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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? (78264 Views)
How Do I Break Up With Her? / Do I Break Up With Him? / How Do I Break Up With Her In A Polite Manner? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by YBMB(m): 11:20pm On May 21, 2020 |
No sense Millenniumlady: |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Danielkupiejo: 11:20pm On May 21, 2020 |
Never judge or condemn someone that you don't know what he is going through, she will say things at her favor, before you judge listen to the guys point of view 1st. Youre a man, if youre not from a wealthy family you would understand how things are for strugglers and for d federal job, he has his reasons for turning d job down so don't judge him. We have every right to live the way we want, we lose or gain all fall on us. She wants d guy to start business because of herself, because she wants to be respected with class, has she considered the guys family too. he owns a car, will the guy not fuel the car, will the guy not eat , she said na 2k he dey give her u go see say d guy sef dey calculate. No judge her na her mind she dey talk she no wan reason wit wot d guy is passing tru Bcox she grow up poor. VictorBode: 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by benjijosh(m): 11:21pm On May 21, 2020 |
jagaban002: You are wrong. Ambitious people don't do illegal things to make money. They want to be respected for what they have worked hard for. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Evercurious(f): 11:23pm On May 21, 2020 |
Starz825: I appreciate your response.. Very wise 1 Like |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Myhusband(m): 11:23pm On May 21, 2020 |
chigoizie7: don't get it twisted bro, any man that want to grow must have a very focus and ambitious lady as partner. I won't lie this affect me a lot because I've no one to ginger me my second degree for example couldn't happened on time because my gf tried to discourage me which I did later without her notice. some partner are lazy intellectually, as a human you can never be contented with your present position hence you won't move forward in life The Op just need to redress her manner of approaches and understand different between suggestion and opinions. she was giving opinions which is wrong, what she should have done is to suggest, like bring out ideas. Op's bf is a true African man, let Op seek a redress in her approaches, I foreseen turnaround 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by chigoizie7(m): 11:24pm On May 21, 2020 |
Acmepreneur: Then nothing stops you from making the money yourself, you are human with both hands and legs intact, make use of it. If you want a billion dollar life, work for it. That is what your family believes, you are holding your family’s doctrines up. But it will be so selfish of you to ignore his own personal doctrines of being contented they way things are going for him. 7 Likes |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Alaganature(m): 11:24pm On May 21, 2020 |
Millenniumlady: Mumu Nah your type Dem dey used for blood money.. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Dollabiz: 11:25pm On May 21, 2020 |
pls do |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by oshaosha2014(m): 11:26pm On May 21, 2020 |
She’s working according to the expectations of the family and society. Go out there and find another man. There are women out there looking for his type. padi94: 1 Like |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Slynation(m): 11:27pm On May 21, 2020 |
africandictator:You have said it all, Op used pattern to justify herself by saying she has dreams, ambitions yen yen yen..... but has already mapped out plans of marriage 2021 as deadline.... So i keep wondering what type of ambition comes after marriage apart from making babies.... Observing things from her bossy and egocentric write up, I think she's the one with the problems here even tho her BF ain't maximizing the availabilities of current opportunities 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by toks1610(m): 11:27pm On May 21, 2020 |
Buzz me let's talk about this situation you are in 07067484230 [Qquote author=Acmepreneur post=89791962]This my guy is not serious at all. I used to tell myself change is the only permanent thing in life bla bla bla. And I really believe that once you take the right steps, you can be anything you want to be. This made me to be very soft with people. When I started dating my Boyfriend, I really was not choosy or judgy. I accepted him without a second thought. I'm not the type of lady that actually do all those lady stuff, I'm a very serious person and I don't play games at all. My BF is very cool, like not bad looking, normal behaviour etc and I like him a lot. I'm a very ambitious person, with an extremely big dreams, my boyfriend is also hard working, but I'm not seeing any future at all with his career/prospects/life. When I say I'm with big dreams, it's means I'm working on discovering (new innovations), planning big business that would compete with top brands etc. I'm that big in dreams. My children is also very important to me, I don't plan for their sufferings at all. I'm an introvert, I find solace in my aspirations, dreams. I have books I work out those formulas (I mean how I would execute my business plans), I research a lot, think a lot etc Our fight now Since day 1, I do tell him to do this and that. I really hate company works, so I would tell him to have savings, and be building something sideways where he works. Also, I wanted him to do Masters, since he said he would love to travel out, he's always saying he hates Nigeria bla bla bla. His dad also wanted him to do Masters, but he's in the crew of Masters is a waste of time, and he can't do Masters in Nigeria bla bla bla Baby try this business, he would say he doesn't have money, he needs 2 million to start a business etc. Meanwhile, he doesn't have money to travel out of the country to do Masters, nor 2m to start any business. So I would tell him to manage what he has