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Unmarried Women - Family (7) - Nairaland

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Woman Breaks Down Over Being Broke, Childless, And Unmarried At Age 30 / How Do I Tell My Unmarried Elder Sister That She Is Getting Too Old? / How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Unmarried Women by cococandy(f): 10:52am On May 15, 2020
Arthur2021:
I agree with you on this ,how about my other points?

The actions of some radical feminists are made bare for all and sundry to witness. If someone calls feminists out for it why accuse them of mischaracterization and accuse them of prejudice towards women??
Except what you’re saying is not entirely true. Some of it is and to respond to you factually without using blanket phrases such as “made bare for all to see” which really means nothing, I’d have to go sifting through posts for you.

You erroneously debunked my stance of some feminists and woke women belittling traditional women or women that choose to marry(even on this forum many ladies call others pick mesha or seeking male validation when they express their opinion).


women on this forum belittle others for being married? Are you confusing this for posts that push against women who encourage misogyny and practices that benefit men to the detriment of women?
If you find one post that says women who choose to get married are this or that (insert something negative) I’ll be the first to the tell the poster to desist.
However it is not the same as when a post that encourages misogyny is pushed against. (No reference to anyone in particular.)


You went as far as accusing me of prejudice against women in your post to another moniker for pointing out not just some flaws of feminists but also those of traditional women that bully woke women for their choice(I didn't just blame feminists and woke women ,I also blamed traditional women that enforce marriage on all ladies).you singled out the portion were I talked about woke/feminists (I didn't even attack the movement but the radical feminists that go so far with it) but ignored when I called out traditional women for oppressing woke women and called it misinformation and opposition to the movement.
Let's be fair here.

You may be taking on the burden of a post addressed to the general clan of those who hate on feminists. Don’t bear it alone.

And you never did state what makes this thread anti-marriage. You know why, It’s because it isn’t

3 Likes

Re: Unmarried Women by mrblessed(m): 10:52am On May 15, 2020
MagpieMonishaa:


I wish to be richer than Donal Trump. So?
It is not impossible but do have what it takes to be richer than Donald Trump? Your choice of President Trump is a giveaway, because he inherited his wealth from his late dad. Why not aspire to become our "local" Dangote? At least, there is an element of grass to grace entrepreneurial stint in his story. Again, your choice points to the cardinal message of this post: our uncritical, sheepish obsession with anything and everything Western.
Re: Unmarried Women by Nobody: 10:53am On May 15, 2020
CAPSLOCKED:


MEN ALSO HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE AND DECIDE WHATEVER CHARACTERISTICS THEY WANT IN WOMEN. THEY CAN TURN DOWN WHOEVER THEY WANT WITHOUT HAVING TO EXPLAIN THEMSELVES.

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO WANT YOUR OWN RIGHTS TO DO ANYTHING, BUT THEN TRY TO DENY MEN THEIR RIGHTS OF WANTING ONLY LIGHT SKINNED WOMEN, VIRGINS OR WORKINGCLASS WOMEN.

OTHER WOMEN HAVE THE RIGHTS TO WANT BROKE MEN, AND ADVOCATE MARRIAGES TOO.

MODERN DAY FEMINISTS WANT TO BE THE ONLY ONES ABLE TO CHOOSE? WE WILL NOT ALLOW THAT cheesy.

And you read that post, quoted this and not this undecided

Besides, I see some guys list down what they want in a woman and what they don't. What's stopping them from adding 'broke women' to the list? As a matter of fact, most do not even want to marry women who earn more than they do!

What exactly is stopping you from adding those attributes to your list? Or rather who can even stop you or who is already stopping you from adding those to your list? And how does your post contradict from what I said undecided

3 Likes

Re: Unmarried Women by Arthur2021: 10:54am On May 15, 2020
MagpieMonishaa:


Right!

Not everyone has the strength or confidence though. And doing it does not stop anyone for speaking against discriminating norms.
you were banned? Why?

I am not against anyone speaking up against norms. There will always be dissatisfaction in life with a practise or norm,that is why we have movements coming up everyday...its not wrong to fight for a cause(within the confines of the law)

My point is that some people depend on society approval before acting.

Why die in a marriage you are a punching bag instead of moving out because of norm?work on your self confidence!

1 Like

Re: Unmarried Women by cococandy(f): 10:54am On May 15, 2020
There’s a real cooking tournament?

