igbowoman:
This is what happens when a man is old enough for marriage but mentally immature.I have taken time to read his responses and the one he talked about a replacement was the most nauseating.
I wonder what advice a supposed married doctor expects to receive from small unemployed boys but let me play along in case the story is true.
Go ahead and replace her with the size 2 and 4 girls you're probably sleeping with.
Infact get 4 new wives weigh them before marriage and impregnate them all and the one that maintains her weight after childbirth you keep her and send the others packing.
Nonsense!

This is really personal. Lots of nerves all over the thread. I hope they find peace.

Sepsis:


She is wired differently. Discussing things with her is akin to making an issue out of that thing. She perceives things differently and I acknowledge and respect it. If I bring it up, it is actually going to become a problem. I need more subtle ways of achieving the same goal without necessarily putting it in her face.

It begins with her diet.
Start by encouraging her to eat mostly whole foods throughout the day.
Whole fruits, vegetables, nuts, beans, sweet potatoes, brown rice, plantain, yam, lots and lots of water...
Encourage her to eat moderately. A little at a time.
No more processed foods.
White sugar, foods containing processed sugar and white flour...

Mariangeles:


It begins with her diet.
Start by encouraging her to eat mostly whole foods throughout the day.
Whole fruits, vegetables, nuts, beans, sweet potatoes, brown rice, plantain, yam, lots and lots of water...
Encourage her to eat moderately. A little at a time.
No more processed foods.
White sugar, foods containing processed sugar and white flour...

I cook our meals. She’s doing this already

Sepsis:


This is really personal. Lots of nerves all over the thread. I hope they find peace.

Na you wey get shamu for ya bed suppose dey find peace o.Your shapeless unattractive wife is the topic remember

Sepsis:


I cook our meals. She’s doing this already

Then portion is the problem.
Portion control is key.

Vloml222:
@sepsis! I believe your kid is already taking solid in support with breastfeeding.well you just have to encourage her with love .she will definitely work on herself.no lady likes to be called fat !
So just give her time.she will come around ( body size).

I’m doing just that. The main crux of this post wasn’t exactly her weight. It was my preference of attraction and how to manage it in this situation while I’m being patient.

Mariangeles:


Then portion is the problem.
Portion control is key.

Portion control is implemented too. There’s no issue with her nutrition whatsoever - quantity or quality.

Sepsis:


You read my post right? I’ve never complained. I’ve never mentioned it. Never brought it up. I support her by helping out at home. I go to the market, cook, run errands, and still work full time as a doctor plus side hussles. I think I am more hardworking and supportive than most Nigerian men are. That isn’t even something we should be talking about.

The crux of the matter is there. I wonder why most females responding to this post are conveniently avoiding it. Someone even tried to insult me above but I overlooked it. Are you guys saying that you don’t really get what the problem is?

From all these, your wife is very inactive physically. Clearly, she has been living a sedentary life. Why won't she gain unnecessary weight?

Bring up this again and discuss with her. Tell her you are ready to help her lose weight, that you will support her through the process, if she is willing to. Most ladies are willing to if they have support from their partner. You'll clearly outline how there would be some changes in her lifestyle from now on. All these should be done calmly, just the way you counsel your patients.

Let her resume some house chores. Let her commence workouts (brisk walks, jogging, skipping) and other exercises she can be involved in, you can check them online. There are some 30-day exercise plans she can follow. Encourage her and monitor her progress.

Look up diet regimens to lose weight,she clearly needs to modify her diet. Clear the house of junk foods and place a ban on junks and other fatty foods in the meantime. Stock the house with fruits and other healthy meals.

Losing weight shouldn't be the cause of a family's problems abeg. With encouragement and discipline, in no time, she'll shed off those body fat.

@sepsis! Now see how you just gave room for insult to your wife, that's bad and sad.honestly if she comes across this thread how do you think she might feel.please end it here.Go sort things with her.you are a doctor and most of Job is encouraging ur patients and giving them reasons why some stuff are healthy for them to keep fit.so pls end this thread.theres nothing you will get out of here rather than insults and so much talks like you and igbowoman.

