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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? (4551 Views)
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Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by samwise180(m): 11:08pm On Jun 19, 2020 |
Go for your younger sister no matter what she might have done.
People changes from bad to good, vice versa. 1 Like |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by Jhenny(f): 11:23pm On Jun 19, 2020 |
Nigerians and sentiments. She is your sister and so what. She obviously is not responsible enough to do anything not to talk of handling a child. Haven't we read of siblings hurting each other. I wouldn't even trust my child with an irresponsible person like that whether family or not. Like someone posted, invite the other girl and let it be in contract. Anything goes wrong and you can deal with her. For your peace of mind, Don't bring that your sister. She will only get worse. 5 Likes |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by cooooooks(m): 1:49am On Jun 20, 2020 |
What do you mean by: "a few days a week from 8 am to 2 pm"? How much will you pay either your sister or your boss's daughter? Would the UK govt characterise the relationship you wish to have with either lady as "modern-day slavery"? Why I am asking is because you are looking for house help. Your sister/parents may not stand for it while the daughter of your boss may appreciate it....if you don't overdo it. 6 Likes |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by doitforyou(f): 2:11am On Jun 20, 2020 |
What do you mean by: I say do neither. Look for a daycare option in the U.K you can afford. importing labor is very tricky and could land you in jail. Whatever ‘contract’ or verbal agreement she agrees to is not legally binding, once she gets to the U.K. and she decides not want to work for you, you can’t do sh!t, it’s not like her visa will be cancelled because you say so. I assume she’s coming in with a student visa, then she’s free to go to school and work anywhere she chooses as stipulated on her visa. Also, are you going to meet all the requirements of importing a worker to the UK? Anything short of that is teetering dangerously close to slavery. The devil you know... Even though you remember her as being nice etc, do you really know her? Hope you know people can surprise you. 15 Likes |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by Jotrade: 2:41am On Jun 20, 2020 |
Blood is blood 1 Like |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by elektra(f): 2:43am On Jun 20, 2020 |
The two options are risky. Use the masters money to pay for professional child care and have peace of mind. 1 Like |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by Nobody: 2:50am On Jun 20, 2020 |
Naira235: Why in hell are you trying to control your sister? ![]() ![]() Your sister is a burden, while criticising her is good, what have you done to hand her a life? Except pay school fees, and buy her stupid useless gifts (phones, clothes, money....all garbage to me). You need someone to tell you the hard truth, and that is me! Less than two years my brother wrote me a N4m cheque to go study abroad, today I can pay back...comfortably! My brother can call me anytime, day or night for emergency bail out funds. In a few years, will you be able to call your boss daughter for a quick $5,000 loan with no hesitation? It seem like you enjoy being the bread winner, being responsible for everything and everyone in your family. Na you go tire. I can relate to this and that is why I am taking it personal. Helping your sister out of Nigeria should be TOP of your priority, help your boss daughter after you have helped your sister if you are up to it and still feel like it. And you don't even need to get something in return before you help them ![]() Well, some good deeds set people for life...this seem like one of it. Help your sisters future and remove her from the long list of people you are "responsible" for in a couple of years. Let her children's children will reap the benefits. 10 Likes |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by Nobody: 2:53am On Jun 20, 2020 |
Jhenny: Only miserable people will negotiate helping their own blood to getting something back in return! ![]() 6 Likes |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by Nobody: 3:10am On Jun 20, 2020 |
Bottomline is you don't owe your sister anything! (you don't owe her money for tuition, or part of the tuition....if you do it, her soul will thank you and it will be wonderful) Same way your sister does not owe you anything! (not even to take care of your child as a favour, if she take care of your child, it'd be wonderful). Your sister will get to where she will get to with or without your help. Same way your child be very well taken care of if both your sister and your boss daughter don't make it to the UK. That is life. But you see, building wealth alone is gruesome and it can also be fun and easy if you build it with others. 2 Likes |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by Born2Breed(f): 3:57am On Jun 20, 2020 |
Naira235: This decision involves the life of your child and the best people who will take your children as theirs are your family members. You have seen the worst of your sister and will soon start seeing her best if you are not too authoritative. The other Lady maybe a saint but when the chips are down...family first. 1 Like |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by anthonyuncle(m): 4:03am On Jun 20, 2020 |
both options are risky for u |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by UjuJoan2: 4:11am On Jun 20, 2020 |
