JeffreyD1:
She should remarry

you think to find another husband is easy, the unmarried girls are attending Shiloh yearly for God's intervention. Some family gives the widow to either the man's uncle or a younger brother depending on culture

Modesthy:


I'm Igbo and 37 years. She is 42 and her son is 12 years while my uncle was 51 years when he died.

I will advice you to inform the family. The family will definitely do something about it, body no be firewood. Because if she go out to meet another man without the family's consent they will call her names, Africans and hypocrisy are 5 & 6

Ohizman73:

Good enough an ibo person here has chiped in a word on the cultural aspect and the bitter truth. it is not the womans fault to fall into such predicament of losing the love of her life at his prime. with the age ,the woman has all claim to make such request. do you know expect her at that age to go and look for a new husband. moreover she is already approaching menopause fast.it is also not her fault that she did not give birth to another child during the 12 years interval she gave birth to her only child. since you stayed with them you should know better. however this matter still lie your uncles kin. it doesnt mean sleeping with her physically ,if you dont relish the idea. you can donate sperm,

you are very correct, God bless you.forget those hypocrites.

Avoid the woman, she is evil,if you try it, you will die and follow your uncle .

Modesthy:

Nobody forces anybody on a woman in my place. The advice I need is just based on conscience because I use to see the woman as somehow a mother and my uncle as a father. And moreso I'm a Christian. These were the reason I objected. But she keep telling me that I should think about her condition of having only one child.

you are a Christian and you don't even have vast knowledge of the Bible. Gen 38. You are her new husband based on tradition if the elders say so

sassysure:

Cunny man die funny man bury am

Had to debunk these lies cos some people will get themselves into trouble one day after reading this

Besides, my mum was a young widow so I knew first hand this is cock and bull.

Man can do, say and believe anything bc of free pusssy

I hope you still visit your villa from abroad during the holidays.

Hancycool111:
This is a matter of choice,a battle between faith and tradition. wisdom is profitable to direct.

there is nothing of faith or religion here. The people of Palestine which xtianity originated from which religion we are clinging to. They have their own tradition which are well elaborated in the bible. The bible is more of the history book of the Israelis during the ancient times. Some history and culture of the Egyptians were even elaborated here. There is so much hypocrisy in religion here in Nigeria. They so many people are claiming here that indirectly he's taking a second wife. Which is wrong in xtianity. Most pastors in Nigeria have more than one wives nobody or their congregation condemned them that it is against xtianity. A majority of Nigerian xtianity men have marital affairs outside matrimonial home nobody conderms such that it is adultery . people would hush their complaining wives that men are allowed such privileges.Like ave been stating we should just pray that we should not fall into such circumstances of losing our spouses at the very prime of marital bliss.

Ohizman73:
lastly I want to ask a crucial question.the funeral expenses who footed them, were was ur uncle buried in your place or outside,did the wife partake in the traditional rites, then after the funeral and all what decision did the elders and ur family take on his pty, whom then what decision did they take on the wife and welfare of the children. What tribe is your uncles wife. Then also what tribe is your wife. What religious sect are you.

Nobody have access to my uncle's Pty. You don't discusse about the property of a dead man who had a wife. His widow automatically has control of all that. Funeral expenses in Igbo is shared among relatives but the immediate family contribute more. All of us are from the same community.

Modesthy:

Nobody have access to my uncle's Pty. You don't discusse about the property of a dead man who had a wife. His widow automatically has control of all that. Funeral expenses in Igbo is shared among relatives but the immediate family contribute more. All of us are from the same community.

