Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my him' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.

Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

Naija men are now afraid of Naija ladies hence, the fear for marriage

Imagine someone unknowingly and unfortunately gets tied forever to a lady like millenniumlady or sweetcunt97
Even your village people will pray for your soul

another matter on board

Uyaiincomparabl my love, come and advise this young lady.

I would suggest u become the baby mama that he craves for.. and stop crying over it.

Since u people don't have sense to think about what u want for ur lives.. I will keep on giving you mumu responses.

Lose your good man?

In all honesty, he's not as good as you make him out to be.


No responsible person will opt in for babymamaism.


So paddle your boat elsewhere.



Current generation are so scared of commitment. They want all the goodies of a thing but not the baggage that comes with it

You don't want to be a baby mama and at the same time, you don't want to lose your man

You really don't know what you want. You're indecisive.

Wisdom is profitable only to the wise. You're 26 years of age. Tick tock

This is a man that doesn't want to marry you.
But you want to coerce him into it.

Are you that desperate for a ring?
A superficial deception to paddle a lie??

You talk about wanting a good home;
But here you are, ready to build one on a straw.

If you have to BEG and CONVINCE him to marry you, then surely he DOESN'T see your worth. It's all a facade; He will never be committed to you.

Your goals do not align. Find a new path.
There are men out there that'll tick your box.

Just reassure him that you won't become a nuisance to him when you both get married.

Let's wait for the married elders.

My kinda guy

fuckingAyaya:
My kinda guy

lol ok o. Goodluck

Dicktion:
Naija men are now afraid of Naija ladies hence, the fear for marriage

Imagine someone unknowingly and unfortunately gets tied forever to a lady like millenniumlady or sweetcunt97
Even your village people will pray for your soul

Lol

Truth is bitter, if only you would accept and execute it. Request for some rooms to breathe from him , keep that for a while like that, & make sure sex too isn’t involved anymore during the task. If truly you’re meant to be together, he will come back for you & tell you he is ready, if he does not, God has not destined you for each other. Pray to God for your man and he will surely locate you. Unleash yourself from infatuation & face reality, the fact remains from his comment, you will be used and dumped................ a word!

Dicktion:
Naija men are now afraid of Naija ladies hence, the fear for marriage

Imagine someone unknowingly and unfortunately gets tied forever to a lady like millenniulady or sweetct97
Even your village people will pray for your soul

Lolzzz.. You never know

Mayng01:
Truth is bitter, if only you would accept and execute it. Request for some rooms to breathe from him , keep that for a while like that, & make sure sex too isn’t involved anymore during the task. If truly you’re meant to be together, he will come back for you & tell you he is ready, if he does not, God has not destined you for each other. Pray to God for your man and he will surely locate you. Unleash yourself from infatuation & face reality, the fact remains from his comment, you will be used and dumped................ a word!

Thank you sir.

Hmmmmm, I think you guys can live together without the "I Do". Mustn't have two homes.

Or you can suggest an Open Marriage. It's a thing.

The both of you want different things, it's very simple stuffs, go look for someone that want same thing with you. Life is very short to start getting yourself worked up.

[quote author=Confusedgirl869 post=90526874]


Sis being your best match ever doesn't mean he's the best for you! Marriage these days are not encouraging, agreed but different strokes for different folks! If you play by the rules though!

Never stoop so low to settle for less babe, Bleep love now use your sense.

He's just afraid of responsibilities and fear of being limited!

Who doesn't wanna marry to the love of his life? If truly he has a reciprocal of what you got for him??

He just wanna use you for his gain sis, please don't mind being too far with him, if he's still maintaining that stand, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

Save yourself of eternal regrets and plan to have the best dad for your kids not some philandering, coward stingy men!

Note: if you run now, it's better than running forever Save yourself the stress.


Buh if you don't see it as a big deal too, and you think you like and can cope, please do...... Your choice!

[quote author=callmeRichie post=90527734][/quote]Thank you so much. I appreciate.

@OP your boyfriend position is well-founded. I have come across many girls that are seemingly angelic, calm, well-nurtured who turned out to be a torn in the life of the man years later after marriage.

I have already started rethinking and reorienting myself on the institution of marriage. It doesn't worth it for some guys. Women are unpredictable even to themselves.

My girlfriend said she would wait till I am ready which I know I may not be. She will be the one to advise herself to break up and move on at the right time. I won't do it myself.

Marriage is a favour to women which in most cases turn men to a working robot, not having time to advance themselves spiritually and otherwise.

Advise yourself and seek out men who consider marriage a priority in their list.

Any woman I may eventually go legal with must personally acknowledge I am doing her a favour if marriage is her priority

I wonder why you are still with him. He claims to love you but not enough to kill his fears and marry you. Sweet sister , your boy friend is afraid of one thing and it is called “commitment and responsibility “. Leave him as soon as you can and wait for the right man to come. Any baby daddy is free to mingle with as many women as he wants besides no vow or laws binding him to you. He wants to eat his cake and still have it.

SweetCunt97:
Hmmmmm, I think you guys can live together without the "I Do". Mustn't have two homes.

Or you can suggest an Open Marriage. It's a thing.

Hmmm bae, what about my parents? Especially mum after all the home trainings she gave, wouldn't she think I disgraced her? Being the first daughter, you know how our parents think na.

you're welcome, I like this your moniker though , don't be confused abeg

Confusedgirl869:


Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

Baby girl, please don't let him have his way with you. He may "probably" have someone he wants to marry already.

But whether he has someone else or not, never settle to be a baby mama. Go for what makes you happy.

Confusedgirl869:
Hmmm bae, what about my parents? Especially mum after all the home trainings she gave, wouldn't she think I disgraced her? Being the first daughter, you know how our parents think na.

Well, this is your life and happiness, take charge. If you not okay with the arrangement, simply move on. Unless you can convince him to marry

tho, there are so many shallow minded and crazy people on nairaland but this forum has taught me a lot in all sphere of life especially maritally, which i know i wont have problems if eventually i settle down. kudos to the intellgent and sensible ones here.
Back to you @ Op. if you know what is good for you, leave that guy ASAP. because if you coerce and convince him into marrying you which i doubt, the marriage may be unbearable to you, then you would be surprised how your acclaimed perfect man turns demon overnight. the guy has his mind made up.

Before marriage they will be gentle like Angel Gabriel.

After marriage they will be hotter than Hell Fire.

Meet Nigerian ladies. You will enjoy them.

Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue have been bothering me alot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my husband' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.


Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

so I'm not the only one who doesn't want to marry and just want kids

Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue have been bothering me alot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my husband' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.


Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

Babe you better delete his number now.and move on.You are still young and so many guys will want you as a wife.So forget the so called "perfect "man .There is always light at the end of the tunnel .