Me feed a man? not in this life

What is all these?

Nawa o.. all because the woman is the breadwinner.

What of guys that work and do everything for their women and still treat them with respect.

Very pathetic. Op I’m ashamed on ur behalf


U shud have said how to become ur wife’s house boy. Well it’s for people married to funny and unpredictable women.


Dumb ass post

eni4real:
Where is your unconditional love??

I'm joking

No 21 is so funny

Ok

Nairaland just dey sweet me this days, so much wisdom, Oga Seun Mr Lalasticlala , uncle Mynd44 , Madam Dominique una well done for all this nkan be stories

Essenza01:
Jobless husband diaries!!

Here are some guidelines for unemployed husbands with working wives., when you read through with an open mind, you would see it's not she looking down on you, it's just you being smart to be able to have your sanity and getting some advantages while praying for a change.. Hang in there guys, you are not alone, tables turn... you would be fine.

1 - Never discuss your predicament beyond the normal and never show weakness in front of your wife.. "she dont want to see hopelessness"..

2 - buy a lot of noodles, you would be needing it a lot, especially during your strong head periods, you dont win most fights, most fights end with "Oya buy it naa" that's usually when you add the convo to your lost battles ..

3 - your meals majorly come in two options if any
Rice or noodles?
Beans or noodles?
Eba or noodles?

Semo or pounds is too stressful, dont opt to make ... stress was only the surface reason given to you..

4 - sex is usually delayed, when ever you see one just accept and be ready for maybe max two position change, some styles may be banned..

5 - dont come home drunk, I repeat.. dont come home drunk..you remember the pictures of samloco playing "jobless old drunk" in movie scenes... you look exactly like them to her..

6 - some eatable and chewy chewy groceries stops being in the fridge because you are home most-times and eats to chase boredom.. there is always a secret stash in her room for groundnuts, sharp biscuits, cashew nuts, sweets, etc.. she knows you know, take reasonably

7 - you are at your lowest, dont bring friends doing well too close home, otherwise you might get depressed from comparison

8 - in your many many ideas, you know broke guys reason business ideas like Warren buffet , always sieve out the good ones, because telling her some kind stupid stupid ideas would make you look jobless and stupid also.

9 - the best way to dodge Bill's is to watch your words, avoid some topics, you need to be one step or two ahead everytime.. e.g TV shows, movies, food, clubs etc...
- TV shows - dstv bill comes up
- Movies - cinema bill comes up
- Food - restaurant and taking out comes up..

10 - Do house chores, pick mopping... it's easier, you only start when she is done sweeping and dusting, she goes to bath, you zig-zag and get back to watching (how do they do it) ... use water, avoid bubbles on tiles.. you would redo that work even if its next week..

11 - dont leave the sink messy, especially on work days when you are home job hunting and she is out hustling, bro it's an important rule from a man to a man..

12 - with your many insecurities and the devil trying to use you to bring out your alpha Male, pick your fights... yes they would come, but there is an extent to which a broke man fights and argues..

13 - you would owe her cash a lot, she knows deep down that money is not coming back, but be ready to be dragged about it to pay for essentials you cant do without.. she would pay eventually when you have curled away asking God why.. allow her have it, it's one of her high moments.

14 - in your midnight cries, yes "midnight cries" is most times once a week or twice sha, depending on the days activities... dont disturb her sleep...

15 - be transparent, remove password from your phone, laptops etc... if she is being faithful, infidelity is not something you want attached to "cheating jobless old man"... you cant be broke and cheating, they dont work together..

16 - read, read, read... you have to pass her in something, current affairs, global happenings, worlds economy etc... it is an edge when you throw small small insults inside conversations "so you dont know kyari is dead" those are one of your few high moments..

17 - early morning gisting with her while she baths and makes up, makes her happy.. you can lend some money during those hours.. those are your bankable hours, if you want some extra cash, offer to drop her at work, that's if it's not your duty already oo..

18 - at all, at all, try to provide for fuel for generator, darkness and a man being in the house dont usually go together.. you might start having complex..

