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My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by SocialJustice: 12:55pm On Jun 06, 2020
UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?
Your husband does not own you dear but he has the right to know your income but then, I don't like his attitude of seizing your debit cards and I feel he'll abuse the information. You have trust issues too, why did you get married? You would have spared yourself this stress and just had your baby.

Your husband also sounds like he's beginning to lose it. Please be careful. If you don't feel safe with him anymore please leave that house. You better be separated or divorced and be alive than be in marriage and dead.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by IYANGBALI: 12:55pm On Jun 06, 2020
What happened to the saying in the Bible that they will become one?
Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by Oromwos: 12:55pm On Jun 06, 2020
No gree oh!!

1 Like

Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by brainfordetails: 12:56pm On Jun 06, 2020
The way some wives wants to know about the income of their husbands.
Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by Stillthebest: 12:56pm On Jun 06, 2020
shocked

Thought they say both will become one!

So why hiding things? Especially your salary scales. Thought married people must disclose how much they earn especially if it salary.

So why is that difficult. He has demanded to know why not tell him. If u want to know his Pls ask too.

Let me say this emphatically, do you think people who enjoy marriage happily Hide things? Noooo. They don't. What you give will be what you get. And if u dont get what you give from other party, then problems arise.

I don't know the kind of man he is. But if he is a good, responsible man that cherishes his ego he will still give you money always without asking from you when he doesn't have to despite whatever you earn!

Yes some men do that! But they are dangerous and you can't just offend them or take them for granted.

Be opened to him or what does that cost you?
Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by Beatswim: 12:57pm On Jun 06, 2020
aeion:
He doesn't have the right to take your ATM card away from you nor demand your PIN. If he needs money, I'm sure he knows how to ask but forcefully having direct access to your money at his choosing should be a no-no. If he's threatening you over this, tell your family and get yourself and the baby in your belly to a safe place, but do not give him that PIN. A man who behaves like this is up to no good and can't be trusted.are u married at all...



These are the words of a controlling, abusive man. He does not own you, neither does he own your salary.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by Care4: 12:57pm On Jun 06, 2020
UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?


1. Where did you two find yourselves?
2. How did you end up in marriage?

For the time being, block your ATM Cards. Do your best to limit your transactions to banking app.

If he needs money, he should work for his money. Both of you should take care of the family.

4 Likes

Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by dalass(f): 12:59pm On Jun 06, 2020
Your husband obviously married you for your buoyant financial status... grin

Gone are the days when men married women for love. Now no man wants liability but someone they can control with her finances (fat bank account)....

You demonstrated the extent of your worth by that refurbishment... Now, you can't hide it... Don't give him any pin no oh... And don't make him your next of kin... You married a gold digger...

Gently but firmly talk to him so that he can have a foggy idea on what you earn. Not exact amount.. ...But if he doesn't hide anything from you, maybe you're the one with trust issues.... Maybe once bitten twice shy

Don't escalate the matter, use wisdom oh grin

5 Likes

Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by Ryan03(f): 12:59pm On Jun 06, 2020
Kekereekun123:
Nigeria is hard. Husband and wife should contribute funds. The days of man only are gone
correct but she is to support. According to the post, it was obvious she was supporting but trying to know her complete income is her decision. It can't be forced as long as she is contributing her own quarter

1 Like

Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by fraymite: 1:00pm On Jun 06, 2020
You have to trust your husband. Emergency might arise for him to have access to your account.
I got married in 2019 and lost my wife in 2020 during child delivery. She knew my atm pin and I knows her too. I also know her bank mobile app password. Now imagine, after her death, I don't know this password and pin, how will I retrieve the money in her account? Some of her classmate insisted that they give donation directly to her account which I agreed. I did so because I have access to her account.

OP please prepare your family for emergency. We are not guaranteed to live tomorrow. Trust your husband with everything.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by friday2011(m): 1:00pm On Jun 06, 2020
UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?

