I Lost Confidence In My Girlfriend The Moment She Asked Me To Marry For My Mother.

I had a girlfriend some few months back before the covid 19 outbreak, that was after we went home from school due to the strike and the pandemic, we both are in the same school which is IBB university lapai, in our final.

So at home this faithful day, I put a call through! We both were talking, laughing on phone, so she ask about my mum, I said she was fine and she now ask abt her loneliness because no one at home, I told her but I'm still here with her, she ask what if school resume and what if we should go for our service next year, she now told me to marry another man for my mum.... lol... telling me who knows" that my mum might like the idea if I should table it with her. Gosh! I actually laughed about it then on phone with her but inside me, it wasn't funny at all.

The next day, what she told me was still bordering me, so many things were just running on my mind...so even if by mistake I wife her in future and the Lord decide to take me when we have a grown up child like me, who is planning on becoming a graduate this year and have even spent 30 years in marriage already....she won't even mourn me for long before accepting another man's proposal or bleeping with another man or probably her one time ex.

I decided to ask my mum with play, mum be sincere to me, you and my dad have been married since far back 1986... U both were in marriage for about 30 yrs before he past away few years ago, may his soul rest in peace..this is 5yrs now are you considering on marrying any one or having any kind of body movement or even can stand the presence of another man in your life?

Guess what her reply was....
Mum said my dad was the only man she know in her life and that's how it going to remain by God grace, period! and I shouldn't ask her such again with cry/smiles on her face because she has me and I will give her groundchil........

Seriously I don't know why I brought this here but pls tell me, any girl that can ask a 52 Year old woman to re_marry even after she has a child, isn't it clear that she can't stay without having sex to anyone as long as her husband is on a peace keeping mission or even travel abroad?

Thanks everyone.

U re definitely a child.

Ur GF was only suggesting something, since ur mom told you her opinion let the matter die already... Stop assuming nonsense

For me oo. Your supposed EX GF has a point.

Even in death Life goes on.
If the spouse choses to remarry.

You wouldn't want your mum hanging on you as her pseudo hubby... Your future wife "May" not like it.

Truth be told when she is alone and your kids are all married, she will eventually get lonely...

I am talking from 1st hand experience. So also it looked odd but we know better now.

EVERYDAY CALLS
JISTING ABOUT IRRELEVANT (to us) OLD PPLE STUFFS THE WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR MAN AND WIFE.

it all got us boring with time

Sorry to say, but the dead are dead.
And the world moves on.

It's okay for a 52yr old widow to seek for a man.
It's not all about pleasure but companionship.
Social interaction is key to mental health.

You shouldn't lose trust in your girlfriend.
She said nothing wrong.

In her own way, she cares about your mum.

chinchonglee:
U re definitely a child.

Ur GF was only suggesting something, since ur mom told you her opinion let the matter die already... Stop assuming nonsense

1992 pikin still be child maybe na the way I take reason the matter.

Thanks anyway.

You should be enraged but not for the useless reason you posted, if ya dead sod off! IDC

but its plain disrespectful to me js. Ima lose my shiiiit if someone says something like that IMO. Idk how close you guys are tho

All these happened cos you always over-talk with your girl on phone.. When you have nothing to say, just drop the call.. Stop engaging with unnecessary talks on phone with all these Nigerian girls... Nothing dey their head aside fucck!

I don't understand o. The girl made a suggestion that is not necessarily bad and you didn't like it, fine. But out of your myopic thinking, you feel she's bad.


Be honest OP, if you lose your wife, would you not take another? Even if you're 60, I'm sure you will.
So if it's was the reverse, why would she be a bad person then.


It is more honorable for a woman to remary than sleep around.

Your mum staying after 30 years is commendable, but in the chance she says otherwise, you have no right to say she's bad.

My mum is like your mum but it could be that the girl is joking, don't conclude soon.

So if u die now... (I don't wish u death.... Infact I wish u good health life and prosperity?)...



U would want somebody's daughters life to remain stagnant for u

Vyzz:
So if u die now... (I don't wish u life.... Infact I wish u good health life and prosperity?)...



U would want somebody's daughters life to remain stagnant for u

people's tradition sometimes matters, am just talking about after 30yrs in marriage, already have a child....what next will she be looking for when her child can still give her grand children, people's body and soul are different anyway especially when the man she marry was the only person that has gone down with her and maybe tradition and religion and what people will say

My dad has been dead for 11 years now and I need a man for my mum cause she is going to get lonely. She will be 55 next year, we have started getting married and her youngest child will soon leave her for NYSC.

Loneliness kills. Marriage is till death do any of the parties part.

There is nothing wrong with your girl suggesting your mum remarries, she's obviously more mature than you are.

