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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met (76287 Views)
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Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by LilMissFavvy(f): 3:39am On May 21, 2020 |
Don't Sue him now, wait till you are fully independent/financially buoyant before you sue him. Also, after you sue him, you will be totally alienated and hated by your family, ARE YOU READY FOR THESE? You will need emotional support, as you would be emotionally shattered, you will need some open arms to fall into cuz no man Is an island, so maybe you should consider suing him after marriage. One thing is certain, and it's the fact that he will definitely open up with the use of force, since he has rejected the peaceful measures you used. vikkimimi: 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Ohizman73(m): 7:27am On May 21, 2020 |
I really felt your heart ,which quite a number of people can't fell on your agitations.so unfortunate as this is a case of deep rooted causes.How people can because of their actions jeolopadize peoples lives. Both your dad and your real mum.first reading all the treads your case is complicated and so you have to tread softly , cautious and remain focused.so as not to compound the issue and fall victim to another different scheme entirely.already you have been distraught and withdrawn from social life. Even finding love is difficult for you.had it been you learnt earlier on before you moved out of your dads house. You would have searched for some records and clues to assist your search. Studying your dad he is a person that would take the secret of your mum to his grave.then that your distant relative is your only hope. But you hahave to act fast what if the person also dies. You alone cannot be involved in this puzzle , time, energy and resources have to be spent.there has to be tracing of your dads geneology and place of origin etc.and you have to provide some facts that would assist in your search.or else you should forget.it is like you are looking for a pin in a haystack.without vital facts from you the case is a dead end even the best private investigators here in Nigeria whold run into a brick wall and keep on deceiving you and run your resources.if you have some vital facts that would assist.you can contact me and I would do my possible best.the first question I would ask do you have proof your mum is alive.or part of the investigation is to find out.cheers. 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by adebayour26: 7:29am On May 21, 2020 |
Victornezzar:Smart move 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by purplecoco(f): 7:37am On May 21, 2020 |
Wow, this is sad. I hope you find your mother. Don’t you have any other relatives from the Family that could help? Someone you could trust to tell you about her 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Godlovesyou28: 7:49am On May 21, 2020 |
LilMissFavvy: I am not super rich but comfortable and can handle legal fees. Marriage is not an option for me because I made up my mind as a child that I will never marry. I don't want to digress from the point, I just want to say that I don't need any open arms except my real mothers own and can handle the financial burden. I am already an alien in my family so no sweat. 33 Likes |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Godlovesyou28: 8:00am On May 21, 2020 |
Ohizman73: I have been to my village twice (my grandpa's burial and sisters traditional wedding)since I was born and we never spent up to 48hours on both visit. We were also lucked up in my dads house (especially me), we only come out supervised and closely watched since my dad say everyone there is a witch or wizard. Come to think about it; I should trace that village. Please are you private investigator? If yes please may I know how you can assist and the financial implications. 19 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Godlovesyou28: 8:11am On May 21, 2020 |
purplecoco: I know my dads brothers and sisters (I have been calling them on phone)but they keep saying I should go back to my parents and get the answer from them... They also keep asking how I knew; and I tell them its just how am being treated to protect the identity of the person that told me. 37 Likes |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Godlovesyou28: 8:23am On May 21, 2020 |
purplecoco: Non unfortunately, my dad's relatives where not allowed to visit(I have never met most of them and the ones I met on Facebook don't really care). but my mums relative Come around a lot to our house but all live off my mum; they don't never liked me. 3 Likes |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by crackland: 8:26am On May 21, 2020 |
How is suing your dad even going to help your situation? Your dad can simply claim your biological mother is late...and she might even be so, considering how she never tried to look for you or contact you in any way possible. If she's alive, and something serious went wrong between her and your father...that should not have stopped her from trying to get in touch with you somehow, even through legal means. There's no court (customary or civil) that will completely alienate a child from the biological mother. There must be something very serious that kept her away and the fact that your birth certificate names your step-mum as your biological mum says a lot. 26 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by purplecoco(f): 8:36am On May 21, 2020 |
