Go for your younger sister no matter what she might have done. People changes from bad to good, vice versa.

Nigerians and sentiments. She is your sister and so what. She obviously is not responsible enough to do anything not to talk of handling a child. Haven't we read of siblings hurting each other. I wouldn't even trust my child with an irresponsible person like that whether family or not. Like someone posted, invite the other girl and let it be in contract. Anything goes wrong and you can deal with her. For your peace of mind, Don't bring that your sister. She will only get worse.

What do you mean by:

"a few days a week from 8 am to 2 pm"?

How much will you pay either your sister or your boss's daughter?

Would the UK govt characterise the relationship you wish to have with either lady as "modern-day slavery"?

Why I am asking is because you are looking for house help. Your sister/parents may not stand for it while the daughter of your boss may appreciate it....if you don't overdo it.

What do you mean by:

"a few days a week from 8 am to 2 pm"?

Would the UK govt characterise the relationship you wish to have with either lady as "modern-day slavery"?

I say do neither.

Look for a daycare option in the U.K you can afford. importing labor is very tricky and could land you in jail.

Whatever ‘contract’ or verbal agreement she agrees to is not legally binding, once she gets to the U.K. and she decides not want to work for you, you can’t do sh!t, it’s not like her visa will be cancelled because you say so. I assume she’s coming in with a student visa, then she’s free to go to school and work anywhere she chooses as stipulated on her visa.

Also, are you going to meet all the requirements of importing a worker to the UK? Anything short of that is teetering dangerously close to slavery.

The devil you know...

Even though you remember her as being nice etc, do you really know her? Hope you know people can surprise you.

Blood is blood

The two options are risky. Use the masters money to pay for professional child care and have peace of mind.

Naira235:
Hi Everyone,
I have been paying high money for childcare here in UK and its giving me a second thought. My husband is a medical doctor and I work as a nurse for half days in a week, so we don't have to work all day and time to be financially okay as this is our first child and she is just 8 months old.

I can only afford to sponsor one person for MSc and the person has to be assisting me in childcare as a compensation.

I have a younger sister whom I am 6 years older than, she is a graduate but not currently working. She is a spoilt child been the last born and I am the first born. I found it very difficult to control her as an elder sister while in Nigeria. She is a graduate, and she is tired of Nigeria, she is also a burden on my parents as she has been living and feeding on them. Most times I send them money she spends 80% of it for herself and she is been treated as a pet been last child. I am afraid I won't be able to control her as my sister when she comes over.

Who is the right person to invite? Please I need your advice . Thanks all

Why in hell are you trying to control your sister? You come across as one of those people that pay one's school fees and feel like you own them. Guess what, nobody owe you anything, including your sister!

Your sister is a burden, while criticising her is good, what have you done to hand her a life? Except pay school fees, and buy her stupid useless gifts (phones, clothes, money....all garbage to me).

You need someone to tell you the hard truth, and that is me! Less than two years my brother wrote me a N4m cheque to go study abroad, today I can pay back...comfortably! My brother can call me anytime, day or night for emergency bail out funds.

In a few years, will you be able to call your boss daughter for a quick $5,000 loan with no hesitation?

It seem like you enjoy being the bread winner, being responsible for everything and everyone in your family. Na you go tire.

I can relate to this and that is why I am taking it personal. Helping your sister out of Nigeria should be TOP of your priority, help your boss daughter after you have helped your sister if you are up to it and still feel like it. And you don't even need to get something in return before you help them .

Well, some good deeds set people for life...this seem like one of it. Help your sisters future and remove her from the long list of people you are "responsible" for in a couple of years. Let her children's children will reap the benefits.

Jhenny:
Nigerians and sentiments. She is your sister and so what. She obviously is not responsible enough to do anything not to talk of handling a child. Haven't we read of siblings hurting each other. I wouldn't even trust my child with an irresponsible person like that whether family or not. Like someone posted, invite the other girl and let it be in contract. Anything goes wrong and you can deal with her. For your peace of mind, Don't bring that your sister. She will only get worse.

Only miserable people will negotiate helping their own blood to getting something back in return!

Bottomline is you don't owe your sister anything! (you don't owe her money for tuition, or part of the tuition....if you do it, her soul will thank you and it will be wonderful) Same way your sister does not owe you anything! (not even to take care of your child as a favour, if she take care of your child, it'd be wonderful).

