Run for your life bro

Arkmanbuddy:


What if the Uncle doesn't have a brother again, just OP as a nephew? We cannot be sentimental about things like this.

Then op will take her as a second wife
That's tradition

clintz:
In the Bible book of genesis 38 God kill Onan for refusing to impregnate his late brothers wife. Nigerian Christians and hypocrisy we select only what we think is right in the Bible.

Bro’s go and read the passage very well, don’t misinterpret the passage please.
He(Onan) was having sex with the bother’s wife Just to satisfy his selfish interests but refuse to come inside the woman by applying withdrawal methods because he knew if she got pregnant the child will be counted his brother own and will answer his late brother's name.
So God kill him because of the Wicked intent of his heart.

od501:



What's the business of the Bible here? This is African tradition as it affects our contemporary society, not some subject of Vatican debate.

people don't know the practices of the bible are the culture of Palestine. Which people imbibe as xtianity .Which religion we imbibed here in Africa and upheld more than the originators.Over there in the Palestine they stil today uphold their culture to the very last. And resist forgein influence unlike we here.that we like to claim the tenants of Christianity and Islam.Am surprised this issue which is very clear has turned now to something else.Am happy a good number of clear minded contributions have given a precise and clear contribution as I did.having asked the man some questions which has been used by other contributors to give proper and sincere advice. Which is the basis of this forum. It is sad that others have used it as an opportunity to ridicule the good hearted woman, the man himself and the culture of ibo land (and the rich cultural heritage of our great nation Nigeria)which guide marriage and all aspects life.these using bringing religion and moral instincts are hypocrites.most marriages today fall victim of breakages and all. Because the basic procedure was never followed through traditional inclinations that is why you see so called married women sleeping about even when so called legal (church) marriage.that is just an instance.even before other contributions started chipping concrete contributions I was direct and precise on the issue.it is rare to see such a good hearted woman as his uncles wife in the first place.whom despite the great desecration of womanhood this present time has strove to uphold her dignity and protect the institution of marriage.

You already knew why you shouldn't do it.

What you can't accept you will contemplate doing it to others. If your wife do it to you will you accept it?

Is your type that will come online to complain that your wife is hiding things from you. This is how you infest and destroy the foundation of your marriage which is trust.

dayorich:
OP, please answer all these questions if you want candid advice...

lastly I want to ask a crucial question.the funeral expenses who footed them, were was ur uncle buried in your place or outside,did the wife partake in the traditional rites, then after the funeral and all what decision did the elders and ur family take on his pty, whom then what decision did they take on the wife and welfare of the children. What tribe is your uncles wife. Then also what tribe is your wife. What religious sect are you.

And who said he must sleep it her? Now listen even if he decides to take her in as a wife, it is not an abomination neither did Bible or Quran condemns it.

Does marriage vow excludes a man from taking another wife? Please educate me on that sir....

Acidosis:


It's not an abomination to sleep with another woman while you're married? It's not an abomination to marry another woman after seeing the magistrate to make your vows?

Just make sure you marry a poorly enlightened village woman from your community while your lazy chiefs are passing that judgement.

Don't go and say this nonsense in a society or family with lawyers and magistrates.

Modesthy:
I had a good uncle who passed away three years ago. His wife morned him for one year. I lived with that my uncle until I got married and parked to my own house.

I use to visit the house sometimes. After the mourning, his wife called me and told me that I should give her more children. She has only one male child. I refused. But She said I should do it for her because she doesn't want children outside the family because she loved my uncle and our family and that she can't continue to stay with only one child.

I'm completely confused. First I'm married doing that is infidelity, sencondly, the uncle was like a father to me before his death. And I see it as a big sin.

Please somebody should help me, what do I do here? How do I handle this issue? Thanks for your candid advice.

Do it..if you’re Igbo man,consult your elders and same time give her the baby.

Please don't do it. It is infidelity on your part as you rightly pointed out. Or do you want to destroy your own marriage?

fairfora:
I guess you're a muslim.

Am a xtian but not a hypocrite like you.

NockMedia:
Please DON'T.
Even if she requests for your sperm without you having to sleep with her... never give in to her demand because it is morally wrong and it can cause chaos in the near future amongst yourselves, especially with your nuclear family.
Have you informed your wife about her ungodly demand?