Mvici:
1992 pikin still be child maybe na the way I take reason the matter.

Thanks anyway.

Age doesn't tell who a kid is bro.

How u handle situations like dis matters whole lot.

People want women to spend all their lives mourning the dead while men remarry after few months.

Mvici:

people's tradition sometimes matters, am just talking about after 30yrs in marriage, already have a child....what next will she be looking for when her child can still give her ground children, people's body and soul are different anyway especially when the man she marry was the only person that has gone down with her and maybe tradition and religion and what people will say

Will grand children you are yet to give her provide companionship for her?

After school won't you leave home?
It's not just about grandchildren

Romanoff:
My dad has been dead for 11 years now and I need a man for my mum cause she is going to get lonely. W shave started getting married and her youngest child will soon leave her for NYSC.

Loneliness kills. Marriage is till death do any of the parties part.

There is nothing wrong with your girl suggesting your mum remarries, she's obviously more mature than you are.

Loneliness kills. Marriage is till death do any of the parties part.

That was the only part I catch on but I knew someone like u will comment, ur last sentence no sweet me sha

The truth is sometimes when some girls don't av any reasonable thing to say, they spew rubbish. It's in their DNA.

They don't know that somethings hurt more than sword.

To her, she thinks she was been helpful.

I don't see anything bad in what she said,my dad is late too,have once told my mum to remarry too but she said no(it not all about sex but companionship)how I wish she can remarry

Nothing wrong in what that girl said

If your mother does not want to be married, I understand, Its difficult to move on after spending so much time with someone you love and he/ she is no longer there,

But That does not make it wrong or you are disloyal to that person.

You father is dead, Your mother can live happily with another man, You can have another father who can have your back as a man, Who can be your children's grand father( If God spears our lives) , You can take your eyes off your mother and focus on other important things in life knowing well that she is good to go ............ ................. ................................the list is endless

You make me think your ex-girlfriend is more a realist or logical than you( I hope you dont pick offence)

If I were not married and I meet your GF... I will marry her....

She reason like a REAL LOGICAL AND MATURED PERSON.

The older someone gets the lonelier they become.

Quick check...
Case 1:
My mum had 4 of us 2 of us were married before she passed on.

My dad remarried after a year... Despite we kids rebuffing and co.

Today we are all happy living.. the guy is living is life so we are.

Case two:
My wife's mum lost her husband over 22years now. And never remarried. With my wife being the first child, she calls my wife DAILY discussing things that don't interest us.... But interest her...
- Ooooh she has been made secretary to the women association in the village.
- how she got a set of new chicks and will rear dem till infinity.
I can go on and on... and this happens Everyday.
Best part is she flashes and we call.. and it goes for hours.
Point is she is obviously lonely as she stays alone in the building built by her husband in the village... All d kids are in Lagos chasing one thing or the other.
We practically have asked her self... Is any man not wooing u in the village.
Loneliness can lead to depression... So much though of.....

In you own stand think it thru....

You MAY underline MAY ... Never be there when she needed some one to talk to when u are married and seriously pursuing your career.

My point... Your GF was never out of place throwing such discussion.. only shows she have had a future in though which most ladies don't have.

I sure hope u too think of the future too.

Mothers of that set especially igbo people most of them don't remarry. It's this 80's down generation that started this remarry thing for women.

Even in those days women remarry for only children sake. Our generation has lost it everything sex sex sex

But Bros talk true

If your wife dies(hypothetical, no vex), you no go like remarry again or you'll remain like that forever.

For your mum, she's okay like that, nothing wrong with it but for others, they would like to get married again as well. It's a personal decision and I see no reason at all why you should lose trust when she's only being realistic.

And some one up there is trying to make it a gender issue when it's not. An Evangelist in my church (back when I was in the WORD) lost his wife to Cancer some years back and got married in less than a year and a lot of people were talking behind his back, saying things like he didn't love his wife in the first place.

Even my mom's step brother had people saying shit like this when he remarried a year after his wife died

Stop making everything a gender war

When a man remarries after the death of his wife, he remains in his compound while the new wife joins him.

This scenario will create issues for a widow with grown children getting married after the husband's death

Till death do us part.

People still think marriage is all about sex....I doubt if this is not one of the reasons some marriages are breaking today. Marriage is more about companionship, connecting with someone you can call your 'grade'. Someone who won't think you're bothering them when you tell them trivial things that bother you. I usually don't dabble into girlfriend-boyfriend issue but the girl is a right-thinking girl even though individual decisions (your mother's in this case) matter more. She's not said anything wrong, she's probably talking based on her observation.