My dear,

Truth be told, i am of the opinion that both of you ended up without love in the relationship... If there is love, what is the big deal if your husband knows how much you earn monthly?... Your husband on his part also should focus on making money to take care of you and the unborn child instead of wanting to know how much you earn, only a lazy man that lacks discipline will do that...

And back to you madam "next of kin..."

There is a lot of misconception about the legal status of a next of kin...

Your bank will not contact your next of kin if you die tomorrow...

All they need is a letter of administration from a court of law and death certificate which can be presented by any 2 members of your family...

Weather you pick your child as next of kin or not... Your husband or members of your family can present required documents... (God forbid death)

You need to sort out issues with your husband...

Both of you should find the missing love and understanding...

However pls note that the marriage is still very young, there are bound to be issues, but the earlier you guys start seeing yourselves as one, the better for both of you.
Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by Ryan03(f): 1:00pm On Jun 06, 2020
dalass:
Your husband obviously married you for your buoyant financial status... grin

Gone are the days when men married women for love. Now no man wants liability but someone they can control with her finances (fat bank account)....

You demonstrated the extent of your worth by that refurbishment... Now, you can't hide it... Don't give him any pin no oh... And don't make him your next of kin... You married a gold digger...

Gently but firmly talk to him so that he can have a foggy idea on what you earn. Not exact amount.. ...But if he doesn't hide anything from you, maybe you're the one with trust issues.... Maybe once bitten twice shy

Don't escalate the matter, use wisdom oh grin
I like this

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by Kingininge(m): 1:00pm On Jun 06, 2020
paulolee:
no probs...do what ur minds tells u to...av seen successful marriage dt the wife earns more and always hand over her payslip to the husband and they both run a joint account..

Oil dey your head
Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by Nobody: 1:00pm On Jun 06, 2020
StubbornGENIUS:
First off,OP indicate where you copied this story from cos you just changed your gender from M to F.
grin grin angry grin grin grin
Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by fraymite: 1:00pm On Jun 06, 2020
UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?
You have to trust your husband. Emergency might arise for him to have access to your account.
I got married in 2019 and lost my wife in 2020 during child delivery. She knew my atm pin and I knows her too. I also know her bank mobile app password. Now imagine, after her death, I don't know this password and pin, how will I retrieve the money in her account? Some of her classmate insisted that they give donation directly to her account which I agreed. I did so because I have access to her account.

OP please prepare your family for emergency. We are not guaranteed to live tomorrow. Trust your husband with everything.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by awa(m): 1:01pm On Jun 06, 2020
Love is the greatest in your own voice
Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by Nobody: 1:01pm On Jun 06, 2020
UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?

You are selfish. Your hubby too is not wise.

I pity that man.

Though 90% of your specie are like you.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by dalass(f): 1:01pm On Jun 06, 2020
IYANGBALI:
What happened to the saying in the Bible that they will become one?

Mammon happened...money serpent... grin

The man loves the lady's account balance more than her... grin

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by aaking(m): 1:02pm On Jun 06, 2020
adexpa:
In as much as I wouldn't support the man handling the issue by force, I will blame you for keeping your financial capacity secret to your husband. Respect and love in marriage covers many things including total openness, individual feel honored when their partner shows signs of trust in relationship. Your acts shows that you do not trust him and he is not happy with it. You should be able to reveal your financial capacity to him but not giving him free access except base on agreement. I will boldly tell you that you guys are at the verge of interior(internal) separation which might lead to total separation if care is not taken. From your write-up, you are very cool with what you have done but I think you need reorientation because it is marriage n not courtship anymore.


Op check this rightful information for your home.