I totally agree with your submission.

However, telling his wife should be out of this totally. Women can't handle sensitive issues like this, and it would be best he keeps it from her.



Some cultures have room for her request, and he should consult with trusted elders of his family before doing anything.

Common sense is not common!

Acidosis:


God will certainly punish the elders. So OP's wife will just sit back while the stupid elders pass judgement and decide on the need/choice of a second wife?

...read about a man called 'ONAM' in the bible...God punished him cos when he was havin sex with d wife of his late brother he poured his semen outside in other to prevent his late brothers wife from getting pregnant cos he knew d offspring wont bear his name..read Genesis 38 vs 9

michlins:
I have to tell you but there's nothing wrong with what she asked. She told you that she wants the child from within the family and she has stayed to mourn your uncle respectfully.


This is totally in line with our tradition as Igbo people. Even the Bible supports the idea

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You are an intelligent person!
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nick50:
...read about a man called 'ONAM' in the bible...God punished him cos when he was havin sex with d wife of his late brother he poured his semen outside in other to prevent his late brothers wife from getting pregnant cos he knew d offspring wont bear his name..read Genesis 38 vs 9

Onan you mean?

I deliberately ignored your previous posts about Onan. You're pushing a false doctrine you don't even realize some key facts;

First, Onan never had a wife before the instruction from his father to sleep with his sister in law. Meaning Onan, unlike OP, died unmarried.

Second, the instruction to sleep with his sister in law wasn't for the fun if it. The sister in-law never had a child to start with. Both OP and his Uncle got kids.


Read the above again and tell me how this scenario justifies your advice to a married man to ignore his wife at home and go lie with his late uncles wife who already had a child.


When you're done justifying this, I'll then take you up on the old-new testament debate. Sure you're ready for this?

enemyofprogress:
abeg do the thing jo. Help your uncle to finish what he started. A cousin in need is a cousin indeed. I wonder why me I no dey get this kind lock.

Ajepako and vickyrotex if una get this kind contract abeg make una call my number 07055559900. That's my direct line, only dominique has it, please don't give it to anyone especially mynd44.

You need to change your weed dealer..

Sule

Ohizman73:
Am a xtian but not a hypocrite like you.

Don't be upset. By asking does not make me hypocritical, mind you. The last line of your post triggered my suspicion...their church marriage...

Obierika:


You truly understand the Igbo culture!

Sure, lol

lastclaire4:


Dont worry, if u are really a female, may such be done unto to you as you have written.

If you are a Male, if you see it that it is not bad, may such be done unto your sister.

Senseless

frozen70:


Senseless

You refused to Amen? Instead u wan to shift from the issue.

Ohizman73:
lastly I want to ask a crucial question.the funeral expenses who footed them, were was ur uncle buried in your place or outside,did the wife partake in the traditional rites, then after the funeral and all what decision did the elders and ur family take on his pty, whom then what decision did they take on the wife and welfare of the children. What tribe is your uncles wife. Then also what tribe is your wife. What religious sect are you.

But u already passed judgement naww.

lastclaire4:


But u already passed judgement naww.

mind you my major reason for asking the further questions is for the benefit of some contributors who have started to use the mans predicament to ridicule and make mockery of the man , his uncles wife and customs and traditional of our nation which encompasses marriage.As one good contributor claimed there are so many young people giving opinions without being aware of certain norms.already religious sentiments are being brought up which have no basis on the matter.am also happy some contributors who are are ibo by origin have given their contribution and these not even ibo . But having related customs.am happy a Yoruba man chipped in. Am from edo, and we have a related issue to that which is very clear and direct which church has no say on that.in our place marriage is bounded by traditional antics wether you do church marriage. It is not the business of the community.Then in the event of this situation it is not binding on the man. It is left for his free will . So don't claim I have passed judgement already. My contribution has been based on circumstances and traditional antics. You would see I asked some questions which many contributors based their response. But I was very careful not to use religion as a focal point. Despite the fact am a xtian but not a bigot and hypocrite.and have indept knowledge of my religion and can't be deceived by pastors and prophets. You can see I reply some religious hypocrites. I pray no woman falls victim of losing her husband without consuming her marriage to the fullest.nor the any man being hand twisted to such a situation. Tank you and Jah blessings.

