Confusedgirl869:
Hmmm bae, what about my parents? Especially mum after all the home trainings she gave, wouldn't she think I disgraced her? Being the first daughter, you know how our parents think na.

Confusedgirl869:
At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

Goddys:
@OP your boyfriend position is well-founded. I have come across many girls that are seemingly angelic, calm, well-nurtured who turned out to be a torn in the life of the man years later after marriage.

I have already started rethinking and reorienting myself on the institution of marriage. It doesn't worth it for some guys. Women are unpredictable even to themselves.

My girlfriend said she would wait till I am ready which I know I may not be. She will be the one to advise herself to break up and move on at the right time. I won't do it myself.

Marriage is a favour to women which in most cases turn men to a working robot, not having time to advance themselves spiritually and otherwise.

Advise yourself and seek out men who consider marriage a priority in their list.

Any woman I may eventually go legal with must personally acknowledge I am doing her a favour if marriage is her priority

Beatswim:
from my own perspective here, it seems u are the problem here, this guy has seen something about u that he can never live with hence he threw the option
of babymama for u to decide and from your own upbringing, he knows u can never accept it.. My advice is check yourself well before entering another relationship becos this your boyfriend is 35... Shows hes more matured and experienced than u.. Here are somethings u need to check
-men love women that can cooperate with them in responsibility of a home.. If u are have the mentality that its the responsibility of a man to do everything at home.. Check it
Are u clean? Men observe this things.. U may not know.. Some ladies have terrible smell after intercouse hence the guy swears never to marry them
Character... Some ladies are mannerless and haughty and spontaneous mood swings.. Check this
Imcompatible sex life... Some ladies are so insatiable and have higher drive than their partners.. Never unleash all your sex capabilities now that u are courting hence he thinks he might not be able to cope later.
Lastly communication.. are you secretive?if yes pls check it.. I wish u well as u check this things

KenBen217:

so I'm not the only one who doesn't want to marry and just want kids

manontree:
I have seen some situations where a couple needed advise from me. The lady said, Doc, I cant live without him. The man said, God, she is choking the life out of me. I simply want my space

A few years later, both were wrong. The lady not only moved on to a better man and better things, he realized he is the one that couldnt live without her and desperately came to me to help him win her back

You see, no man that respects you (which to me is a cardinal point in a good marriage) would ever wish this on you. He clearly dont value you nor desire being with you for life. In short, you are a stop gap to finding his life mate. Ask yourself, wont he plead for marriage the moment he sees that woman that he cant do without?

Another point, few women can give what you give. You dont ask for money, you take care of things, you love him...That's scarce commodity in today's women. If you have all these, except you look like a whale, there would literally be a long queue seeking your attention. Why settle for this?

Like someone said earlier and like the story of the couple above, a few years down the line and you would look back at this with horror about the mistake you nearly made. For truly he is a mistake

Last shot: For those slating marriage, I have been married for almost two decades, as are my friends. Too numerous to mention. Everyone is having a ball. For that one bad marriage that social media highlights, there are thousands, yes thousands, of amazing unions. Keep deceiving yourselves. Marriage is this and that. Like you arent a product of one

Boredasf:
So you want him to sacrifice his freedom by marrying you abi
Abeg shift!!!

That young man is wise for not wifeing you up.
Marriage benefits Women not men.

I sincerely hope more men adopt this philosophy.
You women don't deserve marriage.
Any man that decides to marry any woman in this 21st century should know that he is doing her a HUGE favor!

Dicktion:
Naija men are now afraid of Naija ladies hence, the fear for marriage

Imagine someone unknowingly and unfortunately gets tied forever to a lady like millenniumlady or sweetcunt97
Even your village people will pray for your soul

Confusedgirl869:

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

Martinez39s:
Give me your main NL account. I promise not to reveal your identity. Pleeeaaaassssse.

Goddys:
@OP your boyfriend position is well-founded. I have come across many girls that are seemingly angelic, calm, well-nurtured who turned out to be a torn in the life of the man years later after marriage.

My girlfriend said she would wait till I am ready which I know I may not be. She will be the one to advise herself to break up and move on at the right time. I won't do it myself.

Marriage is a favour to women which in most cases turn men to a working robot, not having time to advance themselves spiritually and otherwise.

Advise yourself and seek out men who consider marriage a priority in their list.

Any woman I may eventually go legal with must personally acknowledge I am doing her a favour if marriage is her priority

Confusedgirl869:
.

Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my him' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.

Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

manontree:
I have seen some situations where a couple needed advise from me. The lady said, Doc, I cant live without him. The man said, God, she is choking the life out of me. I simply want my space

A few years later, both were wrong. The lady not only moved on to a better man and better things, he realized he is the one that couldnt live without her and desperately came to me to help him win her back

You see, no man that respects you (which to me is a cardinal point in a good marriage) would ever wish this on you. He clearly dont value you nor desire being with you for life. In short, you are a stop gap to finding his life mate. Ask yourself, wont he plead for marriage the moment he sees that woman that he cant do without?

Another point, few women can give what you give. You dont ask for money, you take care of things, you love him...That's scarce commodity in today's women. If you have all these, except you look like a whale, there would literally be a long queue seeking your attention. Why settle for this?

Like someone said earlier and like the story of the couple above, a few years down the line and you would look back at this with horror about the mistake you nearly made. For truly he is a mistake

Last shot: For those slating marriage, I have been married for almost two decades, as are my friends. Too numerous to mention. Everyone is having a ball. For that one bad marriage that social media highlights, there are thousands, yes thousands, of amazing unions. Keep deceiving yourselves. Marriage is this and that. Like you arent a product of one

Ningen:
This is a man that doesn't want to marry you.
But you want to coerce him into it.

Are you that desperate for a ring?
A superficial deception to paddle a lie??

You talk about wanting a good home;
But here you are, ready to build one on a straw.

If you have to BEG and CONVINCE him to marry you, then surely he DOESN'T see your worth. It's all a facade; He will never be committed to you.

Your goals do not align. Find a new path.
There are men out there that'll tick your box.

Confusedgirl869:
Hello everyone. This account is created for this .

This issue has been bothering me a lot and I am very confused on what to do.

We have been together for more than 2 years now and we hardly have issues, infact we are a perfect match or so I thought.

I am 26 while he is 35, we both working and I never disturb him for money, I take care of all my needs myself. He is very calm and peaceful, doesn't hit me and I really admire him a lot. I on the other hand is also good, hardworking, not materialistic and all that makes a good woman.

So after thinking of our relationship thoroughly some weeks ago, I realised that there is really nothing stopping us from getting married this year or next. I decided to hear what he has to say because he never talked about us being or getting married. I also noticed that whenever he sees or hears about bad marriages he felt lucky he is not in yet. This always makes me feel bad because I know myself. I also wasn't a fan of marriage before I met him because of so many bad men out there, but everything changed when I met my guy, he is what I want. The very first day we met, the first thought that came to my mind was 'this is my him' I don't know why I had that thought being our first time meeting.

Anyways, few weeks ago I decided to ask him what his plans are. Are we in on a long thing or not? I got the shock of my life when he made me understand that he doesn't want to be tied forever, he loves his space and the way nobody disturbs him. That he only wants a baby mama, he wants me to be the mother his kids but not in marriage. I was mad and I cried for days. He was even sounding like nothing is wrong with being a baby mama, maybe not but I just can't.

Well, I made him understand that I can't be a baby mama and it will also be hard for me to move on with another person. I've bonded so well with him and all that. And I also hate jumping from one man to another. I told him to talk to people who are in successful marriages and stop looking at the bad ones. Today when we were talking I asked him about it and he is still maintaining his stand on the mama.

I don't want to give birth to kids that have 2 homes, I grew up like that(it took me lots of self discipline not to become useless) and wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids, I want them to grow with their parents in ONE house. At the same time, I don't want to lose my good man and relationship.

I need your opinions please.

delawal:
i kive close to a hotel where people come to do shorttime. 80percent,of men coming there are,married men, many married guys i know before,look miserable, sone seem to be down after,marriage, is it,dt,marriage is over rated or what. even those,of them who claim to be,enjoyong it i see,them,in some bad corners digging other small,girls or married women

zedman1:
If truly you're who you say you are then you must be a good girl. The good ones suffer more in relationships. I hated break ups while I was still single cos' I get hurt so bad for so long.... As a guy o. But truth is, some persons just don't see you as one they'd spend their lives with, no matter how convinced you are that you're meant for them. It's hard to move on (used to be for me though), but you don't force such persons on yourself. If he wants you, he'll stay, explain to him again, if he isn't ready for the kind of union you want, I think you should move on.

Autogduru411:
He's not alone, they're many of us in this circle.

Stargner:



LISTEN TO THE VOICE OF WISDOM !
It's obvious you are yet to know the real "him"

johnkey:
abeg change your mentality, who you to tag someone irresponsible simply because of their personal decisions? ah ahn! so I can't decide I don't want the extra baggage of a woman in my OWN house?

olumide4christ:


The 1st sensible, factual and straight to the point response on this thread so far!

Well said!

MOnkeyBabe:
Hi theRe!