19 - always use your car weekends, thats if you have not sold hers and she is using yours. When you use your car weekends for functions not personal waka, she chips or outrightly buys fuel that you can manage during the week for your job hunting activities..

20 - look good, work out and have your CV handy. you need to look the role she currently tells people you are doing.." Frank is okay, he is inbetween jobs, but trying out some ideas with friends".. if the friends ask for your CV, always have it handy, delay is dangerous...

21 - dont be gluttonous, eat moderately like a normal human being, if you finish your meals for the week by wednesday, be ready to fall back to your noodles (refer to rule 2) and yes you would come up with different flavours of home made seasonings only you can eat..

22 - try to curtail your mood swings, she is the only one entitled to it, you need to be happy with smiles when she is making conversations..

23 - make business calls or pretend to make business call.. it's important, it gives her hope you are connecting.. "my brother me and you know say na 10k you dey shout like that for"

24 - go grocery shopping with her, you get to use the opportunity to throw drinks into the cart and remove face immediately, if your eyes jam.. you would return that drink ooo..

25 - if she sends you a link from work, read, watch or chat her to discuss with her, otherwise "what are you doing, that you didn't reply my message follows" , what you were doing must have financial gains ooo never use "I was sleeping" as excuse... dont even try it..

26 - dont call her family, send text message if you can.. dont let them remember you ooo..

27 - during your few chances of sex, dont shoot in, "I repeat", dont shoot in... you may find yourself outside by 1am looking for postinol 2
. the stress in looking for the drug would surpass whatever you managed to enjoy.

28 - be ready for "mistakes" of giving you cash in front of people , it's not everytime she remembers to call you to the corner or give you her card.. it's one of those moments you want the ground to swallow you up.. but my brother "dem no dey use shame swallow spit".. it wont last forever.

Let's me rest here first and continue later... but in all, I love my wife... she is that woman that has your back 100%..

The table has turned for me and am back to my responsibilities, it was a tough period, I learnt a lot, from Anger management to laws of power, it's not a fun place to reside in for a long time....

Most especially:
Marry your friend,
marry your partner in crime,
Marry your day1 niga,
your Gee... when you do, no matter the circumstance, you have some level of peace, some room to pickup and some encouragement to guide you through.

Klinee:
The worst condition a man can fall in is when you're being fed by a woman

Its suicidal

Klinee:
The worst condition a man can fall in is when you're being fed by a woman

and that woman should be your friend....more reason you shouldn't marry because she is very pretty you con forget the friendship part...... Perilous times will definitely come and that love and friendship will guide the both of you in those times.

This post is only going to make it harder for women to be married.

But why is it that when women 'head' the home things get this messy?

ibkayee:

I'm joking

Lolz

In conclusion, penis nor dey pay bills ,if you ain't got the means to pay the bills ,drop your ego, nobody is dragging your manship with you and being broke is the least time you should be reminding your wife how much of a man you are.


I hate it when men start saying "na because I nor get money again make you dey talk to me anyhow". That is where these men start having issues and run to nairaland to be creating threads,na you nor get shit for yansh na you still dey raise shoulder,mteeeeeeeew.


A broke egotistic man is worse than a rattle snake. Most men don't want to embrace their house husband roles,that's where issues start.

Noted

naija4life247:


It is better to die of hunger and to be fed by a woman.

Hunger has grades

If level 3 hold you your neighbor foul go resemble barbecue

once you go broke body go tell you You dont need any lectures

An underrated thread.
Op, you really tried with those points. Those guidelines will help to keep an healthy home. You know men and their ego, when they are not in charge they become easily frustrated and they see their wives as a competitor instead of a partner.

BlissB:
and that woman should be your friend....more reason you shouldn't marry because she is very pretty you con forget the friendship part...... Perilous times will definitely come and that love and friendship will guide the both of you in those times.

What is your philosophy about being a wife??

NLPsychologist:
This post is only going to make it harder for women to be married.

But why is it that when women 'head' the home things get this messy?

Because they were not programmed or prepared for that role growing up.

Pray you call the shots as the man

Money is very important in relationships! When they pray for you to never lack the requirements of being a husband you should say serious amen!