Naira235: This is a tough decision, not because your sister is 'spoilt' . It's not her fault that she's spoilt. It's your fault and the fault of your parents who raised her. She should not have to suffer for that. I say it's tough because you feel the need to help this other lady and you need someone who you can rely on. For now your sister doesn't really appear to be that person. Most times family take each other for granted, not because they are evil, but because they don't know better. Your sister doesn't call you because she doesn't think she needs to call, not because she doesn't care. In my books, blood doesn't automatically make someone qualified for some favours, but truth be told I've not seen anything worth disqualifying your sister over. She is young, immature and protected. She will out grow it. So you need to ask yourself. Is your sister evil or just a bit spoilt and misdirected? Except you are looking for a maid and you know she won't be humble enough to take anything you dish out, unlike the other lady who may not have any choice. If you really just need her for childcare for a few hours daily, then I doubt if she will object to looking after her own neice. I know you have the best intentions, but I hope you know what they say about the road to hell being paved with good intentions. Never choose a stranger over family. You can still help both if you want to. But choose your sister first. It's all part of the sacrifice 2 Likes |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by UjuJoan2: 4:22am On Jun 20, 2020 |
Naira235: As a last born I take serious exception to that statement. I was pampered and protected. I never even cooked untill I got into the University. My roommate taught me how to cook. My elder sisters washed my clothes and did everything for me (I had a lot of elder sister). And no, I wasn't allowed to sleep all day. I did other chores like cleaning, washing dishes E.t.c. People blame last-born's for being spoilt, but it's not their fault they are spoilt. It's the way they were raised. Last born or not, I could never get away with some selfish traits your mentioned about your sister. Your parents let her get away with too much. You need to set rules, boundaries for her. And if she doesn't follow them, let her know there will be consequences. |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by fawaz22(m): 10:25am On Jun 20, 2020 |
Naira235:sis,I think you should leave emotions out of this..since you already know your sis well..make her understand her reason for coming and talk to your parent abt it so they can talk to her too..for the other stranger who you know back then you can't tell if she has changed overtime.and also consider your husband with a stranger she might seduce your husband and before you knw it... so I think you should choose your own blood 3 Likes |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by ayomilore: 10:52am On Jun 20, 2020 |
If your sister misbehave if you invite her over there are people back home you can report her to. who would you report a stranger to? infact she won't think twice before she takes any decisions, besides someone you knew 8 years back you need to take your time to know whether she is still that old good girl. stylishly raise the issue with your parents and tell them not to inform her yet until you finally decides, if you are sure they can check her exceses if she's brought over then you may consider her but have a secret plan of how to discard her if she eventually fumbles upon arrival. 3 Likes |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by Naira235: 11:45am On Jun 20, 2020 |
cooooooks:Inviting her over is applying for student visa through MSc route which cost over £15,000 and I see no evidence of slavery there. I don't need any house help, but just a childminder. I have been paying childminder here but thought it will be additional advantage to someone else inform of tuition fees instead of paying over £700 every month for childminder . The only agreement is to pay their school fees direct to the school account in exchange for the work. 3 Likes |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by Naira235: 11:46am On Jun 20, 2020 |
elektra:Thanks alot for this advice. 2 Likes |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by jamesversion: 12:27pm On Jun 20, 2020 |
Naira235: After inviting your bosses daughter, prepare to have your sister as your permanent enemy the moment she finds out. 2 Likes |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by Digbick: 12:46pm On Jun 20, 2020 |
Please your sister is the best bet 1 Like |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by ceeceeuwa: 12:51pm On Jun 20, 2020 |
Invite your sister. Remember if you empower her she is in a better position to help your extended family, and the burden will be reduced on you. Your former bosses daughter will think of helping her own parents first before she will even think of helping your own parents. 3 Likes |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by cooooooks(m): 12:56pm On Jun 20, 2020 |
Confirm with the laws to see if this is legal. Your perception of what is or is not slavery is irrelevant tbh. The important thing is to make sure that the law sees no evidence of slavery. Also, why do Masters, especially if it costs a bit? Why not a PG diploma? Do you have a tentative plan to get them residency? I don't know a lot about UK plans. You used the word 'control' in your complaints of you and your sister's relationship while you were in Nigeria. Governments see 'control' as slavery, whether or not you pay for their tuition, after all, slaves are traded like commodities. Naira235: 1 Like |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by frozen70(f): 9:15pm On Jun 20, 2020 |
