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Mizwisdom:



Number 1, is not general, maybe your tribe which I suspect is Igbo.

African parenting is the best, it trains for future. Our problem is that we are fast losing our original, African parenting style

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Lionessza6:
1.I think a lot African parents ( mothers in particular), tend to treat their sons as mini-kings who can do no wrong in their eyes. This is where the culture of Male entitlement starts from; the upbringing. The boys grow up with a sense of superiority that somehow absolves them of certain responsibilities.

2. Staying in toxic relationships for the children. In many cases,the children end-up worse off psychologically ,than kids coming out of two healthy parents living separately.

3. The "if Kevin can do it ,you can do it too ".mentality. you have a lot of parents who see the neighbour's kid doing well selling bread ,& they start pushing their own children towards that trade or career without assisting them in what they are really good at so that they too can be a shining example in their own right. You see the results of this in many African markets ,everyone sells the samethings ,hardly will you find people who produce the products or selling something that is not readily available.

Very true. No 2 got me and I blame it on financial dependency esp on the woman's part, she can't walk away from an abusive marriage because of the financial security gotten from the marriage.


I hate it when I hear, I stayed because of my children, can't blame dem much, some men won't marry daughters from a broken home. Sad

African parents don't understand children's privacy. The will never knock before they enter your room. So far you're still living with them, they can enter your room at any time

lichocho:
Very good ooo..no be white people wey dia pikin go de shout for dem like say dem be mate...I remember d say I try shout for my mama,d look d woman give me alone format my brain..

There are a lot of flaws in the way a good number of Africans raise their kids

herich:
Don't mind those fools, if their parents had given them freewill as they desired, most of them would have lost, long time ago.
The same whites that has early sex education are still maintaining the headquarter of divorcée, baby mamas, early child drug abuse, child molestation, high rate of single mothers.

You dont know what you are talking about

Lotusflowerbomb:
Verbally abusive, narcissistic, controlling, overprotective and manipulative. That's how best to describe some of them.

You just described most Nigerian parents.

Most Nigerian parents are very abusive. If I had a say in the matter, I will never come into this world through Nigerian parents. Shikena!

Guys I bet you !! If you come here in the US u will kneel down and thank God . The kids here lacks discipline ,no respect ,delinquent and out of control and this is due to the aiding and abating of their laws. The kids knows this and are exploiting it.

Some of you here that think that the discipline we received is abuse will have a heart attack and or commit suicide if you are here in the US training up kids .

Everyone wants his or her child to be better than him if not to be at least independent but here the kids dont listen to their parents ,kicks you out of her /his room when u try to reprimand him call police when u tried to discipline him. All you do is to tell him he is "grounded ". Kids will leave school and there is noting u can do. I fact Africans here in the US is appreciated when it comes to respect . My kids kept winning the best behaved students in their school and you here the older Americans saying " where did we go wrong ?" In child up bringing. So when I was growing up I thought it was punishment but believe me me it made me who I am today .

chuksbogus2001:
Guys I bet you !! If you come here in the US u will kneel down and thank God . The kids here lacks discipline ,no respect ,delinquent and out of control and this is due to the aiding and abating of their laws. The kids knows this and are exploiting it.

Some of you here that think that the discipline we received is abuse will have a heart attack and or commit suicide if you are here in the US training up kids .

Everyone wants his or her child to be better than him if not to be at least independent but here the kids dont listen to their parents ,kicks you out of her /his room when u try to reprimand him call police when u tried to discipline him. All you do is to tell him he is "grounded ". Kids will leave school and there is noting u can do. I fact Africans here in the US is appreciated when it comes to respect . My kids kept winning the best behaved students in their school and you here the older Americans saying " where did we go wrong ?" In child up bringing. So when I was growing up I thought it was punishment but believe me me it made me who I am today .

There is something fundamentally faulty with MANY MANY aspects of african way of parenting

I'm not in any way making comparison with anywhere else
I am making specific reference to African parents and parenting


Even in America, there are many many well behaved and cultured kids who did not have to get whipped or rough handled in the African sense to be behaved

Is there a crisis of delinquency in the USA?
Sure there is

But so is it in Nigeria and everywhere else

In my opinion, single parenthood dealt a decisive blow on child upbringing in the USA, as in my personal experience, most most delinquent kids come from single parent (especially black) homes.


