bamidelee:

I can father you

You didn't get my point, I was only saying that it was one of the attitude's of African mother.

Not generally. Let me ask you, did your mother do same? cos mine and the peeps who grew around me didn't. So maybe some tribes but even my Igbo neighbors didn't do that so maybe mainly around the poor

[s]

Mizwisdom:



Not generally. Let me ask you, did your mother do same? cos mine and the peeps who grew around me didn't. So maybe some tribes but even my Igbo neighbors didn't do that so maybe mainly around the poor

[/s]

Perfectbeing:
Can someone open a thread on "What do you think is wrong with the American (Western style) of parenting?" too

This will also be an interesting topic to discuss
Its good ti compare and contrast

jadyclem:

To me, the African style (nigerian style) of parenting is the best. It teaches the kids values, respect, discipline, tradition etc. In fact, they let you understand as a child that life is in stages and in life there is hierarchy. One very important thing that good African parenting teaches most kids is that there is a consequence for every action - whether good or bad.

Compare how our society was back in the days when parents weren't that lax in bringing up their kids and now where there's a great nonchalance in parenting as a result of copy copy, you would see that kids back in the days grew up with more values, respect, ambition, etc, than kids of this present generation. Our society seem to be failing because parents are losing their influence on their kids because of lax parenting style. We want to be seen as progressive so we seem to be copying the parenting style of the developed world that is not even working out for them.
You've heard of kids over there talking back at their parents, calling cops on their parents and doing many sort of wild things that's making their parents feel helpless and frustrated. Come and try such nonsense with an African parents and see what will happen to you.The parents are the porters with the responsibility to mould their kids (clay) into fine shapes (responsible adults) and when the clay stay resisting the good intention of the porter and the porter seem helpless in making the clay conform, there's bound to be a serious problem.

Our society is getting more f**ked up and morality, responsibility and accountability are on a huge decline because our parenting style is getting more relaxed. African parents need to wake up and go back to status quo. Listen to your kids and sometimes respect their opinions but always make them understand that you're the boss for now and make them understand what's up.

A good parent will always seek to give the child the best and mould the child to be the best and those are some of the things the African parenting style has shown. So to me, the African style of parenting is the best and if we must shape the lives of our kids into responsible adults, we must stick with the style of parenting that's working for us and stop copying the style of parenting abroad that is not even working out for them.

In the 1950s/1960s
The western world was also having more kids that were well raised and responsible as well...

The global degenerate values we see today could be to blame for declining values


There are A LOT OF THINGS WRONG with the way A typical African parent raise his kids


If you look at the Western or Oriental way
You will also see A GOOD NUMBER OF ELEMENTS you better NOT imbibe In your kids


It's all about balance and being a responsible parent (which I daresay that many African parents are not responsible)

passionate87:
African parents over flog their children,these end up psychologically traumatized them

Well said

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3lulxEZd_k
a throwback to Nollywood movie Egg of life cast THEN and NOW. Please like and subscribe

Christthesaviour:
Good morning guys

What do you think is wrong about the Nigerian/African style of parenting?

To me, I think Nigerian/African parenting is the best but African parents think they are always right even when they falsely accuse you which I don't think is right.

What else do you guys think? Let's discuss.

It breaks my heart to read many comments here about their upbringings. Mine wasn't perfect as well, but I'm grateful to God that I've both of my parents as they are, and my Mum and Dad are someone I look up to in some aspects of life.

I'll urge anyone reading this to never let the experiences of the past ruin the best you can give to the coming generations. They count on your love, support and kindness to thrive in the world. None of this should define the love you give to your children.

I try to put myself in the shoes of some commenters with terrible experiences, it was very sad. I wish I could meet everyone of you in person that went through a heavy trauma in their upbringing and let them know that they are loved.

I experience a fair share of beating at school, tutorials and co, and it was really be rough. My mantra now is to love and respect every human being regardless of class, race, ethnicity, religion or gender. Am I perfect? no, but I'm working daily to be the best version of myself and I'll do this till I breathe my last.

