Romangalactic:

Which part of Igbo land are you from please?

Peter obi/ Soludo side.

sassysure:

Peter obi/ Soludo side.

Where in Anambra exactly? I just know Peter Obi is from Anambra.

Romangalactic:

If you take a moment to move past my word choices & sentences and maybe just try to explain why it's easier for women to accept a lovechild as opposed to men, you will begin to see what the OP is about.

Forget about me using finances as my reason. Lots of other people have brought up other reasons besides finance but you're stuck on my word arrangement.

Your word choices are essentially the reason why the thread exists in the first place, I'm responding to the foundation your words set

If I want to also engage in dialogue with other contributors, that's different

Romangalactic:

Wow, you're saying the man must accept his wife's lovechild I have never heard of it before. Which part of Igbo are you from

U are very funny.

That's why I said people should not rope all cultures together as we have different practices.
We don't give out children born out of wedlock too to the father. It's crazy but that's the truth. Even if u live next door. My mum showed me a child my late dad fathered while he was single
That guy resemble us very well. Seems he knew cos he used to call me his wife. I hated him so much then as a kid but he is always teasing me like a brother teases his kid sister. Any childish insult i haul at him for calling me his wife, he will just laugh and if opportunity arises, he will want to prove that I meant something to him. The guy was very fond of me and it was unusual until l learnt he is my father's child
Shuuu.

Romangalactic:

Where in Anambra exactly? I just know Peter Obi is from Anambra.

U should have googled him na.

sassysure:


U should have googled him na.

Okay, Onitsha. I have people I can ask then.
The idea that a husband must accept a child his wife bore from her infidelity is very hard to believe.

ibkayee:

You word choices are essentially the reason why the thread exists in the first place, I'm responding to the foundation your words set

If I want to also engage in dialogue with other contributors, that's different

You like to dwell.
Some other contributors were able to overlook my word choices and personal reasons and then went on to offer up good reasons outside finance or me believing it is a man's right to bring in a lovechild. There is no need to analyse specific words, sentences, and the foundations they set when there's a larger point to be seen. you're not Maya Angelou.

bukatyne:


Ok, it means beautiful / beauty.

Really? I assumed it was just an exclamation. Thanks

Romangalactic:

You like to dwell. Some other contributors were able to overlook my word choices and personal reasons and then went on to offer up good reasons outside finance or me believing it is a man's right to bring in a lovechild. There is no need to analyse words, sentences, and the foundations they set, you're not Maya Angelou.

Lol I answered the way I wanted and you'll be alright

ibkayee:

Lol I answered the way I wanted and you'll be alright

Okay, so in your opinion why do men find it hard accepting children their wives had from infidelity?

Romangalactic:

Okay, so in your opinion why do men find it hard accepting children their wives had from infidelity?

It's a horrible thing to go through, I can't be bothered to list why accepting it is difficult, it's pretty self-explanatory, anyone would find it hard...

The issue is despite it being so hard to them, why do a good portion of them so flippantly expect their wives to handle it any better

ibkayee:

It's a horrible thing to go through, I can't be bothered to list why accepting it is difficult, it's pretty self-explanatory, anyone would find it hard...

The issue is despite it being so hard to them, why do a good portion of them so flippantly expect their wives to handle it any better

Entitlement .

Kingarthur21:
we are not talking about deception by the woman here.
We are talking about a woman bringing a kid that is not his and being honest about it(my dear husband,when you were abroad , I made a mistake and I am pregnant ) versus a Man bringing a kid that is not hers.
What is the difference?

No one is comparing paternity fraud with a love child because the former is purely deceit! We are comparing a love child from a man and a love child from a woman(with no deceit).

Why do think one is more tolerable than another?

You are woman(except you are a male behind this moniker),you should know better that raising a child is not just a man dropping money. If a man brings in a love child will the lady not nurture,groom and take care of the child?you think flinging cash is more than bathing a kid thrice a day,watching over the kid feeding the kid,,sleeping with the kid when admitted in the hospital(most men cant do such), changing nappies at night etc

As a single father(I am engaged to the mother of my kid though),he came to spend last Christmas with me,it was hell. He will climb everywhere,put my phone in the toilet,switch on the gas,not to talk of him waking up at night severally..I just couldn't do anything, I was tied down. I realised that taking care of a child is worth more than the money I send monthly for his upkeep.