Being a good role model to your kids (which let's be Frank, many Africans are NOT) ; and NOT letting any bad behaviour slide in my opinion are the key ingredients to better parenting, and it works ANYWHERE in the world

However, being a complacent ans patronising parent is the recipe for disaster ANYWHERE in the world.

Christthesaviour:
Good morning guys

What do you think is wrong about the Nigerian/African style of parenting?

To me, I think Nigerian/African parenting is the best but African parents think they are always right even when they falsely accuse you which I don't think is right.

What else do you guys think? Let's discuss.

European/ first world parenting is best. African parents always love to feel entitled to the fact they bore,feed,clothe and educate their children. Who asked African parents to birth? Konji...not the poor child. So African parents should man up to their responsibility and stop demanding appreciation from innocent kids.

dasparrow:
Most Nigerian parents are very abusive. If I had a say in the matter, I will never come into this world through Nigerian parents. Shikena!

They actually are


I think some reform here and there is in order though

The African way is not a write off 100%
Reform and adjustment is needed

saajus:
Too much demands/responsibilities from female children while raising a bunch of irresponsible male children. Any little mistake from Kemi in the kitchen, "is that how you will be cooking for your husband". It is very wrong. I've never heard any parents tell their male children when they misbehave "is that how you will be treating your Queen when you marry". There are a lot of great things that could come out of female children beyond marriage. We need to stop sending that myopic message to our female children that they are being built for one man. Let's build them for society and the world in entirety.

Beating/flogging does not work. If it worked, our society won't be like this. Our politicians were beating too when they are young, but that did not stop them from being heartless.

Our parents should give children the chance to ask questions. If you ask any Oyibo kids not to do sth, the first thing he/she will tell you is "why". African Parents will say "shut up, don't talk when I'm talking". Every invention in this world come from that simple 3 letters "why". Why can't human fly, why can't human go underwater, why can't human float, why do we always come down when we jump up, etc

The way our Parents teach sex education is bad. Some parents won't even talk about it. Teach your kids abstinence, let them know all the reasons in the world to wait but also stylishly teach them how to wear a condom and what "morning-after pill" is.

Almost everything is wrong with our style of parenting. Look at our society and you will discover I am saying the truth. Our President, Senators, Governors, People behind subsidy scam, Boko Haram, fake Pastors, fake Imams didn't fall from the trees.

Personally, I believe that has been the issue with most Nigerian parenting, the absence of a questioning culture. I believe people should question whatever anyone says or concept. That way, everyone gets to understand why it is so and can move forward. The nature of not questioning things is why we have wanton criminals at the helms of affairs of which if they get questioned, people are up in arms asking why they should be questioned. Overall, compared to Asian parents, the major problem with African parenting style is that after these tutelage, Africans became poorer. It is of no use training someone yet the person is poor.

Parenting is not an automated action.
Those things we call error might have been the ones that shaped us.

I had many uncles around while I was little
(it was like 4-5 pillars of parenting/beating/scolding etc)
All their actions kept me on shore.

A child's mind is the devils workshop(but sometimes, it might be good to gradually ease up as the child grows, which might eventually back fire)
Na for the pikin to know they are only trying as they know it

.

Lionessza6:
1.I think a lot African parents ( mothers in particular), tend to treat their sons as mini-kings who can do no wrong in their eyes. This is where the culture of Male entitlement starts from; the upbringing. The boys grow up with a sense of superiority that somehow absolves them of certain responsibilities.

2. Staying in toxic relationships for the children. In many cases,the children end-up worse off psychologically ,than kids coming out of two healthy parents living separately.

3. The "if Kevin can do it ,you can do it too ".mentality. you have a lot of parents who see the neighbour's kid doing well selling bread ,& they start pushing their own children towards that trade or career without assisting them in what they are really good at so that they too can be a shining example in their own right. You see the results of this in many African markets ,everyone sells the samethings ,hardly will you find people who produce the products or selling something that is not readily available.

It's a pride for our mother's to have male child for their husband, therefore we should be treated as one.

Goan ask yul

Everything Is Wrong With African Parenting Style

Craigbrown4076:
Very interesting topic I must say.

I see people coming on here to criticize the Western way of upbringing. The truth is ours is even worse. And this is glaringly evident in our respective societies.