Thank you the reason for asking this questions is as regards the sensitivity of the subject matter you have brought to the forum. as you are aware the polarity of the issue has heated up.And quite unfourtunate that some contributors ave used it as an oppourtunity to ridicle you and your uncles wife. i dont need to quote some statements they are very disheartning and embarrasing.some contributors have also started insulting other contributors .of course i very well know some possible answers to some questions as my culture in edo is related to your own in ibo land. there is a good reason i asked because there are some issues you might not know as regards your kins interest on the welfare of your uncles wife and his pty. you might pressume certain things but kindly note acess is different from interest. then since you claimed the funeral expences were shared by the kin that means they partook in the funeral and as well by tradition have a say on the future of his family.What did the elders decide on the fate of his wife and his intersts. in our place after the stipulated period of mourning period and all. the kin of the man who is late assemble and delibrate on the way forward they would ask the woman her plan and also take a binding decision on her fate and other related interests. the first son of the man is handed over to the wife. if the first son is underaged or he has a daughter a kin is chosen to continue the mans interests asuch most especially if the woman is still young. the woman is not forced if she refuses she is free to find her way with some conditions.The conditions vary from place to place. but one thing if the woman intends to stay with the caprices of the mans interest of cause she dare not start messing around with different men or remarry a totally different person and still use the husbands name or property.. in some cases if she refuses the mans children are collected and handed over to one of the mans brothers as his own child.All this is done to protect the interests of their brother on his demise. it is seems your uncles wife is under some sort of pressure from your uncles kin to have quickly made herself a sacrificial lamb. knowing fully well the cultural whims involved.I in particular as some other good contributors have done their best ,you own the onus . you have stated in answer to one of my questions is that you believe ur uncles wife motive is for procreation.i wish you the very best and i am willing to still give more technical advice on the issue. how i wish i can hear ur uncles side of the story. it would also bring out relevant. her claiming you should have sympathy for her condition is more than you think. from what i pressure based on my professional inclination i manage and analyz information as a profession if you must know.Any decision you take in the end is best known to you,its your problem and family.

Jesuisbelle:
Avoid the woman, she is evil,if you try it, you will die and follow your uncle .

stop ridiculing and insulting the man. this forum is not meant for such

Acme45:
you are a Christian and you don't even have vast knowledge of the Bible. Gen 38. You are her new husband based on tradition if the elders say so

when jesus was about giving up he told his brothers (disciples) to take care of his mother and assume said responsibility as her husband would have done.

kyng:

Then op will take her as a second wife
That's tradition

even if the uncle still has a brother they can still delegate a kin they feel is also close as his nephew

Modesthy:


I'm Igbo and 37 years. She is 42 and her son is 12 years while my uncle was 51 years when he died.

Is not as bad as people are making it sound BTW its not new in Igbo land and I think for the woman saying that she's doesn't want an outsider to impregnate her Is a wise decisions, it shows that she's not wayward and she doesn't want to bring another blood to your family lineage...... If she go outside na , if una come get thief or this terrible health related sickness to una lineage people no go enter una family come marry o..

Modesthy:

Nobody forces anybody on a woman in my place. The advice I need is just based on conscience because I use to see the woman as somehow a mother and my uncle as a father. And moreso I'm a Christian. These were the reason I objected. But she keep telling me that I should think about her condition of having only one child.

Please kindly think of her conditions, sincerely I believed that she's not a bad or wayward woman for her to stay with your uncle despite his sickness of which I don't know how long he has been sick but sincerely I felt she's a good woman for wanting to have a child within your family without going out.... She's only doing this for procreation....

It's not a Good situation for her having only one child , me na only son I bi despite having another kid sister but you no go believe say mama go die immediately if anything happens to me ..... I can't do or engage on things my fellow countrymen dey do for here coz once I remember how mama go feel if anything goes wrong, Sir kindly help her even say na IVF .

Ohizman73:

Thank you the reason for asking this questions is as regards the sensitivity of the subject matter you have brought to the forum. as you are aware the polarity of the issue has heated up.And quite unfourtunate that some contributors ave used it as an oppourtunity to ridicle you and your uncles wife. i dont need to quote some statements they are very disheartning and embarrasing.some contributors have also started insulting other contributors .of course i very well know some possible answers to some questions as my culture in edo is related to your own in ibo land. there is a good reason i asked because there are some issues you might not know as regards your kins interest on the welfare of your uncles wife and his pty. you might pressume certain things but kindly note acess is different from interest. then since you claimed the funeral expences were shared by the kin that means they partook in the funeral and as well by tradition have a say on the future of his family.What did the elders decide on the fate of his wife and his intersts. in our place after the stipulated period of mourning period and all. the kin of the man who is late assemble and delibrate on the way forward they would ask the woman her plan and also take a binding decision on her fate and other related interests. the first son of the man is handed over to the wife. if the first son is underaged or he has a daughter a kin is chosen to continue the mans interests asuch most especially if the woman is still young. the woman is not forced if she refuses she is free to find her way with some conditions.The conditions vary from place to place. but one thing if the woman intends to stay with the caprices of the mans interest of cause she dare not start messing around with different men or remarry a totally different person and still use the husbands name or property.. in some cases if she refuses the mans children are collected and handed over to one of the mans brothers as his own child.All this is done to protect the interests of their brother on his demise. it is seems your uncles wife is under some sort of pressure from your uncles kin to have quickly made herself a sacrificial lamb. knowing fully well the cultural whims involved.I in particular as some other good contributors have done their best ,you own the onus . you have stated in answer to one of my questions is that you believe ur uncles wife motive is for procreation.i wish you the very best and i am willing to still give more technical advice on the issue. how i wish i can hear ur uncles side of the story. it would also bring out relevant. her claiming you should have sympathy for her condition is more than you think. from what i pressure based on my professional inclination i manage and analyz information as a profession if you must know.Any decision you take in the end is best known to you,its your problem and family.

How I wish this man will go through all your advice here despite be an EDO man you too more of Igbo man as well... Thanks so much for your contributions it shows that some people still care about tradition and culture in this our time.

MPESA:



How I wish this man will go through all your advice here despite be an EDO man you too more of Igbo man as well... Thanks so much for your contributions it shows that some people still care about tradition and culture in this our time.

tanks it is now left for the man it is not about being edo or ibo. I stay in the west and they also have a similar tradition relating to these . I was happy a Yoruba man had chip in too. This is also about doing things in the right manner and following due norms.young people especially girls should be of well brought up and behave fine.Marriage is the last bus top for doing fine and big girl , marriage is not a child's play and about sex. There are procedures that have to be followed before our parents insist on certain principles when their wards are to get married they are not fools. This is to prevent some unfortunate circumstances and when they happen they are remedies and amends to every issue no matter how complicated.all though I was brought up away from my community . There was a time I even followed my father on diplomatic service outside the country. I noticed my father despite well learnt kept in touch with his roots and made us speak our native language. Much later when he retired he made us stay at home for some while. In this process we learnt much of our culture even though we were xtian.like ave stressed even the biblical Israelites had their local traditions and culture apart from their traditional religion Judaism which they still follow till date even with the advent of xtianity.the woman since is from the same place knows their culture and is loyal to their brother . They should be happy with that compare to the behaviour of the sham and glam we see today.we have done our best asuch. If the mans children were of age it would have been a different thing entirely.

MPESA:



How I wish this man will go through all your advice here despite be an EDO man you too more of Igbo man as well... Thanks so much for your contributions it shows that some people still care about tradition and culture in this our time.

I read every single advice here and I value them all. I'm thankful to everyone. It will help build up my confidence in whatever decision I will take later. Some people are thinking it is a joke. But I want to assure them that it is not a joke. Before this issue came up, I have account with nairaland. But because of the nature of this issue, I created fresh account. I'm so so surprise this will generate so much interest from nairalanders. Finally, I thank everyone for your contribution, even those who mocked us, those who insulted us and those who used kind words on us. This world is like standing fan which blows one side and then turns to another side. Try to be your brother's keep in any condition because u don't know what tomorrow will be. Thanks.

Modesthy:


I read every single advice here and I value them all. I'm thankful to everyone. It will help build up my confidence in whatever decision I will take later. Some people are thinking it is a joke. But I want to assure them that it is not a joke. Before this issue came up, I have account with nairaland. But because of the nature of this issue, I created fresh account. I'm so so surprise this will generate so much interest from nairalanders. Finally, I thank everyone for your contribution, even those who mocked us, those who insulted us and those who used kind words on us. This world is like standing fan which blows one side and then turns to another side. Try to be your brother's keep in any condition because u don't know what tomorrow will be. Thanks.

Sure you ever welcome ,our contribution was to indeed help you to take te best decision ever. he is your uncle not mine. the best we could do was to try and act as a brothers keeper. although ave been in the forum ave been observing wit interst said issues. but i was forced to contribute first time ever as i was touched by your issue. and wanted to give precise and truthful advice. as i have noticed most of the contributors here always mock and insult complainants. this trend has to stop and be checked by the owners of the nairaland.i wish you the best......... cheers

As a widow she is free to remarry and have gazillion children from her ovaries. You too stay put in your house with your wife and family, stop going to see a vulnerable woman who will be making demands of you. A woman who hasn't gbenshed in 3yrs since her hubby died.

