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My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe - Romance (12) - Nairaland

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Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by PHijo(m): 7:17am On May 11, 2020
ModestGal:

Of course, marrying someone from ones tribe doesn't make one to be a tribalistic, but publicly saying one shouldn't marry from other tribes is an attribute of a RACIST. And Racists a re mentally unstable people with too much ethnic ego. And truth is that these people are usually with the worst ethnic behaviour

I am a nationalist, I am not in anyway racist. I treat people of other races fairly.
Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by shobam1410(m): 8:16am On May 11, 2020
Renida:



You're Akwa Ibom. Let me speak to you as an elder. Dismiss that love immediately and go do your mother's bidding. I won't state my reasons. You were told o cool
This advice is a total bullshit. Op, I'm shocked that you are still be controlled by your parents at 33 on the matter of Who to marry or not.
Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by Renida: 8:18am On May 11, 2020
shobam1410:
This advice is a total bullshit. Op, I'm shocked that you are still be controlled by your parents at 33 on the matter of Who to marry or not.



Child. You don't know what's up cool
Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by tomju(m): 8:18am On May 11, 2020
Only one way my guy. Go and propose to your mom! Atleast she is from your tribe. Case closed. Next thread please

1 Like

Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by jbaby4u: 8:20am On May 11, 2020
nyzeo:
I am 33 and I come from a state from the south south. I met a girl in Lagos 4 years ago who is from the south east and we have been very good friends ever since then.

I have developed very strong affection for her over time and we started dating. We really love each other now and we have have finalized plans to get married anytime between this year and early next year.

The issues now is that my parents are insisting I marry from my state, somebody who speaks the same language. It has caused me to have issues with my mother because she is the orchestra of all this tribal bigotry.

Please lala and house memeber make una advice me abeg. I have found someone who truly complements my life I really sincerely love this lady. Thanks

Do not ignore their concern. Try to find out if there is more to that. Ignoring one’s parents in making marital decisions is not always good in the long run.
Pray, pray and pray again for understanding and the will of God to be done.
Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by tradepunter: 8:20am On May 11, 2020
Guy marry your fking tribe.... It's not about tribalism, it's about conflict resolution when there are things your immature minds can't handle in marriage...

Nah like so my friend wife jappa go her village instead of her parents to scold her and send her back... They were like my daughter, chai that man is wicked ooo...

It was her wise uncle that finally Spoke to her porus brain... Man nuh beat you, he provides for you, he takes care of the family...

You now take advantage of having your way with him, now he stands his ground he's is evil and all his people are wicked...

The man couldn't travel to the girls village because they reside in Lagos and girl village dy east... Calls she nuh pick, girl mama sef dy form Don jazzi, popsi tire for the matter...

I come to tell myself assuming say they come from the Same state, the family members or even villages chiefs for resolve the issue sharply..

If not for the uncle of my friend wife, she for not let the guy see the children... All because he refused to be taken advantage of

1 Like

Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by hairyman(m): 8:34am On May 11, 2020
It is not tribal bigotry, (unless it was specifically proven to be so) your parents are doing you a lot of favor. And you need to show them more respect (the ease with which you referred to your mother as a bigot smacks of all these newly minted western values. But guess what, they are an accultural people and 50% of their marriages fail)

Unfortunately when we are young, we don't realize how relevant a lot of things are.
But at least, you can find where it is written and read; marriage across cultures has a higher probability of failing.

At the very least, listen very carefully to what they have to say and think very deeply about it.
Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by greggng: 8:36am On May 11, 2020
nyzeo:
I am 33 and I come from a state from the south south. I met a girl in Lagos 4 years ago who is from the south east and we have been very good friends ever since then.

I have developed very strong affection for her over time and we started dating. We really love each other now and we have have finalized plans to get married anytime between this year and early next year.

The issues now is that my parents are insisting I marry from my state, somebody who speaks the same language. It has caused me to have issues with my mother because she is the orchestra of all this tribal bigotry.