Do not allow Western media to deceive you, while the modern parents are complacent, the truant behavior exhibited by children is simply as a result of weak parenting, which also applies to us here.

Let me ask, how many people in our Nigerian society actual possess good "morals"?

You complain about homosexuality being the order of the day in the Western world. It is the same here, only difference is that we don't have laws promoting their existence.

Sadly, our society cannot be compared to that of the Western world and parenting has a large role to play with that.

All the beatings and corporal punishment in school has not amounted to anything profitable.


I could go on...

God Bless You For These Jare

1. They always feel that everything they do is 100% correct and can't make mistakes.

2. Giving sex education talk with their children is hard for them, they rather go to jail than do that .


And so many others...

abbey621:


There is o, for example, you ever heard your child call uncles/aunties by name? Ever heard your child shout back at you and say 'I HATE YOU'? Ever seen a child that you fully take care of, schooling, feeding and so on, yet same child calls the cops on you because you gave him or her a konk on the head for bad behavior?

African parenting is that old school parenting that has kept Africans in check for generations now(Lowest tobacco use, lowest drug abuse, lowest violence against parents/family members), unfortunately it is dying with each passing day because these new school parents have been brainwashed to believe love is freedom and freedom is love.

hahahahaha are you sure you are living in africa?? more than 50% of nigerian youth now use hard drug. upon all the beating we still have one of the highest criminality rate in the world. i could go on....

Lotusflowerbomb:
Verbally abusive, narcissistic, controlling, overprotective and manipulative. That's how best to describe some of them.

They would hurt you, even when you're a grown ass adult, yet expect you to grovel at their feet in the name of forgiveness. Common amongst Yoruba parents.

Deicide:
Imagine telling a kid that "Tell me the truth I wouldn't beat you" the child end up telling the truth and you as an African parent beat black and blue out of the child. The kid trusted you and you let him/her down, do you know what stuff like that does to a child emotionally and psychologically? The child can't trust his own parents how does that child trust other people?

Even school teachers and principals do this.

Nigerians are self conceited ignorant barons of incompetence

paul100:
American parent:Ella what gift did your boyfriend get you for your birthday.
Ella response:He got me lots of chocolates,candy and a beautiful necklace.I love my prince charming.
Parents:We are so happy for you baby.(They called her and hug her)
Nigerian Parent:Ella,hope no boy is giving you anything or telling you sweet things.I don't want to see any boy around you.Boys are wicked ooo.Close that your legs well oo,don't say i did not warn you.
Ella response:Okay mummy.
Note:Ella is 12yes old today
I love African parents sha in some aspects they are trying.Nobody are perfect.

But do you know Nigeria Ella probably got things from boys for her birthday too but will rather lie about it to her parents

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POOR. F9


Just the discipline and provision part that are still top notch.

Boss13:


Yes because they are more experience than their children. Only in fewer cases they may be wrong. You can blame your parents for a lot of things until you have children you will NEVER understand what is means to be a parent.

Some children dont have parents and some parents have abandoned their responsibilities. If you have parents actively in your life, providing for you, advising, scolding and catching your bills. Shut the hell up and be grateful.

why the transfer of aggression, oga?
A question was asked, and I answered,so what's the outburst for?
Better calm down

Wetin be African style of parenting. What other style of parenting do we have and which style of parenting is the best

Amanee:
Everything abeg


From the forceful religion to the heavy discipline to maiming of dreams to the ignorance...

I keep praying that I never raise my child the way I was raised

Amanee which religion are u into? Just curious

Mizwisdom:



Number 1, is not general, maybe your tribe which I suspect is Igbo.

African parenting is the best, it trains for future. Our problem is that we are fast losing our original, African parenting style

Pretend you have sense tribal bigot.

Nigerian parenting is far from the best. The country is a result of the values of habits of those who raise children, remember that when you next make such outlandish claims OP.

People who lack self-respect and self-discipline cannot be expected to teach such to their children and that is the case with the average Nigerian.

If they possessed such traits they wouldn't put themselves in disadvantageous situations (by having too many children) and then justify all manner of evil to get themselves out of the situation.

Christthesaviour:
Good morning guys

What do you think is wrong about the Nigerian/African style of parenting?

To me, I think Nigerian/African parenting is the best but African parents think they are always right even when they falsely accuse you which I don't think is right.

What else do you guys think? Let's discuss.

Nothing is wrong