

We haven’t taken any picture together in up to six months. She hasn’t taken any either. I can’t post her on my social media because I’m not proud of the situation.

She has a good character and takes care of the baby well. I work full time, run errands and cook for the house. Her main job is taking care of the baby. I have tried to help out domestically to lessen her burden. In fact, since we started living together she hasn’t gone to the market for one day.

I don’t know how to approach this situation. Already I’m sexually frustrated and I’m too young to be feeling this way.

stop whimping like a simp! When someone stops working but keeps eating what do you think they will turn to, of course a fatty!

Enough of she's taking care of the baby, you both should get to workout, use the gym but if you can't, you can always do simple exercise at home from watching YouTube.. You are the man tell her what you want, enough of the "man is good" attitude, be straight with her. She also knows she's getting fat, but she's too lazy to fix herself and since you're not complaining, she doesn't mind to keep indulging herself, kick her ass up boy.

DeckXavier:
what is love If I may ask you, Why do people crave this nauseating feeling of been indispensable ??. Truth is i love people genuinely but just dont go around thinking I won't live without you, like you're assuming an over bloated feeling of self importance in my life.

Love is...

Protective
Nurturing
Supportive
Trusting
Faithful
Compassionate
Tender
Patient
Understanding

.....
None of which the op is

BetWinners:

Stop wasting your time & energy discussing the issue with your wife.She won't listen to you because many women believe deep within their hearts,"They are amazing just the way they are" like that Bruno Mars song.
Instead Introduce Competition from other women.
Take 4 or 5 photos together with your female work colleagues or IT students who possess the body type you find attractive.
Make sure your wife sees the photos & if she asks questions about them,casually respond to her.
In 2-3days,you'll start seeing changes in your wife's attitude to get weight

What useless competition is he introducing? This is a very unhealthy advice for a newly married couple. Besides, your advice could end up being counterproductive because she may believe he's cheating; she gets depressed and starts eating more. I'm sure the vows they took didn't include toying with each other's emotions. There are better ways to approach this without having to go that route and one that could create more problems for them.

crackkhaus:

Tell a woman who weighs 170lbs that she is the sexiest woman you've been lucky enough to come across in your life, she will believe you and make herself believe it too.

I honestly don't know how they do it.

And the worse part is that they want you to swallow any bullshit that comes your way and any slight complaint is viewed as " you dont love me" . I just hope the Op's wife gets to her best shape as soon as possible. All these marriage ish don tire me bruv.

DeckXavier:
And the worse part is that they want you to swallow any bullshit that comes your way and any slight complaint is viewed as " you dont love me". I just hope the Op's wife gets to her best shape as soon as possible. All these marriage ish don tire me bruv.

I believe that behaviour comes as a default factory setting in women.

Once you know how to handle them though, you will have very little problems - just tell them what you know they want to hear, but think the opposite in your mind to avoid too much wahala.

I even fear that if the OP pushes his wife too hard, she will start accusing him of comparing her with other women and not loving/appreciating her enough after all the stress she went through giving birth to his baby - emotional manipulation has set in.

Na brain dem take dey follow these people...

@sepsis! You don't need to bother too much , this is your first kid , you should educate urself more on it and dont complain.some women get fat after delivery and with time she will go back to shape , when she stops breastfeeding ,and also the opposite.
Her appetite increased due to her breastfeeding to keep healthy .if she doesn't eat enough and your baby sucks alot she might end up pale and sick.anyways she getting fat isnt a big issue, Just be patient , when your kid starts taking solid and not much on breastmilk, you can encourage her with love to work on her weight , and keep fit...OP! Never you compare your wife or marriage with another.every marriage or spouse has what rocks their boat!.
And note this! As long your wife has started giving birth her hormones wont be the same.it happens to all women giving birth. You should be lucky if she just change in body size , that can be easily amended.
If she lack interest in sex..you are finished ooo.
Nothing can redeem that oo..
So encourage her with love , and dont nag or complain.
Is not easy on her too.

Mariangeles:


Here you are, claiming to love the wife you dared to say nasty things about. What a liar!
Do you know what love is?
How do you think she'd feel if she read those words knowing they came from her husband?
You are not a good husband.
A man that cannot protect his wife is not a strong man. You're weak and a coward!
What you should've discussed with your wife confidentially, you brought here for anyone to say whatever they want about her without her knowledge. That is not fair.
As you have done to your wife, millions will discuss your matter without your knowledge.

This is a faceless forum and this section is notorious for maturity from probably experienced folks. I’ve never been married before. I don’t have the experience to deal with something like this. I just needed perspective on how to go about it without being overbearing.

There’s no point resorting to blackmail. Doesn’t do much to help. I’m just a ordinary man trying to do better in life.