Please lala and house memeber make una advice me abeg. I have found someone who truly complements my life I really sincerely love this lady. Thanks


Tell them that if they insist you marry from your tribe, that you won't marry forever ...watch theur reaction ...they will prefer you marry a mad woman from anywhere ...so far as your prick can produce children for them...
Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by Denko2721987(m): 8:37am On May 11, 2020
safarigirl:


This is so odd for me, I simply cannot relate to this love lost thing.

My place shares a boundary with Akwa-Ibom state, so, we are even closer to the Ibibio than Igbo side and both villages intermarry a lot. I have cousins from Akwa-Ibom, and such. So, this enmity you speak of is very new to me.

Well.. It's my perception from the many experiences i've seen around me so maybe i was wrong to generalise in the first which is something one is always tempted to do when so many particular scenarios play out around us forgetting that it may be a tiny fraction the real facts.. So pls don't take my word strongly for it ok, good morning..
Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by klufs(m): 9:08am On May 11, 2020
tradepunter:
Guy marry your fking tribe.... It's not about tribalism, it's about conflict resolution when there are things your immature minds can't handle in marriage...

Nah like so my friend wife jappa go her village instead of her parents to scold her and send her back... They were like my daughter, chai that man is wicked ooo...

It was her wise uncle that finally Spoke to her porus brain... Man nuh beat you, he provides for you, he takes care of the family...

You now take advantage of having your way with him, now he stands his ground he's is evil and all his people are wicked...

The man couldn't travel to the girls village because they reside in Lagos and girl village dy east... Calls she nuh pick, girl mama sef dy form Don jazzi, popsi tire for the matter...

I come to tell myself assuming say they come from the Same state, the family members or even villages chiefs for resolve the issue sharply..

If not for the uncle of my friend wife, she for not let the guy see the children... All because he refused to be taken advantage of
This is the best post I've seen so far. The advantage of marrying your tribe lies in conflict resolution. Cos troubles are bound to occur. I am an Akwa ibomite, I stay in Lagos, I have a senior colleague that got married to an igbo girl and the girl left him one day with his son. It was hard to meet her family because of distance and the little moves failed. Now the guy despite paying monthly maintenance only sees his son on WhatsApp status and is looking to marry afresh from Akwa ibom this time. He adviced me as a brother and I have also advised myself. It will take an extraordinary situation and person to make me marry outside Akwa ibom.

1 Like

Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by Stanchez(m): 9:11am On May 11, 2020
Evil knows no tribe, religious beliefs, family, country or whatever denomination you may be from. The earlier we start seeing people as individuals instead of tagging "yoruba person" "aboki" "omo igbo" to their heads, the better for our country...I like this one[color=#990000][/color]
Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by Dipwater(m): 9:17am On May 11, 2020
Graysons:
Which state in the south south are you from?

since we have south south.pls where is east east.i dont understand why we keep dividing ourselves with politics.

Bayelsa,akwa ibom,delta etc are all south east states.

South south or north north whatever. Is that particular point on the cardinal point .anything to the left or right is south west or south east.

Knowledge is power bro
Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by osazuwa23: 9:27am On May 11, 2020
They probably will mind you the prents might think they stole that money and they dont want to be associated with that particuar tribes sterotypes . when you from a different tribe and you other things about other tribes the sterotypes that [opping into your head it hard not to but it does come inot recognition
Kizzygentle:
Your a man. They shouldn't dictate for u. Gone are d days when parents force children to Marry from the same state or tribe. The only reason they would bring tribe as an issue is if they just don't like d lady naturally and they use it as an excuse. If it's dangote or adenuga's daughter they will never reject her.
Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by PeaceMinded: 9:28am On May 11, 2020
nyzeo:
I am 33 and I come from a state from the south south. I met a girl in Lagos 4 years ago who is from the south east and we have been very good friends ever since then.

I have developed very strong affection for her over time and we started dating. We really love each other now and we have have finalized plans to get married anytime between this year and early next year.

The issues now is that my parents are insisting I marry from my state, somebody who speaks the same language. It has caused me to have issues with my mother because she is the orchestra of all this tribal bigotry.