Naira235: Your sister would have been a better option but you don't have a firm grip over her because she was spoilt by the family Just ask her what she intends doing and sponsor her Your boss daughter is another good option but your family will reject you if you should pick her Just assist her to stand well In the absence of non, take your sister and manage her, it's still to the advantage of your father family 2 Likes |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by Nobody: 9:19pm On Jun 20, 2020 |
Naira235: Your boss's daughter obviously. |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by fatymore(f): 10:16pm On Jun 20, 2020 |
If you are my sister and you do This, I would disown you. No matter what, helping your sister which us your family has lots of benefits... At least you know your sister very well, but the other lady, do you know what behaviour she has gotten since you saw her last. Your sister first 4 Likes |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by fatymore(f): 10:21pm On Jun 20, 2020 |
123abcclown:I love you for this Sir. Very Apt! 5 Likes |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by craleonic: 1:26am On Jun 21, 2020 |
Naira235: You don't know enough about her to be able to judge that she is a better person than your sister, really. This angel might turn out to be much worse than the devil you think your sister is. I personally would rather help no one than choose to help an outsider over my own sibling. |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by MamaEEE: 2:44am On Jun 21, 2020 |
Don't tread a part u will regret later... Your sister is the best bet here if your mum can't come over to help you. I give u a life experience of a friend . Same country as yours, Made this same arrangement with a friend from nija to come over to enable her work reasonable shifts for five months while she accommodate and feeds her in return she care for her kid.she works 4days a week d friend 3days a week... She got to the UK, she that was brought in started work the next week and Neva did the child care for a day. Stories of her one family back in nija is sick and needs money started rolling in. Dax how my friend watched 5months rolled over without getting help from the friend... When u bring your bosses daughter over she can chux to work out of the plan and their is nothing you can do.or she come even get boyfriend and chux to move over to his house , what will you do. Na u lux b that. But your sister cannot jux abandone u and your baby, blood dey say is thinker than water. U self think am ,u go chux to give an outsider a better life living family . You can't win the case if the news comes out later... And ur timing 8-2, what if the minder get class to attend and you need her to look after the baby... Who go solve the matter( in zlantans voice ) in other news bring your your mum or sister Think about it 1 Like |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by cooooooks(m): 2:47am On Jun 21, 2020 |
I was discussing with my girl today about this and we did a bit of research. https://www.antislavery.org/slavery-today/domestic-work-and-slavery/ Excerpt from the site: Domestic workers perform a range of tasks in private homes including: cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking care of children and the elderly and running errands. Some domestic workers also live in their employers’ homes and are often considered ‘on call’ to undertake work for their employer 24 hours a day. The pay is often very low, with wage payments frequently delayed. Some domestic workers may not be paid at all or only receive ‘payment in kind’ such as food or accommodation. For some domestic workers, the circumstances and conditions of their work amount to slavery. This happens when employers stop domestic workers from leaving the house, don’t pay wages, use violence or threats, withhold their identity documents, limit their contact with family and force them to work. Naira235: |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by cooooooks(m): 2:48am On Jun 21, 2020 |
*path* MamaEEE: |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by Naira235: 7:42am On Jun 21, 2020 |
cooooooks:I doubt if you know what's operating in UK at all?? Domestic workers are different from Care assistant and also different from Child minders. Care assistant is different from live-in-carer and nanny. Everyone is proud of their profession and no one , I repeat none of the above can work , save £15,000 for school fees within 9- 12 months , and sponsor themselves with both feeding, accommodation and living expenses. |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by MamaEEE: 8:45am On Jun 21, 2020 |
cooooooks:I go use pigin answer you. So in all when I write , na to correct English pain you. Living the message... You no even fit think go Autocorrect or typo... You for start the correction from your user name... Try they mind your business if you no get anything good to say |
Re: My Younger Sister Or My Boss Daughter ?? by gargoylern: 11:16am On Jun 21, 2020 |
Wait o. Why are you trying to invite any of these poor girls over into a live of slavery? How do you expect them to have time for their studies while working 20 hours a week and still taking care of your baby from 8am to 2pm? Are you looking for a house maid? I hope you know child trafficking is illegal in the UK. You shouldn't go into this if you'll be giving these poor girls a hard life. UK is not heaven! 1 Like |
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