alot has been said about the issue, but lets try viewing it from different prospectives
1st. traditionally it's no wrong to do such as the igbo culture may have it, kins help relatives to procreate
2nd. religiously going by biblical account of the children of jacob, it was approved,
deut 25:5 If brothers are living together and one of them dies without a son, his widow must not marry outside the family. Her husband’s brother shall take her and marry her and fulfill the duty of a brother-in-law to her. 6 The first son she bears shall carry on the name of the dead brother so that his name will not be blotted out from Israel.
7 However, if a man does not want to marry his brother’s wife, she shall go to the elders at the town gate and say, “My husband’s brother refuses to carry on his brother’s name in Israel. He will not fulfill the duty of a brother-in-law to me.”
8 Then the elders of his town shall summon him and talk to him. If he persists in saying, “I do not want to marry her,”
9 his brother’s widow shall go up to him in the presence of the elders, take off one of his sandals, spit in his face and say, “This is what is done to the man who will not build up his brother’s family line.”
10 That man’s line shall be known in Israel as The Family of the Unsandaled.
3rd. presently with civilisation that would be a difficult task as women now claim ownership of husband in name of monogamy, hence no woman wants to share her man .
its left to the guy in question to decide after considering the impact on his immediate family. but culturally speaking it's a norm to do such

AKAFINA101:


Please Read the Bible Very Well, God did put Onan to Death because he slept with her brother wife but refuse to put the semen into her, that makes God angry to kill him. if he refuse to slept with his late brother wife God will not have kill him.

God killed Onan because he refused putting his semen inside his brother's wife. Such an act amounts to refusing to sleep with her, either ways God would have killed him.

Lionessza6:
Don't complicate your life,respect your wife & your marriage, and you shall have peace of mind. What she is suggesting does happen in some cultures, but the woman usually talks to the elders 1st,and they are the ones that will recommend her the right* sperm donor in the family. What she is doing is creepy,sneaky and suspicious. One is left to think she was lusting over you all this while,& your uncle was a deterrent . Maybe she wants a younger man to awaken her senses ,and her need for another child is just an excuse to lure you into her web of deceit. Becareful with such people.

Bross I believe you dieeee... That woman fit don kill her husband sef

fairfora:
Don't be upset. By asking does not make me hypocritical, mind you. The last line of your post triggered my suspicion...their church marriage...

Am not upset I just hate religious bigotry.

please her request is not devilish as you think,it is an old practice in igboland,in igboland the bride price we pay for a woman is for how fertility and there is no room for paternity test which is strange in Igbo culture,if you can do it in this modern time,you should consult your family members.hmm,how culture flies away.

fulaniHERDSman:
Do not complicate your life. In life, the more simple, common and innocent, the better.

wow, this is a legendary advise. I will never forget this bro

U really spoke to me

Make sure that she has not been lusting over you all this while because ikuchi nwanyi simply means inu nwanyi abuo. No two ways about it. Are you ready to deal with the dramas? 30-40 years ago, it sounds so interesting but nowadays, it is very distateful to even think about it.

Do not complicate an already complicated life. Keep life simple. Culture or no culture, this is wrong and thats why you are here because your conscience is telling you that what she is requesting for is wrong. She can't eat her cake and have it. If she wants to continue in the family, she should make do with what she has or she can adopt if she wants or remarry.

You are married and two has become one, every decisions that will affect your marriage now and in future will be made and mutually agreed between you and your wife.

Anybody quoting Onan in the bible, forgot to mention that Onan was not married when he was assigned to sleep with his sister-in-law.

If you have made up your mind to spread your seeds everywhere all in the name of culture, be rest assured that if your wife is vengeful, you will be training other men's kids too.

@op,
So many people have spoken wisely, but you need to ask yourself these questions:

1. Why was she unable to get pregnant after the first child?

2. If the sole aim is to have more children, what is the probability that she will get pregnant for you when she is been TTC - trying to conceive for 8 -10 years without success

3. Will this not raise suspicion that you have been eyeing the woman before the demise of your uncle or people will think you have been sleeping with her secretly when your uncle was alive?

4. Will people not say that you contributed to your uncle's death so as to inherit his wife fully?

5. How will your wife feel about the whole issue?


Think about those questions and take decision.

For me, I will advice you to free the woman and just be supporting her and defend her against family aggression that may come up.

Good luck