Please lala and house memeber make una advice me abeg. I have found someone who truly complements my life I really sincerely love this lady. Thanks
Bro I don't it wise to ignore your parents advise on issues of marriage. What i will advise for you to do is give it a little more time and pray and seek God's guidance. If it is the will of God for you guys to be married, your mum will be made to have a change of heart.
Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by osazuwa23: 9:29am On May 11, 2020
osazuwa23:
They probably will still reject adenuga or dangote if the parents think they stole that money and are not a good a family like they say looks can be deceiving. Also parents dont want to be associated with that particuar tribes sterotypes that come along with marriage . when your from a different tribe and you marry another tribe those things about them come to your head sometimes
Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by addexx: 9:48am On May 11, 2020
nyzeo:
I am 33 and I come from a state from the south south. I met a girl in Lagos 4 years ago who is from the south east and we have been very good friends ever since then.

I have developed very strong affection for her over time and we started dating. We really love each other now and we have have finalized plans to get married anytime between this year and early next year.

The issues now is that my parents are insisting I marry from my state, somebody who speaks the same language. It has caused me to have issues with my mother because she is the orchestra of all this tribal bigotry.

Please lala and house memeber make una advice me abeg. I have found someone who truly complements my life I really sincerely love this lady. Thanks

Bro I'm curious. You really 33? I don't get Jeez . That's the age of Sebastian Kurz the leader of Austria. Kim of North Korea was way younger when he was shaking nations to their bones. I'm very confused bro, are they paying your bills? Were you spoonfed all your life? Do you really love your fiancee? What happened to your balls bro shocked. Is it still there, pls check? It's not adding up that at this stage of your life all with the way the world is moving at the speed of light, you are worried about tribe and your parents approval before you can settle. The ficklest of all fickle that you can waive off with a disgusting laughter. Upgrade bro, wish you all the best.

2 Likes

Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by padoc90(m): 9:58am On May 11, 2020
This is exactly what is happening to me. Reverse of your situation. I’m from Enugu while my girlfriend whom I have dated for three years hails from Akwa Ibom State. We intended to institute marriage introduction January 2020 but the stiff resistance from my siblings and mother resulted to the postponement till they could see reasons with me.
I really do not comprehend the reason(s) our relations entertain fear of the unknown when it comes to intertribal matrimony even when they are exposed and educated.
Please share with me the solution when you must have conquered yours�

1 Like

Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by Princelegacy: 9:59am On May 11, 2020
nyzeo:
I am 33 and I come from a state from the south south. I met a girl in Lagos 4 years ago who is from the south east and we have been very good friends ever since then.

I have developed very strong affection for her over time and we started dating. We really love each other now and we have have finalized plans to get married anytime between this year and early next year.

The issues now is that my parents are insisting I marry from my state, somebody who speaks the same language. It has caused me to have issues with my mother because she is the orchestra of all this tribal bigotry.

Please lala and house memeber make una advice me abeg. I have found someone who truly complements my life I really sincerely love this lady. Thanks

i guess you are from akwa ibom right?

It's your life not theirs
@33 and your parents are still controlling you............you are not ready to head a family period

1 Like

Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by madgoat(m): 10:13am On May 11, 2020
nyzeo:
I am 33 and I come from a state from the south south. I met a girl in Lagos 4 years ago who is from the south east and we have been very good friends ever since then.

I have developed very strong affection for her over time and we started dating. We really love each other now and we have have finalized plans to get married anytime between this year and early next year.

The issues now is that my parents are insisting I marry from my state, somebody who speaks the same language. It has caused me to have issues with my mother because she is the orchestra of all this tribal bigotry.

Please lala and house memeber make una advice me abeg. I have found someone who truly complements my life I really sincerely love this lady. Thanks
A baby at 33 years old that cannot stand and take decisions that affect his persona life grin
Truly you are not fit for marriage yet. Still be living in your mummy's house till u are old enough to stand on your own and take decisions.
Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by PHijo(m): 10:16am On May 11, 2020
Dipwater:


since we have south south.pls where is east east.i dont understand why we keep dividing ourselves with politics.

Bayelsa,akwa ibom,delta etc are all south east states.

South south or north north whatever. Is that particular point on the cardinal point .anything to the left or right is south west or south east.

