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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me (85564 Views)
My Dead Neighbour / My Uncle Wife Is Insensitive / Father Bathes His New Born Baby: "My Wife Needs Rest" (Photos) (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by Ohizman73(m): 7:24am On May 22, 2020 |
femi4: who told you christianity did not start with the old testiment.have you read the book off levesticus (how is it not applicable to modern living).the bible and xtianity is the same,today,yestaday and tommorow. 16 Likes |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by Ultimategeneral: 7:33am On May 22, 2020 |
Modesthy:Oga directly or indirectly you are her next husband that's tradition for you. Safe if she decides to marry else where then you are free,but you owe the child a fatherly figure. 14 Likes |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by Ohizman73(m): 7:35am On May 22, 2020 |
Mindlog: Even without marrying our brothers wife are the mans brothers in our culture not the brothers wifes husband so to say. you giving her a child in this circumstances doesnt necessarily make her your second wife or having a steady sexual relation with her except it for procreation which is the said onus. if you really claim your brother was like a dad to him.you just to swallow this bitter pill and continue his lineage in legal and right way following the customs and traditions. most especially if your brother married her traditionally. 4 Likes |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by kyng(m): 7:44am On May 22, 2020 |
Op the woman demanding sexx from you is wrong that would be adultery. The right way this would be done is for to approach the family elders and tell them her opinions then they will give her as a wife to one one of the family member who is capable and can take care of her and her children. Tell her this is the right thing to do #doitright 12 Likes |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by Ohizman73(m): 7:46am On May 22, 2020 |
Ultimategeneral: this is what i have directly stressed and given truthful.the woman is a good woman self and reallly loved the uncle.it is so unfourtunae that she lost her husband.After mourning the family if they really like their brother would have immediately married her to the man. bearing the circumstances that the man has only one child. that is why it is also good to marry from the same cultural background.i am not happy the man is shying from his responsibilties as a kin . there is no matter here. since the woman decided not marry from else were. then also the woman is protecting her interest.if she marries from else were,the very next minute the mans people would collect to the mans last pin and the mans child.leaving her totally devasted for life. they should be happy she wants to remain in their family and keep their brothers memory. 10 Likes |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by Ohizman73(m): 8:32am On May 22, 2020 |
kyng: |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by amaham(m): 8:51am On May 22, 2020 |
Hello op , why didn't your uncle have another child this past 12yrs? Find the reason behind this secondary infertility before you scatter your young marriage on the altar of tradition 16 Likes |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by femi4: 9:00am On May 22, 2020 |
Ohizman73:Christianity = Christ followers Abraham et al other prophets weren't Christian. Its deep, I don't expect you to understand 11 Likes |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by JourneytoEL(f): 9:10am On May 22, 2020 |
Modesthy:yoiu don't have to have sex with her, you can use ivf if you have the money. Whatever you are doing ensure your wife and two elders are aware 6 Likes |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by wingmanIII: 9:36am On May 22, 2020 |
You claim you see it as a big sin, so why are you asking questions? You want somebody to tell you it's not a sin? Please leave the woman alone or if you have the cash you can do artificial insemination, that way you give her a child without sleeping with her but please get your wife's approval first. 3 Likes |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by Modesthy: 9:38am On May 22, 2020 |
mkoabiola:This is real story. It is not play. I need advice . 2 Likes |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by Ohizman73(m): 10:17am On May 22, 2020 |
femi4:you. Funny claiming to know the indepts. Of xtianity when you know nothing. So they were devils prophets and pagans. When Jesus went to the mountain whom did he appear with.it is people like you that deceive other people with religious antics. 14 Likes |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by mrblessed(m): 10:21am On May 22, 2020 |
This is one of the damages European culture and Christianity has done to the Igbo culture. In the past, our ancestors have a way of tackling this challenge to ensure that the woman won't become promiscuous or bring in a child with paternity question marks. Yes, brothers do inherit wives of their departed brothers, and can procreate if and where necessary. Sadly, our world has been turned upside down and a new culture has taken precedence. Yet some practices of the old still hold sway, like marrying more than one wife and spousal inheritance. You have two options here: either you step up and perform your family duty, or you permit her to look and satisfy herself outside, which includes the possibility of birthing a child. 6 Likes |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by femi4: 10:29am On May 22, 2020 |
