U are so privileged to have parents that can stiill guide you through life at this stage.. What your parent can see sitting down.. U cant see it if u climb the roof of house.. Just listen to your parents pray for a good spouse from your tribe so that u can have eternal peace of mind.. Be wise

humilitypays:
In every rule in life, there is always an exception.


Coronavirus is deadly, but so many people are surviving it!


Whenever there is marital crises, marriages of people from same tribe who share similar values, culture, tradition survive better than marriages between people from different tribe or race.


Another thing you need to pray for is long life, pray to live long to continue to stand in for your wife cos if anything happens to you while young, then your wife will realize her mistake of marrying outside her tribe......yours can also be an exception though

. Very very true speaking from experience

gypsey:
Show me!

I will when you pay my bride price

there is one girl akwa ibom girl that I love but she told me can't marry cos her parent had warn her never to marry another tribe or else they'll disown her

I told since we are of same religion it's nothing to worry about but she said her parent will curse her

toni4691:
What your parents saw while sitting on a chair , you may not see it while standing up. OK , I will give you an example of marriage . Let's assume a man dies after marriage, what would be the relationship between the widow and the family of the man . In most cases , there would be none . Especially when the lady is from another tribe. Again, marriage isn't friendship alone, it's actually more than that . Marriage isn't bad of roses.

Someone I know married outside her state , the lady died after childbirth, two months after she was buried, her family couldn't locate the husband and her kids . Please listen to your parents . All the best .

. Well said. This present generation thinks because they are more educated than most of their parents then they are wiser when it hit them, another thread will be open

Briller:
My dear, I know that feeling but trust me, don't marry without the buy-in and blessings of your parents. It's gonna be hell.

I wish I knew this when I was about getting married. My dad died many years ago and when I met my husband to be, an uncle tried to delay the process (by genuinely advising that I slow down), all in the name of making inquiries but I dismissed him claiming he wanted to come up with excuses that does not exist because his daughters were way older than me and still unmarried. Mind you, I had just met my husband about 2months and already fixing wedding). Remember the saying that what an adult sees seeing can never be seen by a child who climbs an iroko tree. Never saw he meant well. Long story short, hubby is not a bad person but existing in his family is hell.

You and your finacée have a duty to try and convince your parents, especially your mum on what you feel for each other. Your fiancée has a duty to learn to show her love to make her dismiss whatever stereotype she has. Let her understand that if she accepts your fiancée after this, she would never regret it and will laugh last.

But ensure you don't go ahead without their nod. Good luck.

Your case is different. You were already planning wedding after just two months without allowing your Uncle Investigate. That is supposed to be a requirement. My family went to my husband's village to do findings on the family.

However, this OP's mum is refusing only because of tribe which is bias. It's her personal issue. Parents are fond of trying to manipulate their children's decisions with the "elder" excuse.

It's the OP I blame sha.

RTSC:

So igbos are no longer the tribalistic people that only like marrying themselves.

You people should pick a struggle.

If igbos revert back to the good old ways, we would never hear the end of it across Nigeria.

na Education and exposure change things sha.

To start with, marrying outside your ethnic nation does not prove you are not a bigot.

Many bigots marry from other ethnic groups for various reasons.

Education and exposure changed what?

Biko, they should revert back to the old ways!

We are not doing ourselves or our societies any good by demonising same ethnic group unions. That should be the choice of preference. Inter ethnic marriages should be exceptions.

OsuIgboIpob:

People like you are the reason why this country has remained like this.
Very myopic.

That is his own opinion for God s sake

nyzeo:
I am 33 and I come from a state from the south south. I met a girl in Lagos 4 years ago who is from the south east and we have been very good friends ever since then.

I have developed very strong affection for her over time and we started dating. We really love each other now and we have have finalized plans to get married anytime between this year and early next year.

The issues now is that my parents are insisting I marry from my state, somebody who speaks the same language. It has caused me to have issues with my mother because she is the orchestra of all this tribal bigotry.

Please lala and house memeber make una advice me abeg. I have found someone who truly complements my life I really sincerely love this lady. Thanks

which state are u from

nyzeo:
Akwa ibom

me am from Calabar but u c ur people are very wicked and will not marry from there.