Godlovesyou28:They seem to know so much and won’t tell you, but I’ll suggest you do this search hunt on your own. It might sound scary, but you have to be strong and alert. I’m sorry you have to go through this. Don’t give up yet 26 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Godlovesyou28: 11:08am On May 21, 2020 |
purplecoco: Thanks 5 Likes |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Mariangeles(f): 11:18am On May 21, 2020 |
Godlovesyou28: Be careful not to lose everything. Remember, you don't know what your biological mum is like or if she's worth risking everything for. At least, you have a roof over your head and a family to call your own. Give the search all you've got without doing irreconcilable damage, after that, you let go and let God. 47 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Mariangeles(f): 11:25am On May 21, 2020 |
Godlovesyou28: If you have older siblings, it explains it to an extent; you might have been a product of infidelity on the part of your dad, your stepmother accepted you and took it out all on you. 20 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Mariangeles(f): 11:26am On May 21, 2020 |
Godlovesyou28: Did your father ask you who the revealer was? 1 Like |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Mariangeles(f): 11:31am On May 21, 2020 |
aeion: I don't think she's wicked, otherwise she'd have told and reminded her countless times that she's not her mother and for her to go look for her real mother. Besides, she was likely cheated on. 13 Likes |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Godlovesyou28: 11:50am On May 21, 2020 |
Mariangeles: Yes, but didn't tell him anything. 1 Like |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Godlovesyou28: 11:52am On May 21, 2020 |
Mariangeles: I was told by the person that my real mum's dowry was paid and returned afterwards. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Mariangeles(f): 11:58am On May 21, 2020 |
Godlovesyou28: Everything will be fine. Try not to be too desperate okay? As it is detrimental to your overall health. Trust in God and have faith, things will work out eventually. All your years of hurt will be healed. 13 Likes |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Nobody: 12:06pm On May 21, 2020 |
I will advise that u let it be for now. Be independent, even marry( then they will see you as no threat) then advertise it on Facebook or Twitter. U are using emotions instead of your head and emotions don't solve problems. Also, bear in mind that u may not like what u will see at the end of the tunnel though. That's why I said u have to be emotionally attached to someone first. It will be even better if u have a kid before embarking on such journey. 67 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Godlovesyou28: 12:09pm On May 21, 2020 |
Mariangeles: It would have been better if she told me; not telling me robbed me of all my rights... She talked me out of many open doors because I thought I was being given motherly advise; I can't fully explain the scope of how I had to start fending for myself early while my siblings where all sent to the US for studies. I started making progress when I stopped telling her my plans. I have nothing against her and am thankful to her for making me very resilient but finding my mum is important to me. 117 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Godlovesyou28: 12:23pm On May 21, 2020 |
[/U are using emotions instead of your head and emotions don't solve problems. Also, bear in mind that u may not like what u will see at the end of the tunnel though] A friend told me that maybe the person I am looking for doesn't want to be found? You won't understand how I feel if your not in my shoes. I just need closure. If I sue my dad and step mum, and demand DNA tests since they both claim my step mum is my real mum; the court will compel them to submit themselves to DNA testing. When the results come out negative everyone will start talking. I think its the best option for me now. 17 Likes |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Godlovesyou28: 12:28pm On May 21, 2020 |
A friend told me that maybe the person(my real mum) I am looking for doesn't want to be found? You won't understand how I feel if your not in my shoes. I just need closure. If I sue my dad and step mum, and demand DNA tests to be conducted to determine if she is really my mum since they both claim my step mum is my real mum; the court will compel her to submit herself to DNA testing. When the results come out negative everyone will start talking. I need to act fast now they are stuck in Nigeria. I think its the best option for me now. 11 Likes |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by madampresident(f): 12:54pm On May 21, 2020 |
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Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by LilMissFavvy(f): 2:38pm On May 21, 2020 |