Your sister will get to where she will get to with or without your help. Same way your child be very well taken care of if both your sister and your boss daughter don't make it to the UK. That is life.

But you see, building wealth alone is gruesome and it can also be fun and easy if you build it with others.

Naira235:
No, I only met her all through my 3years training in her mom's shop like 8 years ago. The mother and her daughter still called or chat me up often to say hello to me, always asking about me during this pandemic, without asking or demanding for money or anything. My sister only call me whenever they are broke at home or my parents are sick.

This decision involves the life of your child and the best people who will take your children as theirs are your family members.

You have seen the worst of your sister and will soon start seeing her best if you are not too authoritative.

The other Lady maybe a saint but when the chips are down...family first.

both options are risky for u

Naira235:
Thanks for your advice. I think I will go by this advice. It's a contract and my boss daughter will conform more to it than my sister.

This is a tough decision, not because your sister is 'spoilt' . It's not her fault that she's spoilt. It's your fault and the fault of your parents who raised her. She should not have to suffer for that. I say it's tough because you feel the need to help this other lady and you need someone who you can rely on. For now your sister doesn't really appear to be that person.

Most times family take each other for granted, not because they are evil, but because they don't know better. Your sister doesn't call you because she doesn't think she needs to call, not because she doesn't care.

In my books, blood doesn't automatically make someone qualified for some favours, but truth be told I've not seen anything worth disqualifying your sister over. She is young, immature and protected. She will out grow it.

So you need to ask yourself. Is your sister evil or just a bit spoilt and misdirected?

Except you are looking for a maid and you know she won't be humble enough to take anything you dish out, unlike the other lady who may not have any choice. If you really just need her for childcare for a few hours daily, then I doubt if she will object to looking after her own neice.

I know you have the best intentions, but I hope you know what they say about the road to hell being paved with good intentions.

Never choose a stranger over family. You can still help both if you want to. But choose your sister first. It's all part of the sacrifice

Naira235:
thanks. I will hide the whole thing from my parents. Last born are always over pampered and most doesn't have what it takes to work for their family.

As a last born I take serious exception to that statement. I was pampered and protected. I never even cooked untill I got into the University. My roommate taught me how to cook. My elder sisters washed my clothes and did everything for me (I had a lot of elder sister). And no, I wasn't allowed to sleep all day. I did other chores like cleaning, washing dishes E.t.c.

People blame last-born's for being spoilt, but it's not their fault they are spoilt. It's the way they were raised.

Last born or not, I could never get away with some selfish traits your mentioned about your sister. Your parents let her get away with too much. You need to set rules, boundaries for her. And if she doesn't follow them, let her know there will be consequences.

Naira235:
Hi Everyone,
I have been paying high money for childcare here in UK and its giving me a second thought. My husband is a medical doctor and I work as a nurse for half days in a week, so we don't have to work all day and time to be financially okay as this is our first child and she is just 8 months old.

I can only afford to sponsor one person for MSc and the person has to be assisting me in childcare as a compensation.

I have a younger sister whom I am 6 years older than, she is a graduate but not currently working. She is a spoilt child been the last born and I am the first born. I found it very difficult to control her as an elder sister while in Nigeria. She is a graduate, and she is tired of Nigeria, she is also a burden on my parents as she has been living and feeding on them. Most times I send them money she spends 80% of it for herself and she is been treated as a pet been last child. I am afraid I won't be able to control her as my sister when she comes over.

I have another lady, she was the daughter of my boss where I was learning Tailoring in Nigeria. She and her mother were so respectful and caring. They are very poor and have no support anywhere so I am thinking of inviting her over for her MSc abroad and to also be taking care of my child for few days in return for her school fees.
Note : that is aside from their 20 hours work per week allowed on their student visa, so they can also work and have money.

The childcare is just few days in a week from 8am to 2pm. And I am hopeful it won't affect their studies.

Who is the right person to invite? Please I need your advice . Thanks all

sis,I think you should leave emotions out of this..since you already know your sis well..make her understand her reason for coming and talk to your parent abt it so they can talk to her too..for the other stranger who you know back then you can't tell if she has changed overtime.and also consider your husband with a stranger she might seduce your husband and before you knw it...
so I think you should choose your own blood

If your sister misbehave if you invite her over there are people back home you can report her to. who would you report a stranger to? infact she won't think twice before she takes any decisions, besides someone you knew 8 years back you need to take your time to know whether she is still that old good girl. stylishly raise the issue with your parents and tell them not to inform her yet until you finally decides, if you are sure they can check her exceses if she's brought over then you may consider her but have a secret plan of how to discard her if she eventually fumbles upon arrival.

cooooooks:
What do you mean by:

"a few days a week from 8 am to 2 pm"?