If you sit your butt at home with ur wife and family. She can't come pull you from under your wife for more babies. Don't go dangling your penis to a hungry woman.


Tell her to go remarry if na babies dey do her. Don't you know if you father a child with her. You also become responsible for that child and her also?


Na everything dem dey carry come social media for advice? Biko commot make I see road wear my face mask

Modesthy:


I read every single advice here and I value them all. I'm thankful to everyone. It will help build up my confidence in whatever decision I will take later. Some people are thinking it is a joke. But I want to assure them that it is not a joke. Before this issue came up, I have account with nairaland. But because of the nature of this issue, I created fresh account. I'm so so surprise this will generate so much interest from nairalanders. Finally, I thank everyone for your contribution, even those who mocked us, those who insulted us and those who used kind words on us. This world is like standing fan which blows one side and then turns to another side. Try to be your brother's keep in any condition because u don't know what tomorrow will be. Thanks.

Looks like u want to make babies with her but you are looking for who to support.

I pray you never come back here crying because of two wives. From your words, u are already imagining how it is going to taste like. Onan in the bible did cos he was never married. There is just a thin line between culture and paganism.

Ohizman73:
there is nothing of faith or religion here. The people of Palestine which xtianity originated from which religion we are clinging to. They have their own tradition which are well elaborated in the bible. The bible is more of the history book of the Israelis during the ancient times. Some history and culture of the Egyptians were even elaborated here. There is so much hypocrisy in religion here in Nigeria. They so many people are claiming here that indirectly he's taking a second wife. Which is wrong in xtianity. Most pastors in Nigeria have more than one wives nobody or their congregation condemned them that it is against xtianity. A majority of Nigerian xtianity men have marital affairs outside matrimonial home nobody conderms such that it is adultery . people would hush their complaining wives that men are allowed such privileges.Like ave been stating we should just pray that we should not fall into such circumstances of losing our spouses at the very prime of marital bliss.

How can you write Christianity originated from Palestine and not Israel? Were there Palestine during the time of Christ? When Jesus was born in Bethlehem, was it a Palestinian territory? Was it not the Romans that renamed Judea and Samaria and the whole of Israel Palestine? Have you ever seen a history of Palestine that did not begin with the creation of Israel in 1948? Even with that, it is a known that the land of Israel was conquered by many foreign powers, the last being the Ottomans before European colonialism.

The so-called Palestinians are Arabs who migrated and settled in Israel, since the Jews were on exile for hundreds of thousands of centuries. That was why Israel had to defeat Jordan to takeover West Bank and Jerusalem, defeat Egypt to control Sinai Peninsula and Gaza, and the being the Golan Height, a strategic Syrian territory taken over in 1967.

Lastly, note that Israel is/was the scene of the bible, not Palestine, as your incompetent attempt at revisionism portrays. No Islamic scholar worth his name will challenge this self-evident historical fact .

mrblessed:
How can you write Christianity originated from Palestine and not Israel? Were there Palestine during the time of Christ? When Jesus was born in Bethlehem, was it a Palestinian territory? Was it not the Romans that renamed Judea and Samaria and the whole of Israel Palestine? Have you ever seen a history of Palestine that did not begin with the creation of Israel in 1948? Even with that, it is a known that the land of Israel was conquered by many foreign powers, the last being the Ottomans before European colonialism.

The so-called Palestinians are Arabs who migrated and settled in Israel, since the Jews were on exile for hundreds of thousands of centuries. That was why Israel had to defeat Jordan to takeover West Bank and Jerusalem, defeat Egypt to control Sinai Peninsula and Gaza, and the being the Golan Height, a strategic Syrian territory taken over in 1967.

Lastly, note that Israel is/was the scene of the bible, not Palestine, as your incompetent attempt at revisionism portrays. No Islamic scholar worth his name will challenge this self-evident historical fact .