Let us endeavor to do better than the generations behind us, so that our beloved country Nigeria will be a place to live in.

The reflection of a society is shown in the lives of the present generation of children. For those who can still politely correct their parent for their errors, please let us do these in love, no matter how stubborn they may be. It may be just one word or actions that will spark a new beginning that we all cherish. Let us never relent on this.

Like some people rightly said, parenting is a tough job and I'm of the opinion that it is even harder in the 21st century that we are in, with some many things happening in the society. It is the job of the parent to morally form the life of the child in spite of the many moral decay of the society, and this should be done with love, discipline and respect. Parent and children should both tend to love and embrace each other weaknesses. Seek forgiveness where there is wrong and learn to balance life in mutual self giving.

As a Christian and a man, I hold these thoughts in high regard and I know I'll be judged on the last day on how how I manage (with my potential spouse) our household.

Please, let us not fail the coming generations, they count on us to give them the best life that there is, regardless of what the past may be.

God loves you!

rawfact:


Haba! You're not abusing a politician, this is your own parent o! Even some white folks raised in the west (despite their bastardized culture, particularly in the last century) don't just have regards but also possess some form of piety for their parents.

While emboldened expression might not be hard to say to a random guy on the street; to utter such to one parent(s), speaks volume of the unruliness/rebellion running through one's mind and heart. Well, pray you don't receive such from your kids in the future because nothing send parents to an early grave other than children that suddenly turn bastards.

you're a fool if you still think cos someone brought you to this world means they Lord over you. face front and cough your advice like Corona to the people on the other side, it's not needed here.

packman:
The style still remains the best style...
Can't have my child arrest me...
Never

Bro..pls ur link isn't working

Mizwisdom:



Not generally. Let me ask you, did your mother do same? cos mine and the peeps who grew around me didn't. So maybe some tribes but even my Igbo neighbors didn't do that so maybe mainly around the poor

Your tribe differs from my tribe, I can only speak for my tribe.
Pele

bamidelee:

Your tribe differs from my tribe, I can only speak for my tribe.
Pele

I'm asking you because I'm familiar with your tribe. In your tribe whoever is the only one of a particular gender is pampered so there's nothing you can tell me about your tribe I don't know I don't notice any difference infact you accord respect based on order of birth. So wetin you wan talk? if you have an elder sister is it not "Anti mi" you will call her? you wanna compare that to what happens in the east? abeg go siddan

[s]

Mizwisdom:


I'm asking you because I'm familiar with your tribe. In your tribe whoever is the only one of a particular gender is pampered so there's nothing you can tell me about your tribe I don't know

[/s]

Lionessza6:
1.I think a lot African parents ( mothers in particular), tend to treat their sons as mini-kings who can do no wrong in their eyes. This is where the culture of Male entitlement starts from; the upbringing. The boys grow up with a sense of superiority that somehow absolves them of certain responsibilities.

2. Staying in toxic relationships for the children. In many cases,the children end-up worse off psychologically ,than kids coming out of two healthy parents living separately.

3. The "if Kevin can do it ,you can do it too ".mentality. you have a lot of parents who see the neighbour's kid doing well selling bread ,& they start pushing their own children towards that trade or career without assisting them in what they are really good at so that they too can be a shining example in their own right. You see the results of this in many African markets ,everyone sells the samethings ,hardly will you find people who produce the products or selling something that is not readily available.

your brain they function well abeg.

Christthesaviour:
Good morning guys

What do you think is wrong about the Nigerian/African style of parenting?

To me, I think [b][/b] Nigerian/African parenting is the best but African parents think they are always right even when they falsely accuse you which I don't think is right.

What else do you guys think? Let's discuss.

I disagree with this ignorant assertion.

scott04:

hahahahaha are you sure you are living in africa?? more than 50% of nigerian youth now use hard drug. upon all the beating we still have one of the highest criminality rate in the world. i could go on....

