| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by Abagworo(m): 10:48pm On May 11, 2020 |
MizJaY:
I'm the quiet type so I have never opened mouth to insult my husband during any misunderstanding. Just arguments and my voice may go up a bit trying to explain or clear myself but he will start saying im raising my voice and talking back at him and start saying all sorts of things.
You should have left long ago. Are you close to your brother? He can help you talk to your husband or keave the uninteresting marriage |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by Emmaiwrite: 10:48pm On May 11, 2020 |
Good. You can contact me via whatsapp too for an app that pays you little something on zero 81 sixty 72 41 eighty 2. |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by Op80: 10:48pm On May 11, 2020 |
My sisteris in the same problem in her marriage just like you. I earn little but I share with my sister who is made to be a house wife even as a graduate. This man doesn't know whether my sister wears cloth neither does the children. I give my sister my little earning because I can't stand my sister suffering when I am alive. Sometime s, he doesn't give them money for food, I have to fend for them. I am tired of the whole situation. I am a single lady but what I see these days makes it difficult to yearn for marriage |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by Nobody: 10:49pm On May 11, 2020 |
As a man, I don’t have much to say on this topic other than to kill him if he ever lays hands on you again. Kill him in self defense. |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by imam07: 10:49pm On May 11, 2020 |
MizJaY:
Sorry for the long message but this lockdown period might favour reading long msgs.
I'm the quiet type so I have never opened mouth to insult my husband during any misunderstanding. Just arguments and my voice may go up a bit trying to explain or clear myself but he will start saying im raising my voice and talking back at him and start saying all sorts of things.
Honestly sometimes I wished I could unleash the anger deep down and screammm but I always have self control. If u sit with him, he will give u a million reasons why I'm not a good wife and if u don't know me well, u will fall for it because he tells it so well. I will not say everything he says is false, but 80% is. Only those that really know me, will know he is d one that has problem. He's too difficult at times.
In an office, there's usually that one person that quarrels with everyone am I right? But I end up being d only person that dat person doesn't quarrel with cos I try as much as possible to avoid quarrels that's just d kind of person I am. Calm and quiet.
When I met my husband NYSC days, he was very close to God, organizing programs in church and handling them. That was the main reason I got close to him cos I wasnt so spiritual and needed someone to help me grow spiritually through life. He told me he was called to be a pastor and that excited me but I'm not seeing that now lol. He's spiritual life is almost zero. And back then, he had nothing, we would spend all my money even to reach his sick mother in the village I would buy all the foodstuff to send to her.
The way he talked he sounded promising that things will get better with him, but today, I still suffer, I have no savings, all my salary is on the house. He works too and earns but he's salary covers rent and the children's school fees finished. I do the rest but he doesn't appreciate the fact that I sacrifice everything I earn to feeding the house. We are family of 6. Everything provision, food, children school snack, fuel for car and gen, gas filing etc etc it's me. And that's how my whole salary will just go fiam.
if I ws getting a little appreciation I for no mind but rather I get insults o. It's my fault that
Money is finished, it's my fault that we have no savings, I don't know how to manage money, I'm hoarding my money etc etc those are d words that come out of his mouth o.
I used to be a beautiful woman but no more, I wear one shoe everyday to work, can't buy myself clothes shoes nothing I had to cut my hair to relieve myself from hair money lol. I'm stressed out thinking of where money will come for feeding when my salary gets finished before month end at times I have to beg my sister or my dad a pensioner or hussle one way or d other. I now developed high bp and today I'm living with hypertension taking drugs everyday. It was my parents that gave my husband d job he's doing today. He is not in talking terms with he's dad n siblings. Before he's mother died, things were not too good between them. My husband likes to always form man of d house and want me to apologise whenever there's a misunderstanding saying that I am d one wrong, I'm always wondering how am always the one wrong and he's not � every time.
Sometimes self I don't know what I did that mks him angry he will just start carrying face. Today makes it a week we are not talking cos he has been carrying face since 7days now, and went to post something on wassap yesterday that a woman that cannot apologise to her husband cannot stay in marriage.
My brothers and sisters if I know of anything I did that I have to apologise for yet I refused to apologise that is making him carry face, may God strike me. If u know I did anything wrong why not come to me and tell me u don't like what I did and tell me what i did rather than carry face up n down. He always does that. At times I do ask him and as usual am always d one at fault. Maybe it's cos I'm a quiet person he's taking me for mumu.
The national anthem now is that because he does not have money that's why I don't respect him the way I'm supposed to. I'm always careful with my word when gisting with him cos make I make mistake say Donald duke is d current governor of rivers state haaa problem don enter and it may spoil d sweet gisting we were having. He go almost insult me and become uninterested in gisting with me again cos i don talk mumu talk.
