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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? (98446 Views)
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Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by Duru009(m): 11:49pm On Jul 06, 2020 |
This life is too sweet and short to be wasted! I will advice you to divorce her and co-parent the child!! And get marry to the love of your life and leave happily there after.... |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by Nobody: 11:50pm On Jul 06, 2020 |
ollins: Do you love your child? When I mean love, I mean can you sacrifice your life for him or her? Answer my question and I will know what to tell you |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by AnanseK(m): 11:51pm On Jul 06, 2020 |
baby124: I agree with you. But imagine the society insisting that Ashewos should marry customers who visited them , with no option at all. Sex should not automatically mean love and marriage especially if it was a consensual sex. Pregnancy is a well known possible side effect of sex. There are other side effects like sexually transmitted infections. If you two have sex, you have automatically agreed to take the risks, so why bring in marriage afterwards? Of course there are well known risk reduction methods either or both of you could take if you consider it important. |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by priscaoge(f): 11:52pm On Jul 06, 2020 |
bukatyne: You practically took the words out of my mouth. Thank you for stating fact and not painting words. How did he ever get erection? Now he called it a “Fling” to buttress his story. Very unnecessary thing to say! He saw all these and still asked her out, had multiple orgasm and even went down with her RAW!!!!! Oga Op, carry your cross and stop bothering us 2 Likes |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by mamatwiny(f): 11:52pm On Jul 06, 2020 |
CsRockefeller: I understand your situation. I once met a guy while I was serving in the north and in one week he had asked to marry me. I rejected his proposal cos I wasn't ready for any relationship nor marriage, but I liked his friendship/company. We remained friends, he kept coming to visit me. After some months, he asked again and I refused the second time. After a while, he told me he has to stop coming to see me cos the more he comes, the more attracted he becomes. He left the location and switched off his no. (later found out he went to work in the remote locations ) and didn't bother coming out again . It was when he left that I really found out I had fallen in love with him and really missed him so much. Sometimes, we don't know what we want until we lose it. My advice to the op is to try and remember what first attracted him to her. Even if it is just on thing, hold on to it and love her. Spend quality time together, take her out, but her good things, and the relationship will spark again . Give and you will receive. |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by Amotekun777: 11:52pm On Jul 06, 2020 |
HembaqMbk:
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Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by Ghostmode2two(m): 11:53pm On Jul 06, 2020 |
Has she given birth yet? Why fling with bae you can't marry? Bro Na long thing ooo |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by baby124: 11:54pm On Jul 06, 2020 |
AnanseK:Did he tell you he met his wife on the side of the road? If she’s an Ashewo then so is he and they should stay together and make their marriage work. Who understands and Ashawo better than her customer and Vice versa? |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by cnonyechi(f): 11:56pm On Jul 06, 2020 |
ollins: Better divorce her now, before we hear on the front page that "nairalander in loveless marriage commits suicide". 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by PharmaGirl(f): 11:58pm On Jul 06, 2020 |
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Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by petitejolie(f): 11:59pm On Jul 06, 2020 |
Can two work together except they agree? The both of u if willing can work things together. |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by Shaprara: 12:00am On Jul 07, 2020 |
How old is your child ? Let your child come of age, agree to divorce, so both of you can work and take care of the child. Don't go your separate ways if the child is 2,3,4,5 years old. |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by Germi9: 12:01am On Jul 07, 2020 |
bukatyne:he said a fling..ladies too can hide their bad side. God help us |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by DebbieSylvex(f): 12:01am On Jul 07, 2020 |
Build it up like a foundation. Get to know her&you guys should make it work |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by Dextre(m): 12:02am On Jul 07, 2020 |
ImaIma1: Cos men don't attach emotions to sex. Sex is just sex for men,a form of exercise, that's all. 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by fabienjoe: 12:03am On Jul 07, 2020 |
The baby that was the issue is already born. They should come together and discuss the baby's welfare. The guy can go to court and initiate divorce proceedings. He could claim he never loved her but was forced into the marriage on account of the pregnancy. I'm not aware of any law that imposes marriage on a man if he gets a woman pregnant. And I'm saying this with every sense of responsibility. If the resentment persists and the man feels trapped, evil may begin to germinate in his mind. For the woman's own safety, they need to go their separate ways.. |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by ogianyo(m): 12:03am On Jul 07, 2020 |
bukatyne:There are many reasons and circumstances that will make a man sleep with any woman. I guess you are not strong financially. Otherwise you'd make a comfortable arrangement for her and your child and explore the possibility of marriage from some distance. Its very to live the way you are living now for both of you. |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by chukemmang(m): 12:05am On Jul 07, 2020 |
