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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question (86210 Views)
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Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by Sixfeetbelle: 4:31pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
XshegzzyeeiX: Did you ask her to elaborate on what she meant by such statement or did you jump into conclusion to soothe your ego that believes all women are financial leeches? |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by JeffreyOraz(m): 4:40pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
OvaSabi1: This your comment is so beautiful, it made me fall in love with you. Beautiful can not even describe it |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by plessis: 4:43pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
MrBrownJay1:Please can you help us understand the difference between the two? MrBrownJay1:That is why I said, when you love someone in the pure sense, try to reduce your expectations to the barest minimum because if you have expectations, and the person fails to meet your expectations, it can make you question yourself and you find yourself being restless, uncomfortable and feeling cheated. Expectations are the root of heartache. If you love your partner, whether man or woman, help her grow and expect less from him/her. That way, your tolerance level increases. This is one of the things love does to us as a spiritual tool. MrBrownJay1:like I said, I'm talking about love as a concept and not from the Nigerian perspective which has selfishness and desire as its lens. MrBrownJay1:As as adult, you should know what your woman needs to grow. I have a partner that I try to love. If she talks to me about shopping or outing, I turn her down because those are not needed for her to grow. But while arranging to further my education or getting a new skill/certification, I make plans for her too. If i read a life changing book, I forward to her. That's the agreement we had from the beginning. I'll turn her down if she asks me for money for hair or money for cream. Making new hair or rubbing new cream cannot help you grow. Her trivialities are not my concern. MrBrownJay1:You are misunderstanding me. When you say you love someone, there's already an obligation. Whether she asks or not, doesn't matter. If you have to walk away because she asked, then you don't love her. You have to prove your claim that you love her by caring and helping her grow. And most times, money is needed for it. |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by lexy2014: 4:48pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
babtoundey:What did u explain b4 that u don't have strength to explain further? |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by jawalis(m): 4:53pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
fortune1968:Did you say rewarding relationship? Pls remove that mindset. |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by Nobody: 4:59pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
blinkz4real:dont deceive urself.when a nigerian lady ask you can u take care of me it only means one thing...MONEY .Anyway if a girl genuinly likes u she doesnt make such a statement.Its only those who want to use u as their mugu or maga dat make such a statement.U can spend on a girl when u feel like and not spending on her cos she made the demand for u to spend. 3 Likes |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by Nobody: 5:03pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
MrBrownJay1:well said ..unfortunatly most guys use money to bribe ladies to make them have feelings for them and it works opposite for them .when they spend just to make the girl have some feelings the girl starts despising them and calling them mugu or mumu behind their back and the money he spends she uses to fund another guy she really cares for 1 Like |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by Nobody: 5:08pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
erikcantona:imagine that ..u havent even met her face to face yet and she is already asking u dat question...oga oo 2 Likes |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by THUNDAR(m): 5:13pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
Realtalk20: Really? grow up man 1 Like |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by SirMichael1: 5:14pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
blinkz4real:Resist the urge to dey shalaye. Nobody ask you for explanation. |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by THUNDAR(m): 5:15pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
Strangebuttrue:That's Life Bro live it or leave it! |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by THUNDAR(m): 5:17pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
Minemrys:Bro It's a first date, things are not Really that serious yet! you probably don't even know a lot about her yet! too quick to judge Bro! |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by THUNDAR(m): 5:18pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
trutht828:and am Happy about it! Thanks for noticing though |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by THUNDAR(m): 5:18pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
Lanruze:Thank you sir and Same to you too |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by THUNDAR(m): 5:19pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
SweetCunt97: Exactly! |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by sylve11: 5:25pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
lograr: Hahaha 1 Like |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by sylve11: 5:27pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
illicit: Sense finish you there.! 1 Like |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by MrBrownJay1(m): 5:27pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
plessis: very simple: she doesnt want you to care about her (aka love her), she wants you to take care "of" her (aka be responsible for her needs).... can you understand the huge difference! That is why I said, when you love someone in the pure sense, try to reduce your expectations to the barest minimum because if you have expectations, and the person fails to meet your expectations, it can make you question yourself and you find yourself being restless, uncomfortable and feeling cheated. Expectations are the root of heartache. If you love your partner, whether man or woman, help her grow and expect less from him/her. That way, your tolerance level increases. This is one of the things love does to us as a spiritual tool. there is nothing wrong with someone you love expecting you to be there for them emotionally/physically etc.... but if her love for you is based upon how much money you will spend on her, then that aint love (thats "pay as you go". this woman is clearly telling you that:" if you dont take care of me, then this r/ship cant happen"... and guess what? the day you fail to pay for her neeeds, she will quickly find another who can. this woman was paying for her needs before she met you and therefore there is no reason why it should now A) be any different or B) become your responsibility... just because you care/love someone certainly does NOT mean they become your responsibility...and if that