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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? (32454 Views)
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Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by abbey621(m): 11:31pm On May 19, 2020 |
omonnakoda: There is o, for example, you ever heard your child call uncles/aunties by name? Ever heard your child shout back at you and say 'I HATE YOU'? Ever seen a child that you fully take care of, schooling, feeding and so on, yet same child calls the cops on you because you gave him or her a konk on the head for bad behavior? African parenting is that old school parenting that has kept Africans in check for generations now(Lowest tobacco use, lowest drug abuse, lowest violence against parents/family members), unfortunately it is dying with each passing day because these new school parents have been brainwashed to believe love is freedom and freedom is love. 3 Likes |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by omonnakoda: 11:35pm On May 19, 2020 |
abbey621: How old are you? |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by babatee90(m): 11:36pm On May 19, 2020 |
Always believing they are right, only their opinion matters and they never apologise when it’s obvious they’re wrong 2 Likes |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by hayoholla(m): 11:38pm On May 19, 2020 |
What African parent fails to understand is that you, as a parent can claim you love your child (ren). Unfortunately, this type of love is too selfish. Being too overly assertive and possessive is not love. As parent, it is not enough to pay your wards school fees, it's not even about being strict or being principled. Rather,it is more of seeing things from the perspective of your children. They are individuals too, growing up in a demanding society that is unforgiving and hostile. You don't want to put pressure on them, else they crack. Some are lucky, while some are not, result of which we witness in today's society. Each child's threshold to psychology stress is different. It can make or Mar such child, if car isn't taken. That being said, i want us to know that their isn't one way method set in stone for raising a child. That's one other mistake, we parents make. Each child has, his or her own strenghts and weak point. The psychological fabric of a child is too tender to toy with. It is very dangerous! Another, is a child will only be willing to unravel him/herself to you as a parent( depending on the relationship between the child and the parent) You can't force it! But you can allow it to happen by building a healthy relationship with your children. The kind of parenting we have is the kind of society we are experiencing. Parenting is the most difficult job in the world! 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by kiddkash(m): 11:40pm On May 19, 2020 |
Lionessza6:i don't believe they're treated as kings. parents feel the soft works/ indoor should be done by female while the outdoor / heavy duties should be performed by males. like my community, female sweep the compound and wash dishes while the male, wash the cars, go to farm, fetch firewood, break them learn how to defend themselves and others. e.g female sweep around the farm while the male cut down trees, clear the forest and go hunting 4 Likes |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by OJURONGBE1(m): 11:43pm On May 19, 2020 |
There's nothing wrong about African parenting. I was raised by morally upright and Christian parents who instilled in me so many fruits of the spirit though i had my own fair share of youthful exuberance like stealing money from their wallets, ran away from church services to play video games and all but my parents never spared the rod when you err and they always showered encomiums when you make them proud. My parents, two middle aged people who loved each other so deeply that when one fall sick ,the other would be crying and we (children) usually make fun of them. Till date there are some responsibilities like laundry, cooking and cleaning i don't delegate and I don't eat out too. I learnt that from my parents. Make God bless me so i go fit build a house for them, buy my father his dream Ford F150 and a trip to Stamford bridge to watch his darling Chelsea fc play. 9 Likes |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by kiddkash(m): 11:51pm On May 19, 2020 |
Amanee:when you think about it, it hurts. but it was necessary even though you feel you didn't need the discipline. look at America where parents don't discipline their kids. all they tell them is 'you are grounded'. what kind of English is that grounded. it doesn't exist in Nigerian parents dictionary. which is why every week you hear of school shooting in America because the children weren't disciplined and punished when they were younger. as an African child, you fear and love your parent but white kids only love their parents. that fear needs to be instilled in the kids. if you don't believe me, come to Ghana and see how spoiled kids are. they don't even greet their parents good morning or say thank you. this things don't happen in Nigeria. you may hate it, think it is too extreme but it is necessary. someone has to be the bad guy in order to get things done. Men are willing to be that bad guy which is why kids love heir mothers more 4 Likes |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by hayoholla(m): 11:53pm On May 19, 2020 |
Yonce: It's not about Western influence ma'am. You are the one making the comparison here. No society is totally immaculate in concept and ideologies. Its what you and I experienced while growing up. |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by hayoholla(m): 12:02am On May 20, 2020 |