So please concisely state the difference between a love child from a man and a love child from a woman,if both are honest about it!

Good realization on you.
It will definitely make you a better dad for it

cococandy:


Entitlement .

Bingo

cococandy:


Entitlement .

Ego...

Hathor5:
So if I can afford to take care of the child by myself, I can bring it. Ok, good to know.

Same response I gave him on the original thread that caused him to come and create this one.

The money argument falls so flat on it’s face.
Do female breadwinners automatically have “the right” like he puts it to bring in love children from outside?

I guess the answer is yes

@bold, This is also my culture.

And I think it’s unfair to the side guy ( yes I know. whatever). But I think people have a right to their children. Even if the kids came from a married woman.

sassysure:

Actually, i have thought deep about this case. Yes, the child is acceptable to the family if the man decides otherwise in my place.
The same way children born out of wedlock solely belong to the woman irrespective of who the father is. The family opposite my house in the village had a case like this.
They had 4 kids. Then wifey got pregnant like 12 yrs after the last. News started flying around. Wifey had before stopped the husband from touching her but has a secret boyfriend. So when she got pregnant, she came to her husband but his brothers are already aware and told the man toreject her advances. She was exposed but the man refused to divorce her. She gave birth to a very beautiful baby girl. This man loved this girl more than all his kids. The father is from.the neborhood but has no claim on that child as long as the man is still married to the woman. Actually, as long as you are married, any child you have while married irrespective of who the father is belong to the husband.

We don't reject children at all and we quickly integrate them into the family.
Anybody reading this and say yes will know where i came from instantly.
I dont know how other parts of my tribe does theirs.

The first post I made is a general post but I have narrowed it down to how it is done in my place

A man who gives a woman belle married or not don't get to get ownership of that child. The only exception is when she is still single and the man marry her with the belle. Weird and funny at the same time.
Our tradition and culture protects the female more than the male and we are in Nigeria

sassysure:

Peter obi/ Soludo side.

What kind of confusionist are you? You should be aware that there are people reading this post and making observations, even if they decide not to comment. The young man specifically asked you what part of Anambra state are from? You couldn't answer, instead you waffled "Peter Obi/Soludo side" gibberish. Perhaps these are the famous names you know that are from Anambra.

Since you are so ashamed to state where you come from, you don't have the right to miseducate people. Peter Obi and Soludo do not hail from the same side in Anambra, not the same local government or even senatorial district. While Solude is from Aguata LGA in Anambra South Senatorial District, Peter Obi is from Agulu in Anaocha LGA, in Anambra Central Senatorial District. The question remains, where are you from?

ibkayee:

It's a horrible thing to go through, I can't be bothered to list why accepting it is difficult, it's pretty self-explanatory, anyone would find it hard...

The issue is despite it being so hard to them, why do a good portion of them so flippantly expect their wives to handle it any better

This was already broken down by a lot of people like pdudd, bukatyne,rockstarB, acidosis, and others. at least go through the pages. There are very different situations involved overall.many moving parts.

Summarizing the reason as just entitlement or ego is too oversimplified for an analytical Maya Angelou.

Hathor5:
So if I can afford to take care of the child by myself, I can bring it. Ok, good to know.

I missed this until I saw cococondy riding on things she doesn't understand as usual. From my first post, I already stated that if a woman agrees to be financially responsible for her lovechild with at least 90% contribution,then yes I'm up for it. I don't even want to be the one paying the child's school fees.
The reason I said that is because I know that there is no single Nigerian woman who will agree to this arrangement because you all like a man to be the one doing more financially, so then she is left with the only choice of going back to who impregnated her or just exiting the marriage.

That my condition is for women to arrive at one conclusion and that is to bounce.

Think.

mrblessed:
What kind of confusionist are you? You should be aware that there are people reading this post and making observations, even if they decide not to comment. The young man specifically asked you what part of Anambra state are from? You couldn't answer, instead you waffled "Peter Obi/Soludo side" gibberish. Perhaps these are the famous names you know that are from Anambra.

Since you are so ashamed to state where you come from, you don't have the right to miseducate people. Peter Obi and Soludo do not hail from the same side in Anambra, not the same local government or even senatorial district. While Solude is from Aguata LGA in Anambra South Senatorial District, Peter Obi is from Agulu in Anaocha LGA, in Anambra Central Senatorial District. The question remains, where are you from?