Sepsis:


Portion control is implemented too. There’s no issue with her nutrition whatsoever - quantity or quality.

Then you have to be patient and bear with her since she's still breastfeeding your child.
I wouldn't advise intermittent fasting at this point.

Mariangeles:


Then you have to be patient and bear with her since she's still breastfeeding your child.
I wouldn't advise intermittent fasting at this point.

I’m patient. But getting frustrated. The more patient I get, the more I realize that things probably wouldn’t change.

Sepsis:


I’m in the best shape of my life. I’m not sure you read my post completely to understand it. Just wanted to respond and launch an attack and I get it. The internet is a place for everyone, including irrelevant people with dense opinions. Have a filled day

dem no dy follow you play(not an attack),you can help your wife shed the fat and you both will be happy.Stop vexing for her

Replace that fattie as soon as possible!

A man should not be cajoled into "managing" an unattractive lady when he has the money to acquire a better woman.

No man should settle for less!!!!

Losing weight is not really about exercise, it’s about food. Because they’re women who go out everyday and work yet they are still big. Take a look at any big persons diet, and that’s where you will see the problem. No amount of exercise can cover a bad diet. It’s very important. Eba, pounded yam, oily foods and excess sugar causes weight gain. She should only drink water, 1-2 meals a day at a reasonable size. Snacking on fruits or vegetables the weight will drop.

Please also consider that she’s a breastfeeding mum, the first year after giving birth to a child is very difficult. The body does not belong to the mother as she has to supply milk for her child. Many women do not get their body back until 2 years plus after childbirth. Your child is not even up to a year and you’re already complaining. I know you don’t want things to get out of hand, but you need to be patient. If she’s in her 20s, you are lucky as weight loss tends to be easier in that age range. Goodluck

All i can say is take her to the gym,follow her because i don't trust gym trainers.Look at bianca ojukwu i think she is in her late 30s or early 40s but she has the body of 20yr old age.
There are also some herbs that reduce fat,you can google it out.

Sepsis:


I’m patient. But getting frustrated. The more patient I get, the more I realize that things probably wouldn’t change.

10 months is patient, plus she’s breastfeeding? It’s not as if she’s just getting fat for nothing, she’s breastfeeding your child and she’s probably overwhelmed with the changes that motherhood brings. During my pregnancy I added 22kg, my face, neck and body turned extremely black, my legs were swollen. Completely different look to how my husband met me, and I know looking at me was probably an eyesore for him, but he had the emotional maturity to understand what happens to women during pregnancy and postpartum. You need to grow up ahbeg, you never see anything in marriage yet.

Sepsis:


I’m patient. But getting frustrated. The more patient I get, the more I realize that things probably wouldn’t change.

I also got over weight after putting to bed my very cute baby boy, I knew I had to lose the excess weight, but then there was no incentive just as you stated.

The day got the ginger to get rid of this ugly excess fat was the day I went to the beach and took some pictures of myself... I almost wailed, I looked so ugly, ugly is even me underestimating it.

I made the sole decision to work on my weight from that day.
I set an alarm every morning, leave my baby in the care of my hubby (he is less than a year old too) and jug round the estate before the sun comes up, it has been paying off.

I do it in my own pace...i don't over do it, in fact I enjoy doing it now.

Please don't tell her she is fat, just make her see that she is overweight and it is not healthy for her.

Sepsis I feel you bro. I never discuss my woman's weight with her except it's her booty we're talking about or her boobs or cheeks because it's a touchy topic.

In fact, if she asks me whether she has added some weight, I look surprised, squint my eyes and act dumb

some formerly thin women believe that after they have a baby, it's okay to rationalise never trying to lose weight, this, they retain it. But what women don't understand is that some men don't want to touch a woman they can't get their arms around!