So how can I handle such man cos if no be say I be quiet person, I for don receive serious beating black and blue from this man cos he has done it earlier on in our marriage not serious beating sha but I had some bruises. If not that my parents are still alive and warned him. Tho he still attempts once in a blue moon I go jus arrange myself. But I'm kind of tired. I have no money cos trust me, if I had, Maybe i for don dey plan my move sef I no dey enjoy marriage life at all Truly from your story,I can see I have ego. By telling us here you are the spending on him when he has nothing. I don't even bother to finish reading your story since I got to that spot u mentioned your husband had nothing. My conclusion is go and change your ways because a man will never accept u are right. |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by Beatswim: 10:49pm On May 11, 2020 |
Ishilove:
Your husband sounds like my ex. If not that he is married to you, I would have sworn that he is the same person. Nasty creature.
I dealt with the situation by simply exing him, but your case is not so simple. My advice will be to endure until you can endure no more. When you get pushed to the wall, you will fight back. The outcome of that fight is what I don't know. thank God that man is now your ex.. What a lucky man 1 Like |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by fapcrook(m): 10:49pm On May 11, 2020 |
Honestly i didn't read it, too long |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by Nobody: 10:50pm On May 11, 2020 |
[quote author=echibuogwu post=89447449] Clearly the problem here is money, no doubt you are trying really hard but he’s also trying...he’s also spending all his salary on family and not on stupid stuff... and he also gave the same personal problem as u, he wants a good savings too, he wants to dress nice and look handsome, he also wants to buy you gifts and take u out on dates, he’s frustrated he can’t do all that and not happy you are carrying the home... and 6 children is a lot, try family planning but pray for ur husband, God will provide more money[/quote ] i love this man, sometimes we have to see through another's view. |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by willieekesydney(m): 10:50pm On May 11, 2020 |
This is your own version, but before saying anything it would have been nice to hear from your husband but we can't. If all you say is true, a man without money, or when things ain't working fine for him, makes him act funny at times, you have to look for the right time (probably when he is in a good mood) try talking to him, you might one to admit that it's your fault, then ask him how can you make it right |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by gbagyiza: 10:51pm On May 11, 2020 |
MizJaY:
Sorry for the long message but this lockdown period might favour reading long msgs.
I'm the quiet type so I have never opened mouth to insult my husband during any misunderstanding. Just arguments and my voice may go up a bit trying to explain or clear myself but he will start saying im raising my voice and talking back at him and start saying all sorts of things.
Honestly sometimes I wished I could unleash the anger deep down and screammm but I always have self control. If u sit with him, he will give u a million reasons why I'm not a good wife and if u don't know me well, u will fall for it because he tells it so well. I will not say everything he says is false, but 80% is. Only those that really know me, will know he is d one that has problem. He's too difficult at times.
In an office, there's usually that one person that quarrels with everyone am I right? But I end up being d only person that dat person doesn't quarrel with cos I try as much as possible to avoid quarrels that's just d kind of person I am. Calm and quiet.
When I met my husband NYSC days, he was very close to God, organizing programs in church and handling them. That was the main reason I got close to him cos I wasnt so spiritual and needed someone to help me grow spiritually through life. He told me he was called to be a pastor and that excited me but I'm not seeing that now lol. He's spiritual life is almost zero. And back then, he had nothing, we would spend all my money even to reach his sick mother in the village I would buy all the foodstuff to send to her.
The way he talked he sounded promising that things will get better with him, but today, I still suffer, I have no savings, all my salary is on the house. He works too and earns but he's salary covers rent and the children's school fees finished. I do the rest but he doesn't appreciate the fact that I sacrifice everything I earn to feeding the house. We are family of 6. Everything provision, food, children school snack, fuel for car and gen, gas filing etc etc it's me. And that's how my whole salary will just go fiam.
if I ws getting a little appreciation I for no mind but rather I get insults o. It's my fault that
Money is finished, it's my fault that we have no savings, I don't know how to manage money, I'm hoarding my money etc etc those are d words that come out of his mouth o.
I used to be a beautiful woman but no more, I wear one shoe everyday to work, can't buy myself clothes shoes nothing I had to cut my hair to relieve myself from hair money lol. I'm stressed out thinking of where money will come for feeding when my salary gets finished before month end at times I have to beg my sister or my dad a pensioner or hussle one way or d other. I now developed high bp and today I'm living with hypertension taking drugs everyday. It was my parents that gave my husband d job he's doing today. He is not in talking terms with he's dad n siblings. Before he's mother died, things were not too good between them. My husband likes to always form man of d house and want me to apologise whenever there's a misunderstanding saying that I am d one wrong, I'm always wondering how am always the one wrong and he's not � every time.
