Prof0fficial:


this is one sided I think we need to hear from him...
u said u earn far more than him?
u pay the school fees and groceries... who pay the Rent and others
He beats you?? I think u lied based on your tone... or both of u quarrel? can you shed more light
do you respect him as your husband? are you loyal...
begging people to bring their problems?? I think you are exaggerating....
well I may deduce and put it to you that the cause of your problems with him is financial selfishness...
do you want to keep your money and spend only his money when you know how poor his income is..
are you jealous of his good reputation...
nevertheless you seem to nag on him...
leave him if you aren't comfortable spending your money and then look for a man who is richer than you who you will spend his money and then keep sparing yours.

i have learnt to understand that wives always want to play victims in marriages, they would present it to the public as if the husband is monster, as if he has 100% fault if marriages collapsed. so many underhand actions and inactions that she was doing that turned husband to abandoned some duty for her at home, she refused to state it,

Zaronxpanol:
I went to hell and back in my former marriage. My pastor keeps preaching on forgiveness and people are saying I am bitter and unforgiving. Nobody walked in my shoes in that marriage. My ex-husband acted all nice to people in our church and in public places but when he turns to me he is very hostile and unbothered towards my needs, our kids, and my family.
He loves people bringing their problems for him to solve and gets angry when he is not called to help outside people or render eye service help. While our concern at home didn't mean anything to him. I paid my children school fees and paid for groceries while under the same roof with this man. He always acted nice whenever he wanted sex, or in need of a favor from me because as a banker my salary was twice his salary as a Lecturer. But I didn't complain. My major challenge with him was that he was sharing his salary with the public and while I was spending my money within the family.

I fly to his family bi-monthly with gifts even though they live far away in another state without my husband motivating me to do so. My ex-husband won't do the same or even buy 5naira biscuits for my family who lived in the same state as us then. Whenever I discussed the issue with him and tell him to adjust, he will either beat me or insult me or overdo the character which I asked him to amend. He thought my life depended on the marriage and I wasn't gonna quit. Yes, I behaved as if my life depended on it but it wasn't my fault, I gave my all and wanted my marriage to work.
When the marriage crashed he was quick to move on.
Now that I am a branch manager, he is telling everyone including pastors to beg me and preach sermons that make me feel guilty.
They are telling me I have an unforgiving spirit and that my ex-husband is known to be generous to the public.
Does the bible say we should go back to our pain or dwell in hell on earth?

when you didn't marry a lunatic, husband doesn't pay school fees of his own kids but preface to be father xmas outside,

when i studied the one sided story critically, i discovered the wife have 60% blame, maybe
the wife is unable to be controlled by her husband because she is richer than husband, to confirm it she said the husband would feel remorse whenever he wanted sex, which means she frustrated him even to have sex with her because of the wive dominearing tendency.

if truly u left ur hubby and dnt have a single taut of going back, u dnt need to seek public opinion on the crashed marriage and you supposed to have left the church so that you won't hear any sermon that can make u change ur heart.

Zaronxpanol:
Thanks all for your comments.
On a serious note, I need a bible scholar or a religious leader to read my story and advise me in this scenario. Because it seems I am the one been painted as a black sheep. My ex-husband has an innocent face and he is good at gaining public sympathy and pretending.

my sister, he go always dae beat you .domestic violence no easy to liquidate from some men gene.....as u don get children so just jejely face dem.

FYI=me and my formal pastor wife no dae talk ,we dae keep malice. Forget the pastor all of us na human being with flesh ahbeg.

Zaronxpanol:
I went to hell and back in my former marriage. My pastor keeps preaching on forgiveness and people are saying I am bitter and unforgiving. Nobody walked in my shoes in that marriage. My ex-husband acted all nice to people in our church and in public places but when he turns to me he is very hostile and unbothered towards my needs, our kids, and my family.
He loves people bringing their problems for him to solve and gets angry when he is not called to help outside people or render eye service help. While our concern at home didn't mean anything to him. I paid my children school fees and paid for groceries while under the same roof with this man. He always acted nice whenever he wanted sex, or in need of a favor from me because as a banker my salary was twice his salary as a Lecturer. But I didn't complain. My major challenge with him was that he was sharing his salary with the public and while I was spending my money within the family.