first, and that would propelled him later, but he likes to talk like illiterates that Masters is meaningless. Meanwhile, while that is true, those things are just like investment, you don't know when you will see an opportunity to use your Masters certificate, and since he studied computer science, I told him that it can even help him get a job outside Nigeria when he leaves, that it can be useful there. I understand the situation of the country, but not having masters doesn't mean you will get a job as well, so why don't you just have it. My bf would shut me off, and also his dad, the dad even asked him to take job at the federal university where he works, but my bf said he can't work in that place, this is a federal government job o, he would say the salary is too small and people there already knows him, because his dad is in a big office in the university. So it won't seem like I'm disturbing him, I went quiet, but might chip it in in discussions, but I don't fight him on those things. He works in a small company, and he rose to the position of a Manager, he spent all his time in office, the little time to waste with his friends. It's a good thing but I'm not comfortable with that, the pay is about 90k, which is not enough for his expenses, also he's the first born. Fast forward to last year, his dad died, it looks like a film trick to him, he now have to take care of his siblings and mum (mum is nurse, but retired long time ago, her pay is little because it wasn't normal retirement). Everything I was telling him finally came to pass. He rented an apartment with His friends, he later hated it, and said he wants his own, he went to rent an apartment of 600k (he gathered it from different places and he borrowed), which I really hate and we fought on that as well. Because he could have used the money to secure his life in a better way, since his complain when I told him to start a business is that he doesn't have money bla bla bla He will not apply for better jobs as well He's practically doing nothing to grow, and would say he hates Nigeria and he would like to leave, but he can't even apply for scholarships or even google schools. So this 2020, Jan 1, I started fighting him, that I'm not going to continue with him like that, that he should go apply for MSC, start a business or just do something. He now started saying that he has responsibilities which are his siblings, I told him this is the nonsense, he would do till the year ends, we will fight and later resolve it. He won't even talk about it, or get reminded, he makes me feel Hus boss is using him. I have told him several times how he would be used and dumped, in fact, he makes me say negatives sometimes, and that's because I have seen people that get dumped while working with companies and they fall back to grass, my mum won't even accept him because he works in a company, small company, not cocacola or big companies. My mum hates company works like shits because we've heard and seen people falling to zero due to company jobs. The problem 1. He says I'm disturbing his life, and not allowing him to rest 2. I'm not happy with him living that way, with no future, no investment, hes not building himself while working, hes not doing courses, not learning any skills, and I think its too risky. His current salary is not enough for him, not to talk of me collecting part of it. But he gives me money though, has not been more than 1k, 2k and data subscription which I really appreciate. 3. I can't introduce him to my family because I want him respected. Truth is I don't know what he would say to impress my parents because I'm not even impressed with him. And I want him to be superloved and respected. I believe in first impression would last very long. He has introduced me to his family and all friends 4. He never ask me about my own life, aspirations, advice me etc, I'm always the one to do that. Yesterday he had the gut to tell me I'm not caring because of just two days of not showing care 5. Corona has turned his company outside down and he's highly affected. Just like all what I was telling him finally happened, and he has nothing to fall back at. He has a car, 6. I can't marry him or anyone this way, and I'm getting old, though and I want marriage next year. He said he wants too, but I can't marry him like this. And I don't want to get to late twenties, and he breaks up and I start looking for husband, people would be thinking maybe I have a problem that is why I'm yet to marry, they won't know that its him that caused my delay. Plus I have a very high esteem, so I would hate to be desperate for marriage with a man or be the one to be wanting marriage so much in a relationship 7. Right now, we have temporarily break up, so I'm asking if I should break up or make up? Because he was saying rubbish last night Note: I'm not a fan of dating and rubbish, I love him very much and I don't want to leave him at all. I don't think there's any man I can date as I do not like dishonesty at all and 95% of men are dishonest. My BF is very honest and good I'm every other aspect [/quote] |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by DonWorks(f): 11:28pm On May 21, 2020 |
Not trying to be judgemental, but where is your Dad today? What does he do? Acmepreneur: 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by cybriz82(m): 11:29pm On May 21, 2020 |
Jaspaman: Oga e never late collect her number na then marry her before next year we dash u free if charge.. 8 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Danielkupiejo: 11:29pm On May 21, 2020 |
Shes less concerned of what the guy his passing through. She doesn't know that the guy can't tell him everything no matter how much he love her somethings are just kept within and done within. Its not easy for d guy he dey try his best, what if the advice backfires what if the business fails, he doesn't have money to start up a business, he no get money to go abroad. Youre not helping him financially she just want the guy to rob has she forgot that business fail. Which business you expect someone who earns 90k wit a family rent and car to maintain to venture in, how much can he save monthly. Pls dis gal na small pikin dey worry her chigoizie7: 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by damesilver(m): 11:30pm On May 21, 2020 |