Sometimes self I don't know what I did that mks him angry he will just start carrying face. Today makes it a week we are not talking cos he has been carrying face since 7days now, and went to post something on wassap yesterday that a woman that cannot apologise to her husband cannot stay in marriage.
My brothers and sisters if I know of anything I did that I have to apologise for yet I refused to apologise that is making him carry face, may God strike me. If u know I did anything wrong why not come to me and tell me u don't like what I did and tell me what i did rather than carry face up n down. He always does that. At times I do ask him and as usual am always d one at fault. Maybe it's cos I'm a quiet person he's taking me for mumu.
The national anthem now is that because he does not have money that's why I don't respect him the way I'm supposed to. I'm always careful with my word when gisting with him cos make I make mistake say Donald duke is d current governor of rivers state haaa problem don enter and it may spoil d sweet gisting we were having. He go almost insult me and become uninterested in gisting with me again cos i don talk mumu talk.
So how can I handle such man cos if no be say I be quiet person, I for don receive serious beating black and blue from this man cos he has done it earlier on in our marriage not serious beating sha but I had some bruises. If not that my parents are still alive and warned him. Tho he still attempts once in a blue moon I go jus arrange myself. But I'm kind of tired. I have no money cos trust me, if I had, Maybe i for don dey plan my move if I no dey enjoy marriage life at all Please if you know u can't cope with marriage don't go into it because marriage is not a child play. Madam finds a way to make your marriage work because marriage is full of challenges. If you hear another person own, you go say your own is even better. Don't deceive yourself, most of this people you r seeking advice from, may not even help u reason is that what works for Mr A may not work for Mr B because you have different husbands with different brain n understanding, so I advice that you calm down n take things easy, study your husband well n come out with a good strategy to solve your family problem, that's the reason God gave your brain. |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by NobleSeed(m): 10:51pm On May 11, 2020 |
Is there no other way round out of this hurdle other than fabricating lies just in bid of having backup plan or what ever? So you what her to lie,that her salary has been reduced bla bla .have you considered if paraventure her salary got reduced,did you think she can contribute any quota again to the family? veave:
Hian.
Wetin I go talk go pain you o. But na the truth I go tell you. Madam, right now I can't tell you to start with 50% so I will say 20%.
Thank God there is covid and I pray your job doesn't get affected. As soon as you resume, the second day you get to work tell him there has been a 40% reduction from your salary due to low inflow of cash. You need to save at least 20% of your salary. This money no Matter if the roof is falling down you're not to touch it. Na your back up money be that. The other 20% is for your upkeep. You and your kids should survive on the remaining 50% because you'd definitely pay tithe. It's because he knows you always have a back up plan that is why he is relaxed and allowing you foot all the bills.
No this kain thing make me say I no go marry "brother" when I dey small. Most of them are lazy and are dreamers. They expect manner to fall from heaven after their praying and fasting forgetting Paul had a handiwork that sustained him all through his life hence he didn't have to beg and depend on anyone. I no dey like this kind jist. He's not even appreciative of his supportive wife. I know women who use all their money to buy shoes, clothes and the latest asoebi, their husbands dare not say pim because they'd even take his own and join. |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by alasan007(m): 10:51pm On May 11, 2020 |
My dear sister sorry to burst your bubbles but I must say it as it is because I was once there your husband doesn’t truly love you he’s just trying to love you by weighing your good side to your flaws but marriage doesn’t work like that you don’t need to compare in marriage I guess he just married you cos you r the quite type n he sees he can manage and control you but once in a while he’s figured out he’s not truly into you hence his sudden mood swing all you need to do is to try to win is heart back n pray for the best I don’t know how to achieve that he’s your husband figured it out I just wish he had the balls to end the relationship before it gotten to marriage and having kids well you’ll have t endure it till the rest of your life but mind you wen he gets a better job he’s definitely going to have another wife sorry if I’m being too honest 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by wisdomkid: 10:51pm On May 11, 2020 |
Nwodosis:
It is obvious you are not the talking type but the writing type, we have read your version, how do we get your husband's version? There is no smoke without fire! Hope every problem you encounter, there will be no solution till the other's person version is read and understood. Don't get angry, there is no smoke without fire. 1 Like |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by messenger4891: 10:51pm On May 11, 2020 |
MizJaY:
Sorry for the long message but this lockdown period might favour reading long msgs.
I'm the quiet type so I have never opened mouth to insult my husband during any misunderstanding. Just arguments and my voice may go up a bit trying to explain or clear myself but he will start saying im raising my voice and talking back at him and start saying all sorts of things.