was the case, then SHE will now be responsible for your needs too (since love is a two way street)... so SHE should pay your bills, SHE should pay your car notes, SHE should pay for your younger siblings school fees, SHE should pick up the bill when you guys go out etc you certainly dont know what LOVE is if you think that taking care of a woman's need is LOVE. like I said, I'm talking about love as a concept and not from the Nigerian perspective which has selfishness and desire as its lens. bro, unless a money hungry goldigging good for nothing hoe (or sugar baby), majority of women in the west wouldnt even ask you to be responsible for them. 110% of women in the west dont pay for their junior siblings school fees, majority of women in the west understand chivalry but dont demand that you take care of them like a child... thats what SUGAR DADDIES do, not your man. any decent woman understand that when you get with someone, you guys become ONE, not you guys become a sugar daddy and his sugar baby that you should be responsible for her needs. thats not love, thats a TRANSACTION. As as adult, you should know what your woman needs to grow. I have a partner that I try to love. If she talks to me about shopping or outing, I turn her down because those are not needed for her to grow. But while arranging to further my education or getting a new skill/certification, I make plans for her too. If i read a life changing book, I forward to her. That's the agreement we had from the beginning. I'll turn her down if she asks me for money for hair or money for cream. Making new hair or rubbing new cream cannot help you grow. Her trivialities are not my concern. as i said earlier: the above is about a couple being together for a while (to even talk of love), but if "your responsibility/contribution towards her needs" is her main focus on the 1st date, then get rid of the embarrassment. When you say you love someone, there's already an obligation. Whether she asks or not, doesn't matter. If you have to walk away because she asked, then you don't love her. You have to prove your claim that you love her by caring and helping her grow. And most times, money is needed for it. so what you are saying is that... i meet a woman who is strong minded, educated, independent, dedicated and, if/when she suddenly acts like a lazy good for nothing woman, i should still support such hideous person BECAUSE OF LOVE?!?! bro its obvious we have a different view as to what love is. LOVE to me is TRUST/HONESTY/CARE/UNDERSTANDING and i certainly cant love someone that, the 1st day we meet. she demands that i take care of her responsibilities. no cant do! - my honesty will let her know from the get go that i aint father xmas and if thats what she desire then thats not me... - how can i trust a woman who is only interested in what i can offer HER? - this woman is selfish and only cares about what she can get from me (aka a stranger)... she doesnt even know shiit about me on the 1st date but what she is concerned about is what i can offer HER?! - so my own life doesnt matter any longer right? my own siblings, my own parents, my own bills are irrelevant...and now only HER needs are the main focus of my life...abi?! there is a huge difference if a woman has one day some issue and she needs my help, than a woman who expects me to be responsible for her from the get go! trust me, before the end of that date, that undercover olosho will collect her 1st installment from you. 2 Likes |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by Nobody: 5:29pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
Lucrativress:Yes but the percentage of women saying it with Good intentions are about 14% |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by MrBrownJay1(m): 5:32pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
lefulefu: thats the whole problem here, and women fully well know that...so they go straight to the point and are telling these men:"if you dont take care of me then dont come near me" and these mumus will unwillingly start paying these undercover oloshos, until a dude with more money will take interest in the babe, thats when the initial dude will realize he was dating his own self all along. this is just auction of toto to the highest bidder... 2 Likes |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by SweetCunt97(f): 5:33pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
Caleycash:Generation of hard working men with pride, shame and self respect is fast eroding... Offcourse I'm well aware there are men who still got good heads. |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by SweetCunt97(f): 5:35pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
lefulefu:Good you know these low self esteem guys b buying short lived emotions with their change. They don't even care to be friends, get to know d lady deeply before trying to rope her in. 1 Like |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by AdeniyiA(m): 5:38pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
The statement sounds to me like "will you be able to cater for all my needs because if you can't I'll find another who can" Such a lady is a Heartbreaker and risky establishing strong relationship with 1 Like |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by Lucrativress(f): 5:38pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
Tabasco23:Yh very true |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by vickydevoka(m): 5:40pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
Mostly outside looking good gals ask dis question. Dis question is shows if u can cater for all her needs. I pity men day play along, Dem go milk u dry. |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by blinkz4real: 5:41pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
lefulefu: Maybe u just have 2 change the kind of girls u meet. My advice is that u try not 2 conclude on a people because of the mistake of some few. Naija gurls re not all bad, their a whole lot of good ones just check ur cycle. |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by earnit3: 5:43pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
Lol |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by fortune1968: 5:46pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
jawalis:Why ? Some men are out looking for a lady they will marry and who may be helpful in running the business they have in mind to establish in future . So, , it depends on your motive. |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by Ochuksbaba(m): 5:46pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
babtoundey: Always resist the urge to shalaye |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by vickydevoka(m): 5:48pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
Lajet:I swear 90% of gals are desame. U for kukuma tell her that u hate stingy gals too. Buhi Don finally make up my mind to hustle n save n marry n born. No tym for boyfriend n galfriend. 1 Like |
Re: When Asking Her Out, Let Her Go If She Asks You This Question by Nobody: 5:55pm On Jul 16, 2020 |
SweetCunt97:any man who gives money to a woman cos he wants to woman to like him has low self esteem of himself.A man can spend on a woman if he cares for her not because the woman is laying down dat as condition for relationship |
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