Come on let's not pull statistics out of our ass! Do you have real evidence to support your statement?

smiliyB:
I can agree to that part but then they should learn to stop pestering their kids too...like when are you getting married, I have you seen the man/woman, and be praying day and night for that spouse to land overnight. They should allow it to occur naturally, since they decided to follow that principle. My friend's mom was telling her to keep searching for job but not to forget the husband part. Lol, my mom is not different too even though her own isn't much tho. My cousin bro, Hahahaha his own dey another level. All these things can make someone make mistake in choosing a spouse to spend his/her life with.

I still see it as love, the most annoying people in your live are usually the ones who loves you the most. Living overseas, I've seen kids move out at 18 and their parents check up on them maybe once or twice a year, this leaves room for rogue behaviors. I guess in everything we should avoid overdoing it....A mother asking when will her daughter get married is asking so out of love and fear. As a caring mother she must act accordingly but as a fearful mother she knows time is very short and she wants to hold her grandkids....Surely this kind of a pest is forgivable?

ayoola27:
Bro..pls ur link isn't working

please this is it here.... https:///fsrtio

babyfaceafrica:
Has its advantages and disadvantages......

I am literally interested to know the advantages, do you mind mentioning them?

themaestro08:


I am literally interested to know the advantages, do you mind mentioning them?

Experience.

Mizwisdom:


I'm asking you because I'm familiar with your tribe. In your tribe whoever is the only one of a particular gender is pampered so there's nothing you can tell me about your tribe I don't know I don't notice any difference infact you accord respect based on order of birth. So wetin you wan talk? if you have an elder sister is it not "Anti mi" you will call her? you wanna compare that to what happens in the east? abeg go siddan

Is this your research topic? If yes, print your questionnaire hit the street.
I won't stoop so low to your level.

DexterousOne:


In the 1950s/1960s
The western world was also having more kids that were well raised and responsible as well...

The global degenerate values we see today could be to blame for declining values


There are A LOT OF THINGS WRONG with the way A typical African parent raise his kids


If you look at the Western or Oriental way
You will also see A GOOD NUMBER OF ELEMENTS you better NOT imbibe In your kids


It's all about balance and being a responsible parent (which I daresay that many African parents are not responsible)

Remember I used the word 'good parents '. Every good parents must do whatever it takes to ensure that their kids grow up to become responsible adults. One major aspects of African parenting style that I think should be curtailed a little bit is correcting a kid with anger and excessive beating. We should all know when discipline intended for correction has turned to an abuse. Dat's one of the major drawbacks of African parenting style to me that should be adjusted. Most of the other things the good African parents do to bring up their kids are ok by me. Besides, every parent has a very short time to influence their kids positively before they turn into adults, so one need to do whatever it would take to ensure that the kids turnout better than the parents.

bamidelee:
Is this your research topic? If yes, print your questionnaire hit the street. I won't stoop so low to your level.

Lol tell me you don't call your elder sister "Anti mi"

Going through this thread, you'd agree with me that one thing is clear. Many are of the opinion that African parents are not always right. Shouldn't they be cautioned/criticised/scolded when their opinion is counter-productive to our personal lives as their children?

Cc Nuel4

[s]

Mizwisdom:



Lol tell me you don't call your elder sister "Anti mi"

[/s]

abbey621:


Come on let's not pull statistics out of our ass! Do you have real evidence to support your statement?

look around you our politicians,yahoo,million boys, police turned beggars,sars,army,marlians and cultist everywhere are all enough evidence to show that everything is wrong with our style of parenting. the baba of all is poverty mentality and low self esteem installed in us by our parents. they also dont encourage creativity.........

naija4life247:


Child Abuse is Oyinbo's phrase of encouraging indiscipline among toddlers. If Bobrisky parents had use igbati, ifoti, iforun, igbaju, igbati, igbarun, igbadi, iladi and other models of brain resetting slaps as at when due, we won't have a nuisance like that in our society like these useless White pigs.

Imagine going home, to tell your parents that you are gay. Two to three ifotis and igbajus, your brain will reset.