Oooh. shocked
I’ll probably watch. Who dash me representation grin
LordKO:


Maybe I will become better as I continue to imitate you - only if my empty head will not disappoint me later. Meanwhile, it looks like you will the person who will represent Nigeria - don't tell me that you'll choose the U.S. over Nigeria in this instance - at the world cooking tournament next year. 

4 Likes

Re: Unmarried Women by MagpieMonishaa: 10:55am On May 15, 2020
mrblessed:
It is not impossible but do have what it takes to be richer than Donald Trump? Your choice of President Trump is a giveaway, because he inherited his wealth from his late dad. Why not aspire to become our "local" Dangote? At least, there is an element of grass to grace entrepreneurial stint in his story. Again, your choice points to the cardinal message of this post: our uncritical, sheepish obsession with anything and everything Western.

You missed the point.

2 Likes

Re: Unmarried Women by MagpieMonishaa: 10:59am On May 15, 2020
Arthur2021:
you were banned? Why?

I am not against anyone speaking up against norms. There will always be dissatisfaction in life with a practise or norm,that is why we have movements coming up everyday...its not wrong to fight for a cause(within the confines of the law)

My point is that some people depend on society approval before acting.

Why die in a marriage you are a punching bag instead of moving out because of norm?work on your self confidence!

By the anti spam bot for posting another example of an unmarried woman. The anti spam bot is a bot, makes mistakes.

I agree with many of the points you have raised on this thread and I appreciate your contributions (except for the insults you rained on my lovely fie.rry) and I have been asking myself the same questions over and over again. Part of it is simply our need to belong, be accepted and appreciated. Part of it is fear. Another part lack of resources. Topic for another day.

1 Like

Re: Unmarried Women by MagpieMonishaa: 11:01am On May 15, 2020
cococandy:

women on this forum belittle others for being married? Are you confusing this for posts that push against women who encourage misogyny and practices that benefit men to the detriment of women?
If you find one post that says women who choose to get married are this or that (insert something negative) I’ll be the first to the tell the poster to desist.
However it is not the same as when a post that encourages misogyny is pushed against. (No reference to anyone in particular.)

I am yet to see it too. shocked

1 Like

Re: Unmarried Women by SweetCunt97(f): 11:02am On May 15, 2020
MagpieMonishaa:


Being alone is a state of being (without other people). Loneliness is a feeling that can be a result of it. In other words, some people love being by themselves and others feel unhappy about it.
True

1 Like

Re: Unmarried Women by sisisioge: 11:05am On May 15, 2020
Somehow, as always, we have successfully missed the point about this thread and turned it to a gender war. I think what OP is just trying to say is that women(which is her focus, otherwise, she would have included several single men's profiles as well) should be free to explore the option of singlehood without societal stigmatization. If being married makes you happy, go for it. If staying single makes you happy, go for it. You choice shouldn't stop you from procreating, loving or having a fulfilled life. It's that simple.

While people like Bukatyne should be allowed her views without ridicule(sebi na her views), people like the OP should be allowed theirs too. As there are countless failed/unhappy marriages, there would be several failed/unhappy singlehood too...may we just choose right. EOD.

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Re: Unmarried Women by cococandy(f): 11:05am On May 15, 2020
MagpieMonishaa:


I am yet to see it too. shocked

Because it doesn’t happen. I mean I’m not everywhere on Nairaland so maybe in some obscure section where I don’t frequent, it happens. So I can’t swear it basically.

But some posters are trying to categorize anti-misogyny posts as anti-marriage posts. Two separate things. Unless there’s an underlying message that misogyny is needed for a marriage to be a good and successful one.

2 Likes

Re: Unmarried Women by Jullima(f): 11:06am On May 15, 2020
If you believe women are to blame for a bad spouse because they chose wrongly, then wouldn’t you be all for women remaining single and living their best lives rather than marrying any Ayo, Musa and Obi because they need to get married? You would celebrate these women that refused to compromise and marry any man just so they can be a MRS. Lol women cannot win with you people.

FYI this isn’t an anti-marriage thread. A marriage shouldn’t define a woman, wether the woman is married, single or divorced.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Unmarried Women by MagpieMonishaa: 11:08am On May 15, 2020
cococandy:


Because it doesn’t happen. I mean I’m not everywhere on Nairaland so maybe in some obscure section where I don’t frequent, it happens. So I can’t swear it basically.

But some posters are trying to categorize anti-misogyny posts as anti-marriage posts. Two separate things. Unless there’s an underlying message that misogyny is needed for a marriage to be a good and successful one.