kiddkash: You are mixing things up, and this what African parent do too. Moral values need to be taught and need to be understood by the children. You don't just throw it at them . Children are unrefined and naive. You mold them to not what you want them to be, but what they need to be. This is by making them take responsibility, not by forcing it on them, but by making them see reasons why they need to, to make them better and responsible person. |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by saajus: 12:07am On May 20, 2020 |
Too much demands/responsibilities from female children while raising a bunch of irresponsible male children. Any little mistake from Kemi in the kitchen, her mother will say "is that how you will be cooking for your husband". It is very wrong. I've never heard any parents tell their male children when they misbehave "is that how you will be treating your Queen when you marry". There are a lot of great things that could come out of female children beyond marriage. We need to stop sending that myopic message to our female children that they are being built for one man. Let's build them for society and the world in entirety. Beating/flogging does not work. If it worked, our society won't be like this. Our politicians were beating too when they are young, but that did not stop them from being heartless. Forcing religion on children boxes their creativity. That's why the likes of Marie Curie, Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton may not come from this part of the world in the future. Why can't Parents create open-minded kids? If you are Christian, you can tell them why they should be Christians not to force them. Show them proofs that the stories of the Bible truly happened. There are a lot of archaeological, physical proofs in Israel, Greece, Egypt to support that. But, let your home be filled with different books of spirituality. As a Christian, we assume the kids are Christians because they follow us to Church by force. We fail to let them know why they should be Christians, so once they step out of home, maybe to Uni or out of the country, they forget all the years of Church training. Our parents should give children the chance to ask questions. If you ask any Oyibo kids not to do sth, the first thing he/she will ask you is "why". African Parents will say "shut up, don't talk when I'm talking". Every invention in this world come from that simple 3 letters "why". Why can't human fly, why can't human go underwater, why can't human float, why do we always come down when we jump up, etc The way our Parents teach sex education is bad. Some parents won't even talk about it. Teach your kids abstinence, let them know all the reasons in the world to wait but also stylishly teach them how to wear a condom and what "morning-after pill" is. Almost everything is wrong with our style of parenting. Look at our society and you will discover I am saying the truth. Our President, Senators, Governors, People behind subsidy scam, Boko Haram, fake Pastors, fake Imams didn't fall from the trees. 10 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by abbey621(m): 12:08am On May 20, 2020 |
omonnakoda: Mid 30s 1 Like |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by kiddkash(m): 12:12am On May 20, 2020 |
hayoholla:I have been a child. Children don't think there are consequences to actions. it's an intuition that need to be corrected not pampered. I went to a missionary school (it was like half military, half seminary) at night, we scaled the fence to go watch football, eat out or play video games. we were talked to, but we still did it. our manager Rev. Fr. Vitus Mbamalu knew kids are stubborn and example has to be made to deter others. he punished us severely. I hated him then, and felt he was wicked. but now I understand it was for our own good. because one of us could have been kidnapped, killed, suffer serious bodily harm, ran over by a car. but as kids, we always wanted to do what they said we shouldn't do. He had to be the bad guy. I thank him for it today because I was a kid. even though I made great memories with friends still it was bad 5 Likes |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by alphaRego01(m): 12:24am On May 20, 2020 |
Virtually everything |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by smiliyB(f): 12:25am On May 20, 2020 |
abbey621:I can agree to that part but then they should learn to stop pestering their kids too...like when are you getting married, I have you seen the man/woman, and be praying day and night for that spouse to land overnight. They should allow it to occur naturally, since they decided to follow that principle. My friend's mom was telling her to keep searching for job but not to forget the husband part. Lol, my mom is not different too even though her own isn't much tho. My cousin bro, Hahahaha his own dey another level. All these things can make someone make mistake in choosing a spouse to spend his/her life with. 1 Like |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by alphajerus(m): 12:32am On May 20, 2020 |
Military and dictatorial type of parenting. Do what i say, dont ask questions, argue or even suggest anything. you know nothing kid we your parents know it all.. My opinion sha. 2 Likes |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by smiliyB(f): 12:34am On May 20, 2020 |
saajus:well said, especially that part...is it how you do this and that for your husband...as if that's the only thing women came to the world to do. It's even making many ladies to end up with those they don't love just to answer that name "Mrs". Family is good but having it with the right person is the best. The shut up part..Lol, only God can save us ooo...Anyway the new generations are trying with that part, kids ask questions these day. 4 Likes |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by frog12: 12:48am On May 20, 2020 |