Here's the flow of things, your wifey has a child, she doesn't eat healthy or exercise, then she cuts off the sex. the public will defend her by saying "the baby is most important and the husband is selfish which explains what igbowoman is doing.

The reason Ms. Truelove shouldn't be overweight is because it's isn't healthy and she can't make it through the door! Space does not allow me to list all the life-threatening diseases that overeating comes with.

Here's the right thing to do: have patience with her. She's emotionally hurt and needs to heal. Help her by taking long walks and then jogging with her. You should be serving her veggies and fruits for meals a few dash of carbs.

Why? becos it's loving and supportive. And she would do the same for you since she knows your stand on body weight even b4 you got married. Never refer to her as a Nama or Cow in public. Keep telling her how pretty she looks and watch the fat melt away.


PS : The key is, if you're going to get married discuss it up front with Ms Right how you feel about fat. "hey baby, what are your thoughts about getting fat?"

"I mean we don't want any BIG surprises down the road. Remember, marriage is for a long long time and unconditional love is only for Good Samaritans or men with an extra long pair of arms to go round that hips when it gets to size 18

On the other hand, if she has a LOW INTEREST LEVEL in you before the marriage... (a.k.a just got married in other to avoid the single life) then it's only normal for her to lose sight of your turn-ons because she's now focusing on her true love which is her baby.

And it's actually deceitful on her if that is the case.

Hope you get it right with her bro. peace!

Sir fat no mean o as long as there's love. Na love sure pass. Don't mind people here telling you to marry another wife o..just advise her not to be eating too much and two of una fit dey do exercise also. That kind early morning walking...

eniolorunfe:
Wahala dey o! On top say your wife is a nursing mother you dey complain like this...

It is well !!!!

should he wait until wifey is 400kg (and stop nursing) to say whats on his mind?!?!?

Dump her and marry another wife. Please hurry up after all women are everywhere begging to be married. Just go ahead, this time check the gene of the new girl. How can your wife grow fat after watching her weight during pregnancy? You need a banging body my doctor, please make sure you get it before the year runs out. Why should you be frustrated when you are with both the yam and the knife. Enjoy your life jare. I hope young girls and single girls are reading this, a man that told you he hates fat women, you still went ahead to marry him thinking he will change his mind. Until we learn how to respect people's feelings and emotions, marriage will continue to be difficult for some people.

Excesslove222:


I set an alarm every morning, leave my baby in the care of my hubby (he is less than a year old too) and jug round the estate before the sun comes up, it has been paying off.

I do it in my own pace...i don't over do it, in fact I enjoy doing it now.

Please don't tell her she is fat, just make her see that she is overweight and it is not healthy for her.

It took a while but I’ve found what I was looking for. We can do this.

Such a sad topic, you really need to talk to your wife. There's no reason keeping it away from her since you're bold enough to bring it on the internet.

I really did put on a lot of weight after my last baby, I wasn't eating much but I drank a lot of tea and it made me balloon. After I stopped breastfeeding I lost more than half my body weight in a month. Everyone though I was sick even my husband.

My advice, she needs to stop breastfeeding since your baby is already 10 months, stop taking milk and Milo this two things are one of the major reason breastfeeding mothers gain weight, take more liquid and do light exercises.


Sepsis, my advice to you is this, marriage is between two people if you can't talk to your wife even as helpful as you're around the house then am afraid your marriage isn't going to work. You can tell your wife any and everything as long as you say it with love, respect and at the right time.

For better, for worse.

How old is your baby, and is she still breastfeeding?

Sepsis:
Hey guys. I could use a little perspective on something that’s been bothering me. Got married for a little over a year now and I have a kid. The baby is not up to a year yet. The crux of the matter is my wife started stress eating after she delivered. Her weight was normal after delivery so it wasn’t as a result of the pregnancy. After delivery, she started eating a lot of junk. She wasn’t staying with me then - she was with her folks. Her eating wasn’t supervised.