Honestly sometimes I wished I could unleash the anger deep down and screammm but I always have self control. If u sit with him, he will give u a million reasons why I'm not a good wife and if u don't know me well, u will fall for it because he tells it so well. I will not say everything he says is false, but 80% is. Only those that really know me, will know he is d one that has problem. He's too difficult at times.
In an office, there's usually that one person that quarrels with everyone am I right? But I end up being d only person that dat person doesn't quarrel with cos I try as much as possible to avoid quarrels that's just d kind of person I am. Calm and quiet.
When I met my husband NYSC days, he was very close to God, organizing programs in church and handling them. That was the main reason I got close to him cos I wasnt so spiritual and needed someone to help me grow spiritually through life. He told me he was called to be a pastor and that excited me but I'm not seeing that now lol. He's spiritual life is almost zero. And back then, he had nothing, we would spend all my money even to reach his sick mother in the village I would buy all the foodstuff to send to her.
The way he talked he sounded promising that things will get better with him, but today, I still suffer, I have no savings, all my salary is on the house. He works too and earns but he's salary covers rent and the children's school fees finished. I do the rest but he doesn't appreciate the fact that I sacrifice everything I earn to feeding the house. We are family of 6. Everything provision, food, children school snack, fuel for car and gen, gas filing etc etc it's me. And that's how my whole salary will just go fiam.
if I ws getting a little appreciation I for no mind but rather I get insults o. It's my fault that
Money is finished, it's my fault that we have no savings, I don't know how to manage money, I'm hoarding my money etc etc those are d words that come out of his mouth o.
I used to be a beautiful woman but no more, I wear one shoe everyday to work, can't buy myself clothes shoes nothing I had to cut my hair to relieve myself from hair money lol. I'm stressed out thinking of where money will come for feeding when my salary gets finished before month end at times I have to beg my sister or my dad a pensioner or hussle one way or d other. I now developed high bp and today I'm living with hypertension taking drugs everyday. It was my parents that gave my husband d job he's doing today. He is not in talking terms with he's dad n siblings. Before he's mother died, things were not too good between them. My husband likes to always form man of d house and want me to apologise whenever there's a misunderstanding saying that I am d one wrong, I'm always wondering how am always the one wrong and he's not � every time.
Sometimes self I don't know what I did that mks him angry he will just start carrying face. Today makes it a week we are not talking cos he has been carrying face since 7days now, and went to post something on wassap yesterday that a woman that cannot apologise to her husband cannot stay in marriage.
My brothers and sisters if I know of anything I did that I have to apologise for yet I refused to apologise that is making him carry face, may God strike me. If u know I did anything wrong why not come to me and tell me u don't like what I did and tell me what i did rather than carry face up n down. He always does that. At times I do ask him and as usual am always d one at fault. Maybe it's cos I'm a quiet person he's taking me for mumu.
The national anthem now is that because he does not have money that's why I don't respect him the way I'm supposed to. I'm always careful with my word when gisting with him cos make I make mistake say Donald duke is d current governor of rivers state haaa problem don enter and it may spoil d sweet gisting we were having. He go almost insult me and become uninterested in gisting with me again cos i don talk mumu talk.
So how can I handle such man cos if no be say I be quiet person, I for don receive serious beating black and blue from this man cos he has done it earlier on in our marriage not serious beating sha but I had some bruises. If not that my parents are still alive and warned him. Tho he still attempts once in a blue moon I go jus arrange myself. But I'm kind of tired. I have no money cos trust me, if I had, Maybe i for don dey plan my move sef I no dey enjoy marriage life at all i just went through a topic you created in Nov 22 2018 asking doctor for help about been hypertensive after CS........... Now how are you sure that those CS and other health comlications are not really what up sets him .....making you undesirable to him or the CS drained him.....blc an average income earner may not fancy things that will deep his pocket.....just thinking aloud......i pray you find peace of mind you seek for. 2 Likes |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by hazydon(m): 10:52pm On May 11, 2020 |
stagger:
These are the kinds of things that young unmarried men need to be listening to. Not watching Premiership all day long and listening to songs that only talk about how to hammer. Honestly. I strongly believe that as a man, if you make mistakes in the area of finance and marriage, you will die before your time. It's quite unfortunate that our youth don't develop themselves in these areas before marriage. Spirikoko without knowledge won't help anyone. The antidote to fear and problems is knowledge. 2 Likes |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by joek(m): 10:52pm On May 11, 2020 |
I hope covid19 has not put unnecessary pressure on your man. Me as a man, I am frustrated now because salary of April wasn't paid to me and I have 3kids. If truly you are hypertensive, please I beg you in the name of God, apologise to him so that you can get your sanity back. You need a peaceful mind and heart to avoid stories that touch. You need to be alive to take care of your children. I pray that God touches him and changes him for the better. Cheers. |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by angelfallz(m): 10:52pm On May 11, 2020 |
akinade28:
Stories like this makes the issue of marriage very scary for people like me Lol, You're a Yoruba lady right? |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by Beatswim: 10:53pm On May 11, 2020 |
infogenius:
op
I won't say you lie because I know a woman I met online too that is going through a similar issue that we are working on but
definitely not you.
