cococandy:
Except that the so called woke/feminist women have never said women should not marry.

Stay on the facts.

Thank you.

bukatyne:


Until you see some colors together, you really can never visualize their combo.

I thought exactly the same thing when I first saw this color combination, not on her though.

AeroplaneApple:
Most of the women you posted have kids and even a man. Nothing beats having a spouse. Women with spouse are more mentally balanced and make good decisions.

Unlike those that sleep alone and wake alone. There is a part in your life you can't replace with a pillow or a dog

The same applies to men.

Opinions are like assholes ...

SweetCunt97:
Most of them have partners but without the intricacies of "I Do". That they did not marry doesn't mean they led a lonely life

Even if they didn't, being alone/single and being lonely are two different things.

Monishaa:


Thank you.

Misinformation and changing of definitions is a standard tool of those who oppose feminism. Otherwise what would they really have to oppose? The idea that women and men should be treated with equal considerations? Nah. That would sound bad even to their own ears except for those of them who are actually honest about their prejudices against women.

The only way they can find something to oppose is to change definitions and lie about what they think you’re saying.

rockstarB:
The truth is it's not easy finding that worthy person. Some of us dont know what good marriages looks like judging from our parents own. Reading stories here everyday is a nightmare, it's better to be single than miserable in marriage. Have kids if you want to

Modified; SINGLE basically means I AM NOT MARRIED, not that they didnt have partners or whatever. And that to me is saving themselves from lot of marriage commitments that dont even hold water these days. Na scam love remain so

It's not easy and those who find them should cherish their spouses (if they are happy with them) instead of making themselves feel superior by comparison to those who were not lucky enough or simply chose otherwise. Some people should be careful with their arrogance and sense of superiority, our lives are very fragile, you don't know tomorrow. Anything you have been given, can be taken from you in the blink of an eye.

merahki:

Made me smile too.

These are women of other cultures and society, not minding that the Op successfully sneaked in Genevieve to create an appearance that a Nigerian is a member of the group. While it is true that not every women desire marriage, it is also true that a lot of African women are eager to get married and build a family. But the truth remains that if Genevieve meets a "good" today, she wouldn't think twice before embracing the institution of marriage.

Why are we so obsessed with how the western world shapes their value, the way they live, to the detriment of our culture. Marriage, no matter the degree of unceasing campaign to make undesirable, is one of the highly respected institutions in Africa. The African society holds everyone accountable -- men and women -- and pressure to maintain a home is distributed, maybe not evenly, to both gender. We have great value for marriage in Africa, and the breakdown of the institution in the west is not something to be emulated.

Monishaa:


Great personality and a very fulfilled life.

I think it's very admirable of her to have :

1) stood up against slavery during a time like that.

2) stood up against slavery as a woman during a time like that

3) Not bowed down to societal pressure

4) And fought for women's right

She was among the very first women to speak up. I can only imagine the threats she got everyday, the pressure to bow down to societal pressure etc. I mean this is still very much the case in 2020, just take a look at how some automatically assumed this is going to be another 'single women bashing' thread, therefore I can only (thankfully) imagine how the pressure must have been back then

fieryy:


I think it's very admirable of her to have :

1) stood up against slavery during a time like that.

2) stood up against slavery [b]as a woman [/b]during a time like that

3) Not bowed down to societal pressure

4) And fought for women's right

She was among the very first women to speak up. I can only imagine the threats she got everyday, the pressure to bow down to societal pressure etc. I mean this is still very much the case in 2020, just take a look at how some automatically assumed this is going to be another 'single women bashing' thread, therefore I can only (thankfully) imagine how the pressure must have been back then

I agree with you. Absolutely. Such women inspire me and I am forever grateful to them for paving the way for us and all the privileges we enjoy today because of them. Their legacy lives on forever, with or without children.

Monishaa:


It's not easy and those who find them should cherish their spouses (if they are happy with them) instead of making themselves feel superior by comparison to those who were not lucky enough or simply chose otherwise. Some people should be careful with their arrogance and sense of superiority, our lives are very fragile, you don't know tomorrow. Anything you have been given, can be taken from you in the blink of an eye.

