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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) (62530 Views)
Is This Family Right To Demand For The Whole Money? / Help I'm Loosing My Mind / Please Advice Me On My Family Issue (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Ope88(f): 8:27am On May 17, 2020 |
femi4:Where he is from is no longer a village, he cut ties with his family for a long time, I don't know if he can remember his frends, he doesn't remember much anymore, but he still recognizes his children.. 1 Like |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Ope88(f): 8:29am On May 17, 2020 |
cybriz82: We were Helpless, we had lots of pending issues, u really don't know we are going thru emotionally... I hope we find my dad that's what we are particular about now.... |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Sososo(f): 8:32am On May 17, 2020 |
I think paying him a visit from time to time will go a long way |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Ishilove: 8:59am On May 17, 2020 |
Collegenews:Use the same energy to advice yourself so that you will rise above mediocrity. 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Ope88(f): 9:37am On May 17, 2020 |
Sososo: We do, but I personally don't go often, cos I hate drama, my mum is so dramatic, my sister who visits him often usually returns sad, cos my mu has high expectation of her and because Dat is not met, she starts saying all manner of things to her which gave my brother the guts to beat her up, dats not even the thing bothering me now, but having my father found..... 4 Likes |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Ope88(f): 9:38am On May 17, 2020 |
I don't know if I can post his pictures here to aid his search, he was last seen in Ikorodu, Itamagha |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Sososo(f): 9:46am On May 17, 2020 |
Ope88:how about renting a place for him no matter how small cause he needs to be happy in his old age. He can't suffer to raise you guys and still suffer at this time when you are all grown.you can also bring him over to your place if your husband is okay with it and mum doesn't react. |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Amazing007(m): 10:02am On May 17, 2020 |
Ope88: I know one in Ikorodu & there's another am sure of @ Iwaya , close to Q.C... Queens college |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Ope88(f): 10:06am On May 17, 2020 |
Sososo: We are looking at this possibility when he is found.... |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Amazing007(m): 10:11am On May 17, 2020 |
monopolistic: Sure but I don't wana derail from the main issue & on someone's thread , we Took him to an old home , he ran away & was missed for days , only to surface @ his balcony .. he will violently charge @ anybody who wanted taking him out of his house , so I think they left him , i wasn't in lagos then , he refused taking drugs & so on , he died March 2020. 2 Likes |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by famousNdee(m): 11:24am On May 17, 2020 |
I always say this a lot. Religion has fvck up a lot of us here in Africa. I can relate to what the op is a saying. Your father is a bipolar disorder patient, all that man need is just a medical intervention. If u are in Lagos here I can refer you to yaba. 5 Likes |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Ope88(f): 11:44am On May 17, 2020 |
famousNdee: I'll get back to you when he is found, I hope he can still be treated at 70.....he was 70 in March. 1 Like |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Amazing007(m): 12:26pm On May 17, 2020 |
Ope88: My Uncle was same age too , I pray he's found &very soon 1 Like |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by PeacenLove2: 12:46pm On May 17, 2020 |
OP, so sorry about your situation. I can't imagine how you're feeling right now. There are several issues that need to be addressed here I think. First, your father must be found and I hope you do find him alive and well enough. When he is found, he needs medical attention, psychiatry is very essential. Your mother as someone mentioned is not only a religious fanatic, she appears to be narcissistic. Unfortunately, you cannot help them. The more you try to talk to them about their ways, the harder they come for you because they see it as a challenge. Leave her alone. Your brother is a victim of poor parenting and unfortunately, he has become in my opinion a sociopath. It is almost impossible for parents like yours not to raise a child like him. It's very unusual that they have children like you and your other sisters if you guys don't have the similar pattern of behaviour. Avoid your brother like a plague to avoid confrontations. The boy obviously has some serious issues, God help him. It all boils down to what you have control over. You can't control the outcomes of your mother and brother but there is hope to see your father live the rest of his life in peace. Also, your mother and brother cannot be allowed to sit on your father's properties. If it's not safe for him to return there when he returns, get lawyers involved and have that place leased or something. The proceed can be used to care for your father. Of course leave a flat or so for your mom and brother. Two narcissists cannot live together for long, they will soon find that out and the situation will take care of itself. It's always a matter of time. Lastly, if you find it in your heart, pray for eveyone even your sadistic family members. Believe me we are all victims of our experiences. Some of us are just lucky or blessed to come out better than we are set up. God help you. 22 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by nautybride: 12:52pm On May 17, 2020 |
elektra: I am okay. Help how? Was he 26years when they were all together? No. The foundation was faulty and they were together at the beginning. They watched their mother pamper him and he got wings that could not be clipped after they all left. Of course, they will eventually marry. Is it only ones parents that gets to train a child? No. So, madam some of us think wider than others. Personally, I have had my parents send our last born to me when I saw he was academically poor and near spoilt, I helped re-set him and sent him back to them. Thank God, he is a better person now. BTW, I am more concerned about the missing grandfather than a dry fish that can't be bent. Don't get me wrong too. A child can be properly trained and will still choose to go rogue. 1 Like |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Pearl05(f): 12:52pm On May 17, 2020 |
Firstly your sister's husband ought to arrest that brother of yours for battering his wife and kids. Keep searching your your father, when he returns one of you( daughters) should take him in and live with him, the one that has more space in her home either rich or not. It's just additional mouth to feed. About the house, it depends on your tribe. Igbos hardly give females inheritance except for the very rich and enlightened one. But for your story plot, I guess that you are yoruba; if this is true then once your dad is of sound mind again let him get a lawyer and pen down his will. 5 Likes |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Spanishmilf(m): 1:15pm On May 17, 2020 |