Insightful.

crackland:

Cosigned...

In addition to all this, please make yourself as scarce as possible in the house and around her.
If possible, just tell her that you're travelling and spend a week or two away...then return back and continue being very scarce around her.

This fit cause more quarel o.
Na "insensitive" she fit label you that time.

You described my husband’s few years ago. Men become angry unnecessarily when they are not doing what they are supposed to do especially when the wife is the one doing the needful. Every little thing will be channeled to “is it because I don’t have money “ those times was trying for us. Patient, hardwork, prayer and God got us through.

He that has ears let him hear.

Wow...

Finally an epistle of rules and regulations for men in marriage

Who else is waiting for ybaby to enter the thread?

Some mentions of the word 'infidels' is lacking in this thread.

Millenniumlady:
Me feed a man? not in this life

so what would you do if your husband becomes jobless and you aint attractive anymore cos you are abit worn out due to stress of chid birth

As funny as this may look, none of these points are out of place. Being a house husband is a low point.. and these rules will enable him keep his head up while waiting on a change in fortune. Good one O.p

I've been using the REACH app to master my finances. I think you'll also find it really helpful. Use my referral code - UYFTN9 - to sign up. See you in the app! https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.findreach.android&hl=en_US

mrblessed:
Why not just tell an unemployed man to commit suicide instead of making an unrealistic list about things he should memorise and practice. But no one ever remembers to make such ridiculous list for stay-at-home moms. The best thing an unemployed husband should is to find a means to be employed, he should be able to any job that brings money to his pocket, including what we called menial job. That way, his dignity and self-esteem are protected, and he can get to have his say in the family, even if his wife earns more than he does.

forget dis u saying.

do u think suicide is easy?

my guy when u reason say u don suffer for earth n u reach heaven u go still suffer na double tragedy o, Ur sense go tell u say na bad idea to commit suicide.

what d OP said is mainly true, I can relate, u just have to pray to have very good friends n family dat will pick u up when u fall, if not u have to practice all those points OP listed above.

forget Ur suicide o

Essenza01:
Jobless husband diaries!!

Here are some guidelines for unemployed husbands with working wives., when you read through with an open mind, you would see it's not she looking down on you, it's just you being smart to be able to have your sanity and getting some advantages while praying for a change.. Hang in there guys, you are not alone, tables turn... you would be fine.

1 - Never discuss your predicament beyond the normal and never show weakness in front of your wife.. "she dont want to see hopelessness"..

2 - buy a lot of noodles, you would be needing it a lot, especially during your strong head periods, you dont win most fights, most fights end with "Oya buy it naa" that's usually when you add the convo to your lost battles ..

3 - your meals majorly come in two options if any
Rice or noodles?
Beans or noodles?
Eba or noodles?

Semo or pounds is too stressful, dont opt to make ... stress was only the surface reason given to you..

4 - sex is usually delayed, when ever you see one just accept and be ready for maybe max two position change, some styles may be banned..

5 - dont come home drunk, I repeat.. dont come home drunk..you remember the pictures of samloco playing "jobless old drunk" in movie scenes... you look exactly like them to her..

6 - some eatable and chewy chewy groceries stops being in the fridge because you are home most-times and eats to chase boredom.. there is always a secret stash in her room for groundnuts, sharp biscuits, cashew nuts, sweets, etc.. she knows you know, take reasonably

7 - you are at your lowest, dont bring friends doing well too close home, otherwise you might get depressed from comparison

8 - in your many many ideas, you know broke guys reason business ideas like Warren buffet , always sieve out the good ones, because telling her some kind stupid stupid ideas would make you look jobless and stupid also.

9 - the best way to dodge Bill's is to watch your words, avoid some topics, you need to be one step or two ahead everytime.. e.g TV shows, movies, food, clubs etc...
- TV shows - dstv bill comes up
- Movies - cinema bill comes up
- Food - restaurant and taking out comes up..

10 - Do house chores, pick mopping... it's easier, you only start when she is done sweeping and dusting, she goes to bath, you zig-zag and get back to watching (how do they do it) ... use water, avoid bubbles on tiles.. you would redo that work even if its next week..