Ohizman73:you still don't get it. They were servants of God not devils. Like I said, you cant comprehend 4 Likes |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by Acidosis(m): 10:43am On May 22, 2020 |
Why is this up for discussion on Nairaland? You only need two people to consent to her request; 1. Your wife 2. Your late uncle 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by Ohizman73(m): 10:55am On May 22, 2020 |
wingmanIII:Did he say he was disturbing the woman or did you not follow up the tread .his wife has no say or authority over this issue .that is why ibo people take marriage seriously and have great influence on whom their wards want to marry and lace of origin. There are reasons for all these, it is when things start happening that it now becomes a case of oh, if I had listened or known. A non ibo woman marring an ibo is bounded by their traditions and must comply. If she knows she is not liable to be bounded she should not marry the man. In ibo land it is the mans family she marries.then in the event of default, matters are directed to the elders.the odd the man has brought to the table is a clear and simple matter, it is nothing new. Then I had earlier asked him since he stayed with them what happened that the woman had no child between the time interval of 12 years. Then the woman is being tactical to avoid a situation whereby a hasty decision is passed on her by the elders to force any member of their brother on her.the woman is now between the devil and the blue sea. That is part of the travails of an Afro woman in losing her husband. 7 Likes |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by sisisioge: 10:57am On May 22, 2020 |
What a freak request! Her marriage to your uncle ended when death did them apart! Let her look for another man outside to have children with or adopt. Hian! 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by Ohizman73(m): 11:02am On May 22, 2020 |
femi4:they were not xtians. Mind you xtian in the actual sense mean followers of Gods doings. |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by Ohizman73(m): 11:12am On May 22, 2020 |
mrblessed:I am from edo and our cultures are related as to the case in point , I have also given a truthful advice. But however the woman is not looking for sexual satisfaction again. But procreation ,as she had only one child before the man died.shes doesn't want to go out to remarry , which she is allowed. But because she want to remain within the family as a dutiful wife considering her age. She's 42 and of course menopause is already at the corner.no African woman is ever comfortable with one child mind you. Am even happy it is a boy. If it were a girl the family would have thrown out her load the very hour the man died. I had expected this issue to be elders want to force me to marry my late uncles wife with reasons. 3 Likes |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by Ohizman73(m): 11:31am On May 22, 2020 |
dayorich:the other question I have asked you that you have refused to answer is what happened that ur uncles wife did not have any other child between the 12 year interval that she had ur uncles only child . Is it that ur uncle had infertility problems. For now to make this request shows some light that she is fertile all along even nearing menopause. |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by Adeboyefa(f): 11:48am On May 22, 2020 |
clintz: A brother-in-law is free to reject his brother's widow without being killed (Deuteronomy 25: 5 - 10). Ruth was rejected by her late husband's closest male relative ("to avoid ruining my own inheritance ",according to him) before marrying Boaz (Ruth 3:9 -4:10). It is a sin to marry a woman you know you won't be able to provide for (1 Timothy 5: 8 ). Onan was killed because he CHOSE to marry Tamar (in order to inherit her late husband's property) and then refused to let her get pregnant. He was a dog in the manger, who wanted all of Er's property to go to his own children by other women, shortchanging both Er and Tamar. This is unlike Ruth's in-law, who forfeited both Ruth and her husband's property to Boaz (Ruth 4: 3 - 6). 19 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by RealEzee(m): 11:49am On May 22, 2020 |
femi4:explain please , cos last time I checked Abraham followed Christ keeping the law of Moses knowing it was a schoolmaster to the coming of christ in the flesh and it was counted unto him for righteousness tho. 1 Like |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by Nobody: 11:59am On May 22, 2020 |
That's rubbish. She should find a man outside the family to marry and have another child with. Tell her you're not interested, encourage her to find another man (or help, although this shouldn't be your obligation either because if anything goes wrong you may be blamed), and face your own life/marriage. sisisioge:Gbam. 1 Like |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by Modesthy: 12:04pm On May 22, 2020 |
Ohizman73:Her real intention I'm very sure is for procreation. She is not financially capable of doing ivf. 1 Like |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by femi4: 12:08pm On May 22, 2020 |
