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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity (7366 Views)
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Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Nobody: 9:01pm On May 24, 2020 |
Jullima:No man or woman is expected to raise a love child. Love child of a man can be raised outside the marriage, the babymama will wholeheartedly take care of her kid. As for the bastard child, yes the child from the woman is a bastard as long as that child is in the wrong family disrupting their DNA and family tree. If the woman doesnt want her love child to be termed a bastard she should do right and give the child to the rightful father, then that child will not be termed a bastard child in his fathers family. Kids of unmarried couple are not bastards according to my culture. Kids of davido, wizkid, and all other popular baby daddies arent bastard children as long as they are TRUE children of their fathers. 1 Like |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Jullima(f): 9:07pm On May 24, 2020 |
rockstarB:Is the child still disrupting the family tree if he/she bears the name of his/her father? Why is the child of the cheating woman not the TRUE child of his own biological father? Remember let’s try to stick the OP. 13 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Nobody: 9:08pm On May 24, 2020 |
Harshreality: ![]() ![]() How many single ladies will get pregnant, have a child for a married man and go dump the child with his wife? I can be sure that many of these married men babymamas doesnt even want their kids raised by the wife of the man. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Babymamas(f): 9:10pm On May 24, 2020 |
rockstarB:yes of course, but we can still help men out |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Nobody: 9:12pm On May 24, 2020 |
Romangalactic: Lol. You know say I must get mouth for the matter. ![]() Very simple, it has to do with returns on investment. We Africans believe that children are investments that will yield returns in our old age. Investing in another man's child is synonymous with throwing away your resources in the dustbin because such a child isn't yours and therefore will not yield investments to you but towards his biological father. And BTW, Everytime you look at that child, you will be reminded of the woman's infidelity. And the more you are reminded of it, the more you will keep growing in hate. So in a nutshell, such a child is not a profitable investment to a man. Daz all. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Nobody: 9:13pm On May 24, 2020 |
Jullima:The child is equally the child of his true father ![]() |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Nobody: 9:13pm On May 24, 2020 |
Babymamas:Lol Funny name you got. |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by bukatyne(f): 9:19pm On May 24, 2020 |
2 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by sweetmelanin(f): 9:21pm On May 24, 2020 |
Kingarthur21: Why are you so pained and childish.. stop derailing this thread please 5 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by CAPSLOCKED: 9:22pm On May 24, 2020 |
PLEAD. |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Hathor5(f): 9:32pm On May 24, 2020 |
So if I can afford to take care of the child by myself, I can bring it. Ok, good to know. 8 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Ibadiaran19: 9:32pm On May 24, 2020 |
Romangalactic: Wives do keep jobs in Nigeria, and the love child also has a father. They will both contribute to the upkeep of their child. 5 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Babymamas(f): 9:44pm On May 24, 2020 |
rockstarB:that's how we roll |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Babymamas(f): 9:55pm On May 24, 2020 |
rockstarB:why did you mention me na |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Nobody: 10:04pm On May 24, 2020 |
bukatyne:Actually, i have thought deep about this case. Yes, the child is acceptable to the family if the man decides otherwise in my place. The same way children born out of wedlock solely belong to the woman irrespective of who the father is. The family opposite my house in the village had a case like this. They had 4 kids. Then wifey got pregnant like 12 yrs after the last. News started flying around. Wifey had before stopped the husband from touching her but has a secret boyfriend. So when she got pregnant, she came to her husband but his brothers are already aware and told the man toreject her advances. She was exposed but the man refused to divorce her. She gave birth to a very beautiful baby girl. This man loved this girl more than all his kids. The father is from.the neborhood but has no claim on that child as long as the man is still married to the woman. Actually, as long as you are married, any child you have while married irrespective of who the father is belong to the husband. We don't reject children at all and we quickly integrate them into the family. Anybody reading this and say yes will know where i came from instantly. I dont know how other parts of my tribe does theirs. The first post I made is a general post but I have narrowed it down to how it is done in my place A man who gives a woman belle married or not don't get to get ownership of that child. The only exception is when she is still single and the man marry her with the belle. Weird and funny at the same time. Our tradition and culture protects the female more than the male and we are in Nigeria ![]() |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Mstick: 10:22pm On May 24, 2020 |
@sassysure you're 100% right. Am sure in this our macho nairaland world the husbands will be called simps but if we're very honest with ourselves in Nigeria several men are taking care of kids their wives birthed with other men. Even one that's very obvious the girl isn't his child because she's mixed race but he has been the one looking after her from the word go and they had other kids after her. The actress Nadia buari is in the same boat. Let's keep ranting online. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Nobody: 10:24pm On May 24, 2020 |
Jullima:Well, I replied based on what our society believes in and practice. I got you. Yes, the word bastard is meant for the both of them but because society tend to favour men more than women and easily integrate the child from.the man's side, the woman is disadvantaged. That's why I said cultural norm. In my place, if I should narrow it down, that child belong to the husband. People came for my head here sometime ago when I said a child born out of wedlock solely belong to the mother in my place. Yes, our culture actually protect the female folk. Don't even know the origin but I grew up to see this being practiced and it's still there. A man who gives a woman belle in my place is a sperm donor, nothing more. If the husband divorces( hardly done) the wife, that child remains. Even if the dad is living next compound. Crazy tradition but it works for them. It has it's pros and cons. The man who brings in his love child and his wife who gave birth to a love child have equal right. The children all belong to the family. The kinsmen will settle their fukk up but the children stays. More cleansing and punishment for the lady from.what I heard and saw( witnessed one when I was growing up). Such child is called urunwa. Then Obi a dì ajù nwa., nwa bù nwa òra nile, nwa bù eze, etc are names solidifying the fact that a family don't reject a child irrespective of how they came. |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Romangalactic(m): 10:31pm On May 24, 2020 |
rockstarB:Thanks for this analysis dear. You have opened my eyes to another angle that has nothing to do with finance and this family tree (DNA) disruption in a patrillineal society like Nigeria is very valid. 1 Like |
Re: Why Men Find It Hard Accepting Children Their Wives Had From Infidelity by Romangalactic(m): 10:33pm On May 24, 2020 |
Ibadiaran19:You mean the biological father? Good. But if the woman decides to raise the child as her husbands,she should contribute more, at least 90%. It's her lovechild. |
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