Kindly apologize to him, living with your husband and not talking for 7 days is harsh.
Do it because you are displaying wisdom and that you are a weakling.
Your home has to be a peaceful haven.hmmm.. Wise words
I don't care what your home is going through as long s you earn you must have savings.
Save 10% of your earnings. This can be used to start a business in future or even as a bailout
one day. Save money.
Buy yourself little things you need like shoes and the likes. How can you be working and struggle to get little things?
It's not convenient but squeeze through. For this another 10%. Pay your tithe if you are a tither and the remaining
70% you can put into your family.
Many women like you these till they go to their graves, their men put them under pressure because they have made themselves available.
This is not bad but should not be a norm.
As much as possible, be yourself show him you are still the woman he married and of course avoid unnecessary arguments with him.
Your silence will not make you stupid or a weakling. It demonstrates maturity.
I can go on and on, but immediately go to him and tell him sorry.
|
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by Ken4agent(m): 10:53pm On May 11, 2020 |
U sef stop to dey talk mumu talk  men no dey like mumu talk But seriously, all I will say is no perfect man or woman. The psychological challenge, enviromental challenge and economic challenge the society put to couples kind of effect out behaviour. We just try to find a way around these challenges using what psychologist call " ego defence mechanism" and the effect of these ego defence mechanism reflect in the covert behaviour of our spouse. Remember, the social scientist always say that in every relationship( whether spiritual, love or political) every party in the relationship at all time weights what he or she stand to gain. If one party perceive he or she is gaining less, then there will be conflict. But if both party gain equally, then there will be a robots relationship. But because of human conflicting aspirations, it never possible for both party in a relationship to gain equally. Meaning, conflict is part of a relationship. So best way to press down yur displesure of gaining less in the relationship is by dialogue and never violent. Dialogue still remain the most potent conflict resolution method. Continousely dialogue with your spouse at bed time. If this doesn't work, consult a marriage chancellor asap My 50cent |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by betexplorer901: 10:54pm On May 11, 2020 |
SIR0:
In a family of 6, hubby & wife are included. A nuclear family,,,, simply put.
No offence pardon me,like i said the text was long.Ok,she should carry her cross.she should take it easy and fast and pray for God intervention |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by Homiesjinxbank: 10:54pm On May 11, 2020 |
My sister why don't you cover the house rent and school fees, and Let your man cover feeding expenses? since you're working and earning something
[quote author=MizJaY post=89104742]Sorry for the long message but this lockdown period might favour reading long msgs.
The way he talked he sounded promising that things will get better with him, but today, I still suffer, I have no savings, all my salary is on the house. He works too and earns but he's salary covers rent and the children's school fees finished. |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by deebrain(m): 10:54pm On May 11, 2020 |
otipoju:
You never jam mad person.
Where saying I'm sorry is regarded as weakness and will only invite worse behavior. Mister. I stated what works for me and have been for decades now. And you will only "jam a mad person" when you did not do your home work before entering into marriage with the said mad person. |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by jaxxy(m): 10:55pm On May 11, 2020 |
MizJaY:
Sorry for the long message but this lockdown period might favour reading long msgs.
I'm the quiet type so I have never opened mouth to insult my husband during any misunderstanding. Just arguments and my voice may go up a bit trying to explain or clear myself but he will start saying im raising my voice and talking back at him and start saying all sorts of things.
Honestly sometimes I wished I could unleash the anger deep down and screammm but I always have self control. If u sit with him, he will give u a million reasons why I'm not a good wife and if u don't know me well, u will fall for it because he tells it so well. I will not say everything he says is false, but 80% is. Only those that really know me, will know he is d one that has problem. He's too difficult at times.
In an office, there's usually that one person that quarrels with everyone am I right? But I end up being d only person that dat person doesn't quarrel with cos I try as much as possible to avoid quarrels that's just d kind of person I am. Calm and quiet.
When I met my husband NYSC days, he was very close to God, organizing programs in church and handling them. That was the main reason I got close to him cos I wasnt so spiritual and needed someone to help me grow spiritually through life. He told me he was called to be a pastor and that excited me but I'm not seeing that now lol. He's spiritual life is almost zero. And back then, he had nothing, we would spend all my money even to reach his sick mother in the village I would buy all the foodstuff to send to her.