This is true, not everyone is lucky with relationships, meeting the right man or woman. I dont think people that stay single because of difficulty in finding a good LIFE PARTNER should be looked down upon. It is mentally and emotionally draining, jumping from one person to another in a bid to get a good wife or husband.

mrblessed:
These are women of other cultures and society, not minding that the Op successfully sneaked in Genevieve to create an appearance that a Nigerian is a member of the group. While it is true that not every women desire marriage, it is also true that a lot of African women are eager to get married and build a family. But the truth remains that if Genevieve meets a "good" today, she wouldn't think twice before embracing the institution of marriage.

Why are we so obsessed with how the western world shapes their value, the way they live, to the detriment of our culture. Marriage, no matter the degree of unceasing campaign to make undesirable, is one of the highly respected institutions in Africa. The African society holds everyone accountable -- men and women -- and pressure to maintain a home is distributed, maybe not evenly, to both gender. We have great value for marriage in Africa, and the breakdown of the institution in the west is not something to be emulated.

Western women, African women, white women, black women, small women, tall women, loud women, shy women, extrovert women, outspoken women, quiet women, all women.

Your marriage culture has been shaped by Westerners a long time ago. You still live in Victorian England.

rockstarB:

This is true, not everyone is lucky with relationships, meeting the right man or woman. I dont think people that stay single because of difficulty in finding a good LIFE PARTNER should be looked down upon. It is mentally and emotionally draining, jumping from one person to another in a bid to get a good wife or husband.

I have tried to show that the reasons why women do not get married are diverse. Sometimes it is a choice, sometimes life happens. Either way they still continued living their lives and self-realizing through good and bad times which everyone, married or not, experiences.

Monishaa:


I agree with you. Absolutely. Such women inspire me and I am forever grateful for paving the way for us and all the privileges we enjoy today because of them. Their legacy lives on forever, with or without children.

Damn right! It's because of them we have a say in society, it's because of them we are able to vote. We are no longer slaves our leaders would have sold off to Europe or US because of people like her.

How do you guys manage to live with your hypocritical selves? The same set of posters that hounded another moniker in the other thread for being pro-marriage are the same lot cheering this Op for subtly being anti-marriage.

You guys hypocrisy stinks.

mrblessed:
These are women of other cultures and society, not minding that the Op successfully sneaked in Genevieve to create an appearance that a Nigerian is a member of the group. While it is true that not every women desire marriage, it is also true that a lot of African women are eager to get married and build a family. But the truth remains that if Genevieve meets a "good" today, she wouldn't think twice before embracing the institution of marriage.

Why are we so obsessed with how the western world shapes their value, the way they live, to the detriment of our culture. Marriage, no matter the degree of unceasing campaign to make undesirable, is one of the highly respected institutions in Africa. The African society holds everyone accountable -- men and women -- and pressure to maintain a home is distributed, maybe not evenly, to both gender. We have great value for marriage in Africa, and the breakdown of the institution in the west is not something to be emulated.

Like you said about Genevieve, until you find a good patner it is reasonable to stay single. It is better than being miserable in marriage. Breakdown of marriage in Africa sucks as well, the burden to build the home rest upon the woman only. It is worse in the time of our mothers and their daughters have refused to pass through the same fire their mothers went through just to count as a wife.
One of the reasons African marriages can be talked about is because there are wives holding it down regardless of whether the husband is cheating or not, a deadbeat dad or not, domestic violence or not. I can list more.
The modern African woman, an enlightened educated one would rather remain single or at best divorce and unreasonable man than continue to take nonsense in the name of marriage. I'm not disputing that there are good ones, until you find that good person stay single

PART II


Queen Elizabeth I (The Virgin Queen)

She brought a Renaissance glory to England, and while she was loved by her people.