How much will you pay either your sister or your boss's daughter?

Would the UK govt characterise the relationship you wish to have with either lady as "modern-day slavery"?

Why I am asking is because you are looking for house help. Your sister/parents may not stand for it while the daughter of your boss may appreciate it....if you don't overdo it.

Inviting her over is applying for student visa through MSc route which cost over £15,000 and I see no evidence of slavery there.

I don't need any house help, but just a childminder. I have been paying childminder here but thought it will be additional advantage to someone else inform of tuition fees instead of paying over £700 every month for childminder . The only agreement is to pay their school fees direct to the school account in exchange for the work.

elektra:
The two options are risky. Use the masters money to pay for professional child care and have peace of mind.

Thanks alot for this advice.

Naira235:
Hi Everyone,
I have been paying high money for childcare here in UK and its giving me a second thought. My husband is a medical doctor and I work as a nurse for half days in a week, so we don't have to work all day and time to be financially okay as this is our first child and she is just 8 months old.

I can only afford to sponsor one person for MSc and the person has to be assisting me in childcare as a compensation.

I have a younger sister whom I am 6 years older than, she is a graduate but not currently working. She is a spoilt child been the last born and I am the first born. I found it very difficult to control her as an elder sister while in Nigeria. She is a graduate, and she is tired of Nigeria, she is also a burden on my parents as she has been living and feeding on them. Most times I send them money she spends 80% of it for herself and she is been treated as a pet been last child. I am afraid I won't be able to control her as my sister when she comes over.

I have another lady, she was the daughter of my boss where I was learning Tailoring in Nigeria. She and her mother were so respectful and caring. They are very poor and have no support anywhere so I am thinking of inviting her over for her MSc abroad and to also be taking care of my child for few days in return for her school fees.
Note : that is aside from their 20 hours work per week allowed on their student visa, so they can also work and have money.

The childcare is just few days in a week from 8am to 2pm. And I am hopeful it won't affect their studies.

Who is the right person to invite? Please I need your advice . Thanks all

After inviting your bosses daughter, prepare to have your sister as your permanent enemy the moment she finds out.

Please your sister is the best bet

Invite your sister. Remember if you empower her she is in a better position to help your extended family, and the burden will be reduced on you. Your former bosses daughter will think of helping her own parents first before she will even think of helping your own parents.

Confirm with the laws to see if this is legal. Your perception of what is or is not slavery is irrelevant tbh. The important thing is to make sure that the law sees no evidence of slavery.

Also, why do Masters, especially if it costs a bit? Why not a PG diploma? Do you have a tentative plan to get them residency? I don't know a lot about UK plans.

You used the word 'control' in your complaints of you and your sister's relationship while you were in Nigeria. Governments see 'control' as slavery, whether or not you pay for their tuition, after all, slaves are traded like commodities.

Naira235:
Inviting her over is applying for student visa through MSc route which cost over £15,000 and I see no evidence of slavery there.

I don't need any house help, but just a childminder. I have been paying childminder here but thought it will be additional advantage to someone else inform of tuition fees instead of paying over £700 every month for childminder . The only agreement is to pay their school fees direct to the school account in exchange for the work.

Naira235:
Hi Everyone,
I have been paying high money for childcare here in UK and its giving me a second thought. My husband is a medical doctor and I work as a nurse for half days in a week, so we don't have to work all day and time to be financially okay as this is our first child and she is just 8 months old.

I can only afford to sponsor one person for MSc and the person has to be assisting me in childcare as a compensation.

I have a younger sister whom I am 6 years older than, she is a graduate but not currently working. She is a spoilt child been the last born and I am the first born. I found it very difficult to control her as an elder sister while in Nigeria. She is a graduate, and she is tired of Nigeria, she is also a burden on my parents as she has been living and feeding on them. Most times I send them money she spends 80% of it for herself and she is been treated as a pet been last child. I am afraid I won't be able to control her as my sister when she comes over.

