I'm developing a phobia for girls. I'm in my early 20 and a 300L Engineering student. I noticed this for a long time but I felt it was my young mind.
Even if I spoke with a girl yesterday, I can't get into a subsequent conversation, I would start to avoid it and the girl.
When we were in 200L and studying for our first ever engineering examination, everyone was in panic and fear. So I was studying with my guy, and this girl was so interested to join the study and she did. We studied the course together, me and her went home and even entered the same bus together. We had a mundane conversation together. Unfortunately for me we were in the same department, I can't avoid a possible study with her. Fastforward, we studied together and sometimes with my guy but I'm always not convenient with a girl. I flinched at any sight of her. Now in 300L my character has open up to her like a proud guy. She now avoid me like my character poses. This character trait of mine is not only peculiar with her but many girls.
This another girl also was our church member, she was a new member. I was even the one that hi her on WhatsApp (got her number from church group), we talk on social media like we were close friend. When I had the chance to talk to her (we were sitting side by side), I was so nervous that if I make an attempt I could cry.
Pls help me, I don't want a third party while toasting my wife.
Do I have a problem?
How do I end it?
Note:- I don't create this thread to have a gf, but to know why I can't hold and initiate a conversation with a girl. Though I a timid type but I can have a conversation with a boy (even stranger).

What you seem to be dealing with is not shyness but anxiety. It happens to the best of us. lol...

What you could do is try jogging to relax your mind and body every morning. You dey school, you fit do am! While jogging, try to listen to calming music and if you have any emotional baggage that you are aware of, think yourself through them, get them off your chest whichever way you know. Develop a self-examination routine to help you become a better person, one that does not carry over emotional stress from day to day, if necessary.
This should help get you through your day, and also as a bonus, help keep you fit and get the gal!

NB: Never try to change who you are at your core for anyone, living or dead.

Kobojunkie:
What you seem to be dealing with is not shyness but anxiety. It happens to the best of us. lol...

What you could do is try jogging to relax your mind and body every morning. You dey school, you fit do am! While jogging, try to listen to calming music and if you have any emotional baggage that you are aware of, think yourself through them, get them off your chest whichever way you know. This should help get you through your day, and also as a bonus, help keep you fit and get the gal!

I don't know I posted this under religion section oo... But I guess I would get the best answer here also.
Thank u always..

Is not a problem... I am currently passing through this stage..


I can only talk to a girl online and the chat will be fun and lively but... In reality.. Nope




And we are not the only people suffering from it


Just try and have money... U won't worry about pleasing girls again

Dannyfan:
I don't know I posted this under religion section oo... But I guess I would get the best answer here also.
Thank u always..

Why? You think what you are dealing with a "religious" problem?
Nah! There are no devils/demons/spirits/witches/voodoo lords or whatchamacallits after you, or doing it to you...

Kobojunkie:
Why? You think what you are dealing with a "religious" problem?
Nah! There are no devills/demons/spirits/witches/voodoo lords or whatchamacallits after you, or doing it to you...

Yeah, juju no vey follow me ooo. But I guess it was because of my other thread on religion that makes me post it.

Dannyfan:
I'm developing a phobia for girls. I'm in my early 20 and a 300L Engineering student. I noticed this for a long time but I felt it was my young mind.
Even if I spoke with a girl yesterday, I can't get into a subsequent conversation, I would start to avoid it and the girl.
When we were in 200L and studying for our first ever engineering examination, everyone was in panic and fear. So I was studying with my guy, and this girl was so interested to join the study and she did. We studied the course together, me and her went home and even entered the same bus together. We had a mundane conversation together. Unfortunately for me we were in the same department, I can't avoid a possible study with her. Fastforward, we studied together and sometimes with my guy but I'm always not convenient with a girl. I flinched at any sight of her. Now in 300L my character has open up to her like a proud guy. She now avoid me like my character poses. This character trait of mine is not only peculiar with her but many girls.
This another girl also was our church member, she was a new member. I was even the one that hi her on WhatsApp (got her number from church group), we talk on social media like we were close friend. When I had the chance to talk to her (we were sitting side by side), I was so nervous that if I make an attempt I could cry.
Pls help me, I don't want a third party while toasting my wife.
Do I have a problem?
How do I end it?
Note:- I don't create this thread to have a gf, but to know why I can't hold and initiate a conversation with a girl. Though I a timid type but I can have a conversation with a boy (even stranger).

You dont have problem. Just forget ladies abeg. Build for now. When you are ready(to marry), they are the ones that will be shy of you. For now, keep fit(exercise), eat fruits and Strengthen your mind. You dont need ladies now, especially in this our Nigeria. Focused Men are powerful Men. An advice tho.

Vyzz:




Is not a problem... I am currently passing through this stage..


I can only talk to a girl online and the chat will be fun and lively but... In reality.. Nope




And we are not the only people suffering from it


Just try and have money... U won't worry about pleasing girls again

Thank you sir... But did you think it's normal? No any psychological disorder.

ArisingStorm:

You dont have problem. Just forget ladies abeg. Build for now. When you are ready(to marry), they are the ones that will be shy of you. For now, keep fit(exercise), eat fruits and Strengthen your mind. You dont need ladies now, especially in this our Nigeria. Focused Men are powerful Men. An advice tho.

Thank you... They'll be shy of me when glory comes. Hmmmm FOCUSED MEN are POWERFUL MEN.

Dannyfan:
Yeah, juju no vey follow me ooo. But I guess it was because of my other thread on religion that makes me post it.

Well, Anxiety rears it's ugly here these days even among those who are religious, so the question is not out of sorts.