Women are not ridiculed for getting married. If that ever happens anywhere it is an extreme exception not the norm but it is the norm and everyday reality for women (and men) to be ridiculed and verbally abused for being single past a certain age.

2 Likes

Re: Unmarried Women by LordKO(m): 11:12am On May 15, 2020
cococandy:
There’s a real cooking tournament?

Oooh. shocked
I’ll probably watch. Who dash me representation grin


We can't afford to go to the tournament without one of our best - participation will be free for all of our best cooks, our magnanimity as a country remains unwavering. So, the "who dash me representation" will not hold water. LOL.

Yes, there ought to be a real world cooking tournament next year, but for the COVID-19 wahala.

Have a nice day.

2 Likes

Re: Unmarried Women by MagpieMonishaa: 11:16am On May 15, 2020
sisisioge:
Somehow, as always, we have successfully missed the point about this thread and turned it to a gender war. I think what OP is just trying to say is that women(which is her focus, otherwise, she would have included several single men's profiles as well) should be free to explore the option of singlehood without societal stigmatization. If being married makes you happy, go for it. If staying single makes you happy, go for it. You choice shouldn't stop you from procreating, loving or having a fulfilled life. It's that simple.

While people like Bukatyne should be allowed her views without ridicule(sebi na her views), people like the OP should be allowed theirs too. As their are countless failed/unhappy marriages, there would be several failed/unhappy singlehood too...may we just choose right. EOD.


I am glad it has not escalated (yet) and I acknowledge that some posters are keeping the discussion classy. If anyone goes off the rails, they have themselves to blame.

All I wanted to do was show that women can choose or by some circumstance happen to live single and still have a sense of fulfillment and what is more leave a long lasting legacy. I also wanted to give these women a face because they are too often dehumanized on this forum. I think I achieved my goal and much more. I delighted in the celebration of these women and I know that their stories are a source of inspiration, which I didn't seek but found.

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Re: Unmarried Women by gowonmaharajah(m): 11:16am On May 15, 2020
grin
most of the ladies in support of the op are probably evening newspapers with no hope of getting a man, or lesbians.

hahaha

3 Likes

Re: Unmarried Women by cococandy(f): 11:17am On May 15, 2020
MagpieMonishaa:


Women are not ridiculed for getting married. If that ever happens anywhere it is an extreme exception not the norm but it is the norm and everyday reality for women (and men) to be ridiculed and verbally abused for being single past a certain age.
Exactly.
Like this guy is doing
gowonmaharajah:
grin
most of the ladies in support of the op are probably evening newspapers with no hope of getting a man, or lesbians.

hahaha

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Unmarried Women by MagpieMonishaa: 11:18am On May 15, 2020
gowonmaharajah:
grin
most of the ladies in support of the op are probably evening newspapers with no hope of getting a man, or lesbians.

hahaha

It pains you?
Re: Unmarried Women by MagpieMonishaa: 11:19am On May 15, 2020
cococandy:

Exactly.
Like this guy is doing

My thoughts. wink

1 Like

Re: Unmarried Women by cococandy(f): 11:19am On May 15, 2020
There ought to be.
It would be very interesting. And in a real worldwide scenario? Na real who dash me. Common stop playing grin

However.....Thanks for the compliment
LordKO:



We can't afford to go to the tournament without one of our best - participation will be free for all of our best cooks, our magnanimity as a country remains unwavering. So, the "who dash me representation" will not hold water. LOL.

Yes, there ought to be a real world cooking tournament next year, but for the COVID-19 wahala.

Have a nice day.

2 Likes

Re: Unmarried Women by Arthur2021: 11:21am On May 15, 2020
cococandy:
Except what you’re saying is not entirely true. Some of it is and to respond to you factually without using blanket phrases such as “made bare for all to see” which really means nothing, I’d have to go sifting through posts for you.



women on this forum belittle others for being married? Are you confusing this for posts that push against women who encourage misogyny and practices that benefit men to the detriment of women?
go through my post again I didn't say belittle for being married but for being traditional.. What is misogyny?if you are mistaken hatred,contempt or prejudice( for example beating,cheating,marital rape) against women for a lady willfully deciding to submit to her husband or taking traditional roles (like being a housewife) which she loves then we can't agree.

Some ladies are angry with just the notion that a lady sees her man as the head,even if she willfully chooses to do so and the couple are living harmoniously . it doesn't have to be when he is beating her black and blue before they belittle her

Check out eye.ness post on pickmesha,or various derogatory terms used to describe women that are being traditional.