I have another lady, she was the daughter of my boss where I was learning Tailoring in Nigeria. She and her mother were so respectful and caring. They are very poor and have no support anywhere so I am thinking of inviting her over for her MSc abroad and to also be taking care of my child for few days in return for her school fees.
Note : that is aside from their 20 hours work per week allowed on their student visa, so they can also work and have money.

The childcare is just few days in a week from 8am to 2pm. And I am hopeful it won't affect their studies.

Who is the right person to invite? Please I need your advice . Thanks all

Your sister would have been a better option but you don't have a firm grip over her because she was spoilt by the family

Just ask her what she intends doing and sponsor her

Your boss daughter is another good option but your family will reject you if you should pick her

Just assist her to stand well

In the absence of non, take your sister and manage her, it's still to the advantage of your father family

Naira235:
Hi Everyone,
I have been paying high money for childcare here in UK and its giving me a second thought. My husband is a medical doctor and I work as a nurse for half days in a week, so we don't have to work all day and time to be financially okay as this is our first child and she is just 8 months old.

I can only afford to sponsor one person for MSc and the person has to be assisting me in childcare as a compensation.

I have a younger sister whom I am 6 years older than, she is a graduate but not currently working. She is a spoilt child been the last born and I am the first born. I found it very difficult to control her as an elder sister while in Nigeria. She is a graduate, and she is tired of Nigeria, she is also a burden on my parents as she has been living and feeding on them. Most times I send them money she spends 80% of it for herself and she is been treated as a pet been last child. I am afraid I won't be able to control her as my sister when she comes over.

I have another lady, she was the daughter of my boss where I was learning Tailoring in Nigeria. She and her mother were so respectful and caring. They are very poor and have no support anywhere so I am thinking of inviting her over for her MSc abroad and to also be taking care of my child for few days in return for her school fees.
Note : that is aside from their 20 hours work per week allowed on their student visa, so they can also work and have money.

The childcare is just few days in a week from 8am to 2pm. And I am hopeful it won't affect their studies.

Who is the right person to invite? Please I need your advice . Thanks all

Your boss's daughter obviously.

If you are my sister and you do This, I would disown you.

No matter what, helping your sister which us your family has lots of benefits...


At least you know your sister very well, but the other lady, do you know what behaviour she has gotten since you saw her last.




Your sister first

123abcclown:


Why in hell are you trying to control your sister? You come across as one of those people that pay one's school fees and feel like you own them. Guess what, nobody owe you anything, including your sister!

Your sister is a burden, while criticising her is good, what have you done to hand her a life? Except pay school fees, and buy her stupid useless gifts (phones, clothes, money....all garbage to me).

You need someone to tell you the hard truth, and that is me! Less than two years my brother wrote me a N4m cheque to go study abroad, today I can pay back...comfortably! My brother can call me anytime, day or night for emergency bail out funds.

In a few years, will you be able to call your boss daughter for a quick $5,000 loan with no hesitation?

It seem like you enjoy being the bread winner, being responsible for everything and everyone in your family. Na you go tire.

I can relate to this and that is why I am taking it personal. Helping your sister out of Nigeria should be TOP of your priority, help your boss daughter after you have helped your sister if you are up to it and still feel like it. And you don't even need to get something in return before you help them .

Well, some good deeds set people for life...this seem like one of it. Help your sisters future and remove her from the long list of people you are "responsible" for in a couple of years. Let her children's children will reap the benefits.

I love you for this Sir.

Very Apt!

Naira235:
No, I only met her all through my 3years training in her mom's shop like 8 years ago. The mother and her daughter still called or chat me up often to say hello to me, always asking about me during this pandemic, without asking or demanding for money or anything. My sister only call me whenever they are broke at home or my parents are sick.

You don't know enough about her to be able to judge that she is a better person than your sister, really.

This angel might turn out to be much worse than the devil you think your sister is.

I personally would rather help no one than choose to help an outsider over my own sibling.