Knowledge is power bro

Based on your thinking, Delta is a South western state.
We are not one!
Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by Cre8tivespak(m): 10:28am On May 11, 2020
This is a very sensitive issue, you need to respectfully discuss your decision with your parents citing reasons why it's important for you to marry a lady love regardless of the tribe. And that discussion should take place, after you are convinced that morally and spiritually she's the one for you...mind you I'm not talking about physical beauty here, you need to ensure she has the right attitude to be your wife because that's what matters most in marriage.

I wish you the best, may the Lord guide and direct your decision.
Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by OriOko88(m): 10:31am On May 11, 2020
Ereolamide:

Your father's blue balls
Nio ba obo iya e. Eleriibu omo.
Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by EMMALEX4REAL: 10:37am On May 11, 2020
topedoski:
@ 33yrs ur parents still decide who u mingle with?
Well u still have 7 more years to be a fool forever wink
u nobi am at all lol
Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by topedoski(m): 10:59am On May 11, 2020
grin grin
EMMALEX4REAL:
u nobi am at all lol
Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by OkpanachiMax: 12:31pm On May 11, 2020
For me, it is either my tribe or a white woman grin
I hate tribal war and sentiment so I won't want to put my children through all that. angry
Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by OkpanachiMax: 12:32pm On May 11, 2020
In the Bible they so careful that they even marry based on family, look at Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by newmoney133: 12:34pm On May 11, 2020
H

1 Like

Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by Nobody: 12:38pm On May 11, 2020
Why must you marry from the South-East? Girls don finish for South-South? Abeg leave my Igbo sisters alone.

1 Like

Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by Drizzy5001(m): 1:43pm On May 11, 2020
Ginomel:




They are very peaceful people and really Hope to have people that are peaceful too.

Nothing more nothing less. Do you have a friend from cross River or Akwa Ibom, you will understand what I am saying.
of course I have a lot of friends from there , I know they are peaceful people..but u will rarely see them marrying people from other tribes
Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by Nobody: 2:17pm On May 11, 2020
humilitypays:
Tell them!


In as much as we all want to act civilized and also encourage peace, unity and diversity through intertribal marriage.....it comes with a lot of pitfalls.....my parents once advised an elder brother against this but he felt he was too civilized and married from another tribe.....his marriage today is like hell and on the brink of total collapse all because of cultural disagreements as a result of cultural differences ad misunderstandings.


Whenever there is marital issues, intertribal marriages hardly survive the turbulence unlike same tribe.


Op, please listen to your parents

Please stop being narrow in your assessment of life. If he married from your tribe, what is the probability that they won't have issues? Now that he has issues, you are all quick to point fingers at tribe. Any individual can have issues with another individual and it can either be fruitful or fruitless. Their issues may not arise from tribe but individual differences.

Someone who married from same tribe, same church, same village no dey divorce or get issues?
Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by humilitypays(m): 2:33pm On May 11, 2020
Thiwalade:


Please stop being narrow in your assessment of life. If he married from your tribe, what is the probability that they won't have issues? Now that he has issues, you are all quick to point fingers at tribe. Any individual can have issues with another individual and it can either be fruitful or fruitless. Their issues may not arise from tribe but individual differences.

Someone who married from same tribe, same church, same village no dey divorce or get issues?
Nne if u like marry from Chad, that's your choice. Intertribal and interracial marriages come with lots of challenges, only few survive the turbulence and yes marriages between same tribe or race also have issues, but resolving it is usually easier than intertribal or interracial marriage issues.

You won't understand until it hits you hard.

Intertribal and interracial marriages may sound tüsh and in vogue, but their wahala too much

1 Like

Re: My Parents Won't Allow Me Marry Outside My Tribe by humilitypays(m): 2:37pm On May 11, 2020
OkpanachiMax:
For me, it is either my tribe or a white woman grin
I hate tribal war and sentiment so I won't want to put my children through all that. angry
Honestly people marrying from other tribes in Nigeria are taking big risk with the intertribal hatred that exist between every tribe in Nigeria, and you want your innocent kids to be victims of your foolish and irrational decision.


Marry from your tribe young women. Women suffer the danger of intertribal marriage more, ladies be wise!!

1 Like

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