I fly to his family bi-monthly with gifts even though they live far away in another state without my husband motivating me to do so. My ex-husband won't do the same or even buy 5naira biscuits for my family who lived in the same state as us then. Whenever I discussed the issue with him and tell him to adjust, he will either beat me or insult me or overdo the character which I asked him to amend. He thought my life depended on the marriage and I wasn't gonna quit. Yes, I behaved as if my life depended on it but it wasn't my fault, I gave my all and wanted my marriage to work.
When the marriage crashed he was quick to move on.
Now that I am a branch manager, he is telling everyone including pastors to beg me and preach sermons that make me feel guilty.
They are telling me I have an unforgiving spirit and that my ex-husband is known to be generous to the public.
Does the bible say we should go back to our pain or dwell in hell on earth?

Men's pride is one thing that makes them look as if they are the highest thing on earth

A man can't be charitable outside his marriage and becomes a terrorist at home to his wife

The dream of every woman is to build her marriage but while building her home, the man keeps shaking the foundation, it will not stand firm

It's up to you to forgive him if you think he has changed

It's your life that us involve and your happiness now and forever is what should be your priority

Zaronxpanol:
I went to hell and back in my former marriage. My pastor keeps preaching on forgiveness and people are saying I am bitter and unforgiving. Nobody walked in my shoes in that marriage. My ex-husband acted all nice to people in our church and in public places but when he turns to me he is very hostile and unbothered towards my needs, our kids, and my family.
He loves people bringing their problems for him to solve and gets angry when he is not called to help outside people or render eye service help. While our concern at home didn't mean anything to him. I paid my children school fees and paid for groceries while under the same roof with this man. He always acted nice whenever he wanted sex, or in need of a favor from me because as a banker my salary was twice his salary as a Lecturer. But I didn't complain. My major challenge with him was that he was sharing his salary with the public and while I was spending my money within the family.

I fly to his family bi-monthly with gifts even though they live far away in another state without my husband motivating me to do so. My ex-husband won't do the same or even buy 5naira biscuits for my family who lived in the same state as us then. Whenever I discussed the issue with him and tell him to adjust, he will either beat me or insult me or overdo the character which I asked him to amend. He thought my life depended on the marriage and I wasn't gonna quit. Yes, I behaved as if my life depended on it but it wasn't my fault, I gave my all and wanted my marriage to work.
When the marriage crashed he was quick to move on.
Now that I am a branch manager, he is telling everyone including pastors to beg me and preach sermons that make me feel guilty.
They are telling me I have an unforgiving spirit and that my ex-husband is known to be generous to the public.
Does the bible say we should go back to our pain or dwell in hell on earth?

What you should be more bothered about now is making sure you can achieve your DDA and targets.You know theres a pandemic now, Management won't hear any excuse on the reason you couldn't even measure up to your target by half year appraisal.
Meanwhile as for the Marriage, don't let anyone guilt trip you, you have left the marriage and that's the end. You don't need a man of God's view on this I mean this is common sense. Let's learn to separate religion from reality. Pastor is just talking his own, that's what he is paid to do. If he keeps perstering your, change to another sister branch..Take care of your kids, love your life and if opportunity presents itself, you can take another shot at marriage. It's not so bad after all it's just that some spouses no be am. Cheers

Find out how coronavirus can enter body through eye.
https://12worldview..com/2020/05/coronavirus-can-enter-body-through-eyes.html

When you vow for better for worst on the altar you are smiling, when you are enjoying for better no one hears from you now that is worst you start making noise and excuses why you quits,
Ask you parent especially your Mom she may pass hell more than you. is unfair for those that are supporting the woman, pls hear from the man side of story.

deolaarc:


You cant come here and expect to get the best advice.
You need to talk to older couple that has been together for a long time.
Forget pastors here.

Hey I saw your private dm. I don't know how the reply stuff works. Whatsup

Zaronxpanol:
Thanks all for your comments.
On a serious note, I need a bible scholar or a religious leader to read my story and advise me in this scenario. Because it seems I am the one been painted as a black sheep. My ex-husband has an innocent face and he is good at gaining public sympathy and pretending.

you don't need any bible scholar, God gave you brain, use it!