Don't tread a part u will regret later... Your sister is the best bet here if your mum can't come over to help you.
I give u a life experience of a friend . Same country as yours, Made this same arrangement with a friend from nija to come over to enable her work reasonable shifts for five months while she accommodate and feeds her in return she care for her kid.she works 4days a week d friend 3days a week... She got to the UK, she that was brought in started work the next week and Neva did the child care for a day. Stories of her one family back in nija is sick and needs money started rolling in. Dax how my friend watched 5months rolled over without getting help from the friend... When u bring your bosses daughter over she can chux to work out of the plan and their is nothing you can do.or she come even get boyfriend and chux to move over to his house , what will you do. Na u lux b that. But your sister cannot jux abandone u and your baby, blood dey say is thinker than water. U self think am ,u go chux to give an outsider a better life living family . You can't win the case if the news comes out later...
And ur timing 8-2, what if the minder get class to attend and you need her to look after the baby... Who go solve the matter( in zlantans voice ) in other news bring your your mum or sister
Think about it

I was discussing with my girl today about this and we did a bit of research.

https://www.antislavery.org/slavery-today/domestic-work-and-slavery/

Excerpt from the site:
Domestic workers perform a range of tasks in private homes including: cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking care of children and the elderly and running errands. Some domestic workers also live in their employers’ homes and are often considered ‘on call’ to undertake work for their employer 24 hours a day.

The pay is often very low, with wage payments frequently delayed. Some domestic workers may not be paid at all or only receive ‘payment in kind’ such as food or accommodation.

For some domestic workers, the circumstances and conditions of their work amount to slavery. This happens when employers stop domestic workers from leaving the house, don’t pay wages, use violence or threats, withhold their identity documents, limit their contact with family and force them to work.

Naira235:
Inviting her over is applying for student visa through MSc route which cost over £15,000 and I see no evidence of slavery there.

I don't need any house help, but just a childminder. I have been paying childminder here but thought it will be additional advantage to someone else inform of tuition fees instead of paying over £700 every month for childminder . The only agreement is to pay their school fees direct to the school account in exchange for the work.

*path*

MamaEEE:
Don't tread a part u will regret later... Your sister is the best bet here if your mum can't come over to help you.
I give u a life experience of a friend . Same country as yours, Made this same arrangement with a friend from nija to come over to enable her work reasonable shifts for five months while she accommodate and feeds her in return she care for her kid.she works 4days a week d friend 3days a week... She got to the UK, she that was brought in started work the next week and Neva did the child care for a day. Stories of her one family back in nija is sick and needs money started rolling in. Dax how my friend watched 5months rolled over without getting help from the friend... When u bring your bosses daughter over she can chux to work out of the plan and their is nothing you can do.or she come even get boyfriend and chux to move over to his house , what will you do. Na u lux b that. But your sister cannot jux abandone u and your baby, blood dey say is thinker than water. U self think am ,u go chux to give an outsider a better life living family . You can't win the case if the news comes out later...
And ur timing 8-2, what if the minder get class to attend and you need her to look after the baby... Who go solve the matter( in zlantans voice ) in other news bring your your mum or sister
Think about it

cooooooks:
I was discussing with my girl today about this and we did a bit of research.

https://www.antislavery.org/slavery-today/domestic-work-and-slavery/

Excerpt from the site:
Domestic workers perform a range of tasks in private homes including: cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking care of children and the elderly and running errands. Some domestic workers also live in their employers’ homes and are often considered ‘on call’ to undertake work for their employer 24 hours a day.

The pay is often very low, with wage payments frequently delayed. Some domestic workers may not be paid at all or only receive ‘payment in kind’ such as food or accommodation.

For some domestic workers, the circumstances and conditions of their work amount to slavery. This happens when employers stop domestic workers from leaving the house, don’t pay wages, use violence or threats, withhold their identity documents, limit their contact with family and force them to work.

I doubt if you know what's operating in UK at all?? Domestic workers are different from Care assistant and also different from Child minders. Care assistant is different from live-in-carer and nanny. Everyone is proud of their profession and no one , I repeat none of the above can work , save £15,000 for school fees within 9- 12 months , and sponsor themselves with both feeding, accommodation and living expenses.

cooooooks:
*path*

I go use pigin answer you. So in all when I write , na to correct English pain you. Living the message... You no even fit think go Autocorrect or typo... You for start the correction from your user name... Try they mind your business if you no get anything good to say

Wait o. Why are you trying to invite any of these poor girls over into a live of slavery? How do you expect them to have time for their studies while working 20 hours a week and still taking care of your baby from 8am to 2pm? Are you looking for a house maid? I hope you know child trafficking is illegal in the UK.
You shouldn't go into this if you'll be giving these poor girls a hard life. UK is not heaven!