PrimadonnaO:AFRICANs and prayer what has prayer gat to do with this?? SMH She needs solution urgently u are saying Prayer Chai 13 Likes |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by easyflex: 1:17pm On May 17, 2020 |
Ope88: Your father most likely has Alzheimer's Disease. It's a type of Dementia. A progressive disease that destroys memory and other important mental functions. If and when he is found, he needs to be institutionalized in Elderly home or kept in a place he can't wander off. I hate to tell you that this disease is not curable and will only get worse with time, so plan for this eventuality. I join you in praying for him to be found. 9 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Ope88(f): 1:21pm On May 17, 2020 |
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Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Ope88(f): 1:22pm On May 17, 2020 |
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Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Ope88(f): 1:24pm On May 17, 2020 |
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Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by PrimadonnaO(f): 1:29pm On May 17, 2020 |
Spanishmilf: Non-African, go on. Give her a foolproof solution that will fix everything. You think this life is a joke. 4 Likes |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Ope88(f): 1:31pm On May 17, 2020 |
Beautiful people, he has been found.... Badly beaten and bruised....from what my mum told me.... I'll get back to u all on this. 9 Likes |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by frozen70(f): 1:33pm On May 17, 2020 |
Ope88: Sorry for the whole embarrassment Report port your dad as a lost person to the police and hopefully he would be found He has been tormented by your mum and brother so it's affecting him psychologically When you find him, get a room apartment far away from your mum and brother let him find a woman to be friends with and from there he will start living normal If your father has any property, put it on sale and use the proceed and start something doing for him Back out from your mum and brother let them deal with them selves The three of you with your sisters should join hands together to raise your father Let no one except the three of you know where he is staying If you guys can't get accommodation, let him stay with one of you until his senses are back The three of you will share the cost of rehabilitating him |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Gloriagee(f): 1:34pm On May 17, 2020 |
Thank God. So relieved on your behalf. .. So, what are you guys gonna do to prevent a reoccurrence? Ope88: |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by cococandy(f): 1:38pm On May 17, 2020 |
I feel sad for your dad. He might need bigger help than what you and your siblings can provide by yourselves. He needs formal mental illness diagnosis so that appropriate treatment can commence. Glad you found him. And you’re right he shouldn’t live with your mom and brother anymore. 4 Likes |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Gloriagee(f): 1:41pm On May 17, 2020 |
@ Op - Pardon my saying this but Your mum's issues were not caused by the church cos if they were She'd get along with people in the church. She may have experienced something in her past that made her that way but if she was aligned with the church, how come she had issues with church people? Tradition and extreme religion are oftentimes people's excuses to behave badly and blame it on some force beyond them. For instance, Okonkwo in Things Fall Apart was warned by Traditional Elders - that boy calls you father, do not have a hand in his death. Next thing, he still killed Ikemefuna, Was that the fault of tradition or the fault of Okonkwo's fear of being a failure as a man that propelled him to kill a boy he bonded with more than his son? 6 Likes |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Themarkethere: 2:02pm On May 17, 2020 |
nautybride:Did you consider the perculiarity of the Op's situation or you are using your experience to measure hers? Did you recall the part where their mum was always putting them down before the brother? Has it not occurred yet to you that their mum will even torture anyone of them that dare to correct their brother? something she deliberately refused to do. Do you also not know that from when their brother entered puberty, chances are that he also gained physical strength to beat his older sisters? Ope88, your sister's husband didn't try for her to allow your brother go free like that, seems he is not financially strong, but even at that, he should have marked his territory. Op, you guys should take your father away from that environment and get a lawyer, see how he can sell his properties except the one your mother is staying. Use the money for business or empower any of you girls not doing so well so that you girls can take good care of your dad. It is the best you can give your dad and yourselves now because I can't see the energy to fight your brother after your dad's demise and your husbands may not want to involve themselves. You also need to sell the properties with your dad's approval now, because next person you brother will try to send to early grave is your mum and she will run to you girls for help. 17 Likes |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Spanishmilf(m): 2:32pm On May 17, 2020 |
PrimadonnaO:We still have a long way to go i n Africa 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by bencarson007(m): 2:52pm On May 17, 2020 |
Ope88: Take my advice almost similar to the one given by someone up there. Use SARS and get your brother and mom arrested and let them tell you where your dad is. Meanwhile, while they are in detention, go to your dad's place and check for the house papers and you and your sisters sell it off sharply. Rent a place for your dad or take him to an hospice to live out the rest of his days in peace because trust me your mom and brother will kill him eventually. Let your brother and mom go back and start from square one... Rubbish 5 Likes |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by Sososo(f): 3:22pm On May 17, 2020 |
Ope88:ok fine at least that should assauage the situation |
Re: Please Help Look Into This Family Issue (I'm Loosing My Mind) by brownemmanuel43(m): 3:22pm On May 17, 2020 |
Your dad cannot go to his people bcs he abandoned them. That's why Nigerian women are not ripe to be given to power. All this shit started from when they were dating, your father gave room to all this shit. I will advice, as somebody suggested u pay some soldiers 5k, your brother's case is settled. Yours mum: U all should use rope on her, bcs this is now a case of dog eat dog, survival series. Apply force on your mum 1 Like 1 Share |
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