Godsonjolly:

When ur husband was beating you, where was the pastor? When u left, where was the pastor? For the fact that you got promoted, God doesn't want you to suffer. Just take good care of ursef. I'll advise you follow your mind, use ur head and not ur heart. Most importantly, pray to God for direction cos I doubt if ur husband will change or even ready for a change. Don't go to hell when u already in heaven.. Success

If her husband was abusive, that would have been the thing this woman would have hinged her divorce. She only mentioned this in lassing, most likely meaning that the one place she said her husband beat her was a lie.

This woman is being economical with the truth, she is tired with a broke man who is her husband and wants out.

The husband is an ass, quite insensitive, but nothing they couldnt resolve.

Dont believe these woman totally..

Davidoff2000:


If her husband was abusive, that would have been the thing this woman would have hinged her divorce. She only mentioned this in lassing, most likely meaning that the one place she said her husband beat her was a lie.

This woman is being economical with the truth, she is tired with a broke man who is her husband and wants out.

The husband is an ass, quite insensitive, but nothing they couldnt resolve.

Dont believe these woman totally..

Hmm. Perhaps we should hear from the man.

Zaronxpanol:
Thanks all for your comments.
On a serious note, I need a bible scholar or a religious leader to read my story and advise me in this scenario. Because it seems I am the one been painted as a black sheep. My ex-husband has an innocent face and he is good at gaining public sympathy and pretending.

most spiritual leaders have marital problems too.they will never tell anyone.you see their marriages as perfect,but they are dying in silence.they cant solve their own problems is it yours they will solve?

Zaronxpanol:
Thanks all for your comments.
On a serious note, I need a bible scholar or a religious leader to read my story and advise me in this scenario. Because it seems I am the one been painted as a black sheep. My ex-husband has an innocent face and he is good at gaining public sympathy and pretending.

madam please try to forgive him for the sake of the love that once existed and the kid (if any). it's not easy to lose one's wife. please ignore all those asking u to move on.

It would be necessary to hear your husband's side of the story too. But the two of you share the blame equally.

For a marriage to work, both partners must contribute to its success with mutual respect, understanding, sacrifice and patience.

Perhaps, these were lacking in your marriage at some point.
Madam, the truth is that you disrespect your husband and he felt less of a man. The easiest way to reduce a man to rag is to disrespect him. No man can stand a disrespectful wife.

You described your husband as a man with a large heart. How was it like for both of you at the onset of your marriage? That means that there is something making him act the way he does at home or most likely, you don't know or understand the man you got married to.

He started beating you with the hope it will get you to accord him his due respect.
If you are not ready to respect him, forget the idea of going back.

Ask yourself, what exactly would be the reasons why you want to go back. Have the factors that drove you apart been addressed conclusively?
Answer these questions sincerely and decide if it's worth another chance.

Forget pastors abeg. What is God telling you? Pay attention to His voice...
Peace be with you

For the sake of heaven, your children and your happiness. Try to forgive and go back to him but with different approach and agreement that he will change and take all responsibilities in the house and you MUSt stop spending your money even on yourself. Rely totally on him for everything until you are convince he has change. There is no crime in leaving him again if you discover he don't want to change.

Zaronxpanol:
Thanks all for your comments.
On a serious note, I need a bible scholar or a religious leader to read my story and advise me in this scenario. Because it seems I am the one been painted as a black sheep. My ex-husband has an innocent face and he is good at gaining public sympathy and pretending.

leave the church. the church cannot dictate what you want.

Slurity:
For the sake of heaven, your children and your happiness. Try to forgive and go back to him but with different approach and agreement that he will change and take all responsibilities in the house and you MUSt stop spending your money even on yourself. Rely totally on him for everything until you are convince he has change. There is no crime in leaving him again if you discover he don't want to change.

you are evil

NobleDeSage001:
It would be necessary to hear your husband's side of the story too. But the two of you share the blame equally.

For a marriage to work, both partners must contribute to its success with mutual respect, understanding, sacrifice and patience.