Acmepreneur: Many serious guys here on Nairaland would like to marry your kind of person because of your purpose-driven progressive propensity. I wanted to request for your mail, but’s it’s ok, I’ll comment here, too. The word says iron sharpens iron. You are trying to save your union at the same desiring fundamental change. I would say be gentle in your approach to make him change his attitude towards desiring material and psychic progress. Better still, be patient to find someone who is compatible with you. This is very important. The number one condition for harmonious union is compatibility, then genuine love, so keep to that. It is also important that the two should strive to work shoulder to shoulder. Most people connect only at the physical, baser level, I.e the sexual instinct level, few connect on emotional level, fewer still connect on intellectual level, very rare are those Vibrating on the same astral and spiritual frequency. I can’t say all here. I guess you are born around September though. 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Alaganature(m): 11:32pm On May 21, 2020 |
Godoverevery: Baba You just bursted my brain...Same things goes to my relationship as well..my woman nah a lot and she keep putting pressure on me to get a job when she knows there is nothing now..I told her straight up that if she is not contented with me and she can't support me financially then let's end up the relationship.. Thank God she accepted and I'm cool with it now 1 Like |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Nobody: 11:32pm On May 21, 2020 |
I feel some panic on behalf of the OP’s boyfriend ![]() .Choleric versus phlegmatic .Control freak versus easy/mellow/happy-go-lucky .Domineering versus ?? .Someone who lives for the future and planning for it versus one that more or less takes each day as it comes. .Fear of poverty versus ease/contentment with available money. Please leave the guy alone, as in, jilt him please, for his own sake mostly, there is little or no fit here. Cut and join won’t work because control freaks don’t (cannot) even manage joinwork. I also see some ?grandiosity/egocentrism. You need something I don’t know now- some weed, a heart break, some “flaky”, fun girlfriends (that party might just be it), to loosen you up some. You are wound so tight darling. And for one so young. (Maybe the order and organisation in Canada would do it for you). Google desert cube ladder horse test, and do it for fun. Your boyfriend should do it too. It is a very fun (often and variously and I daresay rightfully disparaged) psychological assessment. You may like it, or not. But at least you guys can see if you are on the same page in a loopy psychological assessment. And it is fun, trust me. Maybe show this thread to your boyfriend too? It might wake him up or chase him further inside his cocoon. This was hard especially as I am more on your boyfriend’s side here. I also acknowledge I might be wrong with my assessment. Either way, good luck. |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Officialgarri: 11:32pm On May 21, 2020 |
Acmepreneur:Don't pay attention to those negative comments. Any matured person can easily tell that you are a wife material. All you want is the best for you and your guy's future. A future void of suffering. That is your duty as a wife. Kudos! Please, make up and talk sense to him. I believe he wants the best but just handicapped like so many of us. I mean, we have bright ideas but no zeal or fund to execute it. Teach him to start from little. Stay with him and I wish you guys the best. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Strech(m): 11:36pm On May 21, 2020 |
That's the same problem I am facing with my wife now.and I think divorce is the only option for me now. She wants me to continue the nonsense government job I am doing, while I am saving enough money to start up what IAM good at and derive much pleasure in doing. She likes to see me wear nice long sleeve and tie every morning to work. While on the other hand I love to get my hands dirty. 3 Likes |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by cappucino925(m): 11:37pm On May 21, 2020 |
check my signature to start earning 2-3k daily |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by damesilver(m): 11:38pm On May 21, 2020 |
merahki: This is not phlegmatic of a thing. My perception is that the guy is not willing to improve on himself even when there is someone to help him. This habit is common anyway. The best path is the middle way, not too fast and furious , and not too slow and sluggish. |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by pocohantas(f): 11:39pm On May 21, 2020 |
Aunty allow this young man breathe abeg!! You are his gf, not his mother. Do this, do that. I totally understand his position because I know someone like you. I had to tell him to give me a break. Yes, you guys don’t do it intentionally or with bad intentions, but you are damn overwhelming. With the epistle you typed sef, I know you will be giving that young man headache. Appreciate the one he is doing first, then mildly chip your suggestions in. Na wetin!!! 11 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by SeriouslySense(m): 11:42pm On May 21, 2020 |
I believe there was sufficient wisdom for you in the comments, it may not be as it seem, how does he even feels, what kind of pressure he is dealing with, what kind of person is he, and you are aware he may not be you type. You have you own philosophy, he has his own philosophy, what unites two of you together, are you aware some men do not like to be controlled, or ordered, how do you speak to him, l hope not as a superior speaker, the way you approach things are important, hahaha. Sometimes people who do not like to be told what to do, will do opposite what you told them, so it will make things worse, you have to make it seem like they know so much, and give them credit for taking wise steps Also i hope you are building yourself up, you seem very smart, so take your own advise |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Alaganature(m): 11:42pm On May 21, 2020 |