RealEzee:Christ didn't give us the law, he gave us the summary of the law Thou shalt love thy Lord, thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind", "And the second is like unto it, thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." Abraham believed God. "Believe" is the word there 3 Likes |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by Modesthy: 12:10pm On May 22, 2020 |
Ohizman73:Yes my uncle suffered sickness for some years before his death. May that was the reason. Whose fault it was I don't really know because I didn't discuss anything like that with any of them. 3 Likes |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by Modesthy: 12:21pm On May 22, 2020 |
Ohizman73:Nobody forces anybody on a woman in my place. The advice I need is just based on conscience because I use to see the woman as somehow a mother and my uncle as a father. And moreso I'm a Christian. These were the reason I objected. But she keep telling me that I should think about her condition of having only one child. 1 Like |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by RealEzee(m): 12:48pm On May 22, 2020 |
femi4:so what are you saying in essence, was Abraham and the ancients not followers of christ? If not then what were they? Cos the ancient obeyed the law given to them and that was accounted unto them for righteousness just as the scripture puts in,Abraham for example, in galatians 3:6-7,23-25 had the law and followed it knowing it brought him and the ancient unto christ, they looked forward to Christ as the prophets did testify about that he was to come. Like you said 'believe', they exercise faith in the law they had which was given them by God through prophets before Christ coming, cos all the part of the law was really pointing towards christ Sha, so what really will call the ancients if not Christians tho? We followed christ, he in turn followed the Father, since he said he didn't come to do his will but the will of his father Sha. Really want to get this your concept tho about the ancients not been Christians sha |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by femi4: 1:01pm On May 22, 2020 |
RealEzee:The laws kills, it doesn't give life. On the Sabbath, Christ heal the sick. The law doesn't preach forgiveness if caught in adultery , Christ forgave the women caught in very act. Our forefathers followed the law by slaughtering ram to make sacrifices to God but we as Christians don't need that again. Abraham served God under the law. He was righteous and a servant of God. The word "Christian" was first associated with the people the followed Christ in the book of Act. Act 11:26 And when he had found him, he brought him unto Antioch. And it came to pass that for a whole year they assembled themselves with the church, and taught many people. And the disciples were called Christians first in Antioch. But we cant serve God in this dispensation using the law. We followed the precepts of Christ hence the name "Christian" 4 Likes |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by dayorich: 1:04pm On May 22, 2020 |
It is now very obvious that the Indian hemp you ingest daily into your system is already taking a toll on you. Get well soon bro. You are healed... Ohizman73: 1 Like |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by Mariangeles(f): 1:12pm On May 22, 2020 |
Modesthy: If you were not married, there would've been nothing wrong with it. 2 Likes |
Re: My Dead Uncle's Wife Needs Children From Me by Ohizman73(m): 1:38pm On May 22, 2020 |
Modesthy:I never insisted that in your place people force people on people.already the proper advice has been given . We are not also forcing the woman on you.you have also hit the nail on the head that it's like your uncle was sick before he died sort of having fertility problems. You ask the wife what was the reason why she could not have another child when your uncle was alive. Of course you know the answer.and of course it is crystal clear that it her condition that has descended to her stooping low to make such request.if your brother was alive and she made such request it becomes a sin. Then as he's dead you never had interest or wanted to convert your brothers pty to yours.from these tread a majority have given the same advice as mine. Already some people are making mockery of her predicament and yours. And starting to toe another line bringing up religious sentiments and insuring these trying to offer you proper advice.your uncles family welfare lie in ur hands after his death.you spoke well of him and his wife.it is really unfortunate.we don't pray for any bad misfortune what if that his only son dies.did any body foresee your uncle would die at his prime.i think I have done my best in advice. Lastly what tribe is ur uncles wife and what tribe is your wife. Did the family not partake in the burial of ur uncle. what was the elders decision on their brothers wife and his interests. That aspect is compulsory in ibo land.you made mention that she did a sort of traditional mourning ceremony for her late dad.i know how you feel with the claim that ur uncle was like a father to you and the woman like a mother.what is paining me is that it seems no mature female has contributed to this tread. I wish you the best and good luck 5 Likes |
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