If you find one post that says women who choose to get married are this or that (insert something negative) I’ll be the first to the tell the poster to desist.
However it is not the same as when a post that encourages misogyny is pushed against. (No reference to anyone in particular.)
I agree there are not those who call others out for marrying that I know. But they are ladies that have belittled and accused other ladies for their choices or opinions that aren't even misogynistic on this forum(you are more popular on food section and family son you may not notice it as it is prominent in romance section) . one popular feminist said women that aren't feminists are lesbians. I don't want to derail this thread by calling names.



You may be taking on the burden of a post addressed to the general clan of those who hate on feminists. Don’t bear it alone.
what was I supposed to think when the post of yours was knitted closely to mine?
Why does hating feminists that belittle other women for their choice(especially radical feminists that want to eschew masculinity and femininity) have to do with hating feminism or having prejudice against women?

2 Likes

Re: Unmarried Women by MagpieMonishaa: 11:29am On May 15, 2020
Arthur2021

There is a difference between being traditional and telling others to be traditional too.
Re: Unmarried Women by crackland: 11:31am On May 15, 2020
Bojack:
Nice thread, still waiting for unmarried men
Unmarried men have NEVER found a need to prove to themselves they are happily single and unmarried.

That's some low self-esteem shít.


Independent woman
Strong woman
Single woman
Successful woman


All different iterations of the same psychological need to show a faux sense of self-esteem.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Unmarried Women by Ladyhippolyta88(f): 11:34am On May 15, 2020
IVORY2009:



Yeah, I was on an official assignment, how are you and your family? Tnx grin
Ok.Good to hear from you.

Family and I are fine smiley

Thank you and stay safe smiley
Re: Unmarried Women by gowonmaharajah(m): 11:34am On May 15, 2020
na western culture go finish us laslas.

and if you're a Nigerian that resides in Nigeria and pathetically you're feasting on OP's piece of garbage. your on a long thing and sorry is your case

3 Likes

Re: Unmarried Women by MagpieMonishaa: 11:35am On May 15, 2020
Mary Eliza Mahoney (1845-1926)

On March 3, 1878, Mary Mahoney was accepted into New England Hospital’s graduate nursing program. During her training, Mahoney participated in mandatory 16-hour-per-day ward duty, where she oversaw the well-being of six patients at a time. Days not requiring ward duty involved attending day-long lectures while simultaneously devoting time to her studies. Completing the rigorous 16-month program on August 1, 1879, Mahoney was among the three graduates out of the 40 students who began the program and the only African American awarded a diploma. Upon her graduation Mary Mahoney became the first African American graduate nurse.

In a 40-year career, Mahoney directed the Howard Orphan Asylum in Long Island, New York, and was a founding member of the group that became the American Nurses Association.
After retirement, Mahoney continued to fight for minority rights and in 1920 became one of the first women to register to vote in Boston.




Cc: For Merahki and Cococandy (my ladies from the medical field, our heroes in the time of Covid-19) kiss kiss

1 Like

Re: Unmarried Women by Arthur2021: 11:37am On May 15, 2020
MagpieMonishaa:
Arthur2021

There is a difference between being traditional and telling others to be traditional too.
OK...if woke women can advise other women to be woke,why can't traditional women have the right to advise other women to be traditional?

What do you define as telling? Giving advise based on experience and ones own school of thought or forcing and belittling others to do heed to your ways

On this forum many monikers have been dragged for being traditional (I mean talking of their own lives and how it works for them) not just by advising others...

3 Likes

Re: Unmarried Women by IVORY2009(m): 11:37am On May 15, 2020
Ladyhippolyta88:

Ok.Good to hear from you.

Family and I are fine smiley

Thank you and stay safe smiley


Alright thanks.....

1 Like

Re: Unmarried Women by cococandy(f): 11:39am On May 15, 2020
Arthur2021:
go through my post again I didn't say belittle for being married but for being traditional..
mmm okay.

What is misogyny?if you are mistaken hatred,contempt or prejudice( for example beating,cheating,marital rape against women
yes that’s misogyny and any man or woman who accepts/minimizes such is a misogynist. I’m not mistaking it for a woman choosing a traditional role. As long as it’s HER CHOICE, I’m down baby. It’s feminist to support other women’s choices. It’s not feminist to look the other way when things such as the above in bold are told to women as stuff they shouldn’t make a big deal of when a man does it.

for a lady willfully deciding to submit to her husband or taking traditional roles (like being a housewife) which she loves then we can't agree.