When my wife finished NYSC she gave me 80% of her money which I join it with my business. i never even ask her to give me God ALMIGHTY has Witness but today my house is her house, my money is no more mine but Ours. So please plan well with your Husband don't hide anything from him. Eph 5 read all

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by Nobody: 1:06pm On Jun 06, 2020
You must be a stingy lady. You called him your husband, I see you don't contribute in the house. You want to build your own house why he struggle to feed you all.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by Pauladex(m): 1:06pm On Jun 06, 2020
I don't need to know your salary, all I need is to try my best as a man and no unreasonable demands is entertain. To hell with your salary baby wife.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by Flier: 1:07pm On Jun 06, 2020
Freestainworld:
the man needs a brain resetter, he is not normal
Only a sick lady would hide her finances from her husband
Why would you marry someone you don’t trust,if a lady should try such with me that day would be the end of the marriage

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by vivalavida(m): 1:08pm On Jun 06, 2020
fraymite:
You have to trust your husband. Emergency might arise for him to have access to your account.
I got married in 2019 and lost my wife in 2020 during child delivery. She knew my atm pin and I knows her too. I also know her bank mobile app password. Now imagine, after her death, I don't know this password and pin, how will I retrieve the money in her account? Some of her classmate insisted that they give donation directly to her account which I agreed. I did so because I have access to her account.

OP please prepare your family for emergency. We are not guaranteed to live tomorrow. Trust your husband with everything.

Well said
Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by royalfly(m): 1:09pm On Jun 06, 2020
UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?



From your tone. You will definitely get a divorce. Finance in marriage is a very delicate area. I bet you, your husband does not need your money. I believe he just wants to know you can be open to him even with your finances and all that concern him. Besides u don’t seem to trust him why. Except u married for a child like I already believe since u are already old. You are 80 percent the problem here. Besides if u still want the marriage to work go and learn communication and openness in marriage. I wish u well

1 Like

Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by SuperStarBabe(f): 1:10pm On Jun 06, 2020
I think he married you for your money. Simple as that.
But be very careful with him, he seem to be dangerous.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by diziki: 1:10pm On Jun 06, 2020
Husband wahala.
Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by pek(m): 1:10pm On Jun 06, 2020
Ryan03:
my finance is private, no woman should force me to reveal that to her as long as I am providing for the family, same goes for my wife. I learnt from my sisters that, the minute a person knows your true finance, they start having expectations. Its a no no for me
You learnt the wrong thing. We are talking about your spouse. If your spouse doesn't know and have a say in your salary, then something is definitely wrong with the marriage. Couples have issues like these there is no trust and understanding and this is what marriage should be about. You share your body, thoughts, plans etc but you can't share your money. How weird.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by Kingininge(m): 1:11pm On Jun 06, 2020
SpicyMimi:

You are legally married to him, right? And were joined together on the altar as one? I really see no problem disclosing this to him, as you are one unless he is a cheat or has another wife. I don't mind sending my husband all my salary and make him give me money when I need it... I am well pleased with it, in as much as he is mine.
There should be no secrets in a marriage, I'd detest such kind of life.

God bless you and yours

1 Like

Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by Hezmatosky: 1:11pm On Jun 06, 2020
I must marry graduate, I must marry graduate. Guys you see yourselves? Ordinary question, a graduate is reading meaning to it. If you don't have cockroach in your cupboard, just spill it out kiss
Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by Newboss(m): 1:12pm On Jun 06, 2020
Don't disclose anything to him. You have a choice. It's your right.

This is how rape happens. This is the financial version of rape. We need to emphasize on consent in every aspect of life, not just sex.

You have as much right as any man called your husband. Independent finance is important for women as much as it is for men. Don't let the blackmail get to you. You have the same right to your finances as he does to his. You are not his subordinate

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by mignone(f): 1:15pm On Jun 06, 2020
UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?
U may try to divert d funds in dt acct whose cards he has into another&then release d pin to him to know what he wants to do with it. In case it's ur salary acct however, make sure u make all arrangements to change dt bf divulging d pin since there're trust issues.
I wish u all d best but it seems u guys didn't sort things well in ur courtship.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Wants To Know Everything About My Finances. by Futurejoy(f): 1:15pm On Jun 06, 2020
UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?
To be honest, your husband has a right to know your finance but since he made the statement that he owns you, then there is more to him. He is probably there for your money. Is your husband working? Does he earn better or lesser than you? If you can answer this , I can be able to help you.

1 Like

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