It is a mental illness, but don't think of it yet as a psychological disorder. Everybody experiences anxiety... it is normal for us humans as it is our mind's way of tackling problems of and beyond a certain load. However, some minds don't have a high enough load threshold for the triggering of the Anxiety mode, hence what you are experiencing.

Work on your nerves (physical and mental exercises to clear out the load each day), and go get your gal!

They will advice you to make money first...

But any guy that relies on money to have confidence to talk to a girl is not worth calling a man...

And who says money can't be made while chasing a girl..

Well, thanks to mother nature cause the world needs wussy men like this to maintain a balance...

Modified :- Start with girls below your standard, that is, the girls you look down on to the extent you even trash talk them.. Instead of trash talking them, start given them compliments..

You'd be surprised how you'd gelled when you eventually approach the girl you found difficult to talk to in the first place.

Dannyfan:
Thank you sir... But did you think it's normal? No any psychological disorder.

Well, it is probably caused by ur environment...



Like where u grew up and how...


I grew up with only a sis and wasn't close with her... I stayed with guys mostly and as an Introvert wasn't the type to go outside and make friends....


Na TV be my next friend after my brothers and few other guys...


So I think that affected my relationship and how I deal with ladies

Kobojunkie:
Well, Anxiety rears it's ugly here these days even among those who are religious, so the question is not out of sorts.

It is a mental illness, but don't think of it yet as a psychological disorder. Everybody experiences anxiety... it is normal for us humans as it is our mind's way of tackling problems of and beyond a certain load. However, some minds don't have a high enough load threshold for the triggering of the Anxiety mode, hence what you are experiencing.

Work on your nerves (physical and mental exercises to clear out the load each day), and go get your gal!

Anxiety... As in I will just shaking ooo when around girls.
Mental/Physical exercises. Then get a gal; yeh ise nla... God'll help me burn the shy, anxiety or whatever it is.

internationalman:
They will advice you to make money first...

But any guy that relies on money to have confidence to talk to a girl is not worth calling a man...

And who says money can't be made while chasing a girl..

Well, thanks to mother nature cause the world needs wussy men like this to maintain a balance...

Modified :- Start with girls below your standard, that is, the girls you look down on to the extent you even trash talk them.. Instead of trash talking them, start given them compliments..

You'd be surprised how you'd gelled when you eventually approach the girl you found difficult to talk to in the first place.

iii subscribed 2diz, u're doin well!

internationalman:
They will advice you to make money first...

But any guy that relies on money to have confidence to talk to a girl is not worth calling a man...

And who says money can't be made while chasing a girl..

Well, thanks to mother nature cause the world needs wussy men like this to maintain a balance...

I'll change my orientation now.
"But any guy that relies on money to have confidence to talk to a girl is not worth calling a man..." I know my success is certain.

Modified :- Start with girls below your standard, that is, the girls you look down on to the extent you even trash talk them.. Instead of trash talking them, start given them compliments..

You'd be surprised how you'd gelled when you eventually approach the girl you found difficult to talk to in the first place.

Me that can't talk anything to a girl even trash self. I don't remember trashing a girl ever in my life ooo.

Vyzz:





Well, it is probably caused by ur environment...



Like where u grew up and how...


I grew up with only a sis and wasn't close with her... I stayed with guys mostly and as an Introvert wasn't the type to go outside and make friends....


Na TV be my next friend after my brothers and few other guys...


So I think that affected my relationship and how I deal with ladies

You just described a %me, I always avoid going out.
I guess my growing up also affect me. If you see me talking with my guyz in school, you'll think I've charisma for girls ni ooo. Even if the girl saw me talking with them, she must have thought I was just intentional toward her.

Dannyfan:
You just described a %me, I always avoid going out.
I guess my growing up also affect me. If you see me talking with my guyz in school, you'll think I've charisma for girls ni ooo. Even if the girl saw me talking with them, she must have thought I was just intentional toward her.

No reason am Las Las we go dey alright

Vyzz:








No reason am Las Las we go dey alright

Abi now, FOCUS is the key now.

Dannyfan:
Anxiety... As in I will just shaking ooo when around girls.
Mental/Physical exercises. Then get a gal; yeh ise nla... God'll help me burn the shy, anxiety or whatever it is.

Anxiety is not all shaking around a gal, and it is nothing to be ashamed of since it is not your fault.

Dannyfan:

I'll change my orientation now.
"But any guy that relies on money to have confidence to talk to a girl is not worth calling a man..." I know my success is certain.
Me that can't talk anything to a girl even trash self. I don't remember trashing a girl ever in my life ooo.

You get to decide the kind of human being you want to be. If you want to be yet another slowpoke walking around calling himself a man, it is all up to you. Talking Trash to people to get you started in life... deceiving women to boost your ego....your every decision will cost you something in life.

ArisingStorm:

You dont have problem. Just forget ladies abeg. Build for now. When you are ready(to marry), they are the ones that will be shy of you. For now, keep fit(exercise), eat fruits and Strengthen your mind. You dont need ladies now, especially in this our Nigeria. Focused Men are powerful Men. An advice tho.

They hardly listen.

Well done.

Dannyfan:

I'll change my orientation now.
"But any guy that relies on money to have confidence to talk to a girl is not worth calling a man..." I know my success is certain.
Me that can't talk anything to a girl even trash self. I don't remember trashing a girl ever in my life ooo.

Just be rude to them at first. Being rude to them gives you an edge over them..

Then you can begin to mellow down on your rudeness and mildly compliment them..

At least this has been working for me all lifelong

internationalman:


Just be rude to them at first. Being rude to them gives you an edge over them..

Then you can begin to mellow down on your rudeness and mildly compliment them..

At least this has been working for me all lifelong

OK... If I could.

yomi007k:

They hardly listen.

Well done.