You have carried your useless life to disturb the life of this innocent girl now. Why will you sleep and get her pregnant when you knew from the beginning that you didn't love her? That is the act of a coward. Please divorce the poor girl so she can meet a human being that will make her happy before your cowardly brain will drive you to kill her so that you can chicken out of the situation. |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by nextstep(m): 12:07am On Jul 07, 2020 |
ollins: OP, based on the little I know, I can say this solution is salvageable, if you want it. It appears you just despise her because of her education, and that it's affecting your romantic feelings towards her. I know many loud and loquacious women who "went to uni or poly", so... you're welcome to try your luck with an "educated babe". Or you can send her to school, or hire private tutors, to bring her up to some level. It might be tough and embarrassing for her, but it's possible, and has been done by others before you. There are also "finishing schools" that teach etiquette in Nigeria, if you can convince her (nicely) that it's something that would be good for both of you. You can look for "an educated babe" to tutor her privately (of course you should pay the person). You say have no interest in each other - what have you done to rekindle the interest? You're mentioning something many couples go through anyway, and level of education, profession, loud, has nothing to do with it. Basically, unless she is fundamentally a bad person, all the things you've mentioned are fixable. You just have to work on it. Many a man divorced their wife only to jump from frying pan into fire. |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by apprentist(m): 12:07am On Jul 07, 2020 |
Righteousness89: I believe this is all you need. Both of you should focus in loving God and in the process you will find love for your self 1 Like |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by TheSourcerer: 12:07am On Jul 07, 2020 |
PharmaGirl:not tribalism pure racism , you hate her whole Race , mehn didn't know it was biological , come to think about it ,of course racism and tribalism are biological , has to do with our ego and pride or straight out insecurity *Sorry meant for the guy you quoted |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by Kmaestro(m): 12:10am On Jul 07, 2020 |
Judging from the statement you made about her attributes of being loud, uneducated and loquacious, these are things you can change with understanding and patience. Also, For the fact that you bleeped her RAW (without protection) tells a lot that there are things about her that you are much likely drawn to. Take time to help her improve on that as well. In conclusion, the turn offs of your wife is something that can be improved upon with understanding, patience and cooperation. The few things that turn you on about her should be improved on as well, do stuffs that would trigger that part of her being. |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by warmachine(m): 12:11am On Jul 07, 2020 |
ollins:. Uncle! You said she's barely educated,well,you also sound barely educated too....How did you sleep with her in the first place?...it's nobody's fault,just start all over with her,you both have a long heart to heart session to undergo!...all these your "barely educated and loquacious" issues with her does not make her a bad wife or assure a happy home,only understanding,love, patience and tolerance makes a happy home!... And remember say everybody get fault. |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by mrchineke: 12:14am On Jul 07, 2020 |
Righteousness89: Foolishness and nonsense! Get out fast my man. You may end up killing her if you stay out of pity or so called commitment. Get out and damn the consequences! |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by csamii: 12:16am On Jul 07, 2020 |
Is there a gun to your head that you must be stuck in a loveless marriage? Or you think you can't care for your child if you remarry? Or your family will beat you if you file for divorce because they are the ones in pains abi? Oga, you don't have case! |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by mrchineke: 12:23am On Jul 07, 2020 |
CsRockefeller: Yet you and your yamlegged people want to die in Lagos? Why don’t you and your people vamoosed back to your backyard one plot igboland. Nonsense! That stupid girl sef! |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by Nobody: 12:25am On Jul 07, 2020 |
kaycee125:You are a poor fool.I heard you're a scammer.Track me na.Thousandnaire. |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by mrchineke: 12:25am On Jul 07, 2020 |
sandrapretty: Op! Get a divorce sharp sharp!!! If I get stuck with a woman I no longer love, I will poison her!!! |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by kizyalex10(m): 12:31am On Jul 07, 2020 |
ollins:sometimes i feel like slapping people like you,you are jst in to decieve someone's daughter nd break her heart jst to satisfy ur mannerless manhood,God have catch u,if u no love her then what of ur child, abeg goan sit down wish u re here let me beat u join .ewu |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by Yaks02(m): 12:33am On Jul 07, 2020 |
sylve11: Nemesis is catching up with him bro Both of u need counseling email me ur location at yaksdeshi@gmail.com Let's see if I can help |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by mrchineke: 12:34am On Jul 07, 2020 |
bukatyne: Bull crap! The same churches where everybody is sleeping with each other? Abeg! |
Re: How Do You Cope If Married To Someone You Don't Love? by mrchineke: 12:37am On Jul 07, 2020 |
armyofone: Just shut up! Go and force it na. When they kill each other no? |
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