I just took time to read your thread and responses, I must confess that I am touched. I observe you even spoke well of the parents who treated you badly at childhood, it shows you have a good heart, thanks be to God that you came out of it. I don't know if you have engaged in a legal battle before, talkless of a type like this, it is not a joke, especially with the outcome, it is you versus your entire family. Believe me you need emotional backup, lest you will break down on the long run, already i saw where you mentioned talking about ''committing suicide'', hope you are not a type that sees suicide as an option, hope it was just a mere threat. I have seen a little case of family legal issues, it is not easy, be careful. Fact is, WHATEVER IS THE MEANS THROUGH WHICH YOU ENTERED THIS WORLD, YOUR DAD OWES YOU A DUTY OF TELLING YOU WHO YOUR MUM IS, IT IS YOUR RIGHT. Since you claim to have explored all available avenues to find out the truth, I advise you try spiritual means, we still have few prophets who can see the past, and speak the truth. I don't mean native doctors or satanic agents. If the spiritual route fails, then you can go ahead using the courts. By the time your parents are threatened with a compulsory DNA, they will speak the truth without waiting to carry it out. You said you do not want to marry, is it a personal decision? Or is this decision as a result of the hurts and trauma? If it's the former, fine, but if it's the latter, I advise you open your heart for love. Godlovesyou28: 31 Likes |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Karleb(m): 2:59pm On May 21, 2020 |
When you find her, what're you going to do? Huh! She left you. She didn't care for you, didn't nurture you and all. Forget her! She doesn't worth all the tears and stress. Besides, she should be the one looking for you. 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Ohizman73(m): 3:38pm On May 21, 2020 |
Godlovesyou28:I asked a simple question do you have proof that your real mum you are searching for is alive.or part of the mystery involved is to also find that.these are two things entirely.As the matter involved is very tactical. Without you relating some critical information the case would run into a brick wall.then since your dad and the person who told you are the only persons involved vital information about them is essential. So as to make extensive research behind their backs. Without all these information no amount of resources put in the search would yield any result.then you have to be willing to spare Man hours travelling together to identify some crucial landmarks.from studying the reads it is like your people never want you to find your real mum in the first place. Then if you as you have discovered such. They have also prepared that they would frustrate all your said efforts. And go at any length to protect their interests to the last. And it seems your dad is power and rich that he is feared. That is why his relatives refer you back to him.it would be exciting and challenging getting to the root of your matter.as to why your mother knowingly she had a child somewhere and not make even secret attempts behind your dads back to contact you.even much later.there must be some answers.but you have to be composed , relaxed and brace up . Trying to sue your dad and step mum would frustrate you the more. Which y intend. You have to camouflage yourself and pretend you are not interested again in the issue.then cautiously get to the root point.they know you are on your own, with no headway.were you not the one who said your siblings have ganged up against you. 20 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Saintmary(f): 5:01pm On May 21, 2020 |
Godlovesyou28:Try to find out the people present at the ceremony, ask the relative who opened up to you to refer you to someone who can talk, do you mean there is no one in your family who can stand up to your Dad. If you continue to keep quiet, you won't find out the truth which is convenient for both your Dad and step mom. 4 Likes |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Saintmary(f): 5:14pm On May 21, 2020 |
Godlovesyou28:Since your Dad hates the spotlight seeing as he asked you not to put his name on your death note. Pay for a page on a popular newspaper, display his information and picture, display your baby pics, and your info too, include dates, and locations, ask the woman who married him and had a child with him to come forward. Be as emotional as possible. Some of her relatives or friends might help you out. Pay for subsequent publications you can afford. Your Dad will forgive you at last. 39 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Godlovesyou28: 5:29pm On May 21, 2020 |
LilMissFavvy: Thanks for taking the time to read. It doesn't make any difference if am isolated or not by my family because I have thrived without them. My decision to be single is personal; marriage is not for everyone. 33 Likes |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by loveyou123: 5:29pm On May 21, 2020 |
if your mother really care about you, why didn't she come for you all this years[b] |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Godlovesyou28: 5:35pm On May 21, 2020 |
Karleb: I can't bring myself to forget her, and you can't be sure she abandoned me until you hear her own side of the story. I deserve the right to know. 69 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Please Help: How Do You Find A Mother You Have Never Met by Godlovesyou28: 5:46pm On May 21, 2020 |
Ohizman73: I have no idea whether she is dead or a life and intend to find out. My siblings fear me more than I fear them; their only weapon against me is hate and my weapon against them is forgiveness and resolve - they know I never quit anything I start until I conclude it. I have weighed all my options and the court is my best option. 31 Likes 3 Shares |
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