The way he talked he sounded promising that things will get better with him, but today, I still suffer, I have no savings, all my salary is on the house. He works too and earns but he's salary covers rent and the children's school fees finished. I do the rest but he doesn't appreciate the fact that I sacrifice everything I earn to feeding the house. We are family of 6. Everything provision, food, children school snack, fuel for car and gen, gas filing etc etc it's me. And that's how my whole salary will just go fiam.
if I ws getting a little appreciation I for no mind but rather I get insults o. It's my fault that
Money is finished, it's my fault that we have no savings, I don't know how to manage money, I'm hoarding my money etc etc those are d words that come out of his mouth o.
I used to be a beautiful woman but no more, I wear one shoe everyday to work, can't buy myself clothes shoes nothing I had to cut my hair to relieve myself from hair money lol. I'm stressed out thinking of where money will come for feeding when my salary gets finished before month end at times I have to beg my sister or my dad a pensioner or hussle one way or d other. I now developed high bp and today I'm living with hypertension taking drugs everyday. It was my parents that gave my husband d job he's doing today. He is not in talking terms with he's dad n siblings. Before he's mother died, things were not too good between them. My husband likes to always form man of d house and want me to apologise whenever there's a misunderstanding saying that I am d one wrong, I'm always wondering how am always the one wrong and he's not � every time.
Sometimes self I don't know what I did that mks him angry he will just start carrying face. Today makes it a week we are not talking cos he has been carrying face since 7days now, and went to post something on wassap yesterday that a woman that cannot apologise to her husband cannot stay in marriage.
My brothers and sisters if I know of anything I did that I have to apologise for yet I refused to apologise that is making him carry face, may God strike me. If u know I did anything wrong why not come to me and tell me u don't like what I did and tell me what i did rather than carry face up n down. He always does that. At times I do ask him and as usual am always d one at fault. Maybe it's cos I'm a quiet person he's taking me for mumu.
The national anthem now is that because he does not have money that's why I don't respect him the way I'm supposed to. I'm always careful with my word when gisting with him cos make I make mistake say Donald duke is d current governor of rivers state haaa problem don enter and it may spoil d sweet gisting we were having. He go almost insult me and become uninterested in gisting with me again cos i don talk mumu talk.
So how can I handle such man cos if no be say I be quiet person, I for don receive serious beating black and blue from this man cos he has done it earlier on in our marriage not serious beating sha but I had some bruises. If not that my parents are still alive and warned him. Tho he still attempts once in a blue moon I go jus arrange myself. But I'm kind of tired. I have no money cos trust me, if I had, Maybe i for don dey plan my move sef I no dey enjoy marriage life at all U married a man with no vision and if u thought he had any b4, he has definitely lost it, he’s not even behaving like a Christian talkless of a would be pastor. But hey it’s not 2day we see such Christian men misbehaving and even backing up their misbehavior with scriptures or misogynistic attitude. I’m sorry to say I don’t know what u can do, 2 must agree 2 walk 2geda and 2 to tango. Ur husband is also not emotionally mature and economically sound cos u can’t run a home the way u are currently doing it and last long. He won’t listen to u and both of u can’t agree and come up with a working solution to ur financial issues. Is a lockjam and it’s tiring to be honest. I will walkout cos I hate bullshit bt u can try praying for him and seeking counseling together. These are where churches can be useful to their members Bt that’s hardly any he case unless Ure a big donor or sponsors. Quite sad. |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by mkoabiola: 10:56pm On May 11, 2020 |
All i know is that
There are 2 sides of a story.
Her side
His side.
However, they were not friends bf marriage.
*but make una no de scare we d single na ..haba!!! |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by Sheuns(m): 10:56pm On May 11, 2020 |
[quote author=MizJaY post=89104742]Sorry for the long message but this lockdown period might favour reading long msgs.. He's too difficult at times.
You can try this money management technique. I read it in a book and it should work for you.
Divide ur salary into 3, the first part (70%) should cover for all your expenses. (20%) the second part should be for debt (if you’re indebted) if not you can decide to keep that somewhere. The third part (10%) should be saved for the purpose of investment later in the future. This 10% you should by all means not touch. You can keep saving it for as long as you feel you can start an investment/business. And ensure you carry out a proper research and have adequate knowledge on the investment you may want to go into.
Note: The division can be flexible, you may choose to adjust the percentages to how it suits you. But the 10% part must not go lower than 10%. The 20% may go for emergency if you do not have debts to pay. You can try this technique and see if it’ll work out for you. |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by Damcolly08(m): 10:57pm On May 11, 2020 |
Las Las... Marriage is fvcking overated!! |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by Rexology: 10:57pm On May 11, 2020 |
MizJaY:
Sorry for the long message but this lockdown period might favour reading long msgs.