funmisticqueen2: Miss Adviser...I would want to know if your boyfriend is making up to 90k or probably do you even have a degree? Do you believe breaking up is the best solution? the complainant only as big dreams but is she really showing it? No man want a woman with dreams instead let her show it to the physical and by then it would motivate her boyfriend..is she breakup she might not even get a good guy who earn up to 90k ah swear 2 Likes |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by ponti93(m): 11:43pm On May 21, 2020 |
Acmepreneur:a man who doesn't desire change cannot be forced or cajoled into changing... change comes from within, you have to be willing to change, then effort follows...for a computer graduate to be earning only 90k per month shows he lacks ambition and forward thinking... this is the internet age, a computer graduate should have extra skills or certification that will be bringing him extra cash and the 90k will be like pocket money to him. ask serious programmers on this platform...or network engineers. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by chigoizie7(m): 11:43pm On May 21, 2020 |
Myhusband: I like what you said, any man that wants to grow, needs a woman to ginger him. You might be correct in some ways, for some people. For example, I do not have a masters, I worked in a naija bank after graduation for a year, then I left Nigeria, I do not have a girlfriend from when I left until now, I do not need anyone to ginger me so as to achieve the type of life I want. So far, I have sponsored my two brothers to leave naija as well as a friend of mine. I know what I want, I do not need anyone to ginger me, just like most people I see here. If you are waiting for a woman to ginger you, then you certainly do not want to grow. My point is, always k ow the type of people you are dealing with before forcing your own opinions on them. This man might have a rethink tomorrow to improve himself. Allow him to do it at his own pace. If the young lady is all about the money. Let her make the billions for both of them. Better still , let her leave the young man. Simple. From all the long epistle, all I see was, I want him to do this and that, I never heard her say what the young man really want for himself. I offered to bring a friend of mine outside naija but he said that he loves his business in naija and he is making it and happy doing it. Some love the 8-5 kinda job. Some love the celebrity life, some love the business line. Does this lady think it is everyone that can do business? If it is so easy, let her embark on all those things she wants the boy to achieve for herself. It is very easy to sit at the line and be issuing orders, I want this, I want that. That is not how this life works. Just like we have technocrats and politicians in most economies of the world. People will be tailors, people will be drivers, an Uber driver here makes morethan a million naira equivalent per month. It all boils down to what makes you happy . We need money , yes. But you can’t be drake because you want to be as rich as he is, at the same time drake can’t be dangote as dangote is far richer than him, neither can he be c Ronaldo who is a footballer, dangote is so rich but he can’t be Jeff bezos. Amongst the owners of YouTube, one of them sold his shares to his friends to go live in a remote area and travel the world low key. Instead of just sitting there ordering him what to do and what not to do. Why not sit down , suggest some of those businesses for him and also suggest to him how to raise the money required for someone who earns only 90k. Does she think businesses do not fail? For sure, he can’t be working and at the same time doing businesses for someone with the position of a manager. For someone who doesn’t know much about businesses. The young man might be thinking so many things, he could be thinking, for this business to be efficiently run, I need to be present, does that mean he will quit his job? What if the business fails? Where will he fall back on? The money that will be used for the business, where will it come from? Loans? How will he pay back if he quits his job and the business fails? Those could be what the young man is thinking. But that girl doesn’t care how it is done, she thinks businesses grow over night. As a credits and loan officer back then, I know better when funding businesses, it is not easy. She thinks a man earning 90k can just go to a bank for a loan of N1m without a solid collateral? 6 Likes |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by dejio42(m): 11:44pm On May 21, 2020 |
The truth is that if a rich daddy comes tomorrow for your hand in marriage, you will follow. DONT COME AND TELL US YOU LOVE HIM WHILE YOUR STORY SAY "YOU LOVE MONEY. Mind you: the mother will always go on her kneels and ask GOD this questions you are asking here. just leave and let some1 who appreciates comes in. |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by damesilver(m): 11:44pm On May 21, 2020 |
Strech: Bros, please, don’t disappoint madam Tina oh... work things out amicably sir. Let the love that made you to set her conspicuously on social media page not wane. Stay strong , sir. |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Nobody: 11:45pm On May 21, 2020 |
girl you r busy dreaming your big dream and forgetting that u live in nigeria u better wake up nd enjoy life bfor its too late |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by bluefilm: 11:47pm On May 21, 2020 |
Acmepreneur: My people, una dey see women and their wahala so? Is the nigga forcing you to be with him? If you can't take it anymore, why not go and find your way? Na wa o! 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by joepepsy(m): 11:49pm On May 21, 2020 |
Your papa no waste school fees, kneel down make I pray for you. .. Tripitaka: |
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