You cannot marry Igbo akwa ibom people don't have the financial muscle

Your parents are tribalistic goats believe me

[quote author=nyzeo post=89384279]I am 33 and I come from a state from the south south. I met a girl in Lagos 4 years ago who is from the south east and we have been very good friends ever since then.

I have developed very strong affection for her over time and we started dating. We really love each other now and we have have finalized plans to get married anytime between this year and early next year.

The issues now is that my parents are insisting I marry from my state, somebody who speaks the same language. It has caused me to have issues with my mother because she is the orchestra of all this tribal bigotry.

Please lala and house memeber make una advice me abeg. I have found someone who truly complements my life I really sincerely love this lady. Thanks [/qu

Na woman know woman o. I beg you in the name of God, listen to what your mum have to tell you. Do not let your emotions for this lady override your reasoning. Am speaking from experience o.

PHijo:


To start with, marrying outside your ethnic nation does not prove you are not a bigot.

Many bigots marry from other ethnic groups for various reasons.

Education and exposure changed what?

Biko, they should revert back to the old ways!

We are not doing ourselves or our societies any good by demonising same ethnic group unions. That should be the choice of preference. Inter ethnic marriages should be exceptions.

Most of the inter tribal marriages that take place are among commoners.

So there is very little to gain.

Only a fool would give his children to people he hates.
If I hate you, you can't marry my child.
The biggest test of openness is marriage.

On one hand, you claim that parents who don't give their children due to narrow individualised experiences are not necessarily bigots.
Experiences that have given them a bigoted mentality.

And then somehow you claim that parents that actually support inter ethnic marriage can be bigots.

Your reasoning is wack.

I would rather give the benefit of the doubt to the parents that walk the talk.

A parents that willingly gives his child to strangers is not a bigot.

A parent that does not support inter ethnic marriage due to individualised experience is a bigot with a capital B.

biacan:
I will when you pay my bride price

okay oo! i cannot even see what i am buying?

Denko2721987:
Awka ibom and Ibo marriages dont always end well most especially becos of the love lost between the older generation. There is this hidden hatred between them that I don't seem to understand.. The younger ones don't have issues but the bad blood from the old generation still lingers on, runs deeps and eventually sows discord among the younger generation..its shame anyways becos when the whites start been racists against us, its largely becos we do not also love ourselves.

You were making sense until you wrote the bolded, it shows you're a local person. Back to topic, I agree that Akwa Ibom and Igbo marriages don't work out most times but there are some exceptions. At 33 he should be able to know what he wants and handle whatever decision he makes. He's not mature for marriage

Aboks:
Still not mature @33

Iyammi

When it comes to wife, your parents are a hundreds times more matured than you think you are. With these creepy girls all around? They rock empty their lives and later disguise and catch one simp to pay for their warewordness. Don't even go there!

ChengHun:
I want to teach people how to create whiteboard animation
chat me up if interested
09031101256

Is this free?

mmars:
Your parents are tribalistic goats believe me

And they actually share a direct land border with a south east state.

You have to now wonder what is so special about akwa ibom girls or their men.

Is it beauty, wealth, education, intelligence or character?

gypsey:
okay oo! i cannot even see what i am buying?

Buy ke so you're one of those men who believes paying the bride price of a lady means you're buying her

Ginomel:


I'm really surprise ooo. Statistics shows that other tribes are really keen on marrying igbo ladies and even igbo guys.Because their girls are always ready to be in a marriage while their guys know how to take care of their wives.

That guy should convince the family to avoid missing the opportunity.

because of beauty I think

And to spite igbo dudes especially the bigots

solasoulmusic:
Funny enough tribe is the least of my worries when looking for love. Can you love ? or will we patch patch it through that's how.... you get someone who speaks your language and does a hell of some damage because after all una day speak the same language

The Divorcees will tell you its not by language its understanding and strength ....in times of need ....can you still stand for love when all is said and done.