Mvici:
I had a girlfriend some few months back before the covid 19 outbreak, that was after we went home from school due to the strike and the pandemic, we both are in thesame school which is IBB university lapai, in our final. So at home this faithful day, I put a call through! We both were talking, laughing on phone, so she ask about my mum, I said she was fine and she now ask abt her loneliness because no one at home, I told her but I'm still here with her, she ask what if school resume and what if we should go for our service next year, she now told me to marry another man for my mum.... lol... telling me who knows" that my mum might like the idea if I should table it with her. gosh! I actually laughed about it then on phone with her but inside me, it wasn't funny at all.

The next day, what she told me was still bordering me, so many things were just running on my mind...so even if by mistake I wife her in future and the Lord decide to take me when we have a grown up child like me, who is planning on becoming a graduate this year and have even spent 30 years in marriage already....she won't even murn me for long before accepting another man's proposal or bleeping with another man or probably her one time ex.

I decided to ask my mum with play, mum be sincere to me, you and my dad have been married since far back 1986... U both were in marriage for about 30 yrs before he past away few years ago, may his soul rest in peace..this is 5yrs now are you considering on marrying any one or having any kind of body movement or even can stand the presence of another man in your life?

Guess what her reply was....
Mum said my dad was the only man she know in her life and that's how it going to remain by God grace, period! and I shouldn't ask her such again with cry/smiles on her face because she has me and I will give her groundchil........


Seriously I don't know why I brought this here but pls tell me, any girl that can ask a 52 Yes old woman to re_marry even after she has a child, isn't it clear that she can't stay without having sex to anyone aslong as her husband is on a peace keeping mission or even travel abroad? Thanks everyone one

i dont know whats more disturbing in this issue: YOUR BABE or YOU!!!
A) what concerns this deluded babe whether your mother is alone at home or not? did your mum told her that she was lonely or what?
B) whether your mum is happy being lonely or not is irrelevant here, if you actually expect your woman to remain lonely for the rest of her life (if/when your are gone) then you are just as deluded as she is. if you are gone, let her find happiness and be merry again however she desires, instead of wanting this woman to be MISERABLE for the rest of her days, simply because you will be selfish and jealous about her (even when dead), lol!

there is nothing wrong with getting married again (even at 70yr old) and there is certainly nothing wrong with a widow to move on with life (as fast as he/she desires).. to each their own!

tarantino1:
But Bros talk true

If your wife dies(hypothetical, no vex), you no go like remarry again or you'll remain like that forever.

For your mum, she's okay like that, nothing wrong with it but for others, they would like to get married again as well. It's a personal decision and I see no reason at all why you should lose trust when she's only being realistic.

And some one up there is trying to make it a gender issue when it's not. An Evangelist in my church (back when I was in the WORD) lost his wife to Cancer some years back and got married in less than a year and a lot of people were talking behind his back, saying things like he didn't love his wife in the first place.

Even my mom's step brother had people saying shit like this when he remarried a year after his wife died

Stop making everything a gender war

I am a man and it is written that men are polygamous in nature and can marry as many as they like even in the old testament we see great men that marry more than one....but I tell u with the way I love that girl before, eventually had it been we later marry...and we had a son, we even spent 30yrs which I know by then i would be probably 60somthing.... seriously I won't really think much of another woman

Mvici:
I am a man and it is written that men are polygamous in nature and can marry as many as they like even in the old testament we see great men that marry more than one....but I tell u with the way I love that girl before, eventually had it been we later marry...and we had a son, we even spent 30yrs which I know by then i would be probably 60somthing.... seriously I won't really think much of another woman

"It is written that men are polygamous" this is your justification for choosing to remarry but, denying your spouse and widowed mother the opportunity to. Wherever that came from is evil.




It baffles me that our generation with all the information we are privy to and opportunities to unlearn and relearn still have myopic people even with tertiary degrees.
Don't you think your mom deserves companion and yes, even sex too especially if she wants it?


Don't you care about her happiness?

How does her getting remarried bother you? You still dey suck breast?

If you were a woman would you like to be subjugated just because of your gender?

Honestly, I think that girl is very lucky you are not together. She escaped a big narcissistic baby.

I would congratulate her if I knew her.

Romanoff:
My dad has been dead for 11 years now and I need a man for my mum cause she is going to get lonely. W shave started getting married and her youngest child will soon leave her for NYSC.

Loneliness kills. Marriage is till death do any of the parties part.

There is nothing wrong with your girl suggesting your mum remarries, she's obviously more mature than you are.

shey u dey mind that small boy? I wonder how comes he happens to b dating such an intelligent lady? She only made a suggestion and he took it 2 heart like a kid. Too bad he attends a university where I graduated from long time ago

too bad small boys with chicken hearts are rushing into marriage this days and those that are mentally and emotionally fit dnt have money to marry

Na pikin dey worry u guy




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