Now she came back all fat and bigger than normal. When we dated, she knows my stance on being overweight. I have a special dislike for fat or thick girls. They always look lazy and clumsy and I’ve never been attracted to a fat lady.

Now she’s overweight. She looks way older than I am and I don’t know how to force myself to be attracted to her. When I see pictures of men and their wives looking fit, it makes me wish that was me.

We haven’t taken any picture together in up to six months. She hasn’t taken any either. I can’t post her on my social media because I’m not proud of the situation.

She has a good character and takes care of the baby well. I work full time, run errands and cook for the house. Her main job is taking care of the baby. I have tried to help out domestically to lessen her burden. In fact, since we started living together she hasn’t gone to the market for one day.

I don’t know how to approach this situation. Already I’m sexually frustrated and I’m too young to be feeling this way.

I understand your concerns but marriage is about compromise and here's how you can achieve that.

Start jogging and take her along with you. Join a gym and register her there too. Don't let her use the baby as an excuse by inviting maybe a nanny or a family member to watch the baby while you two exercise. She needs motivation to work on herself but she won't do it until you push her to.

However, if she fights you constantly on the exercise stuff, involve her parents and relay your concerns to them so she herself can see where water has started entering the boat. Peace

Sepsis:


That’s the problem I have- delivery. That’s exactly why I haven’t been vocal about it. I don’t want to come off as insensitive and overbearing and I don’t want to change the way things are negatively. I’m afraid I might never talk about it so it is not perceived as an issue. I’m aware it bothers her already and talking about it might plunge her self esteem further. She’s my wife - I love her with my life and sometimes I wish thick women were my type. Unfortunately, that’s not the case and hence this problem.

She’s taking care of the baby and it’s so demanding. She has been exercising at home but it’s not consistent and I don’t want to put her under that kind of pressure. I feel she should do it at her pace but it should be sustained. Problem is, she doesn’t care because there’s no incentive to it. Her attitude to the whole thing is more like - I have to manage her like that

You are really trying to sound politically right however the bolded gave you away. Deep down you are already contemplating giving her a PUSH a possible rival and being a Doctor gives you lots of chances and options.
Lol, would you ruin your marriage because you aren't patient, expressive and convincing enough? You've being married for just a year and you are already this way? Hmmmmm. You think marriage is rosy?

Here's the fact the first one or two years of marriage isn't always fun. As a matter of fact Couples have more arguments and misunderstandings because they are just getting to know each other. I understand if you feel your partner is not pleasing you but I find your "perceived solution" very disturbing. Call your woman and TALK! You are a doctor, help her through it. This is the time to fight for your marriage not the time to start looking for easy way out.

Sepsis:


I’ve never brought this issue up before. I’ve never complained about it. I’ve just been patient and understanding waiting for change. I just need the woman I married back again.

So how long do you think you can wait before you have sex with her again? You do know losing weight whichever way is not something that can be done with a click of the finger, it's a slow process that can take months, you know that right? How long will you wait before your eyes and down there go outside?

post her phone number here

Graxie:
Dump her and marry another wife. Please hurry up after all women are everywhere begging to be married. Just go ahead, this time check the gene of the new girl. How can your wife grow fat after watching her weight during pregnancy? You need a banging body my doctor, please make sure you get it before the year runs out. Why should you be frustrated when you are with both the yam and the knife. Enjoy your life jare. I hope young girls and single girls are reading this, a man that told you he hates fat women, you still went ahead to marry him thinking he will change his mind. Until we learn how to respect people's feelings and emotions, marriage will continue to be difficult for some people.

Exactly! (abeg put that gbamsolutely meme here)

I don't understand this long talk. Uncle said he doesn't like fat women yet she carry her head chook for inside marriage. Now she don fat finish and Uncle is here disturbing us about something that should have been avoided from the start.

Uncle should divorce her and marry exactly his spec. Women boku, especially the ones that won't add any weight. If he search well, he'll find those ones within a week.