I'm the quiet type so I have never opened mouth to insult my husband during any misunderstanding. Just arguments and my voice may go up a bit trying to explain or clear myself but he will start saying im raising my voice and talking back at him and start saying all sorts of things.
Honestly sometimes I wished I could unleash the anger deep down and screammm but I always have self control. If u sit with him, he will give u a million reasons why I'm not a good wife and if u don't know me well, u will fall for it because he tells it so well. I will not say everything he says is false, but 80% is. Only those that really know me, will know he is d one that has problem. He's too difficult at times.
In an office, there's usually that one person that quarrels with everyone am I right? But I end up being d only person that dat person doesn't quarrel with cos I try as much as possible to avoid quarrels that's just d kind of person I am. Calm and quiet.
When I met my husband NYSC days, he was very close to God, organizing programs in church and handling them. That was the main reason I got close to him cos I wasnt so spiritual and needed someone to help me grow spiritually through life. He told me he was called to be a pastor and that excited me but I'm not seeing that now lol. He's spiritual life is almost zero. And back then, he had nothing, we would spend all my money even to reach his sick mother in the village I would buy all the foodstuff to send to her.
The way he talked he sounded promising that things will get better with him, but today, I still suffer, I have no savings, all my salary is on the house. He works too and earns but he's salary covers rent and the children's school fees finished. I do the rest but he doesn't appreciate the fact that [b]I sacrifice everything [/b]I earn to feeding the house. We are family of 6. Everything provision, food, children school snack, fuel for car and gen, gas filing etc etc it's me. And that's how my whole salary will just go fiam.
if I ws getting a little appreciation I for no mind but rather I get insults o. It's my fault that
Money is finished, it's my fault that we have no savings, I don't know how to manage money, I'm hoarding my money etc etc those are d words that come out of his mouth o.
I used to be a beautiful woman but no more, I wear one shoe everyday to work, can't buy myself clothes shoes nothing I had to cut my hair to relieve myself from hair money lol. I'm stressed out thinking of where money will come for feeding when my salary gets finished before month end at times I have to beg my sister or my dad a pensioner or hussle one way or d other. I now developed high bp and today I'm living with hypertension taking drugs everyday. It was my parents that gave my husband d job he's doing today. He is not in talking terms with he's dad n siblings. Before he's mother died, things were not too good between them. My husband likes to always form man of d house and want me to apologise whenever there's a misunderstanding saying that I am d one wrong, I'm always wondering how am always the one wrong and he's not � every time.
Sometimes self I don't know what I did that mks him angry he will just start carrying face. Today makes it a week we are not talking cos he has been carrying face since 7days now, and went to post something on wassap yesterday that a woman that cannot apologise to her husband cannot stay in marriage.
My brothers and sisters if I know of anything I did that I have to apologise for yet I refused to apologise that is making him carry face, may God strike me. If u know I did anything wrong why not come to me and tell me u don't like what I did and tell me what i did rather than carry face up n down. He always does that. At times I do ask him and as usual am always d one at fault. Maybe it's cos I'm a quiet person he's taking me for mumu.
The national anthem now is that because he does not have money that's why I don't respect him the way I'm supposed to. I'm always careful with my word when gisting with him cos make I make mistake say Donald duke is d current governor of rivers state haaa problem don enter and it may spoil d sweet gisting we were having. He go almost insult me and become uninterested in gisting with me again cos i don talk mumu talk.
So how can I handle such man cos if no be say I be quiet person, I for don receive serious beating black and blue from this man cos he has done it earlier on in our marriage not serious beating sha but I had some bruises. If not that my parents are still alive and warned him. Tho he still attempts once in a blue moon I go jus arrange myself. But I'm kind of tired. I have no money cos trust me, if I had, Maybe i for don dey plan my move sef I no dey enjoy marriage life at all Women don't miss the bolded lines, men take note. |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by uvie66: 10:58pm On May 11, 2020 |
MizJaY:
Sorry for the long message but this lockdown period might favour reading long msgs.
I'm the quiet type so I have never opened mouth to insult my husband during any misunderstanding. Just arguments and my voice may go up a bit trying to explain or clear myself but he will start saying im raising my voice and talking back at him and start saying all sorts of things.
Honestly sometimes I wished I could unleash the anger deep down and screammm but I always have self control. If u sit with him, he will give u a million reasons why I'm not a good wife and if u don't know me well, u will fall for it because he tells it so well. I will not say everything he says is false, but 80% is. Only those that really know me, will know he is d one that has problem. He's too difficult at times.
In an office, there's usually that one person that quarrels with everyone am I right? But I end up being d only person that dat person doesn't quarrel with cos I try as much as possible to avoid quarrels that's just d kind of person I am. Calm and quiet.