11 - dont leave the sink messy, especially on work days when you are home job hunting and she is out hustling, bro it's an important rule from a man to a man..

12 - with your many insecurities and the devil trying to use you to bring out your alpha Male, pick your fights... yes they would come, but there is an extent to which a broke man fights and argues..

13 - you would owe her cash a lot, she knows deep down that money is not coming back, but be ready to be dragged about it to pay for essentials you cant do without.. she would pay eventually when you have curled away asking God why.. allow her have it, it's one of her high moments.

14 - in your midnight cries, yes "midnight cries" is most times once a week or twice sha, depending on the days activities... dont disturb her sleep...

15 - be transparent, remove password from your phone, laptops etc... if she is being faithful, infidelity is not something you want attached to "cheating jobless old man"... you cant be broke and cheating, they dont work together..

16 - read, read, read... you have to pass her in something, current affairs, global happenings, worlds economy etc... it is an edge when you throw small small insults inside conversations "so you dont know kyari is dead" those are one of your few high moments..

17 - early morning gisting with her while she baths and makes up, makes her happy.. you can lend some money during those hours.. those are your bankable hours, if you want some extra cash, offer to drop her at work, that's if it's not your duty already oo..

18 - at all, at all, try to provide for fuel for generator, darkness and a man being in the house dont usually go together.. you might start having complex..

19 - always use your car weekends, thats if you have not sold hers and she is using yours. When you use your car weekends for functions not personal waka, she chips or outrightly buys fuel that you can manage during the week for your job hunting activities..

20 - look good, work out and have your CV handy. you need to look the role she currently tells people you are doing.." Frank is okay, he is inbetween jobs, but trying out some ideas with friends".. if the friends ask for your CV, always have it handy, delay is dangerous...

21 - dont be gluttonous, eat moderately like a normal human being, if you finish your meals for the week by wednesday, be ready to fall back to your noodles (refer to rule 2) and yes you would come up with different flavours of home made seasonings only you can eat..

22 - try to curtail your mood swings, she is the only one entitled to it, you need to be happy with smiles when she is making conversations..

23 - make business calls or pretend to make business call.. it's important, it gives her hope you are connecting.. "my brother me and you know say na 10k you dey shout like that for"

24 - go grocery shopping with her, you get to use the opportunity to throw drinks into the cart and remove face immediately, if your eyes jam.. you would return that drink ooo..

25 - if she sends you a link from work, read, watch or chat her to discuss with her, otherwise "what are you doing, that you didn't reply my message follows" , what you were doing must have financial gains ooo never use "I was sleeping" as excuse... dont even try it..

26 - dont call her family, send text message if you can.. dont let them remember you ooo..

27 - during your few chances of sex, dont shoot in, "I repeat", dont shoot in... you may find yourself outside by 1am looking for postinol 2
. the stress in looking for the drug would surpass whatever you managed to enjoy.

28 - be ready for "mistakes" of giving you cash in front of people , it's not everytime she remembers to call you to the corner or give you her card.. it's one of those moments you want the ground to swallow you up.. but my brother "dem no dey use shame swallow spit".. it wont last forever.

Let's me rest here first and continue later... but in all, I love my wife... she is that woman that has your back 100%..

The table has turned for me and am back to my responsibilities, it was a tough period, I learnt a lot, from Anger management to laws of power, it's not a fun place to reside in for a long time....

Most especially:
Marry your friend,
marry your partner in crime,
Marry your day1 niga,
your Gee... when you do, no matter the circumstance, you have some level of peace, some room to pickup and some encouragement to guide you through.

Omo 3 Gbosa for you.Very humourous but vital.

Funny but interesting.

Another tip: NEVER be idle and help out with chores. I lost my job and for 3 months I was searching. I never let myself get idle though. I insisted on driving my wife to her office everyday, then spent the rest of the day trying to make contacts to get a job and taking care of house errands before picking her up after work.
My wife respected me for this, and even though those days weren't easy it was a little bearable and I got through.