be a man and make ur choice ur mum has lived her life.....but not advicing you to marry a girl from imo south-east.....not a good ideal bro.

Owutuotuo:


Your conclusions are obviously faulty.

First, there was no mention that he stays with his parents.
Second, he didn’t mention he asked any favors from his parent(s) that could warrant the treatment.
You cannot draw inferences in such assumptions.

@Op,
You need to be you want that girl, and take it up in prayers. Your happiness in God’s will is the crux of this matter. Be patient with your mom because you need her blessings. Insist on your desire with humility and trust God. Oh still have ample time to get it through. Don’t mind that you’re 33. Marry someone you know you can’t live without rather than one you can live with.

All the best.

Why not ask him how I got to know before you conclude that I'm wrong. Since you have no proof of contraries claim, then your facts about my comments is also mere speculation. He's tied to his parents. Ask him. Don't bother asking how I know

Marrying from same tribe is good because it saves from lot of language and cultural problems. However it does not guarantee you peace. What everyone looks for in marriage is a partner to grow old with in peace. If the love shared by you both is strong and you are both convinced to overcome all the differences that comes with inter-tribal marriage so go ahead.
Is she your friend.
Does the lady share in your dreams and aspirations?
Is she tribal biased?
Do you share same religious inclination?
Are you very cultural and traditionally inclined?

Times will come when language and cultural difference may come in but you will need wisdom to overcome. Note that both of you will need to shift grounds on some issues.
Most importantly pray over it for God's direction

Even if you feel you're grown and ready to do otherwise, from my first hand experience of such things especially from parents and mothers to be precise i advise you to convince your parents and till they agree do not go and marry someone they haven't endorsed. As an akwa ibomite you should know how things turn out sometimes when families are at loggerheads when it's marriage or burial.

OsuIgboIpob:

People like you are the reason why this country has remained like this.
Very myopic.

Kids

I wish people like you existed in a different universe.

bishop4life:
Forget about anyone saying you are immature blah blah blah.

Not everyone here knows what family is. many persons here are product of broken or battling families.

Leave that girl, bone that love.

Don't make yourself an outcast in your own family.

AFO abor ke item iki dorr ayin ukeh so nditor nnyin, anieh ibi dorr mmorh ?


Why you no Wan get sense... At your age?

lefulefu:
we cant marry from another tribe but we can marry a foreigner without question ..is that not funny .someone shares the same skin colour with u then u objecting cos of tribe but wen it comes to oyibo woman wey come from different country the same tribalistic parents will be the ones supporting the marriage

Whenever there is marital crises, marriages of people from same tribe or race who share similar values, belief, culture, tradition survive better than marriages between people from different tribe or race because conflict resolution is always a problem to come to terms due to the difference in culture, tradition, belief and values.


Another thing you need to pray for is long life, pray to live long to continue to stand in for your wife from another tribe or race cos if anything happens to you while young, then your wife from another tribe mostly or race will realize her mistake of marrying outside her tribe......yours can also be an exception though

Renida:



You're Akwa Ibom. Let me speak to you as an elder. Dismiss that love immediately and go do your mother's bidding. I won't state my reasons. You were told o

u don't meant it people like u still exist in this 21 century? What has tribe got to do with compatibility?

nyzeo:
I am 33 and I come from a state from the south south. I met a girl in Lagos 4 years ago who is from the south east and we have been very good friends ever since then.

I have developed very strong affection for her over time and we started dating. We really love each other now and we have have finalized plans to get married anytime between this year and early next year.

The issues now is that my parents are insisting I marry from my state, somebody who speaks the same language. It has caused me to have issues with my mother because she is the orchestra of all this tribal bigotry.

Please lala and house memeber make una advice me abeg. I have found someone who truly complements my life I really sincerely love this lady. Thanks

We akwaibom people are usually free minded about marrying outside our tribe. What's your mother's fear? Marriage is not about language o. My brother married Yoruba and they have a great marriage.

I will not stop telling this story of my friend whose mother rejected all the ladies from other tribes but wanted her son to marry their exact same tribe.

Now she cannot even visit the son freely because she and the wife from the same tribe cannot see eye to eye. Meanwhile, she feels more comfortable in her other son's house and that one married completely outside their region.

Don't allow your mum's bias be the basis for your decision abeg. It's not worth it.

at 33 if anyone can decide your life for you means you are not serious or a man!
i do what I like and won't even bother posting it online!

nyzeo:
I am 33 and I come from a state from the south south. I met a girl in Lagos 4 years ago who is from the south east and we have been very good friends ever since then.