Perhaps, these were lacking in your marriage at some point.
Madam, the truth is that you disrespect your husband and he felt less of a man. The easiest way to reduce a man to rag is to disrespect him. No man can stand a disrespectful wife.

You described your husband as a man with a large heart. How was it like for both of you at the onset of your marriage? That means that there is something making him act the way he does at home or most likely, you don't know or understand the man you got married to.

He started beating you with the hope it will get you to accord him his due respect.
If you are not ready to respect him, forget the idea of going back.

Ask yourself, what exactly would be the reasons why you want to go back. Have the factors that drove you apart been addressed conclusively?
Answer these questions sincerely and decide if it's worth another chance.

Forget pastors abeg. What is God telling you? Pay attention to His voice...
Peace be with you

so wh does the husband want her disrespectful ass back. Granted we should hear his story. but for a woman to call a marriage hell. it must have been hell.

Eyeness:
you are evil

You are holy

Is that the only church in the world? Look for another church or parish and start attending.Keep your mind open for a new relationship.

Zaronxpanol:
I went to hell and back in my former marriage. My pastor keeps preaching on forgiveness and people are saying I am bitter and unforgiving. Nobody walked in my shoes in that marriage. My ex-husband acted all nice to people in our church and in public places but when he turns to me he is very hostile and unbothered towards my needs, our kids, and my family.
He loves people bringing their problems for him to solve and gets angry when he is not called to help outside people or render eye service help. While our concern at home didn't mean anything to him. I paid my children school fees and paid for groceries while under the same roof with this man. He always acted nice whenever he wanted sex, or in need of a favor from me because as a banker my salary was twice his salary as a Lecturer. But I didn't complain. My major challenge with him was that he was sharing his salary with the public and while I was spending my money within the family.

I fly to his family bi-monthly with gifts even though they live far away in another state without my husband motivating me to do so. My ex-husband won't do the same or even buy 5naira biscuits for my family who lived in the same state as us then. Whenever I discussed the issue with him and tell him to adjust, he will either beat me or insult me or overdo the character which I asked him to amend. He thought my life depended on the marriage and I wasn't gonna quit. Yes, I behaved as if my life depended on it but it wasn't my fault, I gave my all and wanted my marriage to work.
When the marriage crashed he was quick to move on.
Now that I am a branch manager, he is telling everyone including pastors to beg me and preach sermons that make me feel guilty.
They are telling me I have an unforgiving spirit and that my ex-husband is known to be generous to the public.
Does the bible say we should go back to our pain or dwell in hell on earth?

Eyeness:
so wh does the husband want her disrespectful ass back. Granted we should hear his story. but for a woman to call a marriage hell. it must have been hell.

but for a woman to call a marriage hell. it must have been hell
This is exactly my point. What reasons could she give to support the idea of a reunion?

I understand how you feel, since is your husband and the Bible warns against divorce, maybe you should gather your pastor and few workers as a witness that if he eventually beat you, you will pack out of the house finally for good.

Kestolove:
So who is fvcking u currently?

Too vulgar

ojuu4u:




did u read to understand that the ex hubby is a lecturer?

And Lecturers are not broke?

Progress2468:


And Lecturers are not broke?

Go and become armed robber now, since you are woman rapper. At least you will be able to satisfy all ur woman demands.

Progress2468:


And Lecturers are not broke?

You have comprehension issues, go back and re-read what the comment (last paragraph precisely bf my quote)


Anyway you can become armed robber or ritualist, since you are woman rapper. At least you will be able to satisfy all ur woman demands.

He's right

You can go back if you cannot reason by yourself. I know a Pastor who poisoned a man's heart against his fiancee when she was brought to Church for Introduction.
He said he should marry someone from the Church whom he can see how she serves God truly. He started a sort of matchmaking but the Pastor's sister's fiance lived abroad before he came down for the wedding.
He foolishly gilted her fiancee and got someone in the Church, the marriage didn't last for a year. Then they will settle again. Their children are victims of broken homes now while Pastor's sister is still happily married.

ojuu4u:


You have comprehension issues, go back and re-read what the comment (last paragraph precisely bf my quote)


Anyway you can become armed robber or ritualist, since you are woman rapper. At least you will be able to satisfy all ur woman demands.

Ok. Bye