flogging teaches you many things. you become stronger and more morally prepared |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by DeAlphaMale(m): 1:02am On May 20, 2020 |
There's nothing i hate more than the western way of child parenting... Parents being so soft that their children even talk back at them with harsh words.. African parenting system has its flaws but with type of natural potential dimwits we are.. i really think that the African system suits us well... but frankly in all honesty the best parenting system I've envisioned is that of the Asians, a bit of African and western... Balanced 4 Likes |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by sulaak(m): 1:08am On May 20, 2020 |
Christthesaviour: African parents use force and fear to educate their children at the expense of love and understanding. 1 Like |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by Yonce(f): 1:28am On May 20, 2020 |
hayoholla: I didn't make it about Western influence, the person I was replying did. I just don't like the way most millennial parents are raising their kids, (It's none of my buisness tho) because they're largely influenced by the western culture. While there's a good majority of ideas to take from these white people, I don't think their form of parenting is one of them. 1 Like |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by Yonce(f): 1:31am On May 20, 2020 |
DeAlphaMale: Asian parents are involved in their children's life in totality. They don't encourage slacking and are quick to put you in line. They embody the tough love troupe 1000% 1 Like |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by nunnu: 1:36am On May 20, 2020 |
crackland: EVEN AT THAT, THEY WILL STILL COMPLAIN THAT YOU INDULGED THEM TOO MUCH THAT WAS WHY THE ENDED UP USELESS. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by emeh5(m): 1:38am On May 20, 2020 |
30% Discount for the first 10 people
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Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by HarryDuce(m): 1:43am On May 20, 2020 |
kiddkash:How did you come up with the bold? It's incredibly naive to assume they don't discipline their kids because they don't use whips on their children or because of a few school shooters among millions. Children are humans not goats. Laying down house rules applicable in every sphere with consequences if such rules are broken is important. What about other countries in the world? Europe? Asia? I'm not speaking against spanking your children because it'll be a waste of time. But the politians who steal, the business men that carry out corrupt practices, the law enforcement that harasses citizens, the citizen that litters, the public figures who speak against the inventions of the west as "immoral" or "satanic" but turn around to use such inventions not long after were not spared the rod as children. 2 Likes |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by paul100(m): 1:51am On May 20, 2020 |
American parent:Ella what gift did your boyfriend get you for your birthday. Ella response:He got me lots of chocolates,candy and a beautiful necklace.I love my prince charming. Parents:We are so happy for you baby.(They called her and hug her) Nigerian Parent:Ella,hope no boy is giving you anything or telling you sweet things.I don't want to see any boy around you.Boys are wicked ooo.Close that your legs well oo,don't say i did not warn you. Ella response:Okay mummy. Note:Ella is 12yes old today I love African parents sha in some aspects they are trying ![]() 1 Like |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by Nova1988(m): 2:08am On May 20, 2020 |
Welcome to Africa/Nigeria ![]() Where all parents graduate at the top of their class or as we say it carry first position ![]() 1 Like |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by AreaFada2: 2:25am On May 20, 2020 |
crackland:Fact! Every generation complains about the previous. We become more conservative as we grow older. Due to more life experience, being more cautious, taking roots, raising kids and preferring stability and security instead of adventure and new exciting things. Culture and values only very gradually evolve. I now value things parents said back then that looked like just bugging me. We need a careful balance between discipline and being relaxed, between scolding (only when really necessary) and listening, between expectation/pushing and praising their efforts. We need to realise all kids are not same: emotionally, intellectually and personality wise. We must be flexible and adjust as needed. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by Boss13: 2:27am On May 20, 2020 |
ukaface: Yes because they are more experience than their children. Only in fewer cases they may be wrong. You can blame your parents for a lot of things until you have children you will NEVER understand what is means to be a parent. Some children dont have parents and some parents have abandoned their responsibilities. If you have parents actively in your life, providing for you, advising, scolding and catching your bills. Shut the hell up and be grateful. 1 Like |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by Nobody: 2:47am On May 20, 2020 |
Don't buy it |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by bjgurl(f): 2:54am On May 20, 2020 |
Not every African parents there are exception e.g my always stands to be corrected, but my dad hell no, but yay I always state my POV and most cases he doesn't have a choice than to flow with me. |
Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by Mira4Ashawo(f): 3:05am On May 20, 2020 |
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Re: What Do You Think Is Wrong With African Style Of Parenting? by Mira4Ashawo(f): 3:09am On May 20, 2020 |
[s]> Mizwisdom:[/s] |
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