Observers and historians, from Elizabeth I’s reign until the present time, have discussed and debated why the Queen never married. The claim in her first parliamentary speech about preferring the single state was not extraordinary. Her sister Mary Tudor made the same disclaimer before instructing her privy councillors to negotiate a marriage treaty with the advisors of Philip, future king of Spain. In this patriarchal society, people expected husbands to take charge of their wives’ property and business. It is not surprising, therefore, that Sir James Melville, the Scottish ambassador, should have observed in 1564 that Elizabeth remained unmarried because she wanted to be both king and queen.

Octavia Butler (1947-2006)

She was an African-American writer and the only science fiction writer to date to receive a “genius grant” from the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation. Butler overcame shyness, self-doubt and an improverished childhood to become recipient of Hugo awards, Nebula awards and an award for lifetime achievement in writing.

Maggie Kuhn (1905-1995)

American social activist who was central in establishing the group that became known as the Gray Panthers, which works for the rights and welfare of the elderly. She once quipped: “Many people asked me, ‘You’re not married — how does it happen that a woman like you never married?’ And my standard response is, ‘Sheer luck.'”

Monishaa:
PART II


Queen Elizabeth I (The Virgin Queen)

Elizabeth remained unmarried because she wanted to be both king and queen.

And that she became! A slay queen (just look at how she posed and all that jewellery ), who turned a mere kingdom into an empire! Under her reign Great Britain saw an explosive expansion of the British Empire. That's the queen of the largest empire in history

emmaodet:


If you think so, then so shall it be.
You don't expect people doing well in there marriages to come online and start shouting about it.
If you want to see people with good marriages, change your circle because people i mingle with 90% have good marriages in this same nigeria.
If you want to be single and hopping on dicks regularly, it is your choice but don't downgrade marriage due to your own shortcomings in it.
Naturally, people hate or don't like things they fail at.
Most employees don't like business because they don't have what it takes to succeed in it. It is very easy for you to see a dull student who doesn't like going to school and someone that hates church will always downgrade it.
You may be succesful in other parts of your life like finance, business etc but so far so good, in relationship cum marriage, i believe you failed.

How can someone fail in what he has no control over? Marriage comes after relationship and I tell you not everyone is lucky in that aspect. About business or education it is something you can improve on personally. Relationship isn't like that, individuals brings something to the table and if unfortunately a person keeps meeting potential partners that clearly will be bad in marriage nko? You just jump into it because you want to be married. Life is both fair and unfair.

fieryy:


And that she became! A slay queen (just look at how she posed and all that jewellery ), who turned a mere kingdom into an empire! Under her reign Great Britain saw an explosive expansion of the British Empire. That's the queen of the largest empire in history

Damn right!

Monishaa:


Western women, African women, white women, black women, small women, tall women, loud women, shy women, extrovert women, outspoken women, quiet women, all women.

Your marriage culture has been shaped by Westerners a long time ago. You still live in Victorian England.

Do you really know what "Victorian England" means? It means a period between 1837 and 1901, when Queen Victoria was on the throne. Even the British culture has evolved a great deal from that time to this moment, including their views on marriage. How is it still possible for one to live Victorian age? Not even for someone in West Africa. Or is it a thoughtless putdown to deflect a harmless, superior viewpoint?

It is true that our marriage system has been influenced by westerners through colonialism, still, there are vestiges of African values that have remained defiant in the face of this gruesome onslaught. One of them is respect and value for marriage. African marriage is not perfect but it is better to what is obtainable in the west. That is a consolation, despite the outsized influence of their culture on Africa.

Anna Pauline “Pauli” Murray (1910-1985)

She was an activist for civil rights and women’s rights, a lawyer, teacher, poet and minister. Murray served as professor of American Studies at Brandies University, was a co-founder of the National Organization for Women, and was the first African-American woman ordained as an Episcopal priest.

Acidosis:


Hmmn

I have realized that if you are not on same moral plane or have same ethics, some things would never make sense.

Imagine a Muslim trying to sell polygamy to you.

Yeah even Mary Wolstonecraft and that her book:Vindication on the rights of woman Those early feminist or protofemist were very inspiring to the cause if not for them who knows if I would have been married off to Johnbull birthing kids like a machine with no form of education whatsoever

fieryy:


I think it's very admirable of her to have :

1) stood up against slavery during a time like that.