@everything including the hormones will go back to default configuration.

jadyclem:

Remember I used the word 'good parents '. Every good parents must do whatever it takes to ensure that their kids grow up to become responsible adults. One major aspects of African parenting style that I think should be curtailed a little bit is correcting a kid with anger and excessive beating. We should all know when discipline intended for correction has turned to an abuse. Dat's one of the major drawbacks of African parenting style to me that should be adjusted. Most of the other things the good African parents do to bring up their kids are ok by me. Besides, every parent has a very short time to influence their kids positively before they turn into adults, so one need to do whatever it would take to ensure that the kids turnout better than the parents.

Tho there are other aspects I dont agree with when it comes to "African parenting"
I have to say that you are making a valid point


At the end of the day........
Some reform is what is needed
Not a complete throwaway

Am I the only one whose parents did not treat the sons as 'mini-kings'? My younger bro, a man in his 30s will pick a broom and sweep the entire house if he comes visiting and meets the house in disarray. He cooks, he cleans, he baths 3 times daily or even more. That doesn't sound like a man who was treated like a king by his parents so I wonder where this generalisation is coming from

abbey621:


There is o, for example, you ever heard your child call uncles/aunties by name? Ever heard your child shout back at you and say 'I HATE YOU'? Ever seen a child that you fully take care of, schooling, feeding and so on, yet same child calls the cops on you because you gave him or her a konk on the head for bad behavior?

African parenting is that old school parenting that has kept Africans in check for generations now(Lowest tobacco use, lowest drug abuse, lowest violence against parents/family members), unfortunately it is dying with each passing day because these new school parents have been brainwashed to believe love is freedom and freedom is love.

Do you know anyone who called the cops on their parents? I don't. Nigerians repeat this story over and over again like it is a normal occurrence abroad but when you ask them if they know anyone, they don't. I was having the same discussion with someone a few weeks ago and asked this question and he said that a Nigerian dad married to a white lady had problems because he kicked his two-year-old so I asked if the 2-year-old-son was the one to call the cops. And why would anyone kick a toddler in the first place?

I saw the responses you were given and how you asked for statistics so maybe you should lead by example and give us the statistics of children abroad calling the cops.

afroxyz:
Yet the Europeans you guys are trying to emulate have high rate of divorce which has ripple effects on parenting exemplified by delinquency, single mamahood, gangs, drugs etc. Why? Because the average European thinks for himself and not the group or community which is what African values are about. Just like the Asians, we put the situate individual happiness within the context of the job or community. This is what our parenting teaches us. I am.nor wholly in support of some aspects of African parenting, but I would chose it anyway over that of the europeans. Got to Briton and see how a 13-year old would be insulting his parents and still call the cops on them. And youexpect that sort if person to be a responsible parent. Hell no!

Is this why nothing works in Nigeria?

chuksbogus2001:
Guys I bet you !! If you come here in the US u will kneel down and thank God . The kids here lacks discipline ,no respect ,delinquent and out of control and this is due to the aiding and abating of their laws. The kids knows this and are exploiting it.

Some of you here that think that the discipline we received is abuse will have a heart attack and or commit suicide if you are here in the US training up kids .

Everyone wants his or her child to be better than him if not to be at least independent but here the kids dont listen to their parents ,kicks you out of her /his room when u try to reprimand him call police when u tried to discipline him. All you do is to tell him he is "grounded ". Kids will leave school and there is noting u can do. I fact Africans here in the US is appreciated when it comes to respect . My kids kept winning the best behaved students in their school and you here the older Americans saying " where did we go wrong ?" In child up bringing. So when I was growing up I thought it was punishment but believe me me it made me who I am today .

Maybe if you stop surrounding yourself with deplorable people, you will see that it is not the case in most families.

Yonce:



Asian parents are involved in their children's life in totality.
They don't encourage slacking and are quick to put you in line. They embody the tough love troupe 1000%

Yeah most likely but not on the majority aspect... Just as in Africa or Nigerian precisely some parents are not the drilling type and end up raising weaklings and spoilt kids