I have developed very strong affection for her over time and we started dating. We really love each other now and we have have finalized plans to get married anytime between this year and early next year.

The issues now is that my parents are insisting I marry from my state, somebody who speaks the same language. It has caused me to have issues with my mother because she is the orchestra of all this tribal bigotry.

Please lala and house memeber make una advice me abeg. I have found someone who truly complements my life I really sincerely love this lady. Thanks

Neither your desire nor your mom's is important when it is marriage issue. If unwise, your decision could be a lifetime regret. The same as your mom's. And if either of you is right and you follow, it'd be a lifetime saving decision. However, in this situation, I would suggest you hear God out on the matter. Many people don't like to seek the will of God because they believe it might go contrary to their selfish desire and at the end, they'll be later regretting.

That you may have a point before for God later, I'd suggest you hear God out.

If you're willing, I could guide you through

Dude, you are old enough to decide who you want to spend the rest of your life with. You don't need your parents interference but you need their blessings.

You see, the challenge with most archaic people that refused to evolve in the society is this: they fail to realize that WE ARE ONE. It doesn't matter whether you are from the North, South, East or West. As long as you are a human being, you can marry whoever you want to regardless of his/her tribe and sometimes even religion.

Now check this out: If you decide to marry from your tribe, your parents will tell you not to marry from a particular village, for some sentimental reasons.
Okay, you decide to marry from your own village, they will ask you not to marry from a particular family for some nonsense reasons again.
You then luckily find a good family that is from your village and is your tribe to marry a lady from, they will still manipulate you into choosing one daughter over another, (if that family has more than a daughter).
It is possible that you would prefer the "least favourite" daughter over the "favorite" daughter, but 'cause your parents want you to marry the "favourite" daughter in that family, you will now have to give up the lady you're interested in for her sister.

You see, the issue with manipulations is this, if you don't stand your ground in Life and instead choose to please people 24/7, especially your parents...you are destined to be miserable.

Urchman200:
u don't meant it people like u still exist in this 21 century? What has tribe got to do with compatibility?

You won't understand

Take a look at Matthew 10: 35-36, learn to use your head in every situation you find yourself, because, on the day of judgment, you'll be the one to account for your decisions on earth," my parents told me to do so" won't be an acceptable excuse.

GreatResearcher1:
Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and mother for this is the first commandment with promise.

Lol

Urhobo, Isoko, and Itsekiri you maybe any of them.

humilitypays:
Whenever there is marital crises, marriages of people from same tribe or race who share similar values, belief, culture, tradition survive better than marriages between people from different tribe or race because conflict resolution is always a problem to come to terms due to the difference in culture, tradition, belief and values.


Another thing you need to pray for is long life, pray to live long to continue to stand in for your wife from another tribe or race cos if anything happens to you while young, then your wife from another tribe mostly or race will realize her mistake of marrying outside her tribe......yours can also be an exception though

not true..my uncle who got married to his wife of same tribe seperated from her over certain misunderstandings.couples of same tribe and same village also get divorced.anyway in terms of bigotry we nigerians we dont really hold our bigotry views to heart when money is involved .if this lady op is about to get married to was very wealthy i am sure the parents would have supported him irregardless of difference of tribe.same thing i have noticed with our religion :Da strong born again christian lady will never get married to an average or broke muslim guy citing difference in religion but when that muslim if from our wealthy family she will throw away her religious believes and marry the man .i think we kinder different from whites cos a bigoted white would hold true to his believes and even if a black athlete wants to marry his dauther he would still object to it the same way he would object if it was an average black dude.but with us we tend to throw away our believes or what we believe in when money is involved.let op tell the parents dat the girl is from a wealthy family..e go shock that they will do a complete U turn .

nyzeo:
You're Akwa Ibom. Let me speak to you as an elder. Dismiss that love immediately and go do your mother's bidding. I won't state my reasons. You were told o



Please I would like to hear from you.. Whts the advice.. You sound like you have somthing really interesting to say.. Am curious.. Please speak out..

I hope this does not have any tribal bigotry motive?, if no is the answer, I expect u to have a deep thought within yourself, no advise on public forum will make any difference, see if the reasons u love her based on the things u have seen about her is convincing enough to go into marriage with her,the advice u give yourself is the best ,no good advice concerning marriage can from this tribal oriented forum.most people here will speak out of hate for that tribe so nothing good is going to come out.