2) stood up against slavery as a woman during a time like that

3) Not bowed down to societal pressure

4) And fought for women's right

She was among the very first women to speak up. I can only imagine the threats she got everyday, the pressure to bow down to societal pressure etc. I mean this is still very much the case in 2020, just take a look at how some automatically assumed this is going to be another 'single women bashing' thread, therefore I can only (thankfully) imagine how the pressure must have been back then

Harriet Miers (1945- )

She is a lawyer who served as White House Counsel for President George W. Bush. Prior to her government service, she represented clients which included the Walt Disney Company and Microsoft. She served as president of the Dallas Bar Association (the first female to hold that post) and chaired the Board of Editors for the Journal of the American Bar Association. In 2007, she registered with the United States Department of State as an agent for the Pakistan Peoples Party and the Embassy of Pakistan.

Monishaa:


The thread is not about motherhood.

It is not about motherhood but you so happen to mention that some of these women are mothers? Abeg. This thread

Louisa May Alcott

As the daughter of a Transcendentalist philosopher and one of the first social workers in Boston, Louisa May Alcott grew up with more freedom and education than the average girl in the mid–19th century. Though she wrote more than 200 works, she is best known for her novel Little Women. Alcott had no desire to get married and wanted the same for the fictional version of herself: Jo March in Little Women. Unfortunately, her publisher insisted that she marry the character off at the end of her iconic book, and that's the ending we know today. Spoiler alert: Here are more endings to those famous books you never got around to reading.

Florence Nightingale

As one of the most famous nurses in the world, Florence Nightingale cared for a lot of people—but that didn't include a husband. Though she had numerous suitors throughout her life and at least two marriage proposals, she decided not to marry, believing that God had chosen her to work and serve others as a single woman. She summed up her reasoning for rejecting a marriage proposal in a diary entry she wrote when she was 17: "I have a moral, an active nature which requires satisfaction and that I would not find in his life. I could be satisfied to spend a life with him in combining our different powers to some great object. I could not satisfy this nature by spending a life with him in making society and arranging domestic things."

rockstarB:

Like you said about Genevieve, until you find a good patner it is reasonable to stay single. It is better than being miserable in marriage. Breakdown of marriage in Africa sucks as well, the burden to build the home rest upon the woman only. It is worse in the time of our mothers and their daughters have refused to pass through the same fire their mothers went through just to count as a wife.
One of the reasons African marriages can be talked about is because there are wives holding it down regardless of whether the husband is cheating or not, a deadbeat dad or not, domestic violence or not. I can list more.
The modern African woman, an enlightened educated one would rather remain single or at best divorce and unreasonable man than continue to take nonsense in the name of marriage. I'm not disputing that there are good ones, until you find that good person stay single

My point isn't that women should marry at all cost to escape from societal stigmatisation. That would be wallow and base. I merely refuted a simplistic glorification of single ladies of other cultures as a perfect example of what African women should be, when we know that our women are naturally disposed to getting married and building a home. There should be no shame in desiring marriage as a lady, of course, with the right guy as you correctly noted.

However, you greatly erred when you decided to awarded all the credit of building and maintaining a home to the African women, and convicted African men as monsters whose sole desire are to wreck the institution of marriage with complete abandon.This is extreme and inaccurate on all accounts. There are men who are putting up with bad marriages as there are women as well. The voices of women are mostly often heard because men are culturally socialised to endure pain and suppressed their emotions. Still, I don't hold brief for any gender, because I am an apostle of balance and fairness.

AmazonTopaz:
Yeah even Mary Wolstonecraft and that her book:Vindication on the rights of woman Those early feminist or protofemist were very inspiring to the cause if not for them who knows if I would have been married off to Johnbull biryhing kids like a machine with no form of education whatsoever

Loool

Honestly, their stories always leave me in awe. They paved the way for a lot of women and that must have required a lot of bravery. Especially, since I know they must not have only been victims of backlash from men, but also women of that time.
Their fights have not been in vain and should continue to not be in vain. The freedom of us women to decide how we want to live our lives should never be taken for granted.