Some ladies are angry with just the notion that a lady sees her man as the head,even if she willfully chooses to do so and the couple are living harmoniously . it doesn't have to be when he is beating her black and blue before they belittle her
that’s unusual. Most women don’t care if you call your husband lord. It’s when you tell them that they should do same then it becomes an issue. See the difference?

Check out eye.ness post on pickmesha,or various derogatory terms used to describe women that are being traditional.
I don’t know that person. However if she’s using that term to describe ladies who are making their own choices without foisting their views as things other women SHOULD do, then she’s wrong. No different from the ones she’s describing

I agree there are not those who call others out for marrying that I know But they are ladies that have belittled and accused other ladies for their choices or opinions that aren't even misogynistic on this forum(you are more popular on food section and family son you may not notice it as it is prominent in romance section) . one popular feminist said women that aren't feminists are lesbians. I don't want to derail this thread by calling names.
yes!!! at the rest mmm. If you say so.

what was I supposed to think when the post of yours was knitted closely to mine?
Why does hating feminists that belittle other women for their choice(especially radical feminists that want to eschew masculinity and femininity) have to do with hating feminism or having prejudice against women?
Okay let’s chuck this bit down to miscommunication.
Re: Unmarried Women by MagpieMonishaa: 11:41am On May 15, 2020
Arthur2021:

OK...if woke women can advise other women to be woke,why can't traditional women have the right to advise other women to be traditional?

What do you define as telling? Giving advise based on experience and ones own school of thought or forcing and belittling others to do heed to your ways

I don't speak for 'woke women', I speak for myself. I can't even stand this terminology 'woke'. Puts me off.

To your question:

Me opening a thread like this and telling other ladies to live like the ladies I gave examples of. Simple. wink

Correction:
Unsolicited advice. wink
Re: Unmarried Women by Arthur2021: 11:44am On May 15, 2020
CAPSLOCKED:


MEN ALSO HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE AND DECIDE WHATEVER CHARACTERISTICS THEY WANT IN WOMEN. THEY CAN TURN DOWN WHOEVER THEY WANT WITHOUT HAVING TO EXPLAIN THEMSELVES.

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO WANT YOUR OWN RIGHTS TO DO ANYTHING, BUT THEN TRY TO DENY MEN THEIR RIGHTS OF WANTING ONLY LIGHT SKINNED WOMEN, VIRGINS OR WORKINGCLASS WOMEN.

OTHER WOMEN HAVE THE RIGHTS TO WANT BROKE MEN, AND ADVOCATE MARRIAGES TOO.

MODERN DAY FEMINISTS WANT TO BE THE ONLY ONES ABLE TO CHOOSE? WE WILL NOT ALLOW THAT cheesy.
remember how they dragged ubunja for starting men should marry ladies between 18-25? They called him a paedophile.
Remember how they accuse men of body shaming when they say they want ladies without stretch marks of sagging breasts?
Remember how they drag redpillers for emphasizing marriage to virgins only..
Alor of people want to have choices but if a man have his choice he is misogynistic

4 Likes

Re: Unmarried Women by cococandy(f): 11:44am On May 15, 2020
MagpieMonishaa:
Mary Eliza Mahoney (1845-1926)

On March 3, 1878, Mary Mahoney was accepted into New England Hospital’s graduate nursing program. During her training, Mahoney participated in mandatory 16-hour-per-day ward duty, where she oversaw the well-being of six patients at a time. Days not requiring ward duty involved attending day-long lectures while simultaneously devoting time to her studies . Completing the rigorous 16-month program on August 1, 1879, Mahoney was among the three graduates out of the 40 students who began the program and the only African American awarded a diploma. Upon her graduation Mary Mahoney became the first African American graduate nurse.

In a 40-year career, Mahoney directed the Howard Orphan Asylum in Long Island, New York, and was a founding member of the group that became the American Nurses Association.
After retirement, Mahoney continued to fight for minority rights and in 1920 became one of the first women to register to vote in Boston.




Cc: For Merahki and Cococandy (my ladies from the medical field, our heroes in the time of Covid-19) kiss kiss
Thank you smiley

@bold, much hasn’t changed. Instead we usually have 12 hour days. Rarely do we have have 16 hour days. But continuous side education and holding a family together (for some of us) is still part of it . Respect to Mary Mahoney. Respect to merahki. Respect to me . Respect to all of us smiley

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