I don't know what you are aiming at starting another topic . We have already made justice to the issue at stake.since we are debating on a geographical issue as a focal point. My stand remains the area were Christianity originated from is the area known as Palestine. While Islam originated from the area of Arabia. Maybe somebody would know claim that is false that Islam originated from Mecca.

How We ‘re Staying at Home In This Pandemic






https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EC50LAiYcH4

nizelgirl:
My only advice for you is do not toil with sin

you must either be a deeper life or apostolic faith

clintz:
In the Bible book of genesis 38 God kill Onan for refusing to impregnate his late brothers wife. Nigerian Christians and hypocrisy we select only what we think is right in the Bible.

But Bros I been think say old laws nor bind us again
I think say na new testament we take dey operate now
Anyways, what do I know

sassysure:

Which tradition are u guys talking about?
20th century or 21st?

There were traditions in Africa to take care of such situations before the white man came.

You people have disdain for African culture but you admire homosexuality because it came from your while slave masters

mrblessed:
How can you write Christianity originated from Palestine and not Israel? Were there Palestine during the time of Christ? When Jesus was born in Bethlehem, was it a Palestinian territory? Was it not the Romans that renamed Judea and Samaria and the whole of Israel Palestine? Have you ever seen a history of Palestine that did not begin with the creation of Israel in 1948? Even with that, it is a known that the land of Israel was conquered by many foreign powers, the last being the Ottomans before European colonialism.

The so-called Palestinians are Arabs who migrated and settled in Israel, since the Jews were on exile for hundreds of thousands of centuries. That was why Israel had to defeat Jordan to takeover West Bank and Jerusalem, defeat Egypt to control Sinai Peninsula and Gaza, and the being the Golan Height, a strategic Syrian territory taken over in 1967.

Lastly, note that Israel is/was the scene of the bible, not Palestine, as your incompetent attempt at revisionism portrays. No Islamic scholar worth his name will challenge this self-evident historical fact .

With regard to your claim i am not interested in arguing with you as you are tryin to do too know. as they say two know makes Agbede short in my place.Every time there is a topic most nairaland argue baseless most especially when it comes to interpreting the bible and religious topics.it was hilarious on the argued debate on Oman here wit regards to the issue at stake. first and foremost you dont even know my field to have made that statement. that region was originally know as palestine were christainity originated from . you are confusing it with the modern state of palestine which is modern day used to particularly define the territory of the west bank. .Are you aware that the town of Jerusalem is not the capital of Isreal today it is in the West bank claimed by the Arabs. you dont that even know the basis towards the Arab -Israeli wars which lead to the capture of some territories by israel and the present status,mind you they are occupied and dont belong to the modern state of Israel which you are again confused about,it is different from ancient bibical israel. And israel today has given back the Sinai Peninsula and Gaza to Egypt ,but refused to hand back the Golan heights to Syria for a defensive reason. To know who is the incompetent revisionismist i have attached direct evidence. you should go back to kindergaten to wipe your ass. dont insult people any how as most nairalanders do sheer because of our featuring in this forum. I am ready to present direct evidence on the issue of the said occupied territories. Israel never waged a battle of aggresion to occupy these territories in the first place. Then if you must know not only xtianity did originate from the region of Palestine but Judaism ,which adrents supercede that of xtianity in modern day israel and that judaism is more of a cultural orientation which modern present israelites adhere to even with modern day times.

Modesthy:
I had a good uncle who passed away three years ago. His wife morned him for one year. I lived with that my uncle until I got married and parked to my own house.

I use to visit the house sometimes. After the mourning, his wife called me and told me that I should give her more children. She has only one male child. I refused. But She said I should do it for her because she doesn't want children outside the family because she loved my uncle and our family and that she can't continue to stay with only one child.

I'm completely confused. First I'm married doing that is infidelity, sencondly, the uncle was like a father to me before his death. And I see it as a big sin.

Please somebody should help me, what do I do here? How do I handle this issue? Thanks for your candid advice.

how was this resolved

clintz:
In the Bible book of genesis 38 God kill Onan for refusing to impregnate his late brothers wife. Nigerian Christians and hypocrisy we select only what we think is right in the Bible.

At that time you could marry your family relative but in the book of Leveticus Chapter 18, God forbade it. We are in a different dispensation.