I don't even understand that woman, just to say where she's from and she sent me on a wild goose chase. I really need to know the place in Nigeria where a man will be forced to accept his wife's lovechild from infidelity by his kinsmen.

It is just too unbelievable to be believable.

descartes400:


For me, I prefer the woman should not be required or forced to accept her husband's love child and to bring home such. She should do so from her own volition and if she decides against it, it should not be held against her.
It's not her responsibility to take care of her husband's evidence of infidelity.

Then they come and cry when the child is being maltreated by the stepmother. It's blackmail and double standards

Romangalactic:

I don't even understand that woman, just to say where she's from and she sent me on a wild goose chase. I really need to know the place in Nigeria where a man will be forced to accept his wife's lovechild from infidelity by his kinsmen.

It is just too unbelievable to be believable.

Kindly ignore the half-truths that effortlessly flow out of her mouth, or is it her hand self. Nowhere in Igbo land is a man compel to accept a child he didn't father. If a man decides to accept a child he didn't father, he does so at his discretion, not because some laughably nonexistent Umunna wills it on him.

Kingarthur21:
we are not talking about deception by the woman here.
We are talking about a woman bringing a kid that is not his and being honest about it(my dear husband,when you were abroad , I made a mistake and I am pregnant ) versus a Man bringing a kid that is not hers.
What is the difference?

No one is comparing paternity fraud with a love child because the former is purely deceit! We are comparing a love child from a man and a love child from a woman(with no deceit).

Why do think one is more tolerable than another?

You are woman(except you are a male behind this moniker),you should know better that raising a child is not just a man dropping money. If a man brings in a love child will the lady not nurture,groom and take care of the child?you think flinging cash is more than bathing a kid thrice a day,watching over the kid feeding the kid,,sleeping with the kid when admitted in the hospital(most men cant do such), changing nappies at night etc

As a single father(I am engaged to the mother of my kid though),he came to spend last Christmas with me,it was hell. He will climb everywhere,put my phone in the toilet,switch on the gas,not to talk of him waking up at night severally..I just couldn't do anything, I was tied down. I realised that taking care of a child is worth more than the money I send monthly for his upkeep.


So please concisely state the difference between a love child from a man and a love child from a woman,if both are honest about it!

double standards

bukatyne:


If you as a man does not understand the essence of family trees and DNA disruption as you put it, it is a shame.

It is not 21st century gibberish, it is fact.

family tree, to contribute what exactly?

Family tree that cannot contribute to society, is that one worth existing?

Kingarthur21:
now I understand why ladies came for your head in the family section.

I dont blame them for it.

Talking of fact . I am a medical doctor,upper year I will be through with my residency and become a surgeon over here in Texas .So dont tell me what is fact and not fact.

women, we are our worst enemies, especially the enablers of double standards and sexist behavior.


This is quite exhausting.

Jullima:

Looolll so when a man has a child outside his own child is not a ‘bastar**d’ but a woman’s outside child is a ‘bastar***d’??

Also, so you’re saying children with different father but same mother aren’t siblings but children with same father but different mother are siblings??

If the mother drops her outside child with the father is she still welcomed in the marriage?

Lmfao

as in, make it make sense.
The fuckery

Kingarthur21:
a man whose wife has held him back from realising his goals is who is calling another a mangina?

Rot in the jealousy you have for us doctors over here,we dont need dummies like you working with us

Lol

funmisticqueen2:
family tree, to contribute what exactly?

Family tree that cannot contribute to society, is that one worth existing?

Are you saying it is not important?

rockstarB:

A woman that decides to go on a 9 months pregnancy journey for a married man sure wants to keep that child, and will raise that child regardless of whether he wants to be a part of his life or not
How many single ladies will get pregnant, have a child for a married man and go dump the child with his wife? I can be sure that many of these married men babymamas doesnt even want their kids raised by the wife of the man.

the wife will kill that child.

God knows i will never accept any child of my husband's infidelity into my home. That child is a going to be salt to injury.

Never!!

Mariangeles:


Are you saying it is not important?

it is not

funmisticqueen2:
it is not

OK.
Where I come from, somewhere in southeast Nigeria, it is very important.