My dear, I know that feeling but trust me, don't marry without the buy-in and blessings of your parents. It's gonna be hell.

I wish I knew this when I was about getting married. My dad died many years ago and when I met my husband to be, an uncle tried to delay the process (by genuinely advising that I slow down), all in the name of making inquiries but I dismissed him claiming he wanted to come up with excuses that does not exist because his daughters were way older than me and still unmarried. Mind you, I had just met my husband about 2months and already fixing wedding). Remember the saying that what an adult sees seeing can never be seen by a child who climbs an iroko tree. Never saw he meant well. Long story short, hubby is not a bad person but existing in his family is hell.

You and your finacée have a duty to try and convince your parents, especially your mum on what you feel for each other. Your fiancée has a duty to learn to show her love to make her dismiss whatever stereotype she has. Let her understand that if she accepts your fiancée after this, she would never regret it and will laugh last.

But ensure you don't go ahead without their nod. Good luck.

gypsey:
kill your parents, problems solved.





Good luck!

You ehhh

lefulefu:
not true..my uncle who got married to his wife of same tribe seperated from her over certain misunderstandings.couples of same tribe and same village also get divorced.anyway in terms of bigotry we nigerians we dont really hold our bigotry views to heart when money is involved .if this lady op is about to get married to was very wealthy i am sure the parents would have supported him irregardless of difference of tribe.same thing i have noticed with our religion :Da strong born again christian lady will never get married to an average or broke muslim guy citing difference in religion but when that muslim if from our wealthy family she will throw away her religious believes and marry the man .i think we kinder different from whites cos a bigoted white would hold true to his believes and even if a black athlete wants to marry his dauther he would still object to it the same way he would object if it was an average black dude.but with us we tend to throw away our believes or what we believe in when money is involved.let op tell the parents dat the girl is from a wealthy family..e go shock that they will do a complete U turn .

In every rule in life, there is always an exception, and because of the few exceptions does not make the rule to be false.


Coronavirus is deadly, but so many people are surviving it, that still does not mean coronavirus does not kill or its not real

Have you asked her bride price yet? Mek una no chew something why u no fit finish

Renida:



You won't understand

u can educate me because I am from the east ,and have fallen in love with a rivers person, so let me know how marring my own tribe will be better than the person I feel we are more compatible?

my mom used to be like that too until I cautioned her in regards. Dad doesn't even care, if you like marry Hausa Muslim he doesn't give a fúck


until my mom see many yorubas lady that couldn't stay by when I needed love most that she understand is not about tribe.


my fiance is from Abia, i met her 2010 and since that time we started as friend, she had been my rare human. I would have regret my life if I had listen to my mom then


abeg my people no be all this our parents advise we suppose to dey listen to, my academic prowess today wouldn't have been possible if I had listened to my Dad's advice

Marry from your tribe.
Let everybody marry from their tribe instead of anywhere belle face.

Funny, you came online to request advice.
Let me advice you as another elder. Marry based on your heart. Parents are elfish when they command their children not to marry form a particular tribe or marry a particular person. They are most of the time wrong. Let me tell you a story.
A man dated a few ladies before settling down for his wife. She was his first girlfriend though and the least educated of them. Because she is from home his family insisted he should marry her thus not giving him consideration at all. He wasn't comfortable on the day of the weeding and in the evening after the wedding called his younger ones an informed them that they should marry whoever they love and not listen to the parents. Though he is still married tot he lade he knew there are better options.
The issues now is that the parents that insisted he should marry form home are the main enemies of the family. Why? because they wanted ot manipulate the family through the wife and wife didn't cooperate with them. The wife wanted her independence and hat of th family.
You see how selfish parents can be. All his younger ones didn't marry form home following his advice!

But pray to God, your maker. You need that with [b]advice[/b] and not a command from your parents.

Good luck

AmuDimpka:



No go use because of Toto disobey your parents....are girls in your tribe finished.... Why una dey craze for Igbo girls seff

e pain am

SLAP44:
The OP is a small, immature child of 33 years

33yrs na grandpa in the North

biacan:
You ehhh

Ofcourse, if his parents are in his way of getting married and he if he is so desparate not to listen to his parents, he should kill his parents.

emmy512:
Even if you feel you're grown and ready to do otherwise, from my first hand experience of such things especially from parents and mothers to be precise i advise you to convince your parents and till they agree do not go and marry someone they haven't endorsed. As an akwa ibomite you should know how things turn out sometimes when families are at loggerheads when it's marriage or burial.

u make more sense