When I met my husband NYSC days, he was very close to God, organizing programs in church and handling them. That was the main reason I got close to him cos I wasnt so spiritual and needed someone to help me grow spiritually through life. He told me he was called to be a pastor and that excited me but I'm not seeing that now lol. He's spiritual life is almost zero. And back then, he had nothing, we would spend all my money even to reach his sick mother in the village I would buy all the foodstuff to send to her.
The way he talked he sounded promising that things will get better with him, but today, I still suffer, I have no savings, all my salary is on the house. He works too and earns but he's salary covers rent and the children's school fees finished. I do the rest but he doesn't appreciate the fact that I sacrifice everything I earn to feeding the house. We are family of 6. Everything provision, food, children school snack, fuel for car and gen, gas filing etc etc it's me. And that's how my whole salary will just go fiam.
if I ws getting a little appreciation I for no mind but rather I get insults o. It's my fault that
Money is finished, it's my fault that we have no savings, I don't know how to manage money, I'm hoarding my money etc etc those are d words that come out of his mouth o.
I used to be a beautiful woman but no more, I wear one shoe everyday to work, can't buy myself clothes shoes nothing I had to cut my hair to relieve myself from hair money lol. I'm stressed out thinking of where money will come for feeding when my salary gets finished before month end at times I have to beg my sister or my dad a pensioner or hussle one way or d other. I now developed high bp and today I'm living with hypertension taking drugs everyday. It was my parents that gave my husband d job he's doing today. He is not in talking terms with he's dad n siblings. Before he's mother died, things were not too good between them. My husband likes to always form man of d house and want me to apologise whenever there's a misunderstanding saying that I am d one wrong, I'm always wondering how am always the one wrong and he's not � every time.
Sometimes self I don't know what I did that mks him angry he will just start carrying face. Today makes it a week we are not talking cos he has been carrying face since 7days now, and went to post something on wassap yesterday that a woman that cannot apologise to her husband cannot stay in marriage.
My brothers and sisters if I know of anything I did that I have to apologise for yet I refused to apologise that is making him carry face, may God strike me. If u know I did anything wrong why not come to me and tell me u don't like what I did and tell me what i did rather than carry face up n down. He always does that. At times I do ask him and as usual am always d one at fault. Maybe it's cos I'm a quiet person he's taking me for mumu.
The national anthem now is that because he does not have money that's why I don't respect him the way I'm supposed to. I'm always careful with my word when gisting with him cos make I make mistake say Donald duke is d current governor of rivers state haaa problem don enter and it may spoil d sweet gisting we were having. He go almost insult me and become uninterested in gisting with me again cos i don talk mumu talk.
So how can I handle such man cos if no be say I be quiet person, I for don receive serious beating black and blue from this man cos he has done it earlier on in our marriage not serious beating sha but I had some bruises. If not that my parents are still alive and warned him. Tho he still attempts once in a blue moon I go jus arrange myself. But I'm kind of tired. I have no money cos trust me, if I had, Maybe i for don dey plan my move sef I no dey enjoy marriage life at all The thing that always baffles me is why do Nigerians always have a big family, at the end of the day school fees and health care have to be paid for. In the western world where I reside people think seriously before having more than two kids and this is after factoring in the fact that school fees and health care is virtually free. |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by bonnyhope: 10:58pm On May 11, 2020 |
olabrinks:
Don’t marry for love marry for money. We have been saying this for centuries. Let them call you a goldigger, let them shame you, you will have the last laugh. What is a man, when he doesn’t have money? What can he do for you? What kind of husband will he be, and how can he provide for his future children? What is potiential, everybody in this world has potiential. You need to see monetary proof that he can lead a home. Think with your brain and not your heart, you will avoid many problems. You will grow to love a man who is a stable provider, you will grow out of love with a man who is a stable broke ass. This is not the generation of building with a man, if a man ain’t got money today, he will 90% not have tomorrow. At least when the man gives you problems (which is 100% certain), you will have stability in regards to finances which is One less problem to deal with. A word is enough for the wise. Your reasoning is so childish A rich man can become poor in a twinkle of an eye What happens then divorce him? |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by Hernandez10: 10:58pm On May 11, 2020 |
Nwodosis:
It is obvious you are not the talking type but the writing type, we have read your version, how do we get your husband's version? There is no smoke without fire! No smoke without fire we need the full stories |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by gbemmy002: 10:58pm On May 11, 2020 |
I may have some helpful tips for you,DM me,you will be glad you did,I was once in your shoes,and I bless God today I am happy and smiling into my account |
| Re: My Fellow Married Women And Mothers, How Do You Deal With A Husband Like Mine? by Ghostmode2two(m): 10:58pm On May 11, 2020 |
There is always two sides to a story. I would like to hear from the other side before I give comment. |