Girls don't love

Stop deceiving these up coming guys

[b][/b]Marrying from your tribe has its own benefits. That does not mean that there are no negatives too. However, you really need to consider being happily married to the woman you love first.
Whichever one you want to settle on, first make real peace with your parents, know their reasons and know what best you have to do, then take your decision as a man ooo

RTSC:

And they actually share a direct land border with a south east state.

You have to now wonder what is so special about akwa ibom girls or their men.

Is it beauty, wealth, education, intelligence or character?

illiterate full that side always wanting to marry there fellow brothers and sisters as they call it

I support ur parents. Folks from the SE are... lemme just keep quiet.

Us yorubas are just chilling enjoying the ss and se disunity

RTSC:

Most of the inter tribal marriages that take place are among commoners.

So there is very little to gain.

Only a fool would give his children to people he hates.
If I hate you, you can't marry my child.
The biggest test of openness is marriage.

On one hand, you claim that parents who don't give their children due to narrow individualised experiences are not necessarily bigots.
Experiences that have given them a bigoted mentality.

And then somehow you claim that parents that actually support inter ethnic marriage can be bigots.

Your reasoning is wack.

I would rather give the benefit of the doubt to the parents that walk the talk.

A parents that willingly gives his child to strangers is not a bigot.

A parent that does not support inter ethnic marriage due to individualised experience is a bigot with a capital B.

When the so called Arab Sudanese were raped non Arab women. The primary purpose of their act was to "dilute" the other 'race'.

It is uninformed people that think ethnic mixtures is a form of being exposed. The worst bigots in human history always applied inter ethnic or inter religious reproduction as form of control and subjugation. The Korean/Chinese women who were taken for the imperial army of Japan were called 'Comfort women '.

Imperial Japan encouraged their army to father children with women they felt were culturally inferior to them. As long as people are being treated unjustly or consider others to be inferior, they have no business getting married to themselves.

The average Igbo is still a Biafran at heart, why marry your enemy when you have not healed from the trauma of the Nigera-Biafra war?
It is plain stupidity.

That parents are open or tolerate an inter ethnic marriage does not mean both or one party in the union does not have an ulterior motive.

Even poor people can have ulterior motives. Some people marry others to have access to certain places and positions.

Righteousness89:
Don't Argue with ur parents

Listen to what they have to say

Respectfully tell them your Reasons for deciding on her..

Be Ready to take full Responsibility for your decision

But before you get Married, Ensure you are Divinely led to your Spouse.. don't marry by mere sight! There is more to Marriage than mere sight..

Lastly and Most Important flee Fornication..

Wait until you are Married before you seek to Enter Jerusalem...

Marriage is Honorable with the bed undefiled

I Rest my Case

Best advices ever

biacan:
Buy ke so you're one of those men who believes paying the bride price of a lady means you're buying her

I gave an example, anyway, I am not looking for a wife.

Thiwalade:
... I'm always surprised at issues arising from tribal differences. Isn't it confounding that our parents will allow us marry "rich" people from another tribe but when it comes to the average person, all laws immediately come into foray. Tribe should be one of the least things to look out for in a spouse. Humans are the same, though our environment influences our morals, social life and character. In my humble opinion, the environment which is primarily the family one grew up in is a better precursor of an individual's values. A fellow tribesman/woman can be your downfall as well as your pillar of support. Evil knows no tribe, religious beliefs, family, country or whatever denomination you may be from. The earlier we start seeing people as individuals instead of tagging "yoruba person" "aboki" "omo igbo" to their heads, the better for our country.

In addition,

You only limit yourself if you let yourself be blinded by tribe even your own family can frame you up. A complete stranger can be the helper of your destiny. Many have lost valuable people due to nonsense tribal sentiments.

We are never born to hate on a particular tribe or people but it's often learnt from our parents or a general misconception arising from one person's experience of another from a tribe. Let's not allow a person's experience guide how we treat our fellow humans.

Be cautious, trust no one because evil knows no color or religion.

One bottle of Hennessey for you bro! Well said.

topedoski:
@ 33yrs ur parents still decide who u mingle with?
Well u still have 6